Oh, Baby!
by JillianPeters
Summary: The lives of Steph and the gang are changed forever after a night of partying on Miami Beach. Hilarity ensues as Ranger, Tank, Lester, and Bobby attempt to handle parenthood while still embarking on quests to rid Trenton of the bad guys. Hope you enjoy!
1. Give me two pina coladas

**Hi, everyone!!!! Thanks for joining me on another adventure, starring Stephanie Plum and friends, & Ranger and the Merry Men. This is the sequel to ****Can't Bill The Insurance For THAT!****, where Lester Santos meets his match and Stephanie and Ranger start their family together. **

**This time, hilarity will ensue as the fearsome four (Ranger, Tank, Lester, and Bobby) and their wives embark on a parenthood journey, one comedic disaster at a time. Beginning with how it all started…**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own any of JE's characters, but I do own Dayna Marrero and Ana Arias (I'm working on owning Lester, though. I'm only letting Dayna borrow him.)**

* * *

_As told by our very own Stephanie Plum-Manoso…_

A warm breeze blew in off the ocean and settled around Ranger and I as we swayed barefoot in the sand, completely content and relaxed. He pulled me close and kissed my forehead.

"You look so beautiful tonight," he mumbled to me. "It's almost not fair to the bride."

I blushed and Ranger's chocolate-brown eyes sparkled in the orange glow of the Tiki torches that surrounded the makeshift dance floor, which was really just a large spot in the powdery sand in front of the reggae band. Tank and Lula cha-chaed past us, caught up in the rhythm of the island music, their hips gyrating together and Lula's curls bouncing.

"Pffft," I scoffed, smiling. "There's no comparison. Look at her." Together, we turned our gazes to the giant white tent set up near the water's edge and spotted Dayna Marrero-Santos standing next to the table where Lester's folks sat, smiling and chatting up a storm with his mother. Her long brown hair flowed down her back in thick waves and blew in the breeze, and words couldn't describe how happy she looked.

"She won't be too thrilled when she sees what Lester and the guys are doing with their ties," Ranger said. Not far from where Dayna stood sat Lester, Bobby, Manny, and Erik. All four of them had their black silk ties wrapped around their heads like Ninja bandannas and were arguing loudly over who got to do the last shot of Patron.

I laughed and hugged Ranger tighter to me. Behind us, the waves crashed and a lone seagull sang out a witty tune. I watched as Dayna gave Lester's mother one last smile and then made her way over to where the guys were sitting. Bobby had won the tequila argument and was well on his way to oblivion, thanks to the full open bar in the far corner of the reception tent.

Dayna approached Lester, whipped the tie off his head and, laughing, bent down to say something into his ear. He must have liked the sound of it, because he responded by pushing his tongue deep into her mouth and squeezing her ass through her satin halter dress. Erik and Bobby whistled loudly and Manny gave a bark of throaty laughter.

"I'm surprised she didn't strangle him with that tie," I laughed. Ranger nuzzled my neck and mapped kisses up to my ear. I shivered involuntarily.

"So are you enjoying Miami, babe?" he asked me huskily.

I smiled up at him. "I'm having an awesome time, Ranger."

"High crime and horrific traffic aside, it's a pretty neat place. You've got South Beach, which is where we are now. The American Airlines Arena where the Miami Heat plays, Ocean Drive, Coconut Grove…lots to see and do."

"What are you, a travel commercial?" I laughed. "Royal Caribbean would be lucky to have you."

"I think it would be nice if we got to visit some of those places before we head back to Trenton." Ranger brushed a few stray curls out of my eyes and gently kissed my nose. The reggae band had just started up their version of "Red, Red Wine" and several couples made their way to the sand to enjoy the music and the warm breeze.

"What's the name of this hotel again?" I asked Ranger, motioning behind us towards the mammoth beach-front resort we were all staying at.

"The Setai."

"The Setai," I repeated. "I think it's the nicest hotel I've ever stayed in. Plus, all those free snacks in the cabinet –

"Babe," he cut in. "Those aren't free."

"Oh."

I guess he'd decided to let that go, since we were on vacation. The Setai truly was spectacular. The hotel management had made their pool and beach area available for the ceremony and reception. Several of us had decided to just go ahead and book rooms. This made sense because as it turned out, there weren't many guests who were in any shape to drive. I had no clue how much Dayna and Lester and their families spent on this wedding, but it was definitely close to six figures. Ranger was no doubt thinking that he paid his employees _way_ too much.

"Nice pants, Bossman," Tank exclaimed, as he and Lula swayed by. They both looked down at Ranger's tan linen suit pants, rolled up at the ankles. His feet were bare.

"Can't dance at a beach wedding with shoes on," Ranger told them.

"Damn skippy," Lula agreed. I noticed that her blast yellow stilettos had been kicked to the side near the bandstand and were sitting next to my royal blue FMPs. I laughed as I got a gander at Tank's dark hairy ankles, dusted with sand.

"Plans for this evening, you two?" Tank inquired, pulling Lula close and continuing to sway to the beat of the music.

"They're probably gonna be headed up to their room after this to make another Bat-Baby," Lula scoffed, gesturing towards me and Ranger.

"Lula!" I exclaimed, smiling and blushing furiously. I was met with Lula and Tank's skeptical glares. "Yeah, okay. She's probably right. But no more actual Bat-Baby _creating_. At least not for awhile. How about you guys?"

"You _know_ what we'll be up to. Right after our wedding, Tankie and I got down to business. We don't have no rugrats yet, but after tonight it's a possibility that all that Brown Bear Lovin' he's been giving me just might do the trick."

"Thanks for sharing," Ranger said dryly. "Good luck with that task, soldier." He saluted Tank, who barely mustered up a small wave in return due to his mortification. Someone placed a chair in the middle of the dancing area as soon as the song ended, and we all gathered around to watch what was going on.

"It's time for the groom to show his new bride some of his moves!" announced the lead singer of the UB40-knockoff reggae band. Several cheers and claps erupted from the guests on the dance floor, and a few people whistled. The rest of the guests poured onto the dancing area and gathered around the chair. I spotted Bobby, Erik, and Manny and waved them over to us. Manny had his arm around Bobby, guiding him through the throng of people. Bobby was cracking up about something that no one else seemed to find all that funny.

"He's had a LOT of fucking tequila," Manny hissed to Ranger and I, when they'd reached us.

"Where's Ana?" Ranger asked Manny. "She's supposed to be keeping him in line!"

"Right here," a voice cut in smoothly from behind us. Bobby's long-time girlfriend Ana Arias stepped into view and took over Bobby's care. "Baby, how much have you had to drink tonight?"

"Ummm…I really don't know. Damn, you're _hot_!" Bobby slurred to Ana. She laughed in a no-nonsense kind of way and let him throw his arms around her. She propped him up and had her arm around his waist in case he fell over.

"You'll be singing a different song later," Ana said wryly. Her tight black curls tumbled around her shoulders and Bobby leaned in to give her a sniff.

"Mmmmm," he said dreamily. "Baby, you smell like coconuts. I could just…"

"Just what?" Tank cut in, frowning. "You're out in public, you know."

The crowd erupted in cheers again as Lester, sans Ninja head-tie, made his way to the dancing area. His lopsided smile was huge, his white dress shirt had a few buttons undone at the top, and his Armani suit pants were custom-tailored.

Lula nudged me. I heard her whisper, "Sometimes I think Batman and my Tankie got nothin' on that one." She nodded towards Lester.

"Ahem!" Ranger coughed. "Tank, control your woman."

"Yes, sir," Tank replied. He silenced Lula with a quick pinch on the hip.

"Is that a preview of later on, my dark chocolate milkshake?" Lula seductively stage-whispered to Tank.

"It's a preview of _divorce_, if you keep up that kind of talk about my co-workers," he growled.

The crowd continued to cheer as Dayna appeared at the edge of the dancing area, her pristine white dress billowing in the breeze. She smiled a thousand-watt smile at Lester and gave him a small wave, and he crooked a finger at her to join him at the chair in the middle.

"Have a seat, Mrs. Santos!" the lead reggae singer announced. Dayna sat gingerly in the seat, keeping her balance in the sand. The crowd of close to two hundred was going crazy. Lester knelt down in front of her after placing a sweet, gentle kiss on her lips. He lifted up the hem of her dress and thrust his hands underneath it to pull off her garter.

Lester must have had more nefarious intentions, because whatever he was doing under there caused Dayna's eyes to glaze over and a deep blush to rise up on her cheeks. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and when she let it pop back out, she mouthed, "Our parents are here!" to him. Lester laughed and whisked his hands out from under her dress, and he had her lacy blue garter in his fingers. The crowd erupted in whistles and cheers again, and the reggae band suddenly turned Ritmo and started up a sexy salsa number.

Lester pulled Dayna to her feet and kissed her thoroughly before shooting the garter into the crowd like a rubber band slingshot. To everyone's absolute horror, Bobby must have gotten a sudden burst of coordination because his brown hand shot up and grabbed a tight hold of the piece of elastic blue lace.

"Yesss!" he screamed. Ana looked embarrassed as Bobby wrapped the garter around his bicep, muttering something about "all of us coming to HIS wedding next."

Lester and Dayna began to dance salsa, their bodies pressed close and their hips twisting in seductive Latin rhythm. They looked relaxed and were smiling, and I realized that this was the happiest I'd ever seen Lester Santos. Bless Dayna's heart for making a man like him settle down. Several couples, including Dayna's mom and dad and Lester's parents, joined them in dancing.

"They're pretty good," I said, nudging Ranger in the side and gesturing towards Lester and his new bride. He took me in his arms and held me close while we swayed back and forth.

"She's Cuban," Ranger told me. "She's naturally got it in her."

"And you don't?"

"Babe."

"Oh, come on, Ranger! I haven't seen you dance since our wedding!" I whined.

"That's not true. You danced with me at TPD's Halloween Lock-Up last year."

"For like, two seconds. Right before Hector fell in his 80's roller skates and ended up at the St. Francis ER with a knee brace."

Ranger chuckled. "Yeah. The bastard ruined that one for me."

"If you dance salsa with me right now, I'll make it worth your while," I said seductively. Ranger said nothing. He returned a wolf's grin back to me.

"Babe. Enough." The subject was closed. Ranger held me close and continued to sway back and forth.

"Fine," I huffed. We spotted Cal and Erik over at the bar, under the tent.

"Want to go get something to drink?" Ranger asked me.

"I could go for another mojito," I replied. I slipped my hand in his and we kicked our way through the sand, to the reception tent. We bellied up to the bar and Cal immediately turned to us. Erik, in a hideous suit that De Niro in Goodfellas would have envied, was indecisively scanning the row of liquor bottles lined up behind the bartender, trying to select a drink. He settled on something with Captain Morgan's in it and the bartender began blending up a white mixture.

"Bossman," Cal said, doing the complicated guy handshake with Ranger. "Bomber." Cal kissed me on the cheek.

"How's it going?" I asked Cal.

"Can't complain. Awesome wedding," Cal replied. "Perfect weather, too."

"This is the _shit_!" Erik suddenly exclaimed, turning to us and brandishing a huge hollowed-out coconut, complete with a funny straw and tiny umbrella poking out the top. I could smell the rum from where I stood.

"That's a pretty big drink, Salvatora," Ranger piped up.

"It's a piña colada," Erik replied. "Made special by my man Juan here." Erik gestured towards the blushing bartender in the white guayabera.

"Bottoms up," I said to Erik, as he and Cal headed off towards the dancing area. I turned to the bartender. "Juan? Can I get another mojito por favor?"

"Sí, mi amor. Un segundo." Juan set to work on my drink, his deft fingers skillfully crafting the alcoholic creation. Within thirty seconds, he'd put together a tasty-looking mojito, complete with spearmint leaves and lime wedges.

"Gracias," I told him. "It looks muy delicioso." I took a sip and grinned.

"Su español es bueno, señora," Juan said. "Tu marido te ha enseñado bien."

I just giggled. I turned to Ranger and whispered, "What the hell did he say?"

"He said your Spanish is good and that your husband taught you well." Ranger snagged a Corona from Juan and he and I began walking back towards the dancing area.

"Well, my _husband_ has taught me all kinds of stuff."

"And there's more learning where that came from." Ranger smiled another wolf grin at me and leaned down to nip at my bottom lip. He whipped out his cell. "I'll give my mother a call to see how Samantha's doing."

"Wait," I said, placing my hand on his arm. I craned my neck to see around the crowd in the dancing area. "Is that…BOBBY?"

To our absolute horror, a very drunk Bobby Brown was up on the stage with the reggae band, mike in hand, getting ready to belt out a song. He still had the Ninja tie on his head, his dress shirt was unbuttoned halfway, and he had stuck small palm branches into his pants so that they hung down like a skirt. Luckily he was wearing a tank top under that dress shirt, or the entire crowd would have seen the amount of chest hair he'd inherited from his mother. I cringed. It was like Chewbacca meets Planet of the Apes. The band strummed out the opening chords to "Could You Be Loved" by Bob Marley, and I saw Ana do a slow burn at the back of the crowd. Bobby still had Dayna's garter around his bicep.

"This is the best man speaking. I'd like to dedicate this song to my best friend and his new wife!" Bobby shouted into the mike. I spotted Lester and Dayna smiling at the front of the crowd, eagerly waiting for him to start singing. Several people had begun bouncing and clapping to the music.

The next four minutes or so would turn out to be some of the worst in my life. Ranger had seen death and destruction in third-world countries, dealt with poverty and widespread disease overseas, and been on missions that Satan himself couldn't have even survived. I'd given birth to an eight-pound baby and often times spend my days rolling around in garbage and what _appears_ to be _animal_ waste. But nothing – _nothing_ – could have prepared our eardrums for what they were about to withstand.

Bobby's rousing rendition of that reggae classic was definitely not music to anyone's ears. I was certain that Ranger's nuts had shrunk down to the size of marbles by the time Bobby began the second verse. Ranger was beside me, bopping his head along to the beat. His facial expression belied his gestures, because he was clearly grimacing. I checked out Dayna and Lester's reactions. They had stopped clapping after Bobby's first "_Could you be loooooved...and be lo-ooooved_" and were staring at him with shocked looks on their faces. I was damn sure that whatever sexy mood they'd been in before the song had started was now extinguished.

"Thank you, thank you!" Bobby was shouting to the crowd. He handed the microphone back to the lead reggae singer, who looked more than happy to have it back. Surprisingly, Bobby was somewhat of a hit. He got some cheers and claps from the few folks who were still conscious. Ana came forward and helped him down from the small stage before leading him to the reception tent to settle down.

"Can you check out my ears? Are they bleeding?" I asked Ranger. He looked at me.

"WHAT? I can't hear you."

"Never mind."

* * *

When the reggae band had reclaimed their place on stage (and their dignity), and Bobby was safely out of reach of the mike, everyone started drifting back onto the dance floor. I had finished my mojito and was working on a strawberry daquiri.

"Ranger?" I began, twirling a lock of his silky black hair around my pointer finger.

"Babe."

"I think I'd like to get you naked now."

"Would you," he murmured, smirking. Ranger drew his warm body to mine and kissed me just below my ear. His hands skirted my waist on their own volition, settling to rest on my hips just above my butt. My wild brown curls had been tamed into wavy submission, piled high on my head and secured with sparkly pins. I was wearing a royal blue knee-length halter dress that screamed "You want me!" as soon as Ranger's eyes had locked on it earlier in our hotel suite. However, the matching royal blue FMPs were NOT up to sand-dancing stipulations.

"Yes."

"But the reception isn't over yet," he mumbled to me. He nipped at my earlobe and I heard myself whimper.

"Dayna and Lester sure look like they're ready for it to be over," I muttered, nodding towards them. They were in the middle of the dance floor, pressed tightly against each other, talking quietly in each other's ears, and Lester's hands had begun wandering.

"Check out Tank and Lula," Ranger said, gesturing to his right-hand-man and my insanely…bright…partner in crime. Lula's lemon yellow tube-top number was blinding against the cocoa of her skin and the midnight blue of Tank's suit. They were dancing seductively near the back of the dance floor. Bobby and Ana weren't far away. They were back at their table under the reception tent, chatting quietly and stealing kisses every now and then. Bobby looked only slightly more sober than before, during his breakout reggae performance.

"What time is it?" I asked Ranger.

"It's quarter to one," he replied, glancing at his cell. "Latinos party for hours past midnight. If we don't leave now, we'll never get up to our room. Come on." He pulled me over to the dancing area. We sidled up to Lester and Dayna and Ranger clapped Lester on the back.

"Congratulations, man," Ranger said to him. Lester hugged him tight.

"Thanks, Bossman," Lester replied. "Glad you guys are here."

"We wouldn't have missed this for anything, Les," I said. I reached up and kissed his cheek before pulling Dayna into a tight hug. When we broke our embrace, Ranger pulled me back up against his side and kissed me on the forehead.

"We're thinking about heading upstairs," Ranger said, gesturing towards me.

"Go for it," Lester replied. "I'm sure it won't go on too much longer. Bobby's fucking _fried,_ dude. My uncle Tito's going around asking everyone for ten dollars...Cal hurt his back dancing salsa with my cousin Veronica...and I think Erik got seriously bombed after drinking that giant-ass piña colada."

"Ana'll take care of Bobby," I assured Les. "Don't worry. And as for your uncle Tito...I don't think he understood when I told him I didn't have any cash on me."

"It's okay, Steph. He only speaks Spanish. Saying 'No dinero aqui' usually works just fine," Lester told me. "For future reference."

Dayna laughed. "I'm so glad everyone's down here in Miami," she said. "It really means a lot to us."

Lester nodded and slid his arms around Dayna's waist. "Baby. Just an FYI: Juan cut your mom off from the bar just now. Something about having served her a fourth or fifth glass of Chablis."

"Dammit! I was afraid this would happen." Dayna untangled herself from Lester's arms and hauled ass across the reception tent.

"So…see you in the morning?" I said to Lester.

"Maybe," Les replied. "Probably'll be more like afternoon." He waggled his eyebrows and threw us a saucy grin before dashing across the tent to collect his new bride.

I laughed evilly. "I feel _really bad_ for whoever got unlucky enough to be stuck in the suite next to theirs."

"We did, babe. Remember?" Ranger said on a sigh.

Aw, crap.

* * *

Tank and Lula followed Ranger and I into the elevator and we all rode up to our rooms together, on the third floor. Tank and Lula couldn't keep their hands off each other and Lula kept promising Tank something called "The Big Bang", which, each time she mentioned it, caused his eyes to glaze over and his mouth to twitch in anticipation.

I shuddered, not wanting to think about any part of their Brown Bear Lovin'. When the elevator stopped at three, Tank and Lula bounded off without a second glance back to Ranger and I. Probably just as well; things would be uncomfortable between all of us in the morning if they hadn't gotten snockered at the reception downstairs on the beach. On the way to our end of the hall, we passed by Bobby and Ana in the vending machine room, their backs to us. Ana was filling a small plastic container with ice and Bobby was standing behind her, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. They were both cackling maniacally and I thought I heard the words "sweet little ass" escape from Bobby's mumbling lips. I had absolutely no idea what they were planning on doing with that container of ice cubes, but from the way they were acting it sounded like one or both of them were in for a really "cool" treat. _Yowza!_

Ranger had me pulled close to his warm body when we rounded the corner to our suite door. He held me flush against his side as he fished for our room key card in his pants pocket, pressing hot kisses just below my ear and whispering the naughty things he wanted to do to me when he could finally get me locked into the suite with him. Some of his suggestions were outrageous and made my lower pelvis burn in anticipation.

A loud crash to our right ruined the moment and Ranger and I stopped cold. To our complete surprise, Dayna had managed to slam Lester up against the door to their hotel suite and Lester, in between furiously trying to single-handedly unbutton the forty-six buttons trailing the length of the back of Dayna's wedding dress and swiping their key card in the door handle, had his tongue buried deep in her mouth and his knee between her legs.

"_What the fuck is up with this dress_?" Lester growled, in supreme sexual frustration, jiggling the still-locked door handle and frantically clawing at the back of Dayna's gown.

"Just rip it," was the belligerent, breathless reply. Lester ceased his door handle jiggling and took a moment to gaze down at his new bride. I watched his eyes darken into pools of onyx as he took in her unheard-of suggestion. Who rips a Vera Wang wedding gown?

"God, you're incredible," he finally exclaimed, yanking her closer to him and kissing her roughly. Lester used two hands to separate the intricately sewn-on row of perfect pearl buttons, ripping them from the dress and sending them flying towards us. A button sailed by Ranger's face and nearly knocked off his nose. Dayna and Lester were _completely_ oblivious to our presence, and although I felt like a complete pervert for watching them, I found myself unable to look away.

"Lester…" Dayna whimpered against his lips. Her face was flushed and sweaty, her hair was wild, and her perfectly-manicured artificial nails were raking a fiery trail up Lester's bare back and down his chest under his dress shirt.

"I have not thought about anything else tonight except getting you back to this hotel room and making love to you until you're screaming for me never to stop," Lester growled to Dayna. At his words, Dayna's eyes seemed to transform into an even darker shade of midnight blue as she ground against his lower half, trying to feel him through the layers of satin and chiffon lace.

"Baby, I can't wait any longer," Dayna breathed in his ear. "I need you inside me _right now_." With one last growl and one final purposeful jolt of the now-unlocked door handle, Lester managed to catapult them both into their suite and, with a huge bang, slammed the door after them.

I realized I wasn't breathing and my face felt flushed and hot, like I'd had my head over a pot of boiling water.

"Earth to Babe," Ranger's voice was saying. It sounded like he was talking down to me from Jupiter. I let out the whoosh of air I'd been holding in and turned to face him. Ranger's eyes darkened when he took in my state and the beginnings of a wolf grin appeared on his lips.

"Sorry," I grumbled to him.

Ranger chuckled lightly and tucked a renegade curl behind my ear. "See something you liked?" he asked, nodding towards the spot where Dayna and Lester had just been moments ago. Jolts of fire swept down to my doodah. Hell yes, I saw something I liked.

"Think we could take them?" I croaked out, wrapping my arms around Ranger's neck and toying with the collar of his silk dress shirt. Ranger let out one of his rarely-heard barks of full-blown laughter and hugged me closer to him.

"I'm not sure," he said. "This is Santos and Ms. Marrero we're talking about. I think they're the hottest couple under the sun right now."

I scoffed, but I knew he could be right. I hated to think that some of the wind had already been knocked out of Ranger's and my sails. It was a silly thought, but part of me worried that someday soon Ranger and I wouldn't quite have what we used to have. We were already married. We have a beautiful daughter, but Samantha is hard work. It's not easy spending your days running around with an eight-month-old. Or chasing after a bunch of hygienically-challenged buffoons who, on a regular basis, decide they'd rather get smashed or finish sleeping off the previous night's booze binge instead of making it to their mandatory court appearances. Both Ranger and I have such crazy, hectic lives that sometimes it makes intimacy a little bit of a challenge. Not that intimacy with Ranger is any kind of a hardship.

"Babe, your ears are steaming. Penny for your thoughts?" Ranger was staring down at me with a look of concern etched on his handsome face. I shook my head and smiled.

"Just wondering if we're still just as hot of a couple as they are," I said. Ranger bent down to place a searing, open-mouthed kiss on my throat.

"Oh, I think we are. But...a challenge is a challenge," he grumbled, nipping up my jaw line and trailing his lips to my ear. A flood of wetness was introduced into my thong as I turned to absolute mush against him. Ranger had to hold me up or else I would have toppled over in my FMPs, onto the plush black carpet of the hotel hallway. Yeah, he still had it.

"Then get the damned door open, Batman."

Ranger resumed fumbling in his pocket for the card to slide into our door handle. "Hey, cut me some slack. Even Batman still has to use a room key."

**What do you think? Shall I continue? Your input and thoughts are greatly appreciated!!! **


	2. Something in the hotel's water

**Thank you all SO MUCH for the wonderful reviews and encouragement! I'm excited to be writing this story for all of your (and my) enjoyment. As always, I hope to update this frequently so as to not keep you in too much suspense. I still have to finish my other story, Limericks and Lovin', so look for an update on that soon as well. Happy reading! **

**Warning: Rated M for language and adult content.**

* * *

When I was regularly blowing up Ranger's megabucks vehicles, he would tell me that they were easy to replace. And that I, on the other hand, was _not_ replaceable. So when Scooby Danielson went FTA and took a flamethrower to my new Range Rover SUV in a fit of rage, melting both my purse with takedown goodies and Samantha's baby seat, Ranger's facial expression hinted that a part of him wished I would have gone up in flames with my car this time.

"Babe," he gritted out, once the wrecker had retreated with the Range Rover's skeleton and the last fire truck had roared away. "I was counting on you to have that vehicle for at least a year or two."

My shoulders sagged and I hung my head miserably. "I'm sorry, Ranger. I'm still hell on your cars AND your men." I glanced at what I'd managed to salvage from my charred SUV: a cell phone charger. And the cell phone that it charged was toast. I was so pathetic.

"Dayna had to prescribe anti-anxiety medication for several of the guys because tailing after you and Lula on skips is making them nuts. I wish the two of you would just consider my offer of full-time office positions."

"No can do," I informed him. "We've been through this before, Ranger. I'm not a corporate monkey. I can't push papers all day and stare at a computer screen until glaucoma sets in. And I don't think Lula will go for any of that, either. She's too…hands-on, you know what I mean?"

"Unfortunately, yes. And so do several of my employees." Ranger kissed my forehead and gazed down into my eyes. His voice became softer when he spoke again. "But you're my wife. And the mother of my child."

"Speaking of our daughter, does Ella have her or is she with your mother?" I asked Ranger.

"Ella. Since I had to leave in an emergency, she jumped at the chance to watch Samantha."

"Good. Because last time you let Lester have her, and I _swear _the other day I heard a little tiny "fuck" come out of her mouth when she dropped her bowl of strained peas on the kitchen tile."

"You must have been hearing things, babe. Dayna's been working on cleaning up his filthy mouth."

"I'll just bet she has," I muttered. "They've been married a month. I'm surprised she hasn't invented new ones to teach him yet."

"Do you need a car for today?"

Clearly. But I found myself saying, "That's okay. I'll just ride along with Lula."

* * *

Lula drummed her fingertips on the steering wheel of her Firebird in time to Tupac's bass. I was, of course, riding shotgun and calmly enduring the vibrations that the music was causing in my teeth. I noticed that my eye twitch wasn't _quite _so bad this time, so that was progress, right? She motored down Hamilton, away from the bonds office.

"First, we'll get us some food. Then we'll get us a Spellman."

"I'm not sure old Roger will be feeling friendly at this time of day," I told her.

"Hell. Friendly my ass. He'd better be feelin' real friendly, or else he'll be forced to become ass buddies with my stun gun."

I glanced around the Firebird. "Why haven't you taken up Tank's offer of a new car?"

"What, one of them big-ass fancy-pants SUVs? Can't rocket around in those things. No ma'am. I need speed. I need zooming ability. I need Dolby."

"You wouldn't have to worry about cramming filthy skips into your backseat. Or three-day-old corpses into your trunk," I pointed out, referring to poor unfortunate Elliott Harp and his death ride through the bowels of downtown Trenton.

"Nope. This here Firebird is just fine for Lula."

"Maybe get a bigger seatbelt then," I gritted out. The shoulder harness was cutting into Lula's basketball boobs, squishing them through the middle and making them ooze out from around the strap's edges. "Isn't that shoulder strap too tight?"

"Come to think of it, yeah. I have to pull extra hard to get it to buckle." Lula unsnapped the seatbelt and it whipped back into its position by the door, and her boobs sprang out into their original shapes. She let out a sigh of relief and did some heavy breathing.

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but your chest looks…heftier than usual."

"It must be this new bra I recently bought," Lula replied. "I had to get something with a little more support. Seems like the girls have been a little achy lately."

"Yeah?"

"It's probably on account of I've been eating so much chocolate and drinking so much caffeine. You're supposed to be a little achy when you eat a lot of chocolate and drink lots of soda."

"What kind of soda have you been drinking?" I asked her. "Because Coke and Dr. Pepper are loaded with caffeine."

"Nope. Sprite." Lula shook a gallon-sized Big Gulp of soda and ice at me and took a healthy sip.

"Sprite is caffeine-free," I told her. "And last I checked Starbursts are not chocolate."

"They might as well be," Lula huffed. "They're just as addicting."

A thought popped into my head. "Lula, are you pregnant?" I asked.

Lula continued to huff and puff. "Sweet Lord. Hail Mary. Mother of God." Lula rocketed the Firebird into the drive-thru lane at Cluck-in-a-Bucket. "I need grease. I need fries. I need pie. I need that greasy, salty, fried motherfucking bird _right now_."

"I thought you and Tank were trying to get pregnant," I said. The thought of Lula raising a child with that mouth caused tendrils of panic to curl in my stomach. The kid's vocabulary would be more creative than Sally Sweet's on a school bus ride through hell.

"Lord on the cross, it might be true. That old son of a bitch just might have impregnated me with his spawn! Wait'll I get my hands –

"_Can I take your order?" _a metallic Cluck voice rang out from the loudspeaker.

"Yes, you sure as hell can! Give me a number three, extra crispy, extra greasy. I want an extra fries, two Clucky apple pies, and a super-size Sprite." Lula turned to me. "What about you?"

I sighed. No sense on confusing the drive-thru kid any further. "Just tell him to double that."

* * *

"What makes you so sure Tank and I are having a baby?" Lula demanded around a mouthful of Clucky apple pie. We were parked stealthily in the lot behind Kan Klean, where Roger Spellman worked as a dry cleaner for the larger-than-life Macaroni clan. Food wrappers covered every inch of the Firebird's front cabin.

"I'm just saying. Before I found out I was pregnant with Samantha, I had an awful time with finding a bra that fit. Every single one of them was painful to wear. And Ranger noticed I was more…sensitive." I crammed a few fries into my mouth and chewed.

"Don't be talkin' about Batman-lovin'. I'll get them hot flashes again."

"While we're on the subject, what's 'The Big Bang' all about?" I asked her before taking a sip of my gallon-sized Sprite.

"If I tell you, I'll have to kill you." Lula crumpled up the wrappers surrounding her and stuffed them into a paper bag. Scary thing was, I believed her. Probably after finding out what 'The Big Bang' was I'd more than likely wish I was dead, anyway.

"Are you late?" I asked her. "I mean, period-wise?"

Lula stopped to think for a second. "Actually, yeah." She ticked off her fingers as if she was counting. "Three days."

Yikes. I was suddenly galvanized into action. "Let's hit the Walgreens on South Broad. We're getting you a pregnancy test. Spellman can wait."

Lula fired up the engine and we blasted down Hamilton. She squealed into the drug store parking lot on two wheels and hauled me inside with her. We frantically searched the store for the "feminine" aisle.

"Over here," she called to me. I dashed over to where she was standing and together we faced the daunting task of which test kit brand to choose.

"This one promises results in a clear, easy-to-read format," I pointed out, holding up a pink and white box. "And it comes with a bonus test in case you pee on the stick wrong or accidentally drop it into the toilet." Lula snatched the box from my hand.

"I'll take it." She carted the box to the register and ignored the morbidly-curious stares of the three people who'd gotten in line behind her. When she'd paid for the test kit, we ran back to the Firebird and rocketed towards the bonds office.

"What the hell is going on?" Connie demanded, looking up from the paint job she'd been doing on her nails when Lula and I stormed into the office like paratroopers invading the Soviet Union. Connie'd painted her nails crimson blood red. A vampire's _and _whack-job Joyce Barnhardt's ultimate wet-dream come true. Lula dashed one of the test sticks into the bonds office's bathroom and slammed the door behind her. I tucked the bonus test stick into my purse, in case of a future pregnancy emergency. You never knew with the kinds of friends I had.

"Tank and Lula might be reproducing," I informed her. I took a seat in one of the guest chairs facing Connie's desk. "Frightening."

"I'll say." Connie blew on her top coat. "I thought they were trying, though."

"They are. Lula's just a little freaked out about it, that's all. She wasn't expecting to get pregnant so quickly after having those fertility tests done." I snagged a doughnut from the box on Connie's desk and watched as powdered sugar sifted onto my red t-shirt. Oh, well. I looked on as Connie proceeded to shellac her lips with a color so similar to blood that I wondered if the lipstick was manufactured by the American Red Cross. It seemed to match her nails exactly.

"You know, if you were twenty years younger you could have auditioned for _Jersey Shore _and made it on there," I said to her.

"Pffft," Connie scoffed. "Those kids give New Jersey..._and _Italians...a bad rap. That show is nutso." Connie stuck the tube of lipstick into her top desk drawer and waved me off.

I didn't believe her for a second. "So...which one of them would you be?"

Connie grimaced and looked embarrassed. "Snooki," she said finally.

"I figured."

A loud war whoop rang out from behind the closed bathroom door and Lula burst out then, wearing a grin the size of Argentina. "This motherfucker's positive!" she hollered, punching her fist into the air with joy. "I knew it! Steph was right! I'm finally knocked up!" Lula waved the positive test stick in Connie's and my faces to prove it. "I didn't even have to wait the three minutes!"

"Congratulations," I exclaimed, swooping Lula into a tight hug. Connie joined us and we all began jumping up and down.

"I've gotta tell my Tankie," Lula cried. She dug around in her giant shag-fur shoulder bag for her cell phone and managed to get Tank on the line at RangeMan Control. She put him on speakerphone.

"Brown Bear," she exclaimed. "Guess what, baby. We're pregnant!"

"Oh my God!" Tank hollered. He put his hand over the phone receiver and I assumed turned to the guys who were in Control with him. "Lula's pregnant!" Several muffled whoops and hollers and whistles were heard in the background. Tank came back on the speakerphone. "Ram and Bobby and Hector are going wild over here."

"Good," Lula exclaimed. "Because I was sort of freaking out earlier, too. But not no more. Are you excited?"

"Of course I am! I can't believe it. I'm going to be a father!" More whooping and whistling.

"I'll see you in a few hours, Brown Bear. Love you!" She snapped her phone shut and flopped happily onto the fake brown leather couch across from Connie's desk. She rooted around in her shocking-green fun fur shoulder bag and emerged with a tube of Blistex. "I'd better start eating better. No more Tastykakes and Sprite and shitloads of candy." Because all those sweets sounded to me like a diabetic's nightmare, and her developing fetus might end up being born with several cavities and a fetish for Willy Wonka memorabilia.

"Better yet, how about no more Cluck-in-a-Bucket?" I said, glancing at her handbag. "And by the way, which Muppet did you kill in order to make that purse?"

"What? That's protein! And electrolytes! The baby's gonna need all that."

Electrolytes? "Lula, how about if you just eat what your doctor tells you to eat? I think that would probably be best."

"I hope he tells me that Clucky apple pies are essential for expectant moms-to-be."

"Doubtful."

The glass door to the bonds office swung open and Ranger strode in, holding Samantha and wearing a huge smile. Well, huge for Ranger.

"There's my girl," I cooed, going over to them and lifting Sam out of his arms. He leaned down and kissed me quickly before removing his sunglasses. I covered Samantha with loud, smacking kisses and carried her over to say hello to Connie.

"Batman," Lula exclaimed, jumping up off the couch and making a mad dash for Ranger. "Guess what!"

Ranger's smile widened. "I know. I just spoke to Tank. Congratulations." Ranger kissed Lula on the cheek and threw an arm around her shoulders.

"Lula's worried that her doctor won't let her eat Cluck-in-a-Bucket now," I told Ranger, coming to stand next to them.

"What a tragic loss," he lamented. "You know what I heard the latest food fad is? Salad. Salad with lots of folic acid and grilled protein-y chicken chunks. And whole grains."

"Hunh," Lula said. She looked thoughtful. "Salad."

Connie was bouncing Samantha up and down on her knee. "Looks like Sammie here is gonna have a little playmate soon."

"She's going to love that. She loves being with other babies. You should see her at that Mommy-and-Me class I take her to every Tuesday. She's already got boy babies hitting on her," I said.

"That's strange. Santos doesn't have any sons," Ranger joked.

"Thank God for that."

"Don't forget, dinner tomorrow night with him and Dayna. Rossini's at eight. I've got my mom watching Sam for us." Ranger leafed through a couple stacks of files that Vinnie had left out for RangeMan to work on. I took Samantha from Connie and broke off a tiny piece of doughnut to give to her.

"Steph," Ranger began.

"Oh, come on, Ranger. Just a little bite." I popped the tiny piece of powdered doughnut into Samantha's waiting mouth and watched as her little eyelashes fluttered shut in sheer satisfaction at the yummy treat mommy had just given her. Some of the powder from the doughnut bite sifted onto Samantha's red onesie and little denim skirt. Oh, well. Like mother, like daughter. Ranger was just going to have to deal with it.

* * *

"Everything sounds _so good,_" Dayna exclaimed. "I'm starving." I watched her blue-green eyes go wide over the top of her giant Rossini's menu. She sounded like she hadn't eaten in weeks.

"Santos, are you feeding her?" I asked Lester. He was eyeing Dayna like a hawk, frowning. She was doing a great job at ignoring him, too.

Lester scoffed and turned to Ranger and I. "Yeah," he said. "Believe me, she's eating. Baby, you remember that sub you ate for lunch today? The one you went and picked up from Mike the Greek's deli? And were supposed to split with me?"

"Yeah? What about it?"

"What happened to my half?"

Dayna slammed her glass of ice water down so hard that some of it spilled over the edges onto the white linen tablecloth. "Lester, I _told_ you," she exclaimed angrily. "I was practically attacked by that raccoon down in the underground garage! I had to give it _something!_" Dayna turned to Ranger. "You really should do something about the raccoon problem down there, Ranger."

I glanced at Ranger just in time to see that he was turning deep red from holding in laughter. When he regained control, he spoke. "I'm sure there aren't any raccoons down there." He picked up his ice water and took a sip.

"Nope," Lester agreed. "There aren't. And it gets better. Cal was manning the guard gate this afternoon and he saw you pull in after running to Mike the Greek's. He told me that you got out of your car, removed a foot-long sub and about a gallon of soda, and marched into the elevator to head up to your office."

Dayna blushed furiously and frowned. "Well, I think Cal needs to see me for a vision examination."

"I think you need to see _yourself _for an eating disorder," Lester exclaimed. "You spent almost an entire week's worth of my pay at Giovichinni's yesterday! What the hell did you buy?"

"Groceries. I'm so glad you have me all figured out, Lester." Dayna gave him a fake smile and snottily took a sip of her ice water.

"I had to eat a Hot Pocket for lunch today." Lester looked annoyed.

Dayna feigned horror. "Oh, Jesus, NO! A hot pocket! And you're _not_ still _full_?"

While I was listening to Dayna explain herself to her man, a weird thought suddenly popped into my head. I tried to shake it out, but it kept nagging at me. My mind was busy juggling the idea back and forth when the waiter finally approached our table to take our orders.

"Would you care to hear our specials for the evening?" he asked us, flipping to a clean page on his little order-taking pad. Ranger handed over his menu and grimaced. This was the first time in a very, very long time that there has been any kind of an argument or scuffle between Dayna and Lester. At least that Ranger and I knew of. Then again, their RangeMan suite is three floors below ours. Thank God for small favors. It was rumored that their sex life was of grandiose proportions.

"No, thank you," Ranger said. He looked around at the rest of us. "Are we ready to order?"

Lester handed over his menu and opened his mouth to speak, but Dayna spoke first. "I'd like the fettuccini Alfredo, extra fettuccini, extra Alfredo. Maybe you can add some shrimp to that. I'd like a Caesar salad with the dressing on the side, a half-dozen garlic rolls, and…I'll think about what I'd like for dessert while I'm eating." She smiled innocently at the waiter and handed him her menu.

Ranger and Lester and I gaped at Dayna. Now, I can pack away almost as much food as the St. Louis Rams before a big game. But hearing Dayna's order made me nauseous. And that rogue eye twitch was back.

The waiter was still writing down what Dayna had requested. He looked over his little tablet, raised his eyebrows, and turned to meet Lester's embarrassed gaze. "Um…I'll just have the chicken parmesan," he said to the waiter. "And water's fine."

No one spoke until the waiter had left, after taking mine and Ranger's orders. Lester, as usual, was the first to break the silence. "Sweetie," he began cautiously, turning to his wife. "Are you sure you're going to be able to eat all of that?"

Dayna fidgeted in her seat and toyed with the spaghetti straps of her black cocktail dress. "That did seem like a lot of food," she said finally. "Maybe I'll tell him to hold the shrimp."

"And the salad, and the rolls…" muttered Lester. Luckily for him, Dayna didn't hear that last comment because she was busy scanning the dessert menu for some type of cheesecake or tiramisu. If she _had _heard him, Lester probably would have had to ride back to Haywood with Ranger and I.

I nudged Ranger and mouthed, "Do you think so?" to him. He discreetly pointed to his abdomen to clarify and then he nodded. Yep. Something strange was going on with Dayna Marrero-Santos. And I suspected I knew _exactly_ what it was.

"So, your parents are coming to visit in a few weeks," I said to her. Dayna nodded and sipped her ice water. "That should be fun."

"Yeah, they haven't been to New Jersey in years. Lester and I will probably take them around to some places. They want to go to the Jersey shore, and to New York City. So we'll see."

"I'm just glad they like me," Lester said. "I was worried there for awhile, before the wedding."

Dayna pulled Lester's hand up to her lips and kissed it. "Baby, they love you. I told you they would."

"Santos is good with parents," Ranger spoke up. "He's got a gift."

Lester beamed. "And I didn't even have to tell them I'm distantly related to Jennifer Lopez."

Ranger was mid-sip when Lester said that, and nearly choked on his water. "You're still doing that, Santos? You maniac. Your _cousin _Jennifer's maiden name was Ramirez before she married Javi. And I hate to break it to you, but there are thousands of people in this world named Jennifer Lopez."

"Whatever, bitch. I'm related to Jennifer Lopez. Doesn't matter that it's not the right one. Who are _you_ related to?"

"I'm actually related to Ricardo Carlos Manoso. That guy you used to work for." Ranger smirked.

"I have nothing even close to a response to say back to that."

When the food came, we all dug right in. The tension lifted and we ate and laughed and ate some more. Towards the end of the meal, my cell phone rang from inside my shoulder bag. I stuck my head inside and rooted around in the bottom, trying to locate the ringing to make it stop. My eyes fell on a white plastic-wrapped package lying near my phone. What the…damn! It was Lula's bonus pregnancy test. I stared at the test kit for so long that the phone's ringing had stopped by then, but I was still staring. I suddenly got an idea, but I wasn't sure how crazy it would turn out to be unless I went for it.

"Babe?" Ranger's voice broke me out of my stupor. I snapped my head out of my purse and met the curious eyes of everyone else at the table.

"Sorry," I said. "I – I must have been daydreaming." I clutched my shoulder bag to my chest and glanced at Dayna's plate of fettuccini. Surely she'd be done with her dinner by now. She had eaten most of the shrimp Alfredo, some of the salad, and a garlic roll. She looked a little green.

"I think I'll excuse myself for a minute or two," Dayna said. Bingo. She pushed her chair back and prepared to stand.

"You okay, baby?" Lester asked her.

Dayna nodded. "Nature's calling, that's all." She stood up and placed her linen napkin next to her plate. It was now or never. I quickly got to my feet with my shoulder bag still clutched to my chest.

"I'll go with you," I exclaimed. I took Dayna by her arm and dragged her into the ladies' room across the restaurant, ignoring the curious stares of our guys behind us. When we were both safely locked inside, I set my shoulder bag on the counter and turned to face Dayna.

"Steph, you're scaring me," Dayna said warily. "Why are your eyes so wide?"

"In my shoulder bag is a pregnancy test," I informed her quietly. "I think you should take it."

Dayna laughed out loud and it echoed in the tiny, ostentatiously-tiled restroom. "What are you talking about? Why do you think I'm pregnant? I'm on the pill."

"Well, because of all the eating and the cravings and generally alternating between being snotty and normal," I said. "Look, it couldn't hurt. If you aren't, then you aren't. If so, then you get the added bonus of telling Santos right before he fucks your brains out tonight. He'll have a stroke!" I clasped my hands together with barely-controlled glee.

Dayna looked thoughtful. "I'm next to positive he'd be happy," she said. "We just weren't planning to have a baby so soon, though. But what do I do if I am, Steph? I don't know the first thing about kids! I have no nieces or nephews; I'm an only child…"

"You'll be fine. You're a nurse, for crying out loud. You have to know _something_ about children," I pointed out.

"The only thing I know is that I hated my pediatrics rotation in nursing school. And it wasn't because of the kids: it was because of their dumbass parents."

Strange, because I knew exactly what she meant and I was no nurse. "The guys'll be wondering what's taking us so long, so just do the test. It won't take long." I grabbed my shoulder bag and removed the test kit.

Sighing, Dayna took it into the largest bathroom stall with her and locked herself in. "I hope I'm doing this right," she called to me. "I've never taken one of these before. I mean, I've given them to my patients to take, but I've never actually seen them using it."

"Never had a boyfriend?" I ventured. I found that hard to believe. She was sex on legs.

"Of course I have, Steph. Although not many. Lester's the only guy I've been with…unprotected."

Hunh. "That's probably really smart of you." Damn. I wish I'd have thought of that. I'd taken countless pregnancy tests when Morelli and I were dating and even a few panicky ones while I was married to The Dick. None with Ranger, though. Probably because on some level I _wanted _him to get me pregnant. It was a weird, erotic thought. I shivered.

Dayna was silent for a couple of minutes and then I heard her begin to go on the stick. _"Crap,"_ she exclaimed after a few seconds.

"Pee on yourself?"

"Yeah."

I waited while she cleaned herself up and flushed the toilet. The stall door opened and Dayna wiggled out, carrying the test stick.

"I'm afraid to look at it," she said. She handed it to me with shaky hands before heading to the sink to wash them. Stephanie Plum-Manoso, Pregnancy Test Protagonist.

I set the stick on the counter and covered it with a paper towel. "We'll wait the three minutes," I told her. "Just to be safe." Dayna dried her hands and leaned up against the wall. Ten seconds of deafening silence passed.

"Can we just check it now, Steph? I can't wait any longer."

The test stick was still covered with the paper towel. I whipped the towel off and my heart flipped inside my chest when I saw two pink lines, shining bright and clear from the test stick's results window. It confirmed my doomed fate that my precious baby daughter might someday be hit on by Lester Santos's possible future playboy of a son.

I couldn't stop the grin from spreading across my face. Dayna stared at me with her eyebrows furrowed and a weird smile. "Is that test…positive?"

"Yep. Positive as hell."

Dayna blew out a sigh and, with a huge wavering smile, reached for me tearfully. We squeezed the living daylights out of each other for a few seconds and I felt the waterworks spring into my eyes.

"I have no idea what to think right now, but only a small part of me is actually scared. The rest of me is...excited." Dayna raised her eyebrows and blotted a couple of gray tears out of the corners of her mascaraed eyes with a tissue.

"You'll be fine. Lester'll be an awesome dad. You guys will be great parents."

"Thanks, Steph," Dayna said, tearfully folding me back into another hug. "Can you believe it? Me _and _Lula. Our babies might be born in the same month! The guys'll be really happy."

"I know they will," I told her. "How are you going to tell Lester?"

Dayna sighed thoughtfully. "I seriously have no idea."

* * *

Dayna and I composed ourselves before heading back to the table. We put on fresh mascara and applied lip gloss. We fluffed our hair. Our waiter had cleared the plates and had packaged Dayna's leftover garlic rolls in a take-out container. Lester's eyes lit up when he saw his wife approach the table, and Ranger's eyes took on a bedroom quality when I took my seat next to him.

"Babe," he mumbled, sliding his arm across the back of my chair and leaning in close to me. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," I said, a little more breathless than I'd intended to sound. "Did you settle the bill?"

Ranger nodded. "Let's get out of here."

Lester helped Dayna out of her chair and she and I exchanged giddy little smiles. Together, we all walked out to the parking lot and stood around in the cool nighttime air.

"Well, that was fun," I told everybody.

"We should do this kind of stuff more often," Dayna spoke up. We all nodded and agreed. Just then, Lester's cell phone rang from his pocket and he pulled it out to answer it.

"Santos..._**what?**_...you're kidding…that's awesome, man! Congratulations!" Lester put his hand over the iPhone's mouthpiece. "Bobby and Ana are having a baby!" He turned his attention back to Bobby on the other line. "How far along is she…you'll find out Monday?...that's great, dawg. We're all happy for you guys...Dayna, Steph, Ranger...Vegas?...dude, just think it over first…call me if anything. Peace." Lester hung up and grinned.

"Brown's going to be a father?" Ranger questioned incredulously. "And Tank. Jesus. Two-thirds of my right-hand crew will be ankle-deep in fucking diapers eight months from now." He hugged me to his side and the scent of his Bulgari nearly drew me to my knees on the concrete.

"Three thirds," Dayna blurted out. Everyone stopped cold. She clapped a hand over her mouth and her eyes flew open wide. The silence was deafening and nobody moved. Lester finally found his legs and stalked over to where Dayna stood and took her face in both of his hands. He gazed deep into her eyes for several seconds before speaking.

"What did you say?" he demanded quietly. My breath hitched in my throat and I felt Ranger tighten his grip on my waist in anticipation of Lester's reaction. Was he going to be angry? I prayed not. Lester wasn't that type of guy. My breathing ceased and all I could think about was how frightened Dayna must have been feeling at that exact moment.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered to him, on a shaky breath.

Time stood still. Crickets chirped. The world seemed to stop turning. And Dayna Marrero-Santos had just told her husband of one month that she was expecting their baby just minutes after finding out for herself.

"Lester, say something," Dayna quietly pleaded to him, near tears, glancing back at Ranger and I.

Then slowly, _slowly_, a smile of gargantuan proportions spread across Lester's face and reached his eyes. "I love you."

Dayna let out a small sob of happiness, and Lester crushed her to his front and pressed his lips to hers. Ranger immediately strode over to Lester and yanked him into a hug, and I gathered Dayna into my arms and squeezed her tightly before releasing her back to Lester.

"You guys," I sniffled. What was with all my crying tonight? "This is so great!" I felt Ranger come up behind me and wrap me in his arms.

"I almost feel left out," Ranger said with a hint of a smile.

"You guys already have a baby," Lester pointed out. "Give somebody else a chance to be in the parenting hot seat." He hugged Dayna to him and started to rub her still-flat belly.

"How are you feeling about all this so far?" I asked Dayna, figuring I already knew the answer since she'd told me in the bathroom earlier.

"Scared, nervous, excited, all of the above." She laughed. "I was more worried about how this one would take it, though." She gestured towards Les.

"Why, baby? I can't believe you even thought I wouldn't be happy about this. I'm just a little bit surprised, that's all." Lester kissed Dayna's temple.

"I know what you mean. It's so soon after our wedding, Les. We haven't even started paying that off yet!"

"Hey. That's what credit cards are for," Lester said. He looked Dayna in the eye again. "Baby, I have never been happier in my life. I'm going to be here for you through _everything_. Okay?"

"Okay." Dayna leaned up and kissed him. "Thank you. I love you, too."

I was starting to get a toothache from all the sugary sweetness going on between them. "Well, I guess we'd better let you guys go…celebrate," I said to Lester.

"I'd better be careful not to get her pregnant again," Lester said, with a wicked grin.

"Um…Les?" I said. "Scientifically impossible."

He shook his head. "I know. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Bye, you guys. Congratulations!" I yelled after them, as Lester loaded Dayna into his Escalade and tore out of the Rossini's parking lot. I turned to Ranger. His bedroom eyes were back and his evil smile was a force to be reckoned with. He led me over to his black Denali and helped me into the passenger's seat before climbing behind the wheel.

Before he started the truck, Ranger turned to me and took my face in his hands. "Are you handling this all okay, babe?" He stroked his thumb across my cheek and studied me with eyes so dark they were like pools of black ink.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I told him. "I think it's pretty interesting that three of your men found out that they were going to be fathers within a span of two days, that's all."

Ranger chuckled lightly. "There was something in the water that night, I guess. Maybe they all got pregnant on the night of Dayna and Lester's wedding reception," he joked. "The floor we were on _was _pretty busy that evening."

"No," I scoffed. "That's not scientifically possible. Besides, I'm the only one out of the four of us girls who didn't get pregnant. Why am I excluded from this?"

"Would you like me to change that?" Ranger grumbled against my lips. God, yes I wanted him to change that. Wait. Did I? Were we ready for another one? I wasn't sure. And what was with me being "scientifically correct" on everything tonight? I was starting to sound like Bill Nye the fucking Science Guy.

It took me a second to regain my composure after the lip lock Ranger had just laid on me. He chuckled again when he saw that I was fighting yet another mental battle and started the SUV.

* * *

"She's out," I said, quietly shutting the door to Samantha's nursery, the baby monitor in my hand. Ranger met me in the hall and swept me into his arms before hauling me into our bedroom.

"I'd like to show you a few things, babe." Ranger removed the baby monitor from my iron grip and gently placed it on his nightstand. Taking my hand, he led me over to where our large king-sized bed was situated along the far wall, facing the door. He motioned for me to climb on top of the covers and then he moved to hover over me.

"Like what?" I asked breathlessly. I drank in the dips and curves of his naked, glorious chest and torso and unconsciously licked my lips. Sometimes I had to pinch myself when I couldn't quite comprehend what a gorgeous, perfect male species I'd managed to marry and reproduce with.

Ranger gave me an almost-smile and dropped a sweet, gentle kiss on my cheek. "Like…how beautiful you look when I do _this_," he mumbled. When he said _this_, he brushed his calloused thumb across my nipple and planted a hot, open-mouthed kiss just below my ear. Sweet melting sensations coursed through me and a flash of fire swept across my innermost place. I whimpered.

I snapped out of it. "I would need a mirror. Besides, I'm due to get my period any second, Ranger," I told him huskily. "I'm like...clockwork." Damn Mother Nature!

"_Querida_...you know that doesn't bother me." Ranger continued to torture my breast with his warm lips until the involuntary rocking of my hips against his caught my attention.

"I know, but -

"Babe. Just relax, and let me show you how much I love you and how blessed I feel that you've chosen me as your husband." Ranger did something to my pulse point with his tongue that scrambled my neurons and shut down all logical thought for the rest of the evening.

Things kind of unraveled from there. Sane, angelic Stephanie should have blushed at the idea of all those naughty Ranger thoughts that were running through her head. Wicked Stephanie didn't care much for thoughts. Wicked Stephanie wanted some action. I rolled Ranger over onto his back and straddled his lean hips, reveling in the way his fingertips dug into my soft hips and loving the whispered oaths in Spanish under his breath as I sank down onto his massive length. Tonight, like every other night, was all about us.

I would never, ever get tired of this man. Each evening, he lit a fire under his every caress and swept a path of annihilation across my body with his tongue and hands. And each evening, I reminded him how beautiful he made me feel and how much I loved him, and how much it meant that he chose _me _as his wife. Every time I hear our daughter's little voice, or listen to her little cries, I'm reminded that Ranger was the only man that I'd ever truly and deeply loved enough to have children with. And a life with.

Ranger raked his hand through my curls and brought my face down to his. "You are so beautiful," he mumbled against my lips. "I wish I could see you like this, with me inside you, every second of every day for the rest of my life." Something about his voice caused a flush of pleasure to roll over my body and I ground down onto him harder. I touched his tongue with mine and felt him surge deeper inside of me. The wave rose up and crested, carrying me higher and higher until it crashed to shore and I came, screaming his name into his neck and grasping the bedsheets in my fists as if they were my one and only salvation. The clenching paroxysms of my slick inner walls brought Ranger to orgasm and I felt him convulse beneath me, gasping my name as he brought his lips to press against mine once more.

Extreme tiredness took us over then, and I quickly threw on a super-absorbent pad and some granny panties before crawling between the sheets with Ranger and immediately falling asleep.

When I got up the next morning, Ranger was snoring lightly on his side, his short mussed hair sticking up in all directions. I tiptoed into the bathroom, expecting the worst. It was always a blood-bath on the mornings I woke up with my period. After skulking over to the sink, I bent down to the cabinet for a clean pad and had to hold my aching boobs so they wouldn't jiggle around too much. Ugh, I felt terrible.

I pulled off the granny panties and expected to find my usual heavy flow. Staring back at me was the pristine white cotton pad, completely untouched and looking as though I'd just put it on.

Hunh. That's strange.

* * *

**Sorry this chapter was so long, but it had to be! I guess I'm feeling long-winded lately. For those of you who haven't seen the MTV show _Jersey Shore, _and are wondering who Snooki is, Google her. She reminds me of a young Connie. **

**Keep those reviews coming, guys! **


	3. Baby I got your money

**Thank you to all who have decided to join me for another chapter! So something's definitely going on with Stephanie, and she's afraid to tell Ranger what's happening. Lester and Dayna, and Bobby and Ana, will find out soon if their babies are healthy. Lula and Tank have decided that "The Big Bang" was worth it, because it may have been the thing that got them to finally concieve. I appreciate all of your thoughts and encouragement on this story! **

**Happy reading, Jill**

**Caution: Rated M for language and adult situations.**

**Spoilers: Through Twelve Sharp**

* * *

"I'm sure you're fine, Steph," Dayna said to me. She sat down across from me and twisted open the cap on a bottle of water. "It happens."

Yeah, but it **never **happens to _me_. I know my body. "Do you think it could be something more serious?" I asked her. Samantha was seated on my lap and I was feeding her raisins out of a small container. She was alternating between eating a raisin and throwing one at Halosaurus, who was standing by the door across from us, on his cell. _Sorry_, I mouthed to him when a raisin hit him square in the forehead. Hal shook his head and laughed, ruffling Sam's wispy baby hair on his way out of the lounge after he'd wrapped up his phone call.

Samantha, Dayna, and I were sitting the RangeMan employee lounge on two, waiting for Lester to come back from a takedown so that he and Dayna could go to the obstetrician appointment she'd scheduled for that afternoon.

Dayna shook her head. "The only things I can think of, other than the obvious being pregnancy, are polycystic ovarian syndrome and menopause. And I'm almost certain that it's neither of those." She cocked her head to the side and peered at me. "Are you sure there's _no_ possibility that you could be pregnant?"

I thought back to last month. I'd gotten a period right after Dayna and Lester's wedding. That meant I was right on schedule and should have gotten it by now. Or maybe not, if there was some kind of a problem. "If it doesn't come today or tomorrow, I'll make an appointment with my doctor."

"It's really too soon to take a pregnancy test," Dayna pointed out.

"Yeah, I know."

"Seeing your OB/GYN would be a good thing to do if you don't get it by tomorrow. They can probably give you a more accurate pregnancy screening." Dayna took a sip of her water and waved at Samantha with a huge smile. I caught Sam's chubby little arm just as she was about to gleefully launch a raisin into Dayna's hair.

"_No_," I said to Sam. I glanced up at Dayna, who was laughing. "See what you have to look forward to?"

"What did Ranger say when you told him about this morning?" Dayna asked, quickly sobering.

I grimaced. "I didn't actually tell him yet. I just don't want to mention anything until I know what's going on first."

Dayna nodded. "That's cool. I can understand that."

The employee lounge door crashed open and Manny and Lester stormed in like guerilla soldiers on a death mission in the cocaine fields of Colombia. They were each wearing black baseball hats turned backwards on their heads, tight black tee shirts, baggy black cargoes, and SWAT-type boots. Both had Kevlar vests strapped across their chests and a Glock at their waists. Their facial expressions were set to _pissed the fuck off_ and some type of slimy-looking substance was splattered across the bottom halves of their pant legs. It looked as if Manny had also taken a slimy hit to the center of his chest.

"Chased Anderson through his fucking crack house," Lester gritted out. His cheeks were flushed red from exhaustion and anger. He stalked directly to the high-tech refrigerator in the corner and yanked out a bottle of water before chugging the entire thing without stopping. Manny threw himself down into the chair next to me and set to work removing the slime from his pants with a thick wad of paper towels. Samantha had ceased fire of her raisin missiles and was now staring up at Manny with her huge brown baby eyes, probably wondering if he'd be a good raisin-bomb target.

Dayna was frozen to her seat as she stared at her husband in horror. "Lester…what the hell is all over both of you guys' pants?"

Lester gave a bark of sarcastic laughter and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "I have no fucking clue." He removed a roll of Bounty from a cabinet and unwound about seventy sheets. "But we're thinking that it's some type of fruit preserves."

Manny looked up and nodded. "I finally got the balls to smell it just now, dawg. Grape jelly." He held up his purple paper towels to prove his point.

"How did you – why did you – what?" I asked. Lester dabbed at the mess covering the lower parts of his pant legs. Dayna got up to stand next to him and checked out the jelly mishmash.

"Anderson's usual weapon of choice is a 9 mm Beretta. That's why we went in there prepared." Les nodded towards the layer of Kevlar covering Manny's front and back. "I'm guessing that since he didn't know Pacheco and I would be paying him a visit this morning, he had no time to locate his pistol. So the asshole settled for lobbing globs of breakfast condiments at us. He's lucky I got a hold of him before he coated me with Mrs. Butterworth's." He turned towards Manny. "Sorry, man."

"Yeah," Manny muttered, wiping globs of sticky maple syrup off of his vest. I was surprised that crazy, anal Lester hadn't insisted that they disrobe before climbing into his immaculate Escalade. But two guys in bulletproof vests riding back to RangeMan without pants on wouldn't have looked good for Ranger's testosterone-loaded company.

"So Anderson's locked up down at the clink, right?" I clarified. I would have had to rethink my opinion of Lester Santos as a bounty hunter if he let Stinky Anderson slip through his fingers due to a grape jelly food fight.

Lester gave me his patented crooked grin. "Damn right." He wiped the last glob of jelly off his pants and tossed the used paper towels into the trash. His hands were all sticky and I could see purple jelly still under his fingernails. He turned to Dayna and reached for her with his hands. She squealed and ducked away, plastering her bottom up against the edge of the countertop. Lester kept his sticky hands fisted at his sides as he pressed the front of his body full-on up against hers and nuzzled her neck.

"Don't touch me," Dayna sang out, giving Lester a super-sweet smile and circling his waist with her arms.

"And how are both of my babies doing this afternoon?" he mumbled against her neck.

"We're good," she replied. "Just hungry."

"As usual." Lester paused and stared at the floor for a second. He appeared to be listening to someone speak on his two-way and he reached around to his side and hit 'talk'. "Ten-four. I'm on my way." He popped the receiver out of his ear and Dayna pulled his head back down to hers, still not allowing him to touch her perfectly-pressed lavender wrap dress with his jellied hands. Lester gripped the edges of the countertop on either side of Dayna's hips with white knuckles. He kissed her, slow and deep, and I began to wonder how she hadn't managed to get pregnant sooner.

I watched Manny get up from the table and roll his eyes at Lester. He threw his paper towels away and stood by the door, hands on hips. "Yo. Lester, man."

Lester reluctantly dragged his lips away from Dayna's and groaned in frustration. "Bossman needs me. I'll debrief with him and then we'll leave," he said to her. He moved over to the sink and lathered up his sticky hands.

"Please tell me you're not going with me to Dr. Saunders's office looking like that," Dayna exclaimed. "Lester, you smell like an IHOP!"

"Cálmate, mami. I planned on taking a shower and changing first. What time is our appointment?"

"In forty-five minutes!"

"Oh. No need to worry. I'll only be with Ranger for ten minutes at the most." Lester tossed his paper towels into the trash and he and Manny stalked out of the lounge. I turned to Dayna and we each exchanged a big Jersey eye roll. She was getting better at her Jersey eye rolls. She's tried to teach me the Miami eye roll several times, but I'm just not Latina enough to get it right.

"Guys," I lamented. Samantha started to get fussy, so I laid her down in her stroller with her pacifier and pulled a blanket up to her cheek. Her little eyelashes fluttered shut and I let out a sigh of relief. She hadn't napped all day. Stacks and stacks of medical files surrounded Dayna at the table, and she had been going through them one by one, documenting things while we talked and waited for Les. She saw me looking incredulously at all the charts.

Dayna blew out a big breath and smiled. "Whoever said that documenting nurse's notes was easy should get punched," she exclaimed. "Actually, I think it was one of my instructors in my last year of grad school who told me that."

"What are you doing all of that for?" I asked her. "Are those RangeMan employees' medical charts?"

Dayna nodded. "Your husband ordered, as a new RangeMan company policy, that the guys undergo mandatory semi-annual health screenings. You know, like vision tests and stuff like that. I've been trying to get as many of the guys finished as I can this week, so that I'm not backed up on my other work. Only the contract employees are left and I'll probably fly through them tomorrow."

"Sounds intense," I commented.

"It is. You should have seen it yesterday, though. Lester and Bobby. I swear, they share a brain. Bobby put on his shades and pretended he was Ray Charles during his eye test. He even went as far as arguing with me about why I'd bother checking a blind man's sight. Lester pretended he was deaf during his hearing test. I wanted to kill them both."

I was cracking up. "Bobby _does _do a good Ray Charles," I agreed. "One year he came to the TPD's Halloween Lock-Up as him."

"I forgot what he was this past year," Dayna said, deep in thought.

"Michael Jackson."

"Oh, yeah. Yikes."

* * *

Ranger came to the dinner table that evening dressed in full SWAT gear, complete with a Glock on one hip, a Taser on the other, and two pistols strapped to his legs. His SEALS hat was backwards on his head. The handle of a butterfly knife was sticking out of a pocket in his cargoes and he had two sets of cuffs and a stun gun strapped to his belt. He was wired with a two-way and the Kevlar strapped across his chest and back told me that he was in it for the kill. I was horrified at the sight of him, yet oh-so-very turned on at the same time.

"Where are you going?" I exclaimed. "Ella just brought dinner up!"

Ranger ignored me. He pulled me flush against the front of his body and slowly lowered his mouth to mine. He flicked his tongue over my bottom lip and groaned into my mouth when I opened for him, letting him taste the inside. My fingers involuntarily curled into the seat of his pants as he backed me against a wall in the dining room. Ranger's warm hands came around to the front of my little boxer shorts and he dipped his fingers beneath the elastic of my thong, brushing them up against my wet folds. I gasped at the contact and he captured my lips with his, thrusting his tongue deep into my mouth as two of his thick fingers found their way into my throbbing center and swept across my g-spot.

I couldn't stop the groan that escaped my throat. Ranger worked his hand within me, creating magic with his talented fingers and rubbing them against my inner walls in just the way that he knew would drive me insane with desire and pleasure. At last, I exploded around his digits and white spots danced in front of my eyelids as my lower half contracted around him. He slowly withdrew his fingers from my body and brought them up to his lips to lick them clean before burying his face in my neck to control his breathing. He pressed his groin against my belly and I felt him thick and hard and hot through his cargoes.

"Was that to distract me from your leaving?" I breathed. I didn't care. The man was _damn_ amazing.

"Babe," he mumbled against my lips. "I have to go. I don't know when I'll be back. It may not be tonight."

My heart sank. "But what if I need you?" I whispered, suddenly terrified of not having him with me in the event that there _was_ something wrong with my...girly parts.

"Call Ella first. Then call Hal or Manny if something serious comes up. And whatever you do, do NOT leave the building until I call you and tell you it's safe." Ranger kissed me quickly one last time and started towards the door. I grabbed Sam's high-tech baby monitor off the dining room table and followed him out to the elevator. He pulled me to him and held me close while we rode down to the underground garage. When the elevator doors opened, Lester's Escalade and Tank's Navigator were idling near the garage's entrance. Bobby came into view and approached the Escalade with a huge black case, probably filled with guns and assorted weapons. He set the case in the back of the SUV and slammed the trunk hatch shut just as Tank walked up to Ranger and I.

"You riding with Santos?" Tank asked Ranger.

Ranger nodded. "Take Brown with you. Make sure you have enough ammo." Lester walked up to us and did the "guy" handshake with Ranger.

"You ready?" Lester asked him, grinning. Ranger returned his smile but didn't say anything. He was ready.

Tank approached Bobby and handed him his wallet. "You left this in Control, Brown," he barked. He turned his attention to me. "Lula and Ana are upstairs in our apartment. They wanted to know if you and Dayna wanted to have a "girls night" tonight, since Ranger instructed the guys not to let any of you out of the building until you hear from one of us."

"I'll stop by to see them later," I told Tank. My heart just wasn't into a "girls night" right now.

He studied me intensely. "You gonna be okay while we're gone, Bombshell?"

"I hope so," I said quietly. I wasn't thrilled about Ranger being gone, possibly overnight, when I didn't really even know where they were headed.

Bobby was thumbing through the contents of his wallet. "Didn't I have two twenties in here? What happened to the other one?" he demanded to Tank.

Tank feigned surprise. "Sorry, Brown. It may have just slipped out," he said. He pulled a bill out of the pocket of his cargoes and waved it in Bobby's face. "Finder's fee."

"Tank, man -

"_Hey, dir-tay...baby I got your money, don't you worry...I said HEY! Baby I got your money..." _Tank sang.

Lester joined in on the second verse. "_Hey, dir-tay...baby I got your money, don't you worry...I said HEY!" _

Bobby snatched the twenty out of Tank's fingers and stuffed it back into his wallet. "Santos, you weren't even born when that song came out."

"Bull-shizzle, Bo-bizzle," Lester quipped. "I was eighteen."

"Same thing."

"I've employed a bunch of goons," Ranger muttered.

Bobby, Tank, and Lester were all dressed identically to Ranger. Between the four of them, they had eight pairs of cuffs, sixteen firearms, and four stun guns strapped to their bodies. Not to mention what was in the trunk of the Escalade. I'd be surprised if whoever they were after didn't shit their pants just from the sight of them.

The elevator opened behind us and Dayna stepped out in her jammies and a pair of fuzzy black flip flops. Her long, brown hair had been straightened and hung to her rear end in thick layers. Lester strode over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You look like you're ready for bed," he mumbled against her neck. "I really, really, really wish I could join you." He nipped playfully at her earlobe and pressed his lower body into hers, eliciting a small moan from her throat. He lifted the hem of her skimpy black tank top and pressed a hot, open-mouthed kiss directly below her navel. _Saying goodbye to the baby_, I thought. Jesus. Lester really has changed.

"Mic check," announced Bobby into his two-way. A round of 'checks' and 'heres' gruffly surfaced from the group and Ranger pulled me to him for one last kiss before climbing into Lester's truck.

"I'll be careful, I promise," Ranger told me. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me to him. He smelled _delicious _and I had a strong urge to drag him back upstairs to finish what we'd started earlier. "Take care of my baby girl. And help Dayna through this. She's not used to Santos leaving for an undetermined length of time. Especially now that she's pregnant." I nodded and glanced at Dayna, who was staring up at Lester with shining eyes and her bottom lip between her teeth as he spoke quietly to her. He kissed her passionately and I saw him mouth, "I love you" to her before he climbed up into his Escalade and slid into the butter-soft leather driver's seat.

Tank and Bobby loaded themselves into Tank's Navigator and the thump of The Game's bass suddenly rolled cleanly through the underground garage.

"Let's ride," Lester announced. He strapped on his seat belt and started tapping the finger with his platinum wedding band on it up against the open window frame to the beat of the bass booming from Tank's SUV.

Ranger pressed himself against me and dropped a kiss into my hair. "I love you, Ranger," I told him.

"And you, my babe, I love more than life itself." He kissed me deeply and pulled away before hoisting himself up into Lester's SUV and slamming the door after him.

I went up to the Escalade and stood next to the open passenger's side window. "You still haven't told us who you guys are after," I said to Ranger quietly, before Lester pulled the SUV out of the garage.

He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly before he spoke. "Remember Edward Scrog?"

My stomach dropped into a free-fall. When the clanging in my head stopped, I replied, "Yeah..."

"He's out of Rahway on parole. Good behavior. Must have had one hell of a defense attorney. Got word about an hour ago that he's not too happy with neither you or I right now."

_Shit_. And the psychos just kept piling up.

* * *

**Well, well, well. Another nutcase for Steph to add to her list. Will Ranger and the guys come back from their operation in one piece? And I know everyone is dying to find out what's wrong with Steph, and the next chapter will bring us some answers. What's worse than Scrog back in town to rain on Steph and Ranger's parade? Read on to find out!**


	4. Scrog causes trouble again

**Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews! I'm excited to be presenting you with another chapter of "Oh, Baby!" and I know it's long-awaited. Please let me know what you all think!**

* * *

"Stephanie, we've been through this," Woody said. He sounded exasperated. "No one's heard from Ranger or Lester or Tank yet. I can't let the two of you out of this garage until we get the okay-call."

"Woody, my man. You're not hearing me. Maybe I should speak Spanish to you, instead. Would that work?" I rested my elbow on the open window frame of the Carrera and leaned out of the car towards Woody.

"That wouldn't help. Besides, I'm sure the only Spanish words you know are _'taco'_ and _'burrito'_.

I was highly insulted. "I'll have you know that those aren't the only words I know," I huffed. "You forgot_ 'chimichanga' _and_ 'Yo quiero Taco Bell'_!"

"Nice try, Steph. And I see you've dragged Ms. Marrero-Santos into this little stunt of yours." Woody ducked his head down to peer at Dayna in the passenger's seat beside me and she responded with an innocent little finger wave. I was rubbing off on her. Lucy and Ethel hard at work, wreaking havoc on Ranger's Merry Men. If this got around to Ranger and Lester, we'd definitely have some 'splainin to do.

"Look, Woody," I said on a sigh. "I'm going to try reasoning with you here. You see, I've got a…feminine problem going on. I managed to schedule an emergency appointment with my doctor this morning, and he'd like to see me in about thirty minutes. His office manager was able to squeeze me into the eight-forty spot and I was even able to get Ella to watch Samantha until we return. I fully intend on making this appointment, so if you'd be so kind as to release the lever on the guard gate so that I may pass through, I won't have my expecting, hormonal sidekick here" – I threw my thumb in Dayna's direction – "burst into tears and make you so uncomfortable that you'll regret keeping us around any longer."

The grimace on Woody's face was priceless. He'd stepped back from the guard gate control panel and continued to contort his face into displeased expressions. I took that as my cue to dig around in my shoulder bag until I came up with a 9mm Beretta and aimed it at him. Dayna slipped out of the passenger's seat and ran around the car to the guard gate booth. She reached inside and hit the switch for the gate lever, ran back to the passenger's side, and leapt into the Carrera before buckling her seatbelt.

Aside from commandeering Ranger's Porsche when specifically told not to leave the building due to safety reasons, I was now holding one of his unarmed employees at gunpoint and had coaxed Lester Santos's pregnant wife to assist with one of my deceitful, hare-brained schemes.

"Thank you, Woody," I said, smiling like a kid who'd gotten away with raiding the cookie jar. I kept the gun leveled at him until I jammed the car into first and laid rubber out of the underground garage. I half-expected the National Guard or its RangeMan equivalent to come racing after us on Haywood Street, but when I looked in my rearview mirror there was nothing but regular traffic following behind.

"Jesus," Dayna exclaimed. "It's like trying to escape from Fort Knox." She glanced into the side mirror at the traffic in back of us.

"You'll get used to it," I told her. I swung the Carrera onto Hamilton and continued to rocket towards the medical office building at Helene Fuld. "I know Ranger will very likely guillotine me for this, but I can't wait any longer to find out what's going on in my uterus."

"I hear you, Steph. I'm sure they'll be able to give you some answers today," Dayna said to me. "Who are we supposed to be on the lookout for, anyway? Is it one of your former skips?"

"No. Edward Scrog. Total whackjob. He had wanted Ranger's job and life. He'd impersonated Ranger due to this grandiose delusion he'd had, and ended up kidnapping his daughter Julie and I to complete the transformation. To make a long story shot, Scrog was shot by Julie in my old apartment and survived. He's out of Rahway on early parole after doing just a few years."

"Swell," Dayna muttered. "And I'm guessing that Scrog's still pissed at you and Ranger about all that?"

"Of course. He's supposedly armed and dangerous. According to Ranger, Scrog still wants Ranger's life and a chance to get to me. And he'll harass _anyone_ who he thinks may know our whereabouts. That's why Ranger doesn't want any of us leaving until they catch him."

"Will Scrog go back to prison if they do?" Dayna asked me. I could hear the panic set into her voice, no doubt at the thought of Santos tangoing with a desperate, mentally-insane con artist.

"Not likely," I replied. "Unless he does something stupid. If the guys do end up capturing him, they'll probably keep him in the holding cell at RangeMan down by the gun locker until some more charges can be brought against him. Enough to keep him permanently locked up. In other words, they'll try to appeal Scrog's parole."

"Shit."

Dayna's teeth were chattering by this point. I was sorry I'd scared her, but the truth was the truth. I softened a bit. "Look, I'm sure everyone will stay safe. I know you're not used to Les being gone for this long without knowing if he's okay, but I'm sure he's fine. They're probably staking out some undisclosed location and can't use their cell phones because they're in hiding."

"You're right, I'm probably worrying for nothing. I'm sure he's fine." Dayna blew out a sigh and stared out the passenger's side window. I eased the Carrera into the parking lot of the Helene Fuld medical office building and lucked out with a space close to the entrance. Dayna and I grabbed our shoulder bags, puffed ourselves up, and stalked across the lot to the automatic double doors. We rode the elevator to the third floor and swung through the door to Mid-Jersey Women's Center.

"Can I help you?" the receptionist asked me politely. I smiled at her and quickly jotted my name down on the roster.

"Stephanie Plum-Manoso," I replied. "I have an eight-forty with Dr. Radcliff."

"Someone will be right with you," said the clerk.

"Thanks." I dragged Dayna toward a couple of chairs near the door, swiping a few _Star_ magazines on the way. "I can't worry if Ranger will be angry with me for leaving the building. This is more important. I'm sure he'd understand."

Dayna nodded and made a face. "I know. I mean, what are they going to do to us? Mail us to Iceland?"

We were both silent after that because we knew that could be a possibility, knowing Ranger and Lester. I grimaced.

"As long as we're careful. And if I even _suspect_ that Scrog is nearby I'll be ready to blow off his nuts with this Beretta." I patted my shoulder bag fondly.

Dayna looked up from her magazine, her eyes wide. Dayna hated guns. "You really would, wouldn't you?"

"In a heartbeat." I felt my cell vibrating on my lap. I dug it out of my shoulder bag and looked at the readout. RangeMan Control. _Crap._

"Stephanie," Hal exclaimed when I'd answered. "I've been trying to get a hold of you for twenty freakin' minutes. Where the hell are you guys? I still can't believe you held Woody at gunpoint! What's _wrong_ with you? Do you even know what Ranger and Lester will DO to us when they find out what you two have DONE? There's deranged stalker out there. He's got a bullet in his gun with Ranger's name fucking engraved on it and a fake marriage license with _your_ name engraved on it. And you and Dayna are out running the streets, acting as moving targets!"

Whoa. I'd never in my life heard Hal speak so much. He turned out to be pretty chatty when his job (and possibly his life, because Ranger may kill him for this) was on the line. I'd missed his first sixty calls because my cell was on vibrate and the Carrera's performance exhaust tended to drown out faint noises. "Chill out, Halosaurus. This isn't the first time I've driven the streets of Trenton with a madman after me. I'm already desensitized from it. Yes, Dayna is with me. We're both safe for the time being. I'm at a medical appointment and we'll be back at Haywood immediately after this."

Hal wasn't done yelling. "You both have disobeyed a direct order from Ranger. Not only are the two of you going to get reamed out by him and Santos, but now the rest of us who were supposed to be taking care of you will, too! Then again, this might be nice. It's been awhile since Ranger's cracked my skull open on the mats for fucking up. I'll be looking forward to the bill from St. Francis for my head CT scan!"

"Hal, wait -

"Forget it. Just try to get back here as soon as you can, in one piece. Maybe Ranger won't even have to know what went on this morning. Tell me your location so that I can send Manny over to your doctor's office."

Ooops, time to feign static. I was _not_ about to have one of Ranger's guys, dressed up like SWAT GI-Joe, hanging around outside the door while Dr. Radcliff inspected my cervix for abnormalities. "Hal, I'm losing you..." I made gargling noises in my throat and rubbed my finger over the phone's mouthpiece a few times for good measure. I quietly disconnected and switched my phone off.

"Good job," Dayna commended me. Her cell immediately rang with _RangeMan Control _flashing across the screen. She powered down her i-Phone and smirked.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," I told her.

* * *

The scale was standing in front of me, taunting me with its tall white height pole and big fat numbers that extended beyond 150 pounds. And Dr. Radcliff's nurse was patiently waiting for me to step on it so that she could record my weight.

"Whenever you're ready, Steph," she said to me. "Would taking off your shoes and belt help you to feel better?"

"No," I replied. "Taking off this muffin top would, though." I grabbed at the roll of bloat around my midsection to prove my point. Sighing, I stepped onto the scale and squeezed my eyes shut until the nurse had stopped inching the metal block slowly to the right. I peeked at the number and blew out a sigh of frustration. Five frickin' pounds in nearly a month. I lamented this to the nurse.

"I'll just notate that in your chart," she told me. "Can you give me a urine sample for a pregnancy test?"

I nodded. "Sure," I replied. "I just had half a bottle of tequila, so I should be good and ready to go." I stepped down off the scale and skulked over to the bathroom with my specimen cup.

"I'm sure she's kidding," I heard Dayna say to the nurse just before I shut myself inside.

* * *

Dr. Radcliff rapped lightly on my exam room door and let himself inside. "Good to see you, Steph," he greeted me. "How's Samantha?"

"Growing like a weed," I replied. "She's already eight months old."

I watched as Dr. Radcliff seated himself on his little rolling stool and opened my chart. "So, you're thinking she may be getting a brother or sister sometime soon?"

"I'm not really sure," I said, sighing. "Ranger and I aren't really trying to have another one at this point, but it's not like we're _not_ trying, you know?" I shifted uncomfortably in my paper gown.

Dr. Radcliff nodded. "I understand. Your urine pregnancy test was negative. It could be too soon to tell if there's anything going on in there, but I'd also like to rule out some other causes of your missed menstruation. Have you been having any pain or strange spotty bleeding?"

"Cramping," I replied. "No bleeding. It's only been a day or so since I missed my period, but I'm so regular that this just seems out of the ordinary for me."

"It's a good thing that you came in. Sometimes women have symptoms for something called an ovarian cyst. They're virtually harmless, but can cause quite a bit of grief for a woman who is in fine tune with her body, like yourself. Joanie will draw some blood first. Then I'll just do a quick examination and then I'd like to do an ultrasound to ensure that we're not missing anything important, okay?"

I nodded. "Sure." My stomach was in knots. What if Dr. Radcliff found something horrible on my ultrasound? If something was seriously wrong with me, how would I ever explain it to Ranger?

As soon as Joanie had finally managed to get a tube of blood from me after sticking my arm thirty times, Dr. Radcliff started his exam. He was thorough and quick, thank God. He snapped off his gloves and stood next to me.

"I really don't see any evidence of an ovarian cyst, but only the ultrasound will tell me for sure. Pat will get you set up for that, so I'll see you in a few minutes." Dr. Radcliff let himself out of the room and Pat, his other nurse, helped me into a robe-type gown and walked me next door to the ultrasound room. Dayna had been waiting outside the exam room with our purses and I motioned for her to keep me company in the ultrasound room while I waited for Dr. Radcliff to start.

"You'll be fine," Pat assured me once I was positioned on the table. "The procedure should be painless. This will give Dr. Radcliff a near-certain idea about what's going on."

"Thanks," I told Pat. She left Dayna and I alone. Dayna took a seat across from me and smiled.

"You doing okay?" she asked me.

"Yeah. I'm just worried about what Dr. Radcliff might find. And about Ranger and the guys. Are** you **doing okay? How did everything go with Dr. Saunders yesterday?"

Dayna nodded. "I'm worrying about all that, too. Dr. Saunders told Les and I that everything looks really great so far. She gave me an ultrasound and it looks like I'm only about four or five weeks."

"That's really good news." I grinned. "I bet you got pregnant on your wedding night. I'm almost certain that Ana and Lula did, too."

Dayna laughed and it tinkled across the room to me. "It _had_ to have been that night for Lester and I. I cut him off for almost three weeks before the wedding."

"I bet he _really_ wasn't happy about that," I said from my uncomfortable cocoon of stirrups and hospital gowns.

"Neither of us were. Believe me, Steph. It was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. You know how many times we came close to breaking the pact? Several times a day for the entire three weeks. It was bad."

I cracked up. "Why'd you do it, then?"

"To torture him." Dayna smiled evilly.

"And obviously it worked. You had him frustrated as hell."

"I'm glad I did that, actually. Our wedding night was _so_ amazing. It was, like, different or something. Almost as if we were doing it for the first time, you know? The frustration of the previous three weeks kind of exploded and made everything more intense. It made me realize that we'd learned so much about each other since we started dating. You should try it with Ranger sometime."

I scoffed inwardly. Dayna, bless her heart, must have thought I actually had the willpower to not have sex with Ranger for three weeks. I knew exactly how long my "strike" would probably last. Not even an hour. God, I was such a nympho.

Dr. Radcliff swung into the room and seated himself in front of the ultrasound machine. He put the ultrasound probe in me after explaining the procedure and began clacking away at the computer keyboard. Painless, my ass. The damn thing felt like a giant tampon.

A few minutes passed by and Dr. Radcliff finally spoke. "I don't see any ovarian cysts. That's great news."

"Anything else in there?" I asked warily.

He shifted the probe and pushed it a little deeper. "Hmmm...there's something small right here," he said, pointing towards a round circle on the screen. Dayna and I both leaned forward to squint at the monitor. "Let me see if I can get a better look." Dr. Radcliff studied the screen as he moved the probe in all different directions, increasing my discomfort. Several minutes went by and he finally removed the probe and sat up.

My heart was pounding. I was certain he was going to tell me I had some kind of rare form of cancer, and that I only had six to eight weeks to live. And that _maybe_ it could be cured by removing my entire female anatomy, and -

Dr. Radcliff cut off my train of doomed thoughts. He had a goofy smile on his face. "You're pregnant."

* * *

Dayna had to help me down to the elevator because my knees were too weak for me to walk on. She had both of our shoulder bags, my sack of pamphlets and vitamins, and the _Star_ magazine she'd been reading in the waiting room.

"Holy shit," I kept saying as we entered the elevator. "This is just so unbelievable!" I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face.

"How weird is this? You, me, Lula, and Ana are all pregnant. I just can't get over how ironic that is," Dayna said. "But it's totally great!" She smiled tearfully and squeezed me to her before we stepped off the elevator in the office building lobby.

I was still stunned. "This is completely unexpected, but a really wonderful surprise," I sniffled to Dayna. We got out of the elevator and made our way to the automatic sliding doors that led to the parking lot.

"I hate that we can't get a hold of Ranger until he calls you," Dayna said, disgusted. She guided me out the doors and down to the curb. "I turned our phones back on while you were in with Dr. Radcliff."

"Thanks," I told her. I couldn't believe it. I wasn't dying of anything. Nothing was seriously wrong with me. I was pregnant!

"I'm so glad you're going to be going through this with me," Dayna said. She wiped a rogue tear from her cheek. "I'm still a little nervous about all the changes I should expect soon."

"Are you going to be one of those pregnant women who only get the belly and none of the other embarrassing body fat? You know, the double chin, the swollen ankles, and the back rolls?" I muttered to her. I looked like the Michelin Man before I'd had Samantha.

Dayna laughed. "I truly hope so."

While we'd been walking and talking, neither of us noticed the big white van idling near the corner of the lot where I'd parked the Carrera. I remoted the car doors unlocked from four spots away and before Dayna and I had a chance to split up and seat ourselves inside, the white van squealed to a stop behind us and the sliding door crashed open. Two men in Halloween masks jumped out and wrestled Dayna and I into the van before slamming the door shut and taking off.

"Stephanie Plum," Edward Scrog snarled as soon as I was seated roughly on the floor of the van. "I've been hoping to run into you." Beside me, Dayna was trembling with fear and her eyes were big and watery. The two goons in the masks revealed their faces and trained two AK-47s on both Dayna and I.

"Let her go," I demanded to Scrog as he tied my hands behind my back. My throat was clogged with fear and tears threatened to start falling any second. "She doesn't have any part of this. Besides, she's pregnant."

"Why, so she can run directly to the fuzz? Nice try, my love. But it's good to see that you're still just as beautiful as ever. Soon we'll be together again so that our life can start. I've already chosen a wedding gown for you."

"I'm already married to someone else!" I snapped. "Too late!" Geez, this guy was seriously delusional. Fat tears rolled down Dayna's face and she was holding her belly protectively. The guilt I had for asking her come to the appointment with me was overwhelming and I started to sob.

Scrog slid the back of his hand down my cheek affectionately and I cringed away from him. "Don't you touch her!" Dayna hollered to him tearfully, her voice echoing in my ears. Scrog motioned for one of his cronies to silence Dayna and they tied her hands behind her back and a bandanna over her mouth.

The van was hauling ass through Trenton proper and, through my tears, I could see buildings and skyscrapers passing by the van windows at warped speeds. When we turned onto Stark Street, my stomach flip-flopped. I could only imagine where he was taking us. Scrog yelled for his driver to stop in front of a dilapidated warehouse on the north end of Stark, down by the river. The van pulled under the overhang of the warehouse and squeaked to a stop in front of two padlocked double doors.

"Thank you, Miguel," Scrog said to the driver. Scrog and his two mindless idiots hustled Dayna and I out of the van and gathered up our bags that they'd thrown in after we were abducted. They walked us up to the padlocked doors and Miguel roared off in the van, leaving the street in front of the warehouse once again completely deserted. The air horn of a diesel freight train could be heard off in the distance, along with the rush of traffic up and down Route One not far away.

Scrog unholstered his gun and shot the padlock off of the double doors. "Bring them inside," he instructed his goons. They each grabbed hold of Dayna and I and shoved us towards a darkened office off the front bay of the warehouse. When we were inside, one of them flicked on a dim overhead light and removed our wrist ties and Dayna's bandanna.

"What are you going to do with us?" Dayna demanded to Scrog once she was able to talk out loud again.

"You're a mouthy one," Scrog said with a laugh as he pressed his body up against Dayna's front. He stroked her hair back from her face and brought her left hand up to meet his view. "This is a nice rock. Such a shame that whoever put this on your finger may never see you again." Dayna choked back a hysterical sob and yanked her hand from Scrog's grip.

"Why don't you go fuck yourself?" she spat out angrily through her tears. I'd never heard Dayna talk like that before. It scared me almost as much as my fate with Scrog. If we both made it out of this alive, I was next to certain that she'd need therapy.

Scrog laughed evilly. "That's all right. I've got Stephanie for that from now on. Right, baby?" Scrog turned his attention to me and gave me a sick and demented sexual glare. "I've got your purses and your little prenatal pills. You won't be needing those, anyway," he said sadly to Dayna. She lunged after him but was held back by one of Scrog's idiots.

"Those are MY prenatal vitamins," I growled to Scrog. "We're **both** pregnant. Still want me after finding out that information?"

Scrog's eyes lit up. "Oh, a new baby for us. So we'll have Julie, and Samantha, and a new little addition. Hopefully it'll be a boy to carry on the Manoso family name." He smiled another sick smile.

"You'd better leave my daughters alone," I said, my voice low and threatening. "So help me..."

"Why don't the two of you wind down a little bit in here? I want you ready for this evening." With that, Scrog and his two goons exited the small dingy office and slammed the door behind them, locking it afterwards. Fuck. Dayna was sitting on a broken desk chair, sobbing her eyes out. I felt like pond scum for inflicting all of this on her. I was such a doofus for endangering both of our lives and the lives of our unborn children. I should have waited until Ranger came back with Scrog before going to an appointment outside of the security of the RangeMan building. But it was too late for guilty 'should-haves'. I needed to face the music and keep the "four" of us alive.

"I'm so sorry, Dayna," I said, kneeling down to her level and hugging her to me.

"Don't be, Steph," she sniffed. "I'm just glad that you don't have to go through this alone." Dayna squeezed me tightly and let out another loud sob.

About a half hour passed by and I had been hearing Scrog talk to his goons out in the warehouse bay. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but every now and then one of them would let out a bark of laughter that echoed throughout the little office. Dayna was sitting quietly in the broken desk chair. Every now and then, she'd burst into fresh tears and twist the wedding band and diamond on her left hand, no doubt missing Lester like crazy and wondering if she'd ever see him again. My heart broke into pieces for her. I, on the other hand, had the cog wheels in my brain working to try to find a way out for us. I'd been kidnapped and held hostage so many times that I could write a best-selling book on how to escape from deranged madmen.

There were two windows above the door to the office. They were dirty and cracked, but they were still glass windows. Bingo. I quietly dragged the desk in the corner over to the door and climbed on top to peer out the window. Sure enough, Scrog and his two cronies were hanging out in the warehouse bay, chatting and laughing. One of Scrog's guys had a cigarette between his lips. They had the contents of our shoulder bags dumped out onto a small table between them. Dayna dried her tears and approached me on the desk.

"Should we wait until they leave and then break the window?" she whispered.

I shook my head. "They're not going anywhere. We're going to have to try to outrun them in order to get to the doors."

"They'll catch us right as we climb out of the window," Dayna pointed out. "Is there anything in here for us to use to try and hurt them?"

I was quiet for a minute as I took a survey of the office. Two three-ring binders sat on a shelf in the metal credenza near the corner. A couple of pens were laying on the floor near the credenza. A broken computer keyboard, a rusted filing cabinent, and a plastic desktop file rack were the only remaining objects I could see. I quietly climbed off of the desk and went over to the three-ring binders. The metal rings of one were detaching from the cardboard folder. I ripped the three-inch-diameter rings the rest of the way off the binder and clicked the piece open so that the split rings stuck out in six dangerous-looking spikes.

"This might work," I whispered, showing Dayna my creation. Her eyes lit up and she immediately went for the plastic desktop file rack. She busted the file rack into pieces over her knee and selected the longest, sharpest piece from the pile on the floor. "Good thinking," I told her.

"If we climb out the window, they'll for sure be there to get us when we drop down. If we have these weapons, we can at least try our best to deter them until we can hit the double doors." Dayna's hair was hanging in her face and she had black tear tracks running down her cheeks from her mascara.

"Fine," I hissed. "I'll break the window and go first, since this thing here might do the most damage. You crawl out after me and distract them, and then we'll both run for the doors. Got it?" I took off my jacket and wrapped it around my hand so that I could punch out the window. Dayna nodded and together we both climbed up on the desk. I peered out the window at Scrog.

He hadn't changed much since I saw him last. He'd only been out of prison for a couple of days, but he still looked eerily like Ranger. His hair had been newly cut short like Ranger's, not long and slicked back into a ponytail like it used to be. He was still somewhat tanned but I assumed that was his natural coloring since his mother was Puerto Rican. He was wearing black SWAT-type clothing and boots, along with a full utility belt and gun.

I held my covered fist up to the window and got ready to break it. Dayna was holding her breath as I brought my arm back and she let it whoosh out as my fist smashed completely through the window, shattering the glass into a million pieces that rained down on us. Scrog and his cronies began yelling and I watched through the now-open window as they ran for the door to the office, but they couldn't get it open because I'd shoved the desk behind it. Somebody swore roundly and it sounded like Scrog. Dayna was screaming hysterically beside me and I yanked her off the desk with me so that I could push it closer up to the door. Scrog and his men were banging on the door for all they were worth and Dayna and I climbed back onto the desk and stared down at them.

"Quick, get me a chair so I can climb through the window," Scrog hollered to one of his cronies. I took that opportunity to launch the three-ring binder's prongs at the guy through the open window and managed to hit him in the back of the head, knocking him down to the floor. "Fuck!" Scrog exclaimed.

"Having trouble?" I yelled down at him.

"You'll pay for this," Scrog screamed up at me.

To everyone's complete surprise, the metal front doors of the warehouse were slammed open and Ranger, Bobby, Tank, and Lester burst inside, each with two guns drawn. Sirens wailed in the background. Everyone began yelling at once. Tank opened fire and managed to sink a bullet from his Sig into one of the goons' legs, causing him to fall to the ground and drop his weapon before Tank trussed him up with shackles. Lester took care of the other goon, wrestling him to the ground and cuffing his hands behind his back.

Scrog was aiming the barrel of his nine directly at Ranger, who was aiming the barrel of _his_ nine directly at Scrog. Tank and Lester kept glancing up at Dayna and I through the window, but were reluctant to move in case Scrog went nutso and started shooting. My heart was in my throat and I felt Dayna's hand grasping my arm with an iron grip.

"You have my life," Scrog shouted to Ranger, his voice cracking and the gun shaking. "You have everything I want! I'll kill you and take it all for myself. I deserve it! I spent three years in prison plotting this day. And you ruined it for me. You and your pregnant little sweetheart up there!" Scrog shook his gun towards Dayna and I before retraining it on Ranger.

Confusion registered across Ranger's face as he stared up at me, his gun still focused on Scrog. "Pregnant..." He focused his gaze back on Scrog.

"That's right," Scrog exclaimed. "I told her earlier that I hope it's a boy so that he can carry out the Manoso family name. Now, put your gun down so that I can shoot you. Go on, do it!" He became increasingly hysterical and the gun was now shaking uncontrollably in his hands. Ranger ignored his commands.

With an outraged scream that a WWE wrestler would have envied, Edward Scrog began to empty his clip into Ranger for the second time in three years. Dayna and I clutched each other and cried out in extreme terror as we watched Ranger go down like a sack of sand onto the dusty warehouse floor. When Scrog's clip was empty, Lester stalked up behind him and shot him through the back of the neck with his Sig, severing his spinal cord and killing him instantly. Tank ran over to the office door and motioned for Dayna and I to come down off the desk so he could let us out. Dayna ran directly into Lester's waiting arms and I joined Bobby and Tank at Ranger's side just as the paramedics barged into the warehouse with their stretcher and resuscitation equipment.

Scrog's hands had been shaking so badly that he'd only managed to get two bullets out of the entire clip into Ranger. Ranger had taken one bullet to the thigh and the other to the shoulder. He was lucky, but the bullet that had tore through his shoulder damaged an artery and he was quickly losing blood. His face was pale and he was cool to the touch as I knelt down beside him and took his hand in both of mine.

"Babe," he gritted out, peering at me intensely as the paramedics began to cut away his clothing and unstrap the Kevlar from his chest. "Is what Scrog said true?"

I let out a sob and clutched Ranger's limp hand to my heaving chest. Ranger's eyelids slid shut before I got the answer out.

"Yeah," I replied tearfully. His eyes didn't re-open and I wondered if he actually heard me.

"He's out, honey," Beth Griswald, the on-duty paramedic that was working on Ranger said to me. "He didn't quite get that answer."

They clicked the stretcher upright and prepared to wheel Ranger out to the waiting ambulance. He would need surgery again, but nothing was too difficult for Batman to overcome. He was going to be okay.

* * *

**TBC...Sorry for all of the angsty stuff lately! Lol At least Scrog is out of the picture for good (thanks to Les) and everyone can get back to their lives and start the healing process. Next chapter: The RangeMan wives' pregnancies are in full-swing as the hormones, cravings, and nausea begin to set in ten-fold. Steph and Ranger get some shocking yet exciting news regarding Grandma Mazur. Dayna sends Lester on a crazed, cross-town witch hunt for a specific type of salad dressing. Bobby and Ana do the unthinkable and Lula finally takes Tank up on his offer of a new vehicle. Stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	5. Lester's Mission

**A little housekeeping first...if I haven't gotten to thank you individually for your reviews, I do apologize! I appreciate and look forward to every single one of them. I've been having writer's block with this story but hopefully it has ended. I'm not quite sure where I want this story to go and it is a constant struggle for me to figure that out. But I'm coping! Your feedback and encouragement are greatly appreciated! Thank you all for your continued reviews and kind words. I hope everyone enjoys the upcoming weekend. --Jill**

* * *

The coffee that was sitting in the surgical waiting room's industrial-sized urn had probably been made earlier that morning and was now burnt, but that fact didn't deter me from pouring myself a cup of decaf. I figured I could fool my body into thinking it was regular, just to stay awake, but as I sipped the brown sludge I soon realized that no amount of trickery was worth the God-awful taste. Eat your heart out, Starbucks. Yeah, right.

I was sure the face I made as I swallowed could have gotten me a prize on America's Funniest Videos, but where the hell were a camcorder and Tom Bergeron when you needed them? A dark shadow loomed up behind me as I poured the horrendous coffee down the sink drain and tossed my Styrofoam cup.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Lester quietly demanded in my ear. I felt his iron grip on my upper arm increase as he slowly backed me away from the refreshments counter and into a corner of the waiting room. I turned to face him and noted that he'd gone home to shower and had returned to the hospital in baggy blue jeans, a red Polo shirt, and red Nike Shoxx. His hair was gelled into thick spikes and the look on his face proclaimed that he was clearly pissed. No doubt at me. I felt like slug slime.

"Lester, I'm so sorry," I began. He held up a hand to stop me.

"I know that I've gone with you to chase down your desperados for _more_ than my fair share of the time. I've even let Bugaloo Riley use my own Taser on me just for shits and giggles after he announced to us that the only way he'd even _consider_ going back to jail was if we'd let him fire the damn thing. And the blind date that you'd set me up on two months before I met my wife? Yeah, your friend Amber. Who turned out to be a stripper for lesbian bachelorette parties?"

"Lester –

"After all of those things I've done for you and believe me, that's only just a few of them. You ignored the one thing that me and the guys had asked you to do. How hard was it for you to stay in the goddamned building, Stephanie? First, you hold Woody at gunpoint and then hang up on Hal. And, as icing on the cake, you drag my pregnant wife into your little Houdini escape scheme. She had no idea how dangerous the conditions outside were because she trusts you, Steph. We _all _trusted you to help keep everybody safe in the building until Scrog had been found. You're carrying my best friend's child, for Christ's sake. If anything were to have happened to you or to Dayna or to the babies, I don't know what the fuck I'd do with myself." Lester's voice began to crack. Shit. And cue Stephanie's hormonal waterworks.

I stood in front of Lester with my head down and fat tears rolling down my cheeks. Every word he'd said was right on the money and I painfully knew it. He sighed and crossed his huge arms over his chest. I was slowly but surely wearing him down. The Merry Men hated criers.

"I don't know what to say," I blubbered. Swell. I sounded like a big, slobbering oaf.

He was quiet for a few moments before speaking softly. "Just…don't say anything, Steph. I'm sorry. I had to get that out. We all figured that one of us needed to yell at you and since Ranger's getting bullets picked out of his limbs at the moment, I decided I'd better be the one to do it before he recovers and mails you to the South Pole to think about what you've done." Lester smiled and I weakly returned his grin through my tears.

"Actually, Dayna and I were thinking you'd send us to Iceland."

"Nope. The climate there isn't harsh enough for punishment."

That got another grin out of me. Lester unfolded his arms and stepped closer to me before wrapping them around my shoulders. He placed a kiss on top of my messy curls and I momentarily forgot I was crying into his shirt and concentrated briefly on trying to decide, between him and Ranger, whose cologne smelled more orgasmic.

I was leaning more toward Lester's when I heard him ask, "Have they brought Ranger into his room yet?" He released me from his arms and extracted his cell from a front pocket of his jeans.

"Yeah," I sniffed, stepping back and dabbing at the corners of my eyes with a cocktail napkin. "He's in room 3126."

"Let me call Tank." Lester put his phone up to his ear and absentmindedly began wandering around the small waiting room while he waited for Tank to answer. I took that moment to slip down the hall and into Ranger's darkened room. Through the light filtering in from the hallway, I saw that he'd been heavily bandaged and heavily sedated. He was breathing oxygen through a thin tube under his nose and a saline IV drip ran into his left hand. He looked so peaceful, lying there slumbering like a newborn. I knew he wouldn't feel too great when he woke up.

"Babe," he mumbled hoarsely. His eyes were still shut and if I hadn't been staring dumbly into his face, I'd have missed it.

"Ranger, you're up," I said, my eyes filling with tears and my stupid throat clogging right up. I couldn't remember being this emotional while I was pregnant with Samantha, but then again Ranger had managed to stay out of the path of ammo during those nine months. I bent over his bed and pressed my lips to his scruffy cheek.

He tried to raise his right arm, the one they'd just operated on, but was caught off-guard by a jolt of intense pain. He grimaced and an agonized grunt tore from his throat. "Too soon," he said more to himself than to anyone else.

Thick tear drops dripped down my face and landed on Ranger's hospital gown. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you," I whispered. "I feel so horrible."

"Babe," Ranger began. His eyes were now open and he was staring at me with so much love that my heart splintered. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"Lester already reamed me out," I told Ranger as I took his good hand in my own. "We're cool now, though. Dayna had to get an ultrasound earlier because of the stress of being kidnapped, but they told her everything was still fine." I sniffed and wiped my wet cheek on my tee shirt sleeve.

"Good," Ranger mumbled. "Is our daughter okay?"

"My parents have her. I think my mother said she'd bring her up a little later, after the Feinstein viewing. Open casket."

Ranger nodded knowingly. "I know how your grandmother likes those." He winced as he tried to shift himself towards me. "What are they giving me there?" he asked me, nodding towards the IV pole.

"Looks like some fluids," I replied, eyeing the clear plastic bag hanging over my head. "As far as pain meds go, I have no idea."

As soon as those words left my mouth, a portly nurse wearing lime green scrubs and a huge smile bustled into the room.

"Mr. Manoso," she greeted happily. "I hear you're going to be a new dad again. Congratulations." She hurried up to the IV pump that was attached to the pole and began hitting buttons.

Ranger's facial expression went from grimacing to complete shock. His eyebrows flew off his forehead and his mouth dropped open. _"What?"_

"Oh, yeah," I said, chuckling nervously. "Surprise!"

The nurse placed a small clicker into Ranger's good hand. A cord ran from the clicker to the pump on the IV pole. "Sorry if I ruined that for you," she said to me. "I overheard the big guy in the red shirt tell someone over the phone, out in the hall." Lester telling Tank, probably.

"It's okay," I said to the nurse. "I told him earlier, but I don't think it registered then. He'd just gotten shot."

Ranger wiggled the clicker questioningly. "What's this?" he asked the nurse.

"Press that if you feel the need for pain medication. Don't worry. No matter how many times you hit it you won't overdose." With one last smile, she hurried out of the room.

"Good to know," Ranger replied dully, stabbing the button with his thumb repeatedly. He turned to me and smiled. "Babe, we're pregnant again?"

I nodded. "You've got highly potent Bat-Sperm, I guess," I said to him. "But it was Scrog who actually ruined the moment for me, not Nurse Laser-Beam Uniform. Geez, you needed shades just to look at her outfit."

"I don't remember Scrog saying anything like that to me," Ranger admitted. "Is that why you left the building this morning? To find out for sure from Dr. Radcliff?"

"Yes," I told him. "It's confirmed. I probably got pregnant on Dayna and Lester's wedding night, just like the rest of them did."

Ranger laughed lightly, so as to not bust his newly-sewn stitches. "I'm so happy, babe."

I felt my eyes well up for the millionth time that day as he took my hand in his good one. "Me, too," I whispered, before the drugs took over and Ranger's eyelids slowly slid shut.

* * *

Out in the hall, Tank and Lula were standing in a huddle with Lester, Dayna, my mother and Samantha, Grandma Mazur, Bobby, and Ana. I approached the group and Sam immediately reached for me. I took her from my mom and kissed her cheek. I smelled chocolate on her breath.

"Okay, spill it! Who gave her junk food this late?" I demanded, looking from my mother to Grandma Mazur, who suddenly seemed fascinated by a rolling laptop cart. Silence. After a few moments, I blew out a resigned sigh. It just wasn't worth it.

"How'd the surgery go?" Bobby asked me.

"It went well," I replied. "But he's on one of those continuous narcotics pumps, so he gets Happy Juice each time he presses the button. He's out like a light right now."

My mother was looking at me with a dopey smile and tears in her eyes. She pulled me into a tight hug and placed a loud, smacking kiss on my cheek. "I just heard," she blubbered. "And I'm thrilled. Of course, finding out tonight after Ranger's accident was bittersweet, but this is just so wonderful."

Grandma Mazur was next to hug me. "Way to go," she said. "You and the hot bounty hunter, making more pretty great-grandchildren for me to hug and kiss to pieces." She winked at me and I did a half-smile, half-grimace as she pinched Samantha's chubby cheek.

"You have to stop calling him that," I told her. "He's your grandson-in-law. And it's okay to say "Ranger" to your friends, not "Rambo."

"Sure, I knew that."

Dayna yawned and Lester hugged her into his chest. "I guess I'd better get the lil' mama here to bed," he said, nodding towards Dayna. "It's been a really long day for all of us. I don't think I've slept in forty-eight hours."

Ana hugged me and kissed my cheek. "Congratulations, you guys," she said, her springy curls bouncing. "Tell Ranger we all came to see him and that we're hoping for the best."

"I will," I told her. Bobby folded me into his huge arms and tugged my ponytail.

"Get some rest, white girl," Lula said. She slung an arm around my shoulders. "Call if you need anything."

Samantha's head was on my shoulder and I could hear her breathing even out as she fell asleep in my arms. I watched the three couples meander down the corridor and smiled after them. Ranger and I really were lucky to have them all in our lives.

Grandma was staring after them, too. "Boy, I'll tell you. It'd be a pip if I could get all those men of Ranger's into a big bounty hunter sandwich," she exclaimed. "You know, if their wives wouldn't mind too much."

My mother reached into her purse, pulled out a travel-size bottle of Jack Daniel's, and chugged half before replacing the cap and tossing the bottle back into her shoulder bag.

* * *

The next couple of weeks weren't easy, as I suspected they certainly wouldn't be. Ranger came home after being in the hospital only for a few days, but he was in so much pain that he was running RangeMan from our bedroom, alternating between being doped up on Dilaudid tablets and frustrated from doing everything one-handed.

Lula and I gladly took the proffered RangeMan office jobs and Lula still filed for Vinnie part-time. Lester and the guys handled Vinnie's high-bond skips while a temp guy, Race Barker, took over my small-fry stuff. Fine with me. I was no longer eager to put myself back into the line of fire, unnecessarily endangering both mine and the baby's lives. I was back to doing computer searches and, since Louis (Ella's husband) had made good on his promise of a new ergonomic desk chair awhile back, my ass no longer cramped. Now, it was just my back. Lula is one office over and is a total whackjob to do office work with. She and I speed through our morning searches and spend our afternoons in my cubicle, surfing on YouTube and crank-calling the guys over their two-ways when they're out doing field work.

Dayna, although doing much better than before, has been quieter than normal since the Scrog incident. I've been joining her for lunch up on six daily since then, and she's slowly but surely returning to her old self. She and Lester seem closer than ever and spend a lot of time talking quietly to each other and hugging and kissing. I'm sure the whole kidnapping blow-out hasn't been easy for them to overcome, but they're doing well.

Things were slowly returning to normal around RangeMan Enterprises. As it was, the only thing "un-normal" about life at Haywood at that point was the fact that Ranger and I hadn't been intimate since the night he left to go on the Scrog-hunt. His bulky bandages made it hard for him to move around. He was stressed over having to run the company in a tank top and boxers, from a laptop and a Blackberry. His pain level was constantly at a ten and he felt the need to pop a narcotic every four hours or so in order to quell the overwhelming aches.

Ladies and gentlemen, the unthinkable has happened. Stephanie Plum-Manoso has actually become sexually frustrated.

So on the night that he'd finally been allowed to remove the massive bandages that covered his shoulder and thigh, I was caught completely off-guard and was totally surprised when Ranger came up behind me in the dimly-lit bathroom and gently swept my hair off my shoulders before placing hot, open-mouthed kisses from my ear to the nape of my neck. His desire for me was hot and thick, pressing into the small of my back. _Yes,_ my body was saying. _Finally._

"Babe," he mumbled against my neck. "I've missed you." He turned me around in his arms and I was downright ecstatic to see that his eyes weren't glazed over from opioids and his speech was clear. His lips came down on mine and his tongue seeked entrance to my mouth and I oh-so-willingly granted it to him. I sighed as Ranger slowly slid his mouth against mine, causing pools of heat to settle in my nether regions. It had only been a couple of weeks, but it felt like my body was meeting his for the first time and the electricity of getting to know one another again had me writhing against him and moaning softly against his amazing lips.

"God, I need to feel you in me, Ranger," I breathed, my head thrown back and my hands busying themselves with the waistbands of both his boxers and my panties. When I had his hard length in my hand and my leg was wrapped around his uninjured hip, I slowly guided him into my wetness and listened with great pleasure as he groaned long and loud, burying himself deep within my body.

"No puedo creer que he esperado tanto tiempo para estar dentro de ti," Ranger said, his voice strained against my neck as he slowly dragged himself in and out of my hot, slick opening. "I can't believe I've waited this long to be inside you. Christ, Stephanie."

My name on his lips when his voice was full of passion like that was almost enough to send me flying over the edge before I was ready. And when he broke into Spanish? Forget about it. I was a goner. I was being careful not to hurt him but he wanted none of my caution. Ranger gripped my hips as though they were his lifeline and began pounding into me the way I needed him to, swallowing my cries with his talented tongue and mouth. He had me locked against the bathroom wall and was thrusting into me so hard I thought I'd split in half. I needed this. I needed him so badly.

His face as he came was so beautiful. The way his eyes squeezed shut, the way his full, pink lips parted and curled up as he fought to keep control, the way his cheeks became ruddy as total pleasure washed over his gorgeous body. It was all enough to send me over the edge and I contracted tightly around him, feeling his deft fingers gently prod my swollen clit to heighten the intensity.

Ranger held me in his arms after he'd slipped out from between my folds and slowly stroked wispy curls away from my face. "Thank you," he whispered against my cheek before kissing it.

"What for, Ranger?" I whispered back.

"For loving me, babe."

I looked at him. "I can't help it. I always will, no matter what."

I felt Ranger smile against my neck. "Good, because your mother called me today when she couldn't reach you on your cell. One thing led to another, and I ended up accepting a dinner invitation for tomorrow night."

I did a slow burn and groaned into Ranger's bare shoulder. My mother was learning the lingo needed in which to rook Ranger into a night in Plum Hell. And he was becoming more and more of a pushover. "Did she say what dessert would be?"

"Pineapple upside-down cake."

Be still, my heart.

* * *

The clock on the dashboard of the Denali read five fifty-six. We had exactly four minutes in which to park, remove Samantha from her car seat, and barge up the front path before seating ourselves at the dining room table.

Ranger swung the SUV down Roosevelt Street and barreled down the road until we reached the brown and mustard-yellow structure that housed my parents and, unfortunately for my father, my Grandmother Mazur. We were forced to park on the street because a shit-brown 1978 Cadillac Coupe DeVille was strewn haphazardly across the driveway, blocking any and all who were parked in front of it.

"What the..." I trailed off, as Ranger squealed to a stop next to the mailbox and carefully climbed out of the driver's seat.

"No time to wonder," he exclaimed, opening the side door and extracting Samantha. He tucked her under his good arm and joined me at the passenger's side. "Although that car looks vaguely familiar."

I glanced at my watch. Five fifty-nine. Ranger and I hauled ass up the front path and were met at the screen door by my mother and Grandma.

"Look what the cat dragged in," Grandma exclaimed, throwing the screen door open for Ranger and I to pass through. We stepped into the foyer and I breathed in the heavenly smell of fragrant lasagna and garlic bread and antipasto. My father was already seated at the table next to a very bony elderly man with a head of thick black hair.

"Who's that?" I whispered to my mother as I handed Samantha to her. My mother shook her head and nodded towards the ironing board and iron set up near the door to the laundry room. Yikes. This wasn't good. I was assuming that Grandma had picked up another stiff at the funeral home and had invited him and his bad rug to a Plum family dinner, featuring her pregnant granddaughter and her hot bounty hunter husband. I wondered if I needed to introduce Ranger as "Ranger" or "Rambo" to this one.

Turns out no introductions were needed. As soon as Ranger stepped into the dining room and came face to face with Grandma's way-over-the-hill guest, his eyes bugged off his face and I was worried he'd pop a stitch or two.

_"Uncle Manny?" _Ranger exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

Manny Manoso was Ranger's eighty-eight year-old great great uncle. He resided at the Shady Palms Retirement Home on Hamilton Avenue and had such bad vision that he probably shouldn't be driving. The lenses on his frames were so thick I thought they might be made out of bullet-proof glass. His hair looked like dead kelp and should have been secured a little better, because it was hanging crookedly over one of his big, hairy ears.

"Edna here was kind enough to invite me to dinner," he replied with a grin. Ranger clapped his hand on Manny's shoulder before taking the seat next to him, across from me. My mother put Samantha in a high chair and she and Grandma took chairs opposite my father.

"Ain't he a pip?" Grandma said. "And I think he puts out. He'd have to, in order to be the great great uncle of a hot bounty hunter with an excellent package."

"Mother!" my mom exclaimed. She cast a scathing glare in Grandma's direction before unfolding her cloth napkin on her lap. "Honestly, Ranger. I apologize ahead of time for whatever happens to come out of her mouth this evening."

Ranger's lips quirked upwards in the promise of a smile. I knew, deep down, that he was totally mortified.

"Loretta Steinhauser told me that you almost scored with Betty Landowsky," Grandma said to Manny around a mouthful of antipasto. "Care to elaborate on that?"

By this time, Ranger had stopped eating completely and my father was regarding his meal with great scrutiny.

"Well, my heart doctor told me not to date any more spring chickens until he gets the results of my bloodwork," Manny explained. "I had to stop going to bingo on Tuesday nights. That's when the younger crowd's usually there. The ones in their seventies. The deal with Betty was that I started to have chest pains right after our whole ordeal got underway. I had to quit and take a nitroglycerin tablet. I hope she's not spreading nasty rumors."

My mother's fork clattered to the table and she immediately pushed her chair back, stalked into the kitchen, and came back a few beats later with a little more color in her cheeks, no doubt courtesy of her buddy, Mr. Jack Daniels. She gave Ranger and I a tight smile before calmly picking her fork back up.

"Where did you two meet?" I asked Manny.

"Doris Faulkner's viewing, about three nights ago," he replied proudly. "At the tea and cookie table. We both reached for the same iced oatmeal."

Samantha was eyeing Manny's hair as if it would leap off his head and jump onto the tray of her high chair. I couldn't blame her for being scared. The thing looked like it should have been in a cage attached to a leash.

"Love at first sight," Grandma announced. "I think I might even marry this one. He's already asked me."

My father's head whipped up from his plate and he stared intently at Grandma, thinking that this just might be the moment he'd been waiting for. Grandma remarried and out of his house for good.

"What? No. Absolutely not. There's no way," my mother said, shaking her head fervently. "This is ridiculous. Frank, say something!"

"When's the soonest you can have her out of here?" my dad said, turning to Manny.

Manny chortled. "No can do, Mr. Plum. No room at the retirement home. Suzie, my home nurse, probably wouldn't let us bunk up together on account of all my intestinal problems. _Dios_, the cancer damn near ate away my entire colon."

Ranger, who had been silent this entire time, cleared his throat. "Uncle Manny, I don't really think -

"Nonsense," Manny exclaimed grumpily. "You kids won't let us have any fun. Edna, _vámonos_. There's a hotel we can head to downtown." With that, Manny stood up, teetered in his orthopedic shoes, and set his napkin down next to his plate. My grandmother followed suit.

"Mother, you're not going anywhere," my mom hissed. "Sit down here."

"Don't wait up," Grandma said, waving over her shoulder as she and Manny hobbled out the front door, slamming it behind them. I heard the Coupe DeVille's engine catch and seconds later, Manny roared out of the driveway and disappeared down the street.

Ranger was turning purple from holding in his laughter.

"You," my mother exclaimed, shaking a finger at me. "This is all your fault. Why didn't you do something to stop her? You're a bounty hunter, for Christ's sake! You make a living out of harassing people until they finally just do what you say!"

"Not anymore," I told her. "And I'm not very good at that, anyway. You should have had Ranger stop them."

_"She's YOUR grandmother!" _

"Babe, I know you don't want to deal with this right now, but our daughter is wearing her dinner." Ranger pointed to Samantha. While us adults had been arguing over my teenaged grandmother and her "date", Samantha had managed to coat herself in meat sauce and had ricotta cheese clinging to her tiny eyelashes. Globs of ground beef and sausage were sliding down her cheeks.

I was laughing on the inside. Really, I was.

* * *

It was after eight when Ranger pulled us into the underground garage, past Cal at the guard gate. He swung into a parking spot near the elevators and waited while I removed Samantha from her car seat. She was fresh from a bath (courtesy of my mother and I) and was sleeping peacefully. I handed her to Ranger while I extracted her diaper bag and soiled lasagna clothes from the backseat. I set them on the pavement and approached Ranger.

"Go ahead up," I told him before kissing him quickly. "I'll meet you in the apartment. I want to wipe down this -

The stairwell door crashed open next to us with a loud _bang!_ and Lester Santos stormed out like he was about to invade the Ukraine by himself. He was in a tank top and basketball shorts, keys and cell in hand and a Glock jammed into his waistband against the small of his back. He was carrying a small shopping bag. He spotted Ranger and I and stalked over to us.

"I'm borrowing Stephanie," he growled darkly. He took my hand and dragged me over to his Escalade, leaving Ranger gaping after us with a sleeping Sam in his arms. I was a little scared of Lester at that moment, so I silently obeyed his bark to get into the passenger's seat and buckled myself in before he fired up the engine and cut the bass.

"What are you wearing, Lester?" I asked, giving him a sniff as he shifted into Drive and rocketed us out of the underground garage. "You smell like Ranger. Is that Bulgari?" Thank God I was strapped in. Damn pregnancy hormones!

"Yeah, it is. Apparently Dayna rode the elevator with your husband not long ago and practically insisted that I bathe daily in the stuff so she could tear my clothes off and fuck me senseless each night after I come through the front door. Not that I mind." Lester turned onto Chestnut Street and floored the Escalade.

"Mind telling me where we're going? I've had a weird night."

"I'm on a mission," was the reply. His cell rang and he answered it on a Bluetooth earpiece that was stuck in his ear. "Yeah...shit, how am I supposed to remember that? I know, I already lost the sticky note that you gave me. So sue me!" He began punching things into the navi screen and a woman's voice came through the speakers and instructed him to turn right onto Hamilton. "Dayna...this is getting ridiculous." She must have said something he didn't like, because I watched his facial expression turn from _pissed_ to _outraged_. "Tell it to Stephanie. She could probably remember it better than me." He removed his Bluetooth and handed it to me. "Talk to my crazy, hormonal wife. She's irrational."

"What is Lester so worked up about?" I asked Dayna, once I had her on the line.

It sounded like she had to unclench her jaw before speaking. "I'd like to have a salad for dinner. It's all prepared and sitting here, ready to go. Only there's no more Kraft Light Creamy Italian salad dressing because Lester lent it to Tank, who used it all." I glanced at Lester and he pointed towards the shopping bag sitting on the center console.

"Hang on," I said to Dayna. I opened the shopping bag and found an empty bottle of Kraft Light Creamy Italian salad dressing. "Is that what you absolutely have to have?" I asked her.

"_Yes!_ I told Lester that I'd take the Hidden Valley Light Buttermilk Ranch if he couldn't find the Creamy Italian, but he says he lost the sticky note with that Ranch name on it. Do you think you can remember it, Steph?"

Open mouth, insert foot. "I can try, " I told her. Hidden...Butter...Ranchy-milk...shit. "We'll call you." I disconnected and held up the empty bottle of Creamy Italian.

"She's nuts, hunh?" Lester stated knowingly.

"She's not nuts. She's pregnant. I know what she's going through. I sent Ranger into Philadelphia once just for Coconut Juniors. First we'll try Shop n' Bag and then Giovicchinni's. If we don't have luck there, then I've got a plan."

Lester glanced at me and smiled his knee-melting crooked smile. "You're something else, Plum."

After exhausting Giovicchinni's, Shop n' Bag, Porfirio's Italian Foods, CJ Deli and Grocery, and Wal-Mart SuperCenter, Lester pulled the Escalade back into the parking lot of the Shop n' Bag and ran his hands through his hair. "Fuck," he spat. "About that plan..."

"I saw that they had regular Kraft Creamy Italian when we were here earlier. Think she'd know the difference?" I asked him.

"The bottle wouldn't say Light on it," Lester lamented.

"Right. But this one does." I danced the empty Light container on the center console and watched as his chocolate brown eyes lit up.

"Stephanie. You're a fucking genius." With that, Lester leapt out of the SUV and was back in under two minutes with a Shop n' Bag grocery bag containing a bottle of the regular Creamy Italian. "Quick, pour it in here!"

I twisted the cap off of the regular Creamy Italian and began dumping it into the Light bottle while Lester looked on happily. His cell rang and he answered it on speaker.

"Did you get it?" demanded Dayna.

"Yeah, baby. I've got it right here. Kraft Light Creamy Italian. And I've even opened it to...make sure it...smells Light?" Lester said, grimacing and looking over at me. I gave him a thumbs-up and completed the stealth salad dressing switch.

"Oh, good! Thank you! I'm _starving_," Dayna gushed.

"See you in ten," Lester said before disconnecting. I twisted the cap tightly and shook the bottle of "light" Creamy Italian for good measure. Sure had me fooled.

"You owe me, Santos," I told him as he started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot onto Broad.

"Last time you said that we ended up making out in Control while Tank went to the bathroom," he smirked.

My mouth dropped open. "That was _years _ago!" My cheeks burned and I started to get warm in...places. "And you did owe me. I took care of that raggedy, mangy cat you used to have. I cat-sat for nearly two weeks!"

Lester swung the SUV into the underground garage and squealed to a stop in his parking spot. "And if I forgot to tell you back then, thank you very much for that."

"What, for the cat-sitting or the making out?"

He waggled his eyebrows and smirked at me, and grabbed the bottle of "light" dressing before climbing down out of the Escalade. Bastard.

"Set a pillow and blanket out on your couch for me when you get upstairs, just in case Dayna figures out that we've fooled her sensitive tastebuds. Don't set the alarm."

"Sure," I told him. I rode the elevator up to seven and found Ranger reading a Berenstain Bears book to Samantha, who appeared less than enthused to listen. I rescued her from Ranger's emotionless man-reading and laid her down in her crib before taking Ranger to bed.

An hour later, my cell rang. I located my pajamas and jammed myself into them before hurrying to my purse in the kitchen to answer it.

"I've managed to please my wife in more ways than one," grumbled Lester. He sounded completely satisfied.

I felt myself smiling. "She bought it?"

"Hell yes, she bought it."

"Where is she now?"

"Taking a bath. I just wanted to tell you that it's okay to set your alarm now."

"Thanks," I said dryly. "See you in the morning."

"Peace." Lester disconnected. I tossed my phone back into my purse and smiled. Our salad dressing secret was safe.

* * *

**I know, I know. The above innuendo between S & L was completely uncalled for but I seriously miss Santos Smut! Lol don't expect it to go anywhere though. They are both happily married! :) I'm cracking up because Kraft doesn't even make a Light Creamy Italian. But if they did, I'd buy out the store's stock! lol And as for Grandma and Ranger's Uncle Manny, who knows what can happen! There's much more to come. Hope you're enjoying so far!**


	6. White Wedding

**Thank you to all who have read and reviewed! I'd like to get a poll on what you think each of the girls should have (boy, girl, twins, etc.) so drop me a line if you have a good idea! --Jill**

My cell rang at six-thirty the next morning, waking both Ranger and I from a sound sleep. I rolled out of the warm security of his smooth mocha latte-colored arms and located the loudly-chiming offender on my nightstand before answering it on speaker.

"Your grandmother just got home," my mother said through clenched teeth. "A cab dropped her off. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I hope the neighbors didn't notice. What will everyone think? I've got an eighty-seven year old mother who stays out all night and has to call a taxi to bring her home." I knew for a fact that she was crossing herself at that very moment.

"Where's Uncle Manny?"

"He's back at Shady Palms," my mom exclaimed. "I called over there just now."

"Did Grandma say where they were had been all night long?"

"I'll have to ask her as soon as she gets out of the bathroom. God only knows where they were at, Stephanie. She smelled like Jim Beam and cigarette smoke when she walked through the door!"

"I'm glad she got home safely," I said. "I can't understand why you and dad won't just get her a cell phone."

"Because she'll run up the bill in no time, despite the fact that we have a landline here. And God in heaven forbid someone teach her how to do those text messages."

I grimaced and disconnected. Ranger was propped up on his elbow next to me, silently snickering so hard that the bed was shaking.

"What, Chuckles?" I demanded, turning to face him.

He was laughing too hard to answer me. Bastard.

* * *

Dayna entered my cubicle later on that morning, wearing a set of cute form-fitting black scrubs and a huge smile. It was the happiest I'd seen her look in weeks, since the Scrog incident. She took a seat in the guest chair across from me and grabbed the Koosh ball I kept on my desk for decoration. Truthfully, Hal and I often use it to play "across-office catch" whenever Ranger is either out of the building or preoccupied with his rich, pretentious security systems clients in the conference room.

"Guess what," she sang out, repeatedly yanking on several of the Koosh ball's tentacles and then snapping them back into place. "I'm exactly six weeks pregnant today!"

I grinned and set down my pen. "Did Dr. Saunders ever tell you what your due date is?"

"May 16th."

"I think Lula's is the 17th and so is Ana's. I have to go back next week and see Dr. Radcliff. He should be able to tell me what mine will be."

My desk phone rang and I answered it to find Connie on the other line.

"Steph," she said. She was cracking up. "Can you take an early lunch and come down to the office? I've got something that you absolutely_ have _to see." I heard Lula in the background, since it was her morning to be at Vinnie's for a filing stint.

"_Tell her to bring a pizza from Pino's_," Lula was shouting. _"No, wait. Shorty's. Naw. Make it Pino's. And an order of twenty-five hot wings with extra blue __cheese__ on the side. Tell them to forget the celery because it takes up too much room in the Styrofoam container and doesn't leave enough space for all the wing grease. I gotta have the grease. It's one of them cravings, I tell you."_

Christ. God forbid Lula ate something as healthy as celery. It would probably shock her system. "I heard that," I told Connie. "Tell her I'll be there as soon as I can and to place the order so I can pick it up. I just need to tell Ranger I'll be leaving the building for awhile." I disconnected and rolled my eyes before turning to face Dayna. "Feel like taking a ride, Danish?"

"Sure," she replied. "I have three appointments to see this afternoon, but they're not scheduled until after one."

Dayna and I gathered up our shoulder bags and quietly let ourselves into Ranger's office without knocking. He was on the phone and looked up when we entered. His facial expression was tuned to _"not all that thrilled to be on this call."_

"We're going to lunch," I mouthed to him, motioning to Dayna. She made a little fork-and-knife cutting action with her hands to supplement my words.

Ranger nodded and turned back to his phone conversation. Dayna and I took that as a cue to get the hell out and backed through the door before shutting it silently. We were halfway down the hall when Cal burst out of the Control room, Lester and Ram at his heels. They spotted Dayna and I and headed our way.

"Brown just invited us all to his wedding tonight," Ram exclaimed. "Down in A.C., at White Wedding on the beach."

My mouth dropped open. _"What?" _

"Yeah, he and Ana are tying the knot at seven sharp. It was kind of a rushed decision, but they want to do it as soon as possible and White Wedding doesn't have any openings until next month. Ana hated the thought of doing it down at the courthouse, so..." Lester trailed off.

Dayna picked her jaw up off the floor and hiked her pink Coach handbag back up onto her shoulder. "So they give us..." She glanced at her watch. "What, practically a few _hours_ notice?"

"I can't go," Ram lamented. "I'm covering Santos's shift so he can go to the wedding." He threw a thumb in Lester's direction.

"I can't go, either," said Cal. "I have a date with a chick who's actually _not _into S & M this time. There's no way I'm going to ruin this. It might be my only fucking chance for a normal relationship." Cal's flaming-skull forehead tattoo was frequently the reason why he only attracted hard-core, Dominatrix-type women. Maybe it was also his pierced nipples, eyebrow barbells, tongue ring, and nose stud. Cal Santiago was a human pincushion.

"I'm Bobby's best man," Lester announced. "He already asked me to be."

"Are wedding parties and groomsmen even required at that dive?" I asked, making a face. White Wedding was a raunchy Vegas-type chapel near the boardwalk in Atlantic City. Couples could engage in weddings with themes, such as cowboy weddings, gothic weddings, surfer-dude weddings, retro weddings, Halloween weddings, and just about any other type of wedding one could think of. I prayed that Bobby and Ana weren't weird enough to have us all dress up like eighties rock stars or something even more embarrassing.

Lester shook his head. "Nope. Only if you want to have them. Bobby said this'll just be a bunch of their friends and family getting together to celebrate with them. And dinner afterwards at the Hard Rock Cafe on the boardwalk."

Swell. The thought of dropping Samantha off at my parents' house when there was so much going on with Grandma was nearly unfeasible. Kristen, Samantha's usual sitter, stays with her until I'm done with my weekday RangeMan work around five or so. I distinctly remembered her telling me when she arrived that morning about her plans for the evening so I knew that asking her to stay later wouldn't be an option. Ranger's parents had left the day before on a cruise to Cozumel, courtesy of an anniversary gift from Ranger and I. And I absolutely hated to ask Ella to watch her. She had enough to do. It looked as though Bobby and Ana would have a pint-sized wedding guest that night.

"We'll have to bring the baby," I sighed. I turned to Lester. "Does Ranger know about this?"

He shook his head. "Brown's going to tell everybody this afternoon." Lester pulled his cell out of his pocket and glanced at the time. "Shit. I have to get going. I've got a dentist appointment at eleven-thirty." He backed Dayna against a wall in the hallway and plastered his front against hers. The liplock he proceeded to lay on her gave me a pregnancy-induced hormonal hot flash so intense I nearly ran back into Ranger's office to rip the stupid desk phone out of his hand, smash it against the wall, and watch as he tore off my cloth -

"Earth to Steph," Dayna said. She was standing next to me, peering at me with her brows furrowed. I let out the breath I'd been holding and looked around. Lester and the guys had disappeared. Dayna was holding her car keys and sunglasses, ready to go.

"Sorry," I mumbled, embarrassed that I'd been off in space. My flushed cheeks and sweaty forehead probably gave away my nefarious thoughts.

"I thought I'd lost you there, Steph." She smiled knowingly, her eyebrows raised. "And I know exactly what's going through your head, too. After all, naughty minds think alike." Dayna laughed.

She was right about that.

* * *

My cell rang just as Dayna and I left Pino's with the food. I groaned when I looked at the readout and saw that it was my mother.

"She's not talking," my mother exclaimed. "I've been asking all morning where she and Manny had been last night, and she keeps telling me to mind my own business! She says she doesn't remember much. Christ, I know for a fact that she'd been drinking. I smelled the bourbon as soon as she came up the front path!"

"Don't worry," I told my mother. "She'll blab it to the entire beauty parlor at her appointment tomorrow. I'm sure Thelma Scjewski and Madge Raimondi will be calling the house as soon as they catch wind of what went on. You'll find out then."

I disconnected. I had to hand it to Grandma. Although she's definitely one to kiss and tell, she sure was keeping tight-lipped about this one for some reason. Despite the fact that she was home safely and seemingly without incident, my radar began humming. I shook the weird tingly feelings off and balanced the pizza box and the wings on my lap for the short drive to the office.

Dayna and I pulled up to bonds office in her Infiniti G35 with a piping-hot Pino's pizza and a Styrofoam container bursting at the seams with the greasiest, sauciest buffalo hot wings known to man. We swung through the glass door and were met with shouts of delight from both Connie and Lula.

"They come bearing gifts," Connie exclaimed. She bustled over to me and whipped the pizza box from my hands before schlepping it over to her desk. Lula followed and snatched up the hot wings.

"About damn time!" She carted the wings to Connie's desk and flipped the lid on the container. After deeply breathing the spicy smell of the buffalo sauce, Lula set about to opening up plastic silverware and handing out paper plates as Dayna and I pulled up chairs.

"Thank you, you guys," Connie raved. "I am _starving_."

I took a piece of pizza and crammed half of the slice into my mouth before chewing. "Who does that big truck outside belong to?" I turned in my seat and gestured to the brand-new black Ford Excursion that was taking up nearly two spots in front of the bonds office, next to Dayna's car.

"Do you like it? It's my new set of wheels. My Tankie talked me into getting it. You know, for when the baby comes." Lula set the unopened tureen of blue cheese dressing next to her container of wings and tucked a napkin into her tee shirt collar.

"Oh, yeah?" I countered. "I bet you're going to miss all that speed and zooming ability. Not to mention the Dolby."

"Can't be speedin' around in a Firebird with G-Unit's bass boomin' and a baby in the backseat," replied Lula. "Wouldn't be right." I was actually proud of her. Lula was growing up.

Lula uncovered the tureen of blue cheese dressing and released a blast of the most putrid smell I'd ever breathed in. I gagged immediately and staggered out of my chair, practically coughing up a lung. Waves of nausea rolled through my stomach and I suddenly became terrified that I'd vomit my lunch on Vinnie's crusty industrial-grade bonds office carpeting. I lunged for the wastebasket under Connie's desk and dry heaved until the clanging in my head stopped.

Dayna, Connie, and Lula were all laughing so hard that neither of them were making any sound. I'd broken out into a cold sweat and glared up at them all from my seat on the floor.

"Mark blue cheese dressing down on the list of new aversions," hooted Lula. "Steph can't hang with that anymore."

"When she was pregnant with Samantha, she hated bananas and red meat," Connie explained to Dayna. "We discovered the beef aversion when Lula once brought Steph a Cluck Burger and she gagged just from unwrapping it."

Dayna and Lula both cracked up. I crawled over to the shit-brown Naugahyde couch and put my head between my legs. "Just wait," I said, my voice muffled. "Just you both fucking wait." It took a few minutes before I was able to sit up straight again without feeling sick. I decided I'd better keep my butt parked on the couch until Lula discarded the tureen of blue cheese dressing.

Dayna had finished one slice of pizza and was now eyeing Lula's box of wings. Yikes. Now Connie and I knew better than to try to get Lula to share her food, but unfortunately Dayna was still fairly new to the gang and hasn't quite gotten Lula all figured out yet. I tried to deter Dayna's buffalo wing thoughts with some mental telepathy, but unfortunately her hair-smoothing products must have been slathered on a little too thick that day and my ESP didn't quite reach her brain. Before I knew it...

"May I have a wing, Lula?" Dayna asked her cautiously. Lula glared at Dayna around a mouthful of buffalo chicken wing. Uh-oh. Lula quickly morphed into rhino-mode, nostrils flaring. I met Connie's wide eyes and together we watched Dayna's innocent little face, her blue-green eyes shining questioningly at Lula. Connie and I held our breaths and waited for the madness. Three...two...one...

To my complete surprise, Lula morphed back into normal-mode and, smiling wryly, slowly pushed the box of wings towards Dayna. Connie and I let out our breaths and I laughed from my perch on the couch.

"Wow," I said. "I'm impressed. This is definitely a first." Connie nodded in agreement.

"I'm telling you, being pregnant is making me nicer," Lula exclaimed. "Besides, I'd never be mean to my girl Danish here. I got all kinds of respect for her, since her man is so hot." Lula turned towards me. "And don't even get me started on yours." I'm sure Tank would have been downright thrilled to catch the last two parts of that inappropriate yet true statement.

Dayna blushed and took a wing. "Thanks, I guess," she breathed.

When the food was gone and the offensive blue cheese dressing had been cleared away, I rejoined the group around Connie's desk and watched as she unfolded a section of _The Trenton Times._

"Is this what you wanted to show me?" I said to Connie, motioning towards the paper.

She nodded fervently and cackled with laughter. "Get a load of this." She held up a page containing a large picture and an article. In the picture, Joyce Barnhardt was kneeling down in a smiling pose with her arms around two huge Doberman Pinschers. The article was titled: _Trenton Woman Rescues And Adopts Four Abused Large-Breed Dogs. _The article proceeded to describe how Joyce liked to use animals to "fill the void in her life" after becoming divorced for the third time. It went on to say that aside from making the streets of Trenton a safer place by enforcing bail bonds, nothing was more important to Joyce than spending quality time with her pets.

By the time we'd finished reading the article, Connie had black mascara-tears rolling down her cheeks and Lula had choked on her spit from laughing so hard. Dayna was confused. I, on the other hand, was totally grossed out and not really all that surprised to hear that this is what slut-head Joyce Barnhardt has been up to.

"What's the big deal? She obviously can't keep a husband, so the dogs -

"Dayna," I began. "Let me fill you in. Joyce Barnhardt is a fucking fungus. She courteously helped me get out of my doomed marriage to Dickie Orr by banging him for all the bastard was worth on our dining room table. She constantly tried to steal high-bond FTAs out from under me. And believe me: the only quality time she'll be spending with those large dogs is going to involve getting naked and spreading Alpo all over her vagina."

Dayna went pale.

"Ask Vinnie, he'll tell you," Lula piped up. "Where is that little weasel, anyway? I wanted to show him that I filed his greasy, bony ass into the ground this morning." She craned her neck to try to see out into the parking lot, checking for his Cadillac Seville.

"He's finagling down at the jail today," Connie told her. "Martina Schuler got picked up for solicitation last night and he had to revoke her bond because she didn't show up for court."

"By the way," I said to Lula. "Bobby and Ana are getting married tonight at White Wedding in Altantic City. We're all supposed to be going."

"I know, Tank called me earlier to tell me. Who's drivin'?"

"Ranger and I are going in our truck. We have to bring the baby. You and Tank are more than welcome to ride with us if you want." I rose up from my chair and grabbed my shoulder bag. Dayna did the same.

"I'll let him know. Geeze, I can't wait for tonight," Lula said excitedly. "I haven't been to a wedding at that place in _ages._ I hope Bobby and Ana make us all dress up as eighties rock stars or somethin'. Wouldn't that be fun?"

Yeah. Great fun, Lu. I rolled my eyes and slogged out of the office, Dayna on my heels.

* * *

Ranger came out of the bathroom at a quarter to four in black slacks and a black silk shirt. I was feeling pretty cranky because I felt rushed to get ready, and because Samantha had napped for Kristen all day and was still asleep. She would probably be awake all night long.

I had showered and was now choosing panties to put on. "Do you ever wear anything other than black?" I yelled angrily, as soon as I saw him. "I know what you have in your closet. You have clothes that are red, blue, green, brown, white, yellow, orange, and even purple! This is a wedding, for crying out loud. Not a funeral! And this isn't some RangeMan corporate brouhaha, where you have to be all stiff and proper and...and _blah. _Can't you put something on that says, "I'm all about the fun!" instead of, "Who died?"

Holy shit. I'd just called Ranger _blah. _Did I have a death wish? Too late to turn back now, Steph. I was panting and my face was hot and I'd somehow managed to turn myself on by doing all that ranting and raving. Ranger had been watching me calmly during my Italian tirade, complete with the hand-waving. The corners of his mouth were twitching upwards in the promise of a smile. His eyes were dark and a wolf-grin appeared as he stalked over to me before taking me in his arms.

"I love it when you're pissed off at me, babe," he grumbled against my neck. "Do you really want me to remove my clothes?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "Take them off _right now. _I'm sick of seeing you dressed like Van Helsing."

Ranger chuckled lightly against my pulse point and pushed me backwards down onto our bed. I landed with a flop and watched through lust-filled eyes as he slowly unbuttoned the silk shirt and let it slide off of his smooth, dark shoulders, his gaze locked on mine the entire time. He slipped his belt out of the loops on his pants before unbuttoning them and letting them slide to the carpet to join his dress shirt. Christ, he was commando. It was almost as if he was baiting me sexually by wearing the black clothing. He probably knew it would piss me off.

My chest was heaving with each breath as I took him in, one glorious inch of muscle at a time. I felt the tops of my thighs become wet as he approached me on the bed with a predatory glare in his onyx, lash-framed eyes.

"Turn around," came the deep baritone grumble that emerged from his chest. My eyes fluttered shut and I complied with his wish. I was up on all fours with my arms and legs quaking from the desire coursing through my lower half when I felt Ranger's warmth standing behind me. He took hold of my hips in both of his hands and I could feel him prodding at my slick entrance, probably trying to decide when would be a good time to plunge inside and drive us both wild. His hot lips came down on my lower back and I arched my spine as I cried out.

"Please, Ranger," I whimpered. A few seconds passed and finally he took mercy on me and pushed himself into my body, inch by excruciating inch. When he filled me completely, he slowly dragged back out and roughly pushed back in again, cursing under his strained breath and gripping my bottom. It only took a few more of his thrusts to send me flying over the edge, screaming his name into the down comforter and thrashing my hips wildly against his. He shot himself deep inside of me and fisted his hand in my hair as he came. I allowed him to yank my head back and he thrust his tongue into my mouth to swallow our cries of passion as we rode out the wave together.

It was now ten after four and Ranger and I were lying together on the bed, curled up in a jumble of sweaty limbs. He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "Christ, babe," he breathed. "Remind me to piss you off more often."

I couldn't help but laugh as I untangled myself from his arms and walked naked into the bathroom. "When I get out of the shower, you'd better have some non-black clothes picked out to wear."

"And if I don't?" Ranger challenged me, an eyebrow raised.

"I have nothing even close to a comment to say back to that."

* * *

The ride to Atlantic City would take about an hour and a half, depending on how fast everybody decided to drive. Tank and Lula took us up on our offer to ride in our car. Lester and Dayna met us down in the underground garage and we all congregated to make last-minute plans. Everyone was coiffed to the max that evening. I wore a short pink halter top dress with a lacy bodice. Ranger had on tan dress pants and a baby-blue cotton dress shirt. Lester had on black dress pants and a sage green dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Tank wore tan dress pants and a matching vest over a rose-colored dress shirt. Lula had on a lavender dress that, surprisingly, she wasn't popping out of.

"Bobby and Ana already left," Tank told us. "They're meeting his folks and Ana's family at White Wedding."

"You following us?" Ranger asked Lester. Dayna fidgeted beside Les in a strapless teal Donna Karan dress with a flared skirt that stopped three inches above her knees. She looked a little bit flushed. I suspected she was coming through a bout of morning sickness that had decided to show its ugly face in the evening instead.

"We'll be right behind you, Bossman." Lester walked Dayna over to the passenger's side of his Escalade and buckled her inside. I went up to the open window and leaned on the frame.

"Are you doing okay?" I asked her.

Dayna smiled and took a Preggie Pop out of her purse. "A little nauseous. I'll be all right."

"Ah, the joys of pregnancy," I said. "See you guys there."

Ranger loaded Samantha into her carseat and climbed up into the Denali with Tank beside him at the helm of the ship. Lula and I situated ourselves in the backseat and Lula cracked open a can of ginger ale as we rolled out of the underground garage.

"For the road," she explained. "I'm not feeling all that great this evening."

"Neither is Dayna," I told her, smirking. "Me? I'm fine. No nausea at all yet."

"Yeah?" Lula scoffed. "How about a salad covered with some..._blue cheese dressing?"_

I thought back to the afternoon and lurched forward with a wave of nausea as my brain recalled the memory of the stink. I began to cough uncontrollably as Lula cracked up beside me. Ranger was staring at me in the rearview mirror with a concerned look on his face.

"Babe?" he asked. "You okay?"

"Fine," I gagged out. I turned to Lula. "Bitch," I muttered.

* * *

White Wedding was bursting at the seams with members of both Ana and Bobby's families. It wasn't that big of a place, so I hoped it was able to hold the fifty or so people who had decided to show up. It seemed as though Ana's entire family had driven down from New York at the last minute to witness the event. I noted happily that there didn't seem to be anyone in attendance who was dressed up as an eighties rock star, even though I had a small moment of panic when I heard Billy Idol's _White Wedding _blaring from the speakers outside of the chapel. Turned out that was the place's theme song, ironically.

Ranger approached me with Samantha in her stroller. "Should we find a seat?" he suggested over the noise. Lester, Lula, and Dayna were at our heels. Tank had spotted Bobby and was letting him know that we had all arrived. Hal and his new girlfriend Kassie were already seated on Bobby's side of the chapel. Erik Salvatora was next to them, sitting beside an extremely attractive olive-skinned woman that was wearing next to nothing. He saw us in the aisle and motioned for us to join him and his date in their pew. We all slid in next to them and I took the aisle seat so I could take Samantha outside if she got fussy during the ceremony.

Lester and Hal did the complicated guy handshake and Erik introduced us to his girlfriend.

"This is Aurora," he announced proudly. "She doesn't speak any English. She's an Italian exchange student at Rutgers."

"_Buona sera_," Aurora said, smiling.

"_Buona sera_," Lester, Hal, Tank, and Ranger all echoed together in a mesmerized daze. I elbowed Ranger and spoke low in his ear.

"I'm gonna say _buona sera _to you permanently in a minute," I hissed to him. Samantha must have thought that was funny because she giggled at Ranger from my lap.

The corners of Ranger's mouth twitched up in the promise of a smile. "Babe," he chided, leaning over me to kiss our daughter.

The crowd had quieted down and a reverend, dressed to the point of overkill in ostentatiously-ornamented papal robes, walked up the aisle and took his stance at the altar. People scrambled to take their seats as the lights dimmed and two young boys in suits emerged to light a few candles. I watched as Lester hurried up to the altar to join Bobby next to the reverend, as best man. The Wedding March began over the loudspeaker and Bobby looked absolutely radiant as Ana appeared at the beginning of the aisle, in a simple white satin gown and a small bouquet of lillies in her hands.

As cheesy of a place as White Wedding was, the Brown/Arias wedding certainly wasn't. The guests were nicely dressed, the decorations were somewhat tasteful, the music was appropriate, and the reverend even seemed legit. Samantha didn't make so much as a peep throughout the whole thing. Lula and Dayna were both crying into Kleenexes, effectively ruining their makeup. Ranger stayed stoic during the ceremony but eventually joined in the clapping at the end. Santos kept whispering things in Bobby's ear during the reverend's speech, causing Bobby to blush furiously and repeatedly elbow Lester in the ribs. Ana's rather portly bridesmaid was staring at Lester like he was an all-you-can-eat lunch buffet. He was returning the stares with his left hand pointedly up to his face, his wedding band in plain view.

The ceremony ended with a huge round of applause and a grinning Bobby and Ana dashed down the aisle, through the doors to the outside of the chapel. We all followed behind in a large crowd and stood around, congratulating the bride and groom. Ana and Bobby were glowing as they hugged everyone. I realized that I'd forgotten to grab Samantha's diaper bag from the pew and tugged on the sleeve of Ranger's baby blue dress shirt to get his attention.

"I forgot her stuff on the pew," I said, gesturing towards Sam on my hip. "And I have to change her. I'll meet you inside the Hard Rock." I eyed the crowd, which had started moving away from the chapel and towards the direction of the Hard Rock Cafe a few strides down the boardwalk.

"Come straight to the restaurant when you're done," Ranger told me. "I think we'll be set up in the party room towards the back." He kissed me quickly and jogged ahead to join up with Lester and Hal and everybody. I buckled Samantha into her stroller and wheeled her through the lobby of White Wedding. A couple of workers were clearing out some of the decorations in the chapel, so I quickly grabbed Sam's bag from the pew and hurried back out to the lobby.

On my way into the restroom, I spotted an advertisement easel propped up by the entrance that I hadn't noticed before when we'd entered the chapel. Links of silk flowers adorned the easel and big paper wedding bells were glued to the background. There were four 8x10 pictures pasted on the board underneath the banner reading "Just Married!" and yesterday's date. The first picture featured an African-American couple named Chris Adams and Rhona Jenkins, who had gotten married the night before and looked extremely happy. The second photo featured Jim Crighton and Tracy Almeida, who, to my absolute horror, had the eighties rockstar wedding. The third photo featured Jorge Borrero and Valeria Torres, a very young couple who didn't even look old enough to drink at their reception.

The remaining 8x10 photo featured a fuzzy picture of what appeared to be an elderly couple. I stepped up to the advertisement easel and squinted at the man in the picture. He was wearing an obviously rented tux that didn't quite fit his bony body, a large bowtie, a bushy black toupee, and a huge smile. The woman in the picture was just as thin and bony, but much more pale and slightly less smiley. She had on a saggy, orange-sequined gown and was holding peach roses.

Recognition of who the couple was suddenly flooded my brain and my knees went weak as I gasped. My hand flew up to my mouth as I read: _Congratulations to Manny Manoso and Edna Mazur from Trenton, New Jersey! _

The couple in the photograph was Ranger's Uncle Manny and my grandmother Mazur.

**Yikes! Grandma keeps getting crazier and crazier. Steph calling Ranger "blah" had me cracking up as I typed it! Don't forget to send in your vote for the sex of the babies...it won't be too much longer before they all find out what they're having! **


	7. I like big butts and I cannot lie

**Thank you for all of the reviews and emails regarding the babies! You all had really great suggestions and I'm excited to get started on the next few chapters. Hope everyone had a nice weekend -Jill**

* * *

Piles and piles of clothes from my parents' closet were sitting on the Formica kitchen countertops when I swung through the door leading into the kitchen from the dining room. The ironing board was up, the Jack Daniels was out in plain view, and my mother was red-faced and sweating as she toiled over one of my father's dress shirts. She was oblivious to my presence as I entered the kitchen and took a seat at the table.

"How long has this been going on?" I whispered to Valerie. She was sitting at the kitchen table with Grandma, both of them regarding my mother with sort of a quiet awe. They each had a highball glass filled with iced tea in their hands. No word yet on whether the iced teas were Long Island or not. Valerie just shook her head and thunked it onto her outstretched arm.

Grandma was the one to answer me, leaning close to whisper in my ear. "Since about six a.m. Four hours. After your phone call last night from the Hard Rock, the poor thing practically went into a meltdown and wasn't able to do much of anything, let alone iron. Soon as that board went up this morning and the whiskey came out of the cabinet, I realized things were bad. She's taken every article of clothing out of the damn walk-in and is ironing it whether it's wrinkled or not."

I had to back away from Grandma or I'd get buzzed off the smell of her breath. The iced teas were, no doubt, Long Island. "Maybe no more of that," I said, pointing to her half-empty glass.

"Nonsense," Grandma replied. She took a healthy swig and set the glass onto the kitchen table with a small bang.

"So I guess congratulations are in order," I said to Grandma. "You and Ranger's Uncle Manny, tying the knot and all at White Wedding. Are you moving in together?"

"No, we're not. And what are the cotton-pickin' chances that you'd stumble across our wedding photo at that dive? Good grief." Grandma shook her head. "That old Cuban bat got me liquored up at Stevie B's and when I was good and sauced, he sweet-talked me into some late-night nuptials on the boardwalk."

"Wait a second. I thought he'd already asked you to marry him. At least that's what you said at dinner the other night. I figured you'd be happy to be with him. And _liquored up_?" I repeated. "How much did you have to drink? And why the hell did you let him drive you all the way to Atlantic City just to toss back a few? We have bars here."

"I thought Atlantic City sounded like fun, since Point Pleasant's starting to get overrun with the older crowd, if you know what I mean. Not enough hot, sexy men to stare at over there. Now Atlantic City is a hotbed of activity, if you'd like to get a gander at a young stud with an excellent package. And to answer your previous questions, I thought maybe I'd like to settle down with this one. He's supposed to be one hell of a catch, according to the ladies at the beauty parlor. And all I had to drink was a shot of Jim Beam."

"That's _it_?" I squeaked out. "One shot? Surely you would have realized what you were doing, then."

"I'm a lightweight, what can I tell you?" Grandma took another sip of her tea and raised her eyebrows at me over her glass.

"But Mom said you reeked of bourbon when you came up the path last night," I said to her, confused.

"Some tipsy old geezer tried to hit on me at the bar, probably because I was wearing my good orange sequined dress. So Manny splashed his Black-Eyed Susan in his face. Only the old geezer ducked, and Manny ended up spilling his drink on the front of my gown." The mental picture I'd just gotten of three senior citizens engaged in a love-triangled bar fight at an Atlantic City pub had me fighting back laughter and succeeding for a change.

Valerie, who'd been silent this whole time, finally spoke up. "I hate to ask this, and _believe_ me I do. And please don't take that the wrong way, Grandma. But did you and Uncle Manny happen to…consummate this marriage at all?"

My mother heard my sister and a loud moan escaped her throat. I watched as she slammed down the iron, twisted the cap off of the Jack, and poured two fingers into a tumbler before chugging it.

Grandma scoffed. "Consummate, hell. He couldn't consummate a six-foot hole in the ground."

"So what happened? Elevator didn't go all the way up to the penthouse?" I asked, unable to hide my smile.

"That damn elevator of his wouldn't go past the first floor. Might as well have been dead. Loretta Steinhauser was right. There I was, thinking I'd finally be able to do the hanky panky again after all these years. And with a relative of your hot bounty hunter husband, none the less. But no."

I watched my mother start to reach for the Jack again, but she caught herself in time and continued to iron fervently.

"Too bad you didn't realize all that _before_ you married Manny," I joked to Grandma.

"I'll just bet you knew all about Ranger's expertise in the sack when you two walked down the aisle," Grandma said to me, a mischevious glint in her eye. "I saw the way he was always looking at you, like you were a healthy, non-fattening alternative to dessert for him. Ain't that a pip. I bet you two had been doing it way before your wedding. Hell, with a man as hot as Ranger I'd have him naked and chained to a bed before he even asked me my name."

My mom abandoned her ironing all together and slumped against the kitchen counter with the half-empty bottle of Jack in her hand. "You see?" she said to us weakly, brandishing the bottle. "This is what I'm reduced to because I have a mother who thinks she's a teenaged sex-kitten and a daughter who'd been repeatedly fornicating with my son-in-law long before she married him."

Everyone looked to me to say something to fill the uncomfortable silence. "Not _long _before," I said uneasily. That was the best I could come up with? Smooth, Plum.

My mother crossed herself and took another swig of whiskey.

* * *

Three and a half weeks later, Grandma was still married to Ranger's uncle Manny and, slowly but surely, I was growing out of my clothing. According to Dr. Radcliff's calculations, I was approaching my ten-week mark and the baby was perfectly healthy so far. Ranger has been attending every single appointment with me and is even using my latest ultrasound photo as his computer desktop.

Yes, it's true. The big, bad mercenary bounty hunter does have a soft side.

I woke up that morning with a headache and a severe bout of morning sickness. My stomach rolled as soon as I sat up in bed and I reached for Ranger. His warm body turned to face me and he wrapped his arms around my waist as I lurched forward, nauseous beyond belief.

"Babe?" he questioned sleepily.

"Shit," I grunted. I quickly threw myself out of bed before I hurled on the comforter and slammed myself into the bathroom.

So much for morning sex.

When I came out after brushing my teeth and hair and washing my face, I skulked over to my dresser and yanked open the drawer that held jeans and capri pants. Muttering to myself, I began pulling on pairs of jeans and tossing them to the side when the buttons and zippers wouldn't hold. Ranger watched all of this with a hint of a smile tugging on the corners of his luscious lips.

"Why don't you just dig out your old maternity clothes?" he finally asked me.

I blew out a sigh. "I donated most of them to the church's clothing drive a few months ago. Besides, I didn't even need maternity clothes until I was about fourteen weeks along with Samantha. _I'm only ten weeks!_"

Ranger got out of bed naked and padded over to me before pressing his front against my back and wrapping his arms around my waist. "How about you come take a nice hot shower with me, babe? You might feel better."

He was distracting me from my task at hand, which happened to be Operation: Find Clothes To Fit Stephanie. I groaned and leaned my head back against his shoulder as his hard length pulsed against the small of my back and the fingers of his right hand found a nipple. Screw the damn clothes operation. My new mission was Operation: Get Ranger Inside Stephanie's Body ASAP.

It was really hard to refuse his suggestion of a hot shower. Especially when his talented hand was doing such magical things. He pinched and rubbed my nipple until I was writhing against him, wet beyond belief and humming from the waist down. "A shower would be nice," I managed to get out. Chuckling against my neck, Ranger picked me up and threw me over his shoulder before walking us to the master bathroom and banging the door shut with his foot. At least he was still able to lift me. That made me feel a _lot_ better.

* * *

I slammed my bottle of water into the treadmill's cupholder and slung a towel over the handle. The time had come for Stephanie Plum-Manoso to get fit and healthy for her second pregnancy. No more overloads of Tastykakes and pineapple upside-down cake. No more Ben & Jerry's binges. From here on out, it was soup and salads and sandwiches, and low-fat frozen yogurt for dessert. In a last-ditch effort to further discipline myself and to give Ella a much-needed break, I'd told her about a week ago that I was going to try and take over preparing dinner, thinking I might learn how to prepare healthy gourmet meals for Ranger and I with the help of a cookbook and a couple of TiVoed Bobby Flay episodes.

Which quickly proved to be a disaster, because it turned out the only thing I was really capable of making were phone calls to Mike the Greek's and Pino's for delivery.

Ranger immediately put a stop to that and re-hired Ella to bring dinner up nightly. Thank God. The only thing from Pino's that Ranger allowed himself to put into his body was a green salad topped with grilled chicken and his usual tree bark and alfalfa sprouts, and he was starting to look a little green each time he heard me ordering it for him over the phone. The only things from Pino's that _I _allowed myself to put into my body were the extra-cheese pizza, meatball subs, and buffalo chicken wings (sans blue cheese dressing). And the indigestion that usually followed just wasn't worth it anymore.

I'd set Samantha up in her Pack n' Play nearby and had given her some toys and books to look at while I exercised. Since it was a Saturday morning, only a few of the weekend guys were lifting weights on the far side of the gym. I climbed up onto the stupid treadmill and started off at a slow walk, keeping an eye on the Pack n' Play. Sam was pressing buttons on her Fisher Price musical fishbowl and the little music was filtering towards my direction. She was happy and occupied for the time being. Okay. Time to get serious, Plum.

When I'd had enough of slowly plodding along and my legs felt good and warmed up, I bumped the treadmill up to a powerwalk. _This is good_, I thought. I could practically feel the fat melting off of my thighs. Yeah, right. But for some reason, knowing that I was exercising was sort of making me feel better already.

The door to the gym clicked open to my right and Dayna stomped through before slamming it behind her. She was carrying a water bottle and a towel. Her ten-week belly poked out from under the hem of her tight little tank top. Her facial expression was set to _not happy _and she spotted me before angrily heading my way.

Dayna Marrero-Santos yanked the emergency stop magnet off of my treadmill, brazenly grabbed a hold of my ponytail, and pulled my head down so that it was level with her face. I was too stunned to move.

"Of all the pregnancy talks we've had, Stephanie Plum-Manoso," she began, her voice low and threatening. "You've been warning me about what to expect, since you've done this before and the only real knowledge of pregnancy that I have came from a couple of textbooks and a sixteen-week clinical rotation down at a hospital in the dregs of Miami. The vomiting, the weird food cravings, the big boobs, the bloated belly. I kind of figured all of that would happen. But the _expanding ass_?" Dayna's teeth clenched. "I'm half-Cuban. I have a big ass, anyway. They run in my father's side of the family, so I can't really help it. But a little heads up would have been nice! Hey, Dayna. By the way: your thighs and your butt cheeks'll grow right along with the baby, so be prepared to -

I laughed. God help me, I laughed. I couldn't help it. She was just so cute. I watched Dayna's face turn an interesting shade of red and I _swore _I saw steam wisping out of her ears. She still had a death grip on my ponytail, but I was now laughing so hard no sound was coming out of me and tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. When I finally managed to open my eyelids, Dayna let go of my ponytail and, to my complete surprise, doubled over and began cracking up noiselessly.

"Steph," she choked out. "I can't - I'm not - I'm actually glad you didn't take me seriously."

"But your face," I managed to get out between loud guffaws. "You were _so pissed_!"

Dayna wiped a tear from her cheek. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," she gasped, trying hard to control her laughter. "And it's definitely not you that I'm mad at. It's just that I'm all up and down these days. Last night, I kicked Lester out of bed for practically no reason and felt so extremely sorry about it afterwards that I joined him out on the couch and we ended up sleeping there all night, squished together. Ugh, I just feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster and can't get off."

"Welcome to the club," I replied dryly. I took a couple of deep breaths and bent over to ease the ache in my side.

"It's just that none of my shorts and jeans and scrub pants seem to fit me anymore. I'm a little bummed out." She saw me giving her the_ yeah, right _glare. "Okay, a lot bummed out."

"Funny. I'm having that same problem. Nothing buttons or zips." I re-tied my ponytail and set my treadmill back to a slow walk.

"You're lucky," Dayna scoffed. She put her water and towel up on the treadmill next to mine and bent down to stretch her legs. "I'm not even able to _pull_ anything over my thighs or hips, let alone button or zip it!" She righted herself and we both turned towards the gym's door when we heard someone yank on the handle.

Lester banged his way into the gym wearing a tank top and gym shorts. Weight-lifting gloves poked out of the back pocket of his shorts. He was hooked up to his iPod and was mumbling along with the song that was playing. He approached us and wordlessly wrapped Dayna into his arms, still mouthing the words to the tune he was listening to. She popped one of his earphones out and gave him a sarcastic smirk.

"My butt is expanding, Lester," she lamented to him. "I'm a little upset about this." Lester sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as he looked behind her to check it out. Lester Santos, Ass Inspector.

"Mmmmm," he groaned, his eyelids fluttering shut as he reached around to Dayna's bottom and grasped one of her cheeks in his huge hand, causing her to gasp and smile. "I'm not. I'm seriously loving it. Sexy as _hell_."

"Yeah?" Dayna asked him, grinning wider. She molded herself flush against his front and slid her hands up his back and into his short, thick mussed spikes before pulling his face down to hers.

"_Fuck _yes," Lester murmured against her lips before capturing them with his and eliciting a groan from her throat when his tongue swept inside her mouth. His hands slowly slid from Dayna's ass up her back, underneath her tank top. Dayna pulled away from him breathlessly, casting an embarrassed glance up in my direction.

"Um, baby..." she whispered to Lester, nudging his chest. "Later."

I stared down at them. "You guys really have no shame, do you?"

Dayna grinned wickedly and shrugged. "I know this may sound a little arrogant, but when your man is this fine," she began, throwing a thumb in Lester's direction, "it's hard to keep your hands off of him. You should know, Steph."

Yes, I sure as hell did.

Les chuckled lightly and gave Dayna's butt cheek one last lustful squeeze. "I'm gonna go do some reps with the free weights. You two stay here on the treadmills and try to work off those pregnancy rolls." He took off across the gym, jogging over to where Cal and Ram were pumping iron.

"Jerk," Dayna and I called after him. She climbed onto her treadmill and we both took off at a fast powerwalk pace.

"We should make a pact to exercise at least four times a week until we deliver," Dayna said, swinging her arms side to side enthusiastically.

"Sounds like a plan," I replied excitedly.

Exactly five minutes after starting our powerwalk, Dayna and I simultaneously whipped the emergency stop magnets off of our treadmills and collapsed onto the gym mats, panting heavily with our chests heaving.

"Screw this," I gasped out. "I'll stick to eating better. And having sex to get exercise."

"Yeah," agreed Dayna. "Let's go to the mall and just get some bigger pants. No amount of healthiness is worth this kind of torture. My lungs are on fire. I haven't worked out much since I started here at RangeMan last year. And when I wanted to lose five pounds to fit better into my wedding dress."

"Want to see if Lula feels up to doing some maternity-clothes shopping?"

"Sure."

* * *

Lula was sitting in the backseat of my latest vehicle courtesy of Ranger, a black Mercedes GL550 SUV, with the overhead air conditioning vent blowing full-force onto her sweaty face and neck. She was decked out for our shopping trip in an authentic fake-fur vest and a pair of shocking green stretch pants. A large shocking green bow was tied into her hair, which happened to be back to its original color of black and curled into tight ringlets.

I felt like a total simp compared to her. Dayna and I were still in our workout clothes, but we'd added warm-up jackets. Leave it to Lula to be overdressed. Well, _under_dressed, depending on how you looked at it. The fake-fur vest didn't do much to conceal her basketball boobs and protruding poochy abdomen.

"I need an igloo," Lula exclaimed. "When's the weather supposed to start changin'? It's already October."

"Lula, it's sixty-five today," replied Dayna. She shivered in the passenger's seat next to me and pulled her warm-up jacket tighter against her chest after closing her air vents.

"Feels like ninety-five." Lula harrumphed and crossed her arms.

She sure was moody. I suspected it was because Tank and Hal had left for New York immediately after Bobby and Ana's wedding reception dinner the night before and still hadn't returned. Rodney Carmichael, a high-bond customer of Vinnie's, had gone FTA and was reported to be hiding out in a Yonkers housing project with his grandmother. I'd overheard several naughty references to Brown Bear Lovin' throughout the previous evening, both at White Wedding and at the Hard Rock. It was safe to assume that the Lovin' has been effectively put on hold until Tank comes back into town, whenever that may be. Lula was probably in a state.

I swung the Mercedes into the parking lot of the Quaker Bridge Mall and squealed to a stop in a front-row parking space. "Everybody out," I annouced. I loaded a sleeping Samantha into her stroller and stuffed her diaper bag in the mesh bin beneath the baby seat. We all grabbed our shoulder bags and trooped in through the Macy's entrance.

When we reached the shoe department, however, we officially lost Lula. Rows and rows of marked-down clearance footwear stood between her and Dayna and I. Lula began wading through the racks, her eyes as big as soup tureens and her mouth slightly ajar as she scanned the matched pairs of bargain heels.

"Forget it," Dayna said, nudging me. "She's gone. Let's get something to eat at the food court and then go to Motherhood Maternity."

I sighed and said loudly, "Okay, let's do that. I could _really go for a gyro_."

Lula's head snapped up at the mention of _gyro_ and she bustled towards where Dayna and I stood. "Gyro? I could go for a gyro."

"I thought so."

When the last bite of Greek lamb wrap had been eaten and the last sip of Sprite had been slurped up, we threw our trash away and began meandering towards Motherhood Maternity. We stood in the store's entrance, trying to decide where to start after a saleswoman had greeted us.

"Pants," Dayna said immediately. She made a beeline for the jeans and began loading several pairs into her arms.

"Shorts," I said, zipping Samantha's stroller over to a rack holding several cute pairs in different colors.

"Mini-skirts and dresses with feathers," Lula announced. Store chatter ceased completely and seven pairs of eyes bore holes into the back of Lula's head. She stared back at everybody, wide-eyed. "Um, I meant pants."

After canvassing the store for nearly an hour, we all squished ourselves into a dressing room and began hanging up everything we wanted to try on. I hung up a few pairs of shorts and a couple pairs of capri pants. Lula hung up a few dresses (sans feathers) and some tasteful wraparound maternity shirts. Dayna hung up a couple pairs of jeans and several pieces of...lacy lingerie.

Lula whistled. "Damn, Sexy ain't gonna know what hit him when he gets a load of you in those getups."

"Didn't we give you enough of that stuff at your bachelorette party three months ago?" I asked Dayna, pointing to the lacy red teddy and three pairs of black lace panties.

She nodded. "Truthfully, it's a little worn-out. A lot of it is ripped and torn and frayed."

"Why?" asked Lula, confused.

"Because she's married to Lester Santos, that's why," I replied, rolling my eyes and smiling. Dayna grinned wickedly and absentmindedly rubbed the swell of her rounded belly.

Lula nodded knowingly. That answer was apparently enough for her.

We each took turns behind the changing screen in the dressing room, modeling things and cracking up when certain items were too big or too small. Things were going well until Lula emerged from behind the changing screen decked out in tight leopard-print stretch pants, a matching leopard-print wraparound top, and a zebra-striped shawl. She looked absolutely atrocious, especially after trying on all kinds of cute things that fit her so well.

"What the hell is that?" Dayna asked, her eyes bugged out. "Did they maim half the animals at the Staten Island Zoo just to make that outfit?"

Lula scoffed. "You're just jealous because you can't pull this off, Lady Santos," she exclaimed. She twirled in front of the mirror and fondly patted the shocking green bow still tied in her hair. "This here's an original. Authentic maternity wear for us full-figured women."

I couldn't believe that Motherhood Maternity even stocked those kinds of clothing.

"Lula, come on. Get serious. You aren't actually thinking about buying that outfit, are you?" I asked her.

She looked taken aback. "I'd better give Batman a call and tell his ass to stick it to you as soon as you walk through the door when we get back to Haywood. You need to get some."

"I get it plenty, thank you."

That did it. I was going to strangle Lula with her shocking green hair ribbon.

* * *

Ranger called my cell when we were on our way home.

"Babe," he said as soon as I'd answered. "Got a lead on Katarin Restrepo, thanks to one of your searches that you did for me earlier in the week. I'd like you to come with me to Hamilton Township on surveillance tonight, if you want."

"Sure, I'll go," I said. "But what about the baby?"

Dayna leaned over and nudged me. "I'll take her," she mouthed to me.

"Nevermind," I said to Ranger. "Dayna'll take her."

"It's nothing dangerous," Ranger informed me. "I just need to ensure that Restrepo lives at the address listed on her search file. I'm out of other ways to find out and that leaves me with surveillance as my only other option. You and I will watch the front, Santos and Ramos'll have the back. She's due back to her townhouse between ten and ten-thirty tonight. When we've got a positive ID on her location, we can then set up a sting for another time and go from there."

"Okay," I replied. "I'll be home in about thirty. Love you."

I could practically feel Ranger grinning over the phone line. "Love you too, babe," he husked out.

The lowered tone of his voice promised a thousand different dirty things. Lula was right. I needed to get some. Batman had succeeded at turning me into a complete and total nympho.

* * *

My eyes were trained on the tail lights of Lester's Escalade directly in front of us. The night had darkened significantly and Ranger and I followed behind Les and Ram in silence. He was behind the wheel of his Denali, sitting next to me in his "driving zone."

I hated his "driving zone." As soon as he slipped into it, I wanted to drag him back out and force him to converse with me.

Suddenly, the image of Dayna seducing Santos with sexy lingerie popped into my mind and a horrible thought crossed my mental pathways.

"Ranger?" I countered.

"Babe," he grunted, eyes still focused on the road ahead, his right forearm draped over the steering wheel and the other resting on the window frame. He was wearing a tight black tank top and baggy black cargoes. His hair was starting to grow out, pushed back off of his forehead with soft-hold gel. A diamond stud poked out of each of his earlobes. I wanted to rape him.

"Am I still sexy pregnant?"

Ranger turned his head to face me and the corners of his lips quirked up into the beginnings of a smile.

"Fishing for compliments, babe?"

I shook my head. "No, I really want to know what you think."

"I'll let you know as soon as we're in position in front of Restrepo's townhouse."

"Fine," I huffed, as he grinned and turned back to the road, once again slipping into silence.

Ten minutes passed. Lester put his blinker on and slowly pulled off of the main road and onto a residential street in the upscale outskirts of Hamilton Township. Ranger and I followed as he cruised into an un-gated neighborhood of newly built yellow brick townhomes, slowing down when a small cul-de-sac loomed into view. Lester pulled to a stop in the cul-de-sac and Ranger drove up beside him before rolling down my passenger window.

"It's two streets over," Lester said from his open window, decked out in clothes identical to Ranger's and a black White Sox cap backwards on his head. "Three-sixteen Rosebush Avenue. We'll be in the alley behind the house in case Restrepo decides to come in through the back entrance."

"Ten-four," replied Ranger. "Steph and I will be two houses down, across the street and hidden behind those large juniper shrubs near the road. Switch your wire on, Santos. Do a mic-check as soon as you and Ramos are in position."

I watched as Lester positioned the receiver to his wire and nodded his assent to Ranger. He pulled the Escalade out of the cul-de-sac and drove to the end of the street before making a left. Less than two minutes later, I heard his voice filtering into my ear.

"Sound check," Lester announced. Ram, Ranger, and I all chorused our "checks" and "heres" and Ranger took off slowly down the street until we were parked two houses down from three-sixteen Rosebush.

"We're in position," Ranger said to the guys. "Let's hurry up and wait."

Ranger unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to me before drawing my face to his with his warm hands. He pressed his full, luscious lips to mine and slowly worked his mouth against me until I was moaning uncontrollably and wet beyond belief. He pushed his hot tongue between my lips to better taste me and gripped my face tighter as he fought to control his his lust. His hand made its way up to my breast and he flattened his palm, moaning when he felt my nipple, hard and hungry for his touch, in the center of it. Ranger moved to lick the shell of my ear and pulled back from me, breathless.

He leaned his forehead against mine to get a hold on his heavy breathing. "Does that answer your earlier question?" he gritted out, his voice thick with sexual desire.

I could only nod as I moved to kiss him again, relishing the feel of his soft lips pressed against my mouth and feeling his heart pound through the thin ribbed fabric of his tight black tank top.

"Ranger," I whimpered into his ear. Ranger reluctantly dragged his lips away from my throat and panted against my sweaty neck.

"Babe..._Dios_, I want you so fucking bad. But we have to keep an eye out for Restrepo. If she slips through my fingers because they were occupied deep inside of your fucking gorgeous body, I might as well consider her a lost cause and call it a night."

I felt myself gush at his words. "Always the job, Batman." I grinned at him and pulled my bra back over my breasts. "I'll get you later."

"Damn that," Ranger growled against my lips. "You'd better be ready, Stephanie. You're playing with fire tonight. I hope you realize that." Ranger grabbed the back of my head and roughly pushed his tongue into my mouth. "Playing with fucking fire."

I chuckled and sat back in my seat. "It's nice to see that I can unnerve you with something so simple as a few words."

Lester's voice crackled over the two-way and he cleared his throat. "Everything okay in there?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked him as nonchalantly as I could manage. I froze. Shit. Ranger and I had clearly forgotten that we were all wired with the new two-ways. The ones that didn't require you to push a button to talk. The clear plastic coils attached to our receivers had a mic somewhere in them that picked up every word we said.

"Because if you're playing with fire, you'd better be careful that you don't get burned, beautiful." Lester laughed.

"Santos," Ranger warned menacingly, slouching in the leather driver's seat and running his hands through his silky black hair. "Forget you heard any and all of the aforementioned banter or I'll fire you right fucking now."

Ram spoke up. "Consider it forgotten, Bossman. Damn, Santos, is it me or did the temperature in here just go up about ten degrees?"

"Ramos..." growled Ranger.

"Sorry, Boss. That's all I got. I'm done, I promise."

"Hey, Steph," Lester spoke up. "What did Dayna buy at the mall today? All she showed me were a couple of pairs of jeans and some maternity shirts. She had another bag that she refused to open, though. She just shoved it in our closet. Do you have any idea about what could be in there?"

I smirked at Ranger. I turned to face him and tugged on my bra strap and reached down to flash him my panties. Ranger got the message and stifled a laugh. Dayna was obviously hiding her sexy new lingerie from Lester until she was able to model it for him. And I had absolutely no doubt that he wouldn't tear the new stuff off of her, either.

"Um, no, Les. Sorry," I replied.

"That's okay," he said. "She put the bag in our closet. I'll just look in there when I get home."

"No, don't! I mean, maybe it's a surprise. You know...for you."

"I hate surprises. Fuck it, I'm looking."

"Dayna will kill you."

Lester let out a bark of throaty laughter. "Can't say I'd mind. The last time she threatened to destroy me I came so hard I nearly passed the fuck out. Believe me, it'll be worth it."

Ranger licked his lips and smiled before answering, "What'd you get her to do to you, man?"

"Everything. She did every-fucking-thing to me, and I didn't even have to tell her what I wanted. Ladies and gentlemen, my wife is fucking _amazing_. Christ, I couldn't walk for two fucking days."

"Hell, _yeah_," I heard Ram exclaim, a smile in his voice.

My cheeks flamed and I did a slow burn in the passenger's seat, humming from the waist down. I desperately wanted Restrepo to show up so that Ranger and I could go back to Haywood and I'd get the chance to turn _him_ into a cripple for two days.

My prayers were answered. As soon as my brain had finished entertaining that erotic thought, a pearl white Range Rover pulled up into the driveway to three-sixteen Rosebush and the engine was cut. I got out the night vision binoculars to get a gander. A young Hispanic woman dressed in a barely-there cocktail dress exited the driver's side and slammed the door behind her before strolling up the front path.

"Range Rover just pulled up," Ranger said to the guys. "A woman just got out."

"It's Restrepo," I confirmed, still peering through the binoculars. "Positive ID. I recognize her from her background search picture."

Katarin Restrepo reached into the mailbox attached to her front door and began sifting through the stack of envelopes that was inside. I watched her open a few and her brows furrowed as she read. She suddenly ripped up the papers that were in the envelopes she'd torn into and carted the rest of the unopened mail through the storm door and into her townhouse.

"Affirmative," Lester said. "We'll meet you out on the main road."

"Ten-four." Ranger fired up the Denali and put it into gear. Just as he was about to hit the gas, a flashy black Lincoln Navigator made its way down Rosebush Avenue and stopped in front of Restrepo's townhouse. As much as I hated to prolong getting Ranger naked and flat on his back on our mattress, I knew I had a duty to at least stay and see who climbed out of the Navi.

"Wait," I said, putting a hand on Ranger's arm. "Don't go anywhere." I put the night vision binoculars back up to my eyes.

The Navigator slowly pulled into Restrepo's driveway and the headlights were cut as the driver's side door opened. A dark male figure dressed in a black dress shirt and black dress pants exited the SUV and slammed the door shut before beeping the alarm remote. The man turned to look at the street and I was momentarily afraid that he'd see me staring at him with binoculars through the windshield, but I quickly realized that the Denali was hidden from view behind the tall juniper shrubs.

As the man continued to stare in our direction, I kept the binoculars trained on his face and was horrified to eventually find that it was Tank.

"Ohmigod," I gasped, lowering the binoculars and then quickly sticking them back up to my eyes again. Tank ducked to look at his reflection in the driver's side window of his Navi and brushed at a renegade wisp of one of his eyebrows. I watched in horror as he took some mints out of his pocket, popped a few in his mouth, and began to elegantly stride up the front path of Restrepo's townhouse. I thought he was supposed to be in New York with Hal!

"What?" Ranger hissed earnestly. "What, babe?" Ranger took the binoculars from me and plastered them up against his driver's side window. He let out a long, slow breath when he realized the identity of the hulking muscular stranger in black.

"Tank's paying a visit to Katarin Restrepo. And it looks social!" I stage-whispered to Ranger.

Ranger just shook his head. "_Shit._"

* * *

**TBC...what's old Tankie up to? Fraternizing with the enemy? Lol Poor Steph and Dayna, their bodies are changing and they're clearly not handling it all that well but their men are loving it. Oh, well, it comes with the territory! And Lula is dealing with severe hot flashes and a lack of Brown Bear Lovin'. Please let me know how you're liking the story so far! Con mucho amor, Jill  
****  
P.S. - Lester and Dayna asked me to tell you all that they're sorry if they've embarrassed any of you with their sexual exploits. They just can't help it. And you probably wouldn't be able to either, if you were married to Sexy Lester Santos!...Ranger and Steph, however, just hope you still think they're a hot couple.**


	8. Before He Cheats

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**I know you're all dying to find out if Tank's being a bad boy. Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews. Sorry to keep you in suspense over this! **

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_"What?" Ranger hissed earnestly. "What, babe?" Ranger took the binoculars from me and plastered them up against his driver's side window. He let out a long, slow breath when he realized the identity of the hulking muscular stranger in black._

_"Tank's paying a visit to Katarin Restrepo. And it looks social!" I stage-whispered to Ranger._

_Ranger just shook his head. "Shit."_

_

* * *

_

Tank disappeared from view behind a large shrub near Katarin Restrepo's front door, presumably ringing her doorbell and preparing to enter her townhouse. I saw red. I just couldn't believe it. I didn't think he'd _ever_ do something like this to Lula. And with someone as dangerous and as taboo as Katarin Restrepo, none the less. I angrily thumped my fist on the dash of the Denali just as Ranger put the night-vision binoculars back up to his eyes.

From the background searches I'd performed earlier in the week, I learned that Katarin Restrepo is a liaison between a hard-core Latino street gang called MG-55 and another gang out of New York called the Brooklyn Bloodhoundz. She's also a well-known high-class escort and has lately been dabbling in the illegal business transactions of narcotics and assorted firearms. She'd been arrested by the FBI and released not too long ago, having been charged with tampering of evidence and withholding information from officials.

Prior to her arrest, several witnesses to MG-55 and Bloodhoundz crimes had mysteriously disappeared and vital case information had vanished. Then two Bloodhoundz members placed Restrepo at the scene of a witness's recent decapitation, so another warrant for Restrepo's arrest has been issued due to the FBI needing to question her further regarding the latest gruesome development. Restrepo must have been feeling the heat because she still hasn't come forward and the Feds, along with several local PDs, have yet to detain her. That's why RangeMan was hired to seek her out and bring her back into the court system. The best of the best.

"Looks like we've got company," Ranger murmured after awhile. He had the binoculars trained on another black SUV that was slowly creeping down Rosebush Avenue and pulling to a stop several houses down, facing us. The SUV's headlights were cut off then, once again leaving the street dark and silent. "It's Cal and Woody." Ranger lowered the binoculars and fished around in the cup holder of the center console for his cell. When he finally located it under a wad of paperwork, he hit a button to illuminate the screen and his eyes went wide. "Fuck!"

"Ranger, this is getting weird." I glanced nervously at Cal's Expedition. "What's going on?"

Ranger opened his mouth to answer me but when he took note of the mess that was his recent calls roster, he angrily clamped it shut, jaw twitching. I watched him do a five-count before he pried open his teeth to speak again. "Seven missed calls from Control, five from Tank's cell, and three from Cal." He turned the phone on its side and saw that the ringer was switched over to vibrate. "Shit. My phone's been on silent this whole fucking time."

No wonder Ranger was mad. It was completely unlike him to neglect his cell phone. Usually he answered his calls on a Bluetooth earpiece to avoid this kind of occurrence, but never while he was on surveillance or out on field ops because he was already wired with a two-way receiver.

Ranger dialed Cal's cell on speakerphone. "Steph and I are parked behind those juniper bushes in front of you and Woody," he said, once Cal had answered. Ranger quickly flashed the Denali's headlights to prove his point. "What the hell is Tank doing at that townhouse? We've just verified it as crazy Katarin Restrepo's current location because we saw her pull into the driveway in that white Range Rover and go inside just a few minutes ago. I'm almost _afraid_ to call Tank's cell because God knows what the fuck he's doing in there with her. I haven't spoken to him since he brought Rodney Carmichael into NYPD headquarters earlier this afternoon because I somehow missed all of his calls after he and Hal got back into town. Are you and Woody tailing him to see if he's fucking around on his wife?"

"Bossman, we've been trying to reach you for over an hour. None of us could get a hold of any of you on your cells so we decided to just go ahead and move in on Restrepo earlier than you'd planned. Control got a call from the informant about an hour ago, right after you and Santos and Ramos left the building to go do Restrepo surveillance. The guy stated that Restrepo was set to leave LaGuardia for Honduras indefinitely, sometime tonight. We knew we needed to get to her before she disappeared, so it was either that or get the U.S. Marshals involved in order to make the capture if we happened to locate her outside of the United States. Tank's in there right now, setting her up."

I felt myself let out a relieved whoosh of air. Tank was on a sting, not a booty call.

"You tried to contact Santos and Ramos to tell them this when you couldn't get a hold of me?" Ranger barked to Cal. "And Stephanie?"

"Santos and Bomber weren't answering their cells. And I found Ramos's cell phone earlier on the floor of the underground garage, next to Santos's parking space."

The rustle of clothing and Ram's frustrated voice came through my two-way receiver just then. "Shit, my phone," he grumbled over the airwaves, just as I realized that I'd forgotten to put my own phone into my shoulder bag before I left the apartment with Ranger. Unh. Mental head slap.

"We've just confirmed that townhouse as belonging to Katarin Restrepo," Ranger told Cal. "We were about to roll out when Tank showed up in the Navigator, so we stayed behind to investigate. Ramos and Santos were watching the back of the house and are probably still parked in the alley one street over. We'd been waiting for Restrepo to arrive here so we could verify this as her residence. Once we became certain that she lived here, I figured we'd go back to h.q. and set up an op to move in on her maybe tomorrow. But now according to the informant that Control spoke to earlier, she may not be here tomorrow. By the way, how did you and Tank and Woody know for sure that she'd be at this location?"

"We actually followed her here from Angel Linares's chop-shop warehouses near Stark and Riverside Boulevard. Some kind of shady nightclub slash drug and weapon sales operation just opened up back there and the place was crawling with MG-55 members. The informant placed her at the nightclub and directed us, by phone, to the location and said Restrepo was preparing to leave so we'd better get there quick. And truthfully, we just went with it, Bossman. Took a chance, you know? Sorry to do all this without your authorization," Cal grumbled, "but we felt like we really didn't have a choice if we wanted to get Restrepo before it was too late."

"Ramos and I just heard everything that was said between you and Santiago on speakerphone over the two-way radio," Lester informed Ranger and I through our earpieces. "Whatever goes down with Restrepo, count us in." As soon as he said that, Ranger and I saw Lester's Escalade pulled up behind Cal's Expedition and Les cut the headlights.

Ranger sighed. "Just a big miscommunication, man," he said to Cal. "Don't worry about it now. Santos and Ramos just parked behind you and are aware of what's going on. Just tell me how is Tank setting her up in there so we know how to approach the situation."

Cal replied, "He's posing as a gun runner interested in purchasing some black-market arms. And maybe a little piece of ass while he's at it." _Okay, so that explained why Tank had fluffed his eyebrows and popped a few Ice Breakers before strolling up Katarin's front path,_ I thought. "When he's got her guard good and lowered and he's sure she won't pull a gun or knife on him, he'll make his move and detain her. Woody and I were going to hide outside in the bushes near the front door and wait for him to bring her out. He's wired. Woody and I have him tuned into our two-ways. So do Binkie and Hal back in Control. The plan was to take Restrepo to the FBI's Newark headquarters in my Expedition and Tank would pick up his Navigator later on."

"Is Tank armed?" questioned Ranger.

"A pistol and cuffs are hidden under his dress shirt."

"Can he hear you?" Ranger asked.

"He's just got a mic. No receiver."

"Fuck." Ranger ran his hand through his hair and slammed a fist down on the steering wheel. "Aiight, a little change of plans. Here's what's going to go down. Santos and Ramos and I will cover the front door and front windows of the townhouse and wait for Tank to secure Restrepo. When we know for sure that he's got her on lockdown, we'll bust inside and take over from there. We'll get her in my truck and Tank and Santos will ride to Newark with Steph and I. Ramos will take Santos's truck to RangeMan headquarters and you and Woody follow him back. But for now, stay hidden in the Expedition and listen in to Tank's wire. Any issues, call my cell. Steph has it with her in the Denali. She and I are wired with Santos and Ramos." Ranger turned up the volume on his two-way. "Santos, Ramos. Did you copy that?"

"Ten-four, Bossman," Lester said over the radio. "Let's do this."

Ranger disconnected from Cal and took his Glock out of the center console before jamming it into the waistband of his cargoes. "I wasn't planning on doing this tonight, but I guess there's no time like the fucking present."

Ram must have heard that over the radio, because he sneered, "Restrepo's considered armed and extremely dangerous. And with our luck she'll probably be PMSing, too."

"Fuckin' A," Lester grumbled in agreement.

Ranger kissed me quickly before he slunk out of the Denali. "Do NOT get out of this vehicle," he growled, standing beside my open passenger's side window. He handed me his cell. "Listen in on your two-way. You've got my phone just in case."

"I love you. Be careful," I told him.

"Love you, too, babe." Ranger grabbed the back of my head and pulled my lips to his, kissing me deeply and passionately. "Mmmm. Later."

"Later," I agreed. I returned his wicked grin and rolled my window up as I watched him sneak across the street to Lester's SUV.

The relief I felt after learning that Tank wasn't cheating on Lula was immense, but I couldn't help worrying myself silly over Ranger and the guys' safety. Katarin Restrepo was known to be manipulative and sly, cunning and guiltless. I knew she wouldn't think twice about pulling a gun on any of the men. My main fear, though, was for Tank. He was currently sharing air space with her, armed with only one weapon and hardly any means of communication with anyone on the outside. He'd recently gotten married to my good friend. He had a baby on the way. And he was tangoing with a homicidal prostitute who happened to be deeply involved with two of the most dangerous gangs to ever run the streets of North, Central, and South America.

I watched through the night-vision binoculars as Lester and Ram skulked out of the Escalade and huddled to one side with Ranger. Lester adjusted the receiver of his wire and lifted the hem of his tank top to pull out the Glock he had tucked into the waistband of his cargoes. Ram chambered a round in his pistol and slid leg irons into a hook on his utility belt. Ranger led the way out from behind the Escalade and stealthily up the driveway of Restrepo's townhouse. Several of Restrepo's neighbors, probably upon seeing our vehicles and a bunch of SWAT-type guys arming themselves for some good old-fashioned fugitive mayhem, had grouped together tightly a few doors down and were watching silently with worried expressions.

"Go-time," I heard Lester growl. I lost sight of them as they scattered themselves throughout Restrepo's front bushes and hid amongst the lush yard vegetation.

What seemed like a million years passed by before I finally heard muffled shouting over the wire. Ranger, Ram, and Lester had muscled their way into the townhouse and a barrage of yelling and passionate cursing from Lester and Ram blasted into my ear as soon as I heard Tank make the arrest inside. I couldn't quite make out much of what anyone was saying, but I knew for sure that it wasn't, "Hey, how are you, Katarin? Care to join us for a ride up to FBI headquarters?"

I jumped when I recognized the_ bang _of the storm door being slammed open and immediately trained the night-vision binoculars on the front entrance of Restrepo's townhouse to get a better look as they all came out. I was absolutely relieved to see an un-harmed Tank exit the house first, followed by Ranger and Ram, both with their guns trained on Restrepo as Lester dragged her through the front door. Katarin was trussed up in leg irons and cuffs and was squirming violently to get out Lester's vise grip. She somehow managed to connect her knee with Santos's belly and the look on his face told me that if he would have been able to get away with it, he'd have broken her in half right then and there. Katarin's skimpy mini-skirt had ridden up and was currently snagged around her tiny waist. Her long black hair was tangled into a rat's nest. She was obviously drugged up on God-knows-what. And to top it off, she was _pissed_.

I switched off my wire and pulled out the receiver before shoving everything into the center console. I watched Ram climb into Lester's Escalade and take off for RangeMan headquarters, followed by Cal and Woody in the Expedition. The crowd of neighbors dispersed into the night. Tank and Lester hauled Katarin across the street to the SUV I was sitting in and Ranger hoisted himself up into the driver's seat before turning over the engine. Lester and Tank shoved Katarin into the backseat and climbed in after her. Tank slammed the door shut behind them and yanked Katarin's leg irons over to the hook in the floor to secure her to the seat.

"Drive," Lester commanded darkly.

Ranger rammed the Denali into gear and took off for I-95. The ride up to FBI headquarters in Newark would take us a little over an hour, and I was perfectly fine with sitting quietly in my chair for the entire duration. I sat silently in the passenger's seat, not wanting to look back at Katarin Restrepo but really not able to help it. I discreetly checked her out in the side mirror. She was older, in her early forties, and had been lasered and Botoxed to near twenty-year-old perfection but her true age still stood out amidst the fine lines that surrounded her glassy, blood-shot eyes. She caught me staring at her and smiled a sick, knowing smile that sent chills up my spine. It was the smile of a cold-blooded killer.

Restrepo's shady gaze shifted to Lester, to her left. Tank was on her right. Lester was staring blankly ahead, not paying her any attention as he rubbed his aching abs. His apparent lack of interest in her seemed to bother Katarin greatly.

"I should have known better to think that you'd still be single," she drawled to Lester in a thick Hispanic accent. She leaned down to get a closer look at the platinum wedding band around his ring finger.

"You're right," he growled, glaring at her out of the corner of his eye. "You should have."

Katarin reached her face up and ran her tongue from Lester's chin to his pulse point before he managed to duck away. "Mmmm. You're yummy. It must be such temptation for you to have a real woman put her mouth on you for a change."

Quick as a cat, Lester cocked his nine and jammed the barrel into Katarin's jugular. He spoke low and rough to her, his full lips brushing the shell of her ear as gritted out, "The only woman I want licking my fucking neck is ten weeks pregnant and a _hell _of a lot sexier than you are."

Restrepo gave an evil bark of laughter and leaned her head back on the middle seat, her eyelids fluttering shut in drug-induced euphoria before she passed out completely.

"Somebody get me a fucking antibacterial wipe," demanded Lester. It was going to be a hell of a long drive to Newark.

* * *

Ranger and I finally slogged through the door to our apartment at a little after two in the morning. We'd stopped at Dunkin' Donuts in Newark to get Ranger some black coffee to keep him awake for the trip back, and the rest of us had each ended up with some kind of sugar or caffeine-loaded treat.

I was giddy from the nervousness and excitement of the night's activities and no doubt from the super-sweet Watermelon Coolatta I'd slurped down earlier. Dayna was lying on the couch in the living room, absentmindedly channel-surfing on the plasma. Sam's baby monitor was sitting on the coffee table in front of her, little snores emitting from the speaker. Dayna sat up quickly when she saw Ranger and I enter the living room.

"I'm so glad you guys are okay," she exclaimed, jumping up and rushing over to me. She folded me into her arms and squeezed me tightly. When she released me, Ranger kissed my cheek and went down the hall to our bedroom, stripping off gear on his way.

"We're fine," I sighed. "Tank's fine. Lester's fine." He just got his neck licked by our whack-job fugitive, that's all.

"I heard all about the takedown from Ram and Cal downstairs," Dayna exclaimed. "And about Tank setting up Katarin Restrepo. But you guys did really great. Les called me from the car while you and Ranger were in line at Dunkin' Donuts. He said you thought Tank was cheating on Lula!"

I had to laugh, now that everything was all over and done with. "When I saw Tank pull up to Restrepo's townhouse and then fluff his eyebrows before popping mints, I seriously thought the worst. It looked pretty bad, you know? Tank's a good guy. It was hard to imagine him fooling around with another woman."

"He'd have to have a death wish to do that to Lula, anyway," added Dayna. "She'd morph into rhino-mode and kick his ass from here to Egypt."

"By the way, I appreciate you staying with Samantha." I smiled. "Thank you."

"Anytime, Steph."

The front door opened and Lester poked his head in. "I'm looking for a really hot pregnant woman with long light-brown hair," he said to me. "About 5'7", blue-green eyes, luscious pink lips, big boobs, big ass...have you seen her?" He came all the way into the apartment and I noticed that the right side of his neck was red and flaming. He appeared to have just scrubbed the hell out of it with some kind of caustic chemical and a Brillo pad.

Dayna laughed. "Hey, you." Lester wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her gently. They were heading towards the front door when Dayna stopped short and pulled away from him. Her eyes went wide when she finally noticed his rubbed-raw collarbone and jawline. "What the hell happened to your neck, Lester?"

Les visibly cringed as he followed Dayna out of the apartment. "It's a really weird story, actually..."

I shut and locked the door after them, chuckling to myself. Now, where was my husband? I believed we had some unfinished business to...conclude.

Ranger emerged from our bedroom, fresh from a quick shower. He had his cell and keys with him. "I need to run down to my office for a few minutes, babe. I won't be long."

"Sure," I said, trying hard not to hide my disappointment. "I'll go get cleaned up, then." Ranger approached me and kissed my forehead before heading out the front door.

I guessed there was nothing better for me to do except take a shower, so I quickly checked on Samantha before heading into the master bathroom. I scrubbed and shampooed the grime of the last five hours off of me and took a pass at my legs with the razor before stepping out of the shower and wrapping myself in a fluffy bath towel. My mind drifted back to the kisses I'd shared with Ranger in front of Restrepo's townhouse and a groan escaped my throat as I felt the soft yet rough fabric of the bath towel rasp across my nipples. I really, _really_ wanted Ranger to come back upstairs. I had no idea how much longer he'd be and the thought of being sexually frustrated until he returned was none too pleasant.

My legs somehow carried me from the bathroom into the darkened bedroom and the wetness from between my legs was now starting to dampen the tops of my thighs. I let the towel slide down my body and the sensations the rough material caused as it moved over my skin had my nerves on heightened alert. I reached down to my folds and was shocked, and yet incredibly turned on, by the amount of moisture that my body had managed to accumulate there, even without Ranger being in the room. Unable to help myself, I slowly slid my finger from my tight opening to my swollen, throbbing clit and cried out as I imagined my digit as Ranger's, slipping its way across my sex and causing my lower half to tighten in anticipation.

I didn't realize that he'd come into the bedroom after me and had been watching what I was doing to myself. I sensed rather than heard him walk up behind me and groaned when he pressed the front of his naked form fully against my back. His breathing was quick and rough. His rock-hard length was throbbing into my lower back. His soft lips were hot against my bare shoulder. Without warning, he crushed my hips in his hands and forcefully pulled my body back into his. I cried out again, the pain of having him grip my skin so tightly turning me on more than I was willing to admit.

"Starting without me, babe?" Ranger's voice was a cross between a lustful growl and a harsh reprimand. I felt myself gush at his words and he released my hips, smoothing his hands over them softly to ease the dull ache left by his iron grasp. The slightly-calloused fingers of his right hand tripped their way down my abdomen and poked through my curls to my drenched folds. When he felt how wet I was, he groaned against my neck and reached his left hand up to my nipple, tugging it gently and rubbing it into a stiff pink nub. I couldn't take much more of his torture.

"Carlos," I whimpered. "Make me come."

Ranger's fingers slowly followed the path of what mine had done earlier, slipping and sliding from my opening to my swollen clit and eventually centering their actions there. Every one of my nerve endings were buzzing from his ministrations, leaving me pliable and lightheaded from the need for release. He gently manipulated my breasts and my center until I felt the incredible pressure of a huge orgasm begin to build deep in my lower half, coming at me full-speed like a freight train, and he took me over the edge, groaning my name against my neck as I thrashed and writhed against him. At last, his skillful fingers left my folds and came to rest on my bottom lip as I panted against him.

"Open for me, Estefanía." I did as he asked and Ranger slipped his digits into my mouth. I groaned as I tasted myself, mixed with an intoxicating blend of Bulgari and Ranger, and he turned me in his arms and drew my lips into his mouth. I felt his tongue slide against my own and he moaned when he tasted the combination of my body and his. He pulled away breathlessly and mapped kisses from my ear to my neck. "I have never seen anything so beautiful as watching your fingers move against your body like that, babe. That turned me on more than anything _ever_ has in my life. You are so gorgeous. Seeing you pregnant with my child makes me so hot for you that I can't stand it. I physically ache when I can't touch your soft skin or hold your body in my arms. Mi amante, you are the sexiest woman that I have ever laid my eyes or my hands on."

My only response to that was an immense need to be as close to him at that moment as I could possibly get. I wordlessly reached for his lips with my own and felt Ranger's hands slide down my body to rest on the swells of my bottom cheeks. His length was thick and hot, pressed into my stomach. My heart was unconditionally loving him and my body was weeping for more of his fiery touch. I needed all of him at that moment. Hard and fast.

"I don't need you to be careful with me tonight," I growled against his lips. Ranger pulled back from me and what flashed through his onyx eyes could only be described as pure desire and unrequited lust. A silent understanding of what I was asking of him went unsaid between us and his lips crashed down on mine, bruising my mouth and ripping a cry of intense passion from my throat.

I wanted him to fuck me. Hard.

My back hit the bed and Ranger came down on top of me, pinning my hips to the mattress and sucking on my collarbone with brute force. Throwing caution to the wind, he entered me quickly and slid in fully, causing my lips to scream his name as my body adjusted itself to his sudden delicious invasion.

"Tell me how you want it, babe," Ranger gritted out, resting his forearms on either side of my head and dipping his mouth to attack a swollen pink nipple. His length began pistoning in and out of me with ease as I moaned my pleasure into his shoulder. He increased the pressure of his thrusts and dragged up against my g-spot with each one.

"Like that," I gasped out, clutching the rippling muscles of his back and trying to pull him as close to me as humanly possible.

"Hard, like this?" Ranger slammed his hips into mine and bright white stars burst from behind my eyelids as my body prepared to contract around him.

"God, _yes_!" I wrapped my legs around his upper half as he pounded into me. My hands fisted in his hair as I dragged his lips to mine and felt his tongue roughly push into my mouth as he continued his amazing assault on my body. At last, I gave into the sensations his lips and his hard length were causing and I let go then, feeling the mounting pressure finally give in and the orgasm that followed was one of the most intense I'd ever felt. Ranger kissed the tears from my cheeks and continued to thrust through my contractions, slowing down only to keep himself from flying off the edge with me.

I sensed he was close when I felt his movements become more pronounced as he drove himself deeper and deeper into my body. His lips brushed the shell of my ear as he rasped out, "Come again for me, babe." Ranger put his hand between us and easily slid his thumb across my aching clit, immediately causing me to contract around him as his hot breath blasted onto my throat and he spilled his molten heat deep within my walls. He let out a groan and screamed my name into the pillows as we exploded together as one, each finding that the release was way more intense than we'd expected.

At last we lay still, listening to the sounds of each other's breathing become softer and softer. "That was _hot_, Stephanie." Ranger groaned and rolled to his side before gathering me in his arms. "Dios _mio_."

I really couldn't form any concievable words, so I settled on nodding and burying my face in his bare shoulder. "Mmmm."

"I meant what I said earlier," he told me softly, stroking my cheek. "You are so gorgeous. I sometimes still can't believe that you're mine."

I smiled and propped myself up on my elbows, staring into his eyes. "Well, believe it, Batman. You wanted me, so you've got me."

"That's right. I'm a Manoso. I always get what I want."

I smiled happily as I snuggled against his chest. Me, too.

* * *

"I heard from my granddaughter that you and the rest of your hot bounty hunters managed to capture Katarin Restrepo last week," Grandma said to Ranger. "All I can say is thank the good Lord. I was getting damn near sick and tired of hearing about her on the news every night."

Ranger nodded and spooned green beans onto his plate before replacing the casserole dish onto its trivet. "She's behind bars," he agreed. "The Feds indicted her on several counts of involvement in the murders of gang crime witnesses. As of right now, she's still not talking much but that could all change."

"I bet they'll beat it out of her," Grandma sneered, smiling evilly.

"Edna, the FBI doesn't beat," Ranger said seriously. "They...gently_ convince _with as little force as possible." Ranger waggled his eyebrows.

"I knew it," exclaimed Grandma. "They'll beat her. She probably deserves it." Katarin Restrepo did deserve a good beating. She killed innocent people. And she molested Santos. Then again nearly half of Trenton has, at one time, molested Santos. Maybe all those women had felt he needed some mothering.

Ella swung into the dining room then with a coffee carafe and refilled Uncle Manny's mug. "It's wonderful to have you, Mr. Manoso," she said to him. "Your nephew is just lovely. And Stephanie and her family as well, of course."

"Gracias, Señora Guzman," Manny said. "Yeah, they're all quite the hoot. And might I add that your roast chicken is the best I've ever tasted. So moist and flavorful."

Ella beamed and ducked out of the dining room to prepare dessert. I watched jealously flicker across my mother's face. _Uh oh_, I thought. _Not good_. She pressed her lips together so tightly that her whole face turned white. Ranger and I's housekeeper had managed to "out-roast" my mother's poultry-cooking skills and she was called out on it by an eighty-eight-year-old man. I pictured her and Ella, toiling over side by side broilers, faces flushed and hair in knots as they each worked hard to out-best each other in a rotisserie chicken contest. My mother took a gulp of her merlot and the color began to slowly return to her cheeks as the jealous looks dissipated. Whew, that was close. I was afraid I'd have to pull my mother off of Uncle Manny or Ella or both of them and call a truce.

"These green beans are the bomb," Lula spoke up around a mouthful of them. "I like all the garlic and chopped up bacon."

"Word," replied Grandma. She and Lula did a complicated ghetto handshake.

"Don't let me serve myself a second helping of them beans," Manny reminded everyone. "I'll have to take a Gas-X."

Tank immediately got up and took the green beans, along with their trivet, to the opposite end of the table. "Problem solved," he remarked as he scooted back into his chair, directly to Uncle Manny's right.

"Thank you, young man," my father said to Tank, from Manny's other side.

I cut one of my green beans into bite-sized pieces and placed them on the tray of Samantha's high chair. "I just realized that this is the first time we're getting together with Tank and Lula since Grandma and Manny's wedding," I exclaimed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my mother down another healthy swig of red wine at the mention of the wedding.

"Yeah," Lula agreed. "Congratulations. Looks like you found yourself a live one, Edna." She nodded towards Uncle Manny.

"Barely," I heard my father mutter. He suddenly took a great interest in the crescent roll on his dinner plate.

"So did you get your official marriage license paperwork all situated yet?" Lula questioned. She poured about a half gallon of Thousand Island dressing over her salad and dug in. Tank was watching her and was beginning to look a little queasy.

Grandma scoffed and cut into her roast chicken. "Marriage license," she grumbled to me. "I don't remember ever needing a damn license to marry your grandfather. I'll tell ya, these days you need a permit to do just about everything. Fish. Drive a car. Drive a boat. Carry around a damn gun. Have a garage sale. Build a shed on your own property. Next thing you know, you'll need somebody's permission in order to get pregnant!" Grandma shoved a piece of dark meat into her mouth and chewed.

My radar began humming. Marriage license._ Unh_. Mental head slap. I was willing to bet one year of Ranger's earnings that Grandma and Uncle Manny didn't have one.

"Wait a minute. I just realized something," I said. "In the state of New Jersey, and probably in every other state as well, you have to have a valid marriage license before getting married. And in Jersey, it has to be signed by the officiant and two adult witnesses immediately after the ceremony and then filed with the courts. Otherwise, the marriage isn't considered valid. Any Joe Schmoes can go off and have a wedding somewhere, but without a marriage license the nuptials aren't legal. And Ranger and I had to wait at least 3 days after applying for a license in order for it to even have been issued to us."

"Stephanie's right. You both just decided to do this on a whim," my mother pointed out to Grandma. "There was no time for you to obtain a marriage license from the courts."

That rogue eye twitch of mine was back. "Grandma...did the staff at White Wedding ask you if you even _had_ a license to get married?"

Grandma stopped eating and frowned. "They asked us if we had a license, yeah. Since I was a little tipsy from that shot of Jim Beam, I figured they meant driver's license so I just told them that we did, because Manny here has a driver's license. And I used to, before the damn court took mine away from me."

And what a shame that was. "But they didn't ask to see a valid marriage license before the officiant performed the ceremony?" I asked. What kind of scamming con-artists did they have working at that dive? I immediately began to worry about the validity of Bobby and Ana's marriage. Although I was certain that they had taken the necessary steps in order to obtain a license before their ceremony at White Wedding, I made a mental note to ask them about it as soon as they got back from Cabo San Lucas.

"Nope. Nada. Zilch. Nothing. They gave me a tux to change into, had a reverend come out and perform the nuptials at the little altar, and took our picture for their bulletin board out in the hallway. And all they gave us afterwards were a wallet-sized wedding photo and a bill for a hundred bucks," Manny said.

No signed marriage license. No proof that Grandma and Uncle Manny were legally bound in matrimony. This was possibly too good to be true.

"Then you're not legally married," Tank told Grandma and Manny. "I mean, you seriously got ripped off by that place, but no license or certificate means no valid marriage. Seems to me like it was just an unofficial ceremony that the place performed either to humor you or to get your hundred dollars. Like Steph said, anyone under the sun can have a wedding and say vows. But unless a valid marriage license is obtained beforehand and signed by the officiant, the couple isn't _legally_ married."

"Are you sure about this, Tank?" my mother asked him worriedly.

"I'm next to a hundred percent positive. You could call the Atlantic County courthouse just to be sure, though. I remember Lula and I having to go through this in order to get our marriage license."

My mother was so happy that she jumped out of her chair and tearfully hugged Tank for being the bearer of such great news. If possible, we no doubt would have seen his dark-chocolate skin blushing like a bride as he patted my mother's arm when she squeezed him to her front. Ranger looked like he was thinking about laughing but thought better of it when he saw Tank giving him the evil eye over my mother's shoulder.

"Well," my mother said brightly when she was back in her seat. "Did everyone hear that? The marriage isn't valid."

"Probably just as well, Helen," Uncle Manny spoke up, setting his napkin down next to his plate and teetering to a standing position. "I've sort of been seeing some gals from Tuesday night bingo, too, against my damn heart doctor's orders. Those young honeys'll probably be glad to hear that I didn't tie myself down like we all thought. Still got a lotta miles left on the old _corazón_, ya know? I guess I'd better go tell Harriet Fazzoli that I'll be over tonight, after all. Sorry, Edna. It was fun while it lasted, though."

"Sure," Grandma agreed weakly. She chugged her glass of red wine and, truthfully, was looking a little bit relieved. The rest of us, however, sat shell-shocked.

"I'll just have one of them big guys in black with the guns let me out of the building. I'm parked in the visitor's section of that spooky underground lot. This place is a pip, I tell you. So much security I feel like I'm locked up on ding-dang Rikers Island. Thanks for dinner." Manny clapped a hand on Ranger's shoulder and hobbled out the front door. When it had closed, everyone let out a collective deep breath.

"Well I never," sputtered my mother. Lula was purple from laughing so hard. Samantha joyfully hit Ranger with a piece of green bean. Tank was looking more and more uncomfortable by the second. And my father was regarding us all with excessive scrutiny, probably thrilled that he no longer had to share another meal with Ranger's old coot of a great great uncle.

"Good riddance," my father sneered to the closed front door.

"Your uncle is a man-whore!" I exclaimed, turning to Ranger. "I sure hope that little Manoso family trait stopped with him!"

Ranger chuckled and hugged me close to him before placing a kiss just below my ear. "Babe. Rest assured that no other male in my family is _anything_ like Uncle Manny. With the possible exception of my twenty-one-year-old cousin Rey."

"This is just fine and dandy," Grandma said to us, beaming smugly. "Harriett Fazzoli can't put out, anyway. She had to have most of her vagina cut out last year because of the cancer."

"So?" Lula scoffed. "She's still got a mouth and hands, don't she?"

Grandma carefully considered Lula for a minute. "Aw, crap."


	9. Monster Mash

**Sorry it took so long for an update...so here's chapter 9!**

I removed the ornately-decorated party invitation from its envelope and read aloud from the front of it: _"You're invited!"_

Before even opening the shiny 3x5 folded card, I knew exactly what _Mr. and Mrs. R. Carlos Manoso _were "invited" to. I excitedly opened the invitation and squealed when I read the first line. My suspicions were confirmed and I pumped my fist into the air. "_Yessss. _Time to go costume shopping." My voice caught Ranger's attention as he passed by the kitchen. He stopped short and headed over to me before wrapping his arms around my waist and proceeding to read aloud over my shoulder, murmuring into my ear:

"_It's that time of the season again, everybody! This year, the Trenton Police Department's Halloween Lock-Up will be held at the lovely yet mysterious Trenton Marriott and will be in the theme of Medieval Masquerade!" _Ranger paused his reading and took a moment to sigh quietly before continuing. _"Costumes and masks __are required __for all guests. The more creative, the better!_ _Hors d'oeuvres, dinner, __and alcoholic refreshments will be served. No children, please." _The invitation went on to give directions to the Marriott and a phone number to call to RSVP for the party.

"I'm guessing that it'll be the usual crowd," I remarked, tossing the invitation onto a stack of unopened mail. "Half of RangeMan and about two-thirds of the TPD. Not to mention most of the Burg. Anyone who's anything around this town gets invited to the Lock-Up."

"Better start thinking of a good costume," Ranger sang out. He pushed away from me and headed over to the fridge. "I think that this year you should make it_ really, really _sexy." He pulled out a bottle of water and shut the fridge. He leaned against it and flashed me a wolf-grin before sipping his water.

"As opposed to the last few years' costumes? Were they not skimpy enough for you, Ranger?" I challenged him, eyebrows raised. "Let's see. Last year, the theme was Totally 80's and I was Strawberry Shortcake. And the length of the skirt attached to the dress gave a whole new meaning to "Shortcake." The year before last, the theme was Career Day and I somehow ended up as the slutty nurse. We all know what kinds of fantasies swim around in the heads of men when they think of getting sponge baths from scantily-clad women in white smocks and caps. The first year that we went, the theme was cartoon characters and I was Snow White. And believe me, Walt Disney would have turned over in his grave if he were to have gotten an eyeful of the spin I put on his conservatively-dressed animated princess."

Ranger's eyes were shut and his wolf-grin got larger. "I'm remembering you in all those costumes," Ranger husked out. "They were definitely sexy enough."

"Funny. And no one ever really seemed to care much that all the skirts showed a little cheek," I teased him.

Ranger immediately snapped out of his daydream and focused his deep brown eyes on me. "That's because, each year, I warn my men ahead of time that if I catch them even so much as _glancing _below your neck, their ability to see may mysteriously disappear on the mats the next morning."

"Clearly, you didn't warn the rest of the guests," I joked, smirking. If Morelli, Carl Costanza, Big Dog, Keith Sullivan, and Chris Lambert worked for RangeMan instead of the TPD, they'd currently be traipsing around with large canes and seeing-eye dogs.

I detected a hint of the green-eyed monster emanating from Ranger's half-naked god form. Ranger was sexy when he was jealous. Ranger was sexy when he was _everything._

"Babe," he chided with a grin. "Not everything."

Damn ESP of his. "Yes. Everything." I watched as he slammed down his water bottle and began stalking over to me. Shrieking, I let him pick me up bride-style and carry me down the hall into our bedroom, shutting the door with his foot after us.

"Let me show you just how sexy I can be when I'm turned on," he growled, tossing me gently onto our bed and settling himself between my legs. He nipped up my jaw and ran his fingers lightly over my aching nipples.

No problemo.

* * *

Costume Scene was crowded to capacity with screaming kids and Halloween-happy adults, like myself and Lula. We blazed up and down the aisles at full speed with Samantha's stroller, loading it down with all of the outfits that we couldn't wait to try on. Tank and Ranger were in the men's costume section, speaking in hushed tones and quietly scanning the displays. The Lone Ranger and Tonto, ever calm and professional in public.

Ana hurried to keep up after Lula and I. "This sure is a big deal for you guys," she remarked as Lula tossed a pair of tie-dyed 70's bell bottoms onto the stroller. Samantha twisted her neck around to see what had been added to the pile on top of her stroller's sun visor and I could have _sworn_ I saw her little face grimace when she got a load of Lula's choice of pants.

"Hunh. Steph, tell her." Lula gestured towards Ana and snatched up the heinous disco pants before dashing off to find a matching tie-dyed top.

I sighed and turned to Ana as we strolled over to the Renaissance aisle. "Every Halloween, we all have to try to out-best last year's costumes for the Lock-Up. We think of it as a challenge. For instance, this year's costume has to kick last year's ass. For the guys, it has to be general awesomeness. For us girls, it has to be sexiness." I stopped in front of a display of intricate, flowy gowns and admired one made out of a rich black chiffon. It was definitely going in my try-on pile.

Ana rubbed her growing belly. "I sure don't feel sexy these days," she mumbled. "Maybe I'll go with something a little less revealing. After all, I didn't go to the Lock-Up last year. I don't have to compete with any sexiness like the rest of you girls do." She picked up a tasteful gothic Medieval dress and thunked a feathered hat over her springy curls. A matching feathery mask completed the look.

"I actually like that," I told her. "Let's get your hubby's opinion." I scanned the store from where I stood and found him and Santos hunched over a display of terrifying masks and wigs. I watched as Bobby pulled a furry werewolf headdress over his corn-rowed head, snuck up to a little kid, and made growling sounds behind him. The kid whirled around, went alarmingly pale, and staggered backwards in complete wide-eyed, open-mouthed horror when he saw Bobby. Lester was behind him, laughing so hard that he wasn't making any sounds. Tears began to run down his cheeks and dripped onto the collar of his baby-blue Polo shirt.

It frightened me tremendously that Dumb and Dumber would soon become fathers.

"I don't see him anywhere," I lied to Ana. I steered her in the direction opposite of Bobby and Lester, over to where Dayna and Lula were holding outfits up to themselves and vetoing what they didn't like on each other.

"You'd look like a mental patient in that," Lula was saying to Dayna as she got an eyeful of the white long-sleeved button-up number Dayna was wielding. "A hundred bucks says Sexy would rather go to the Lock-Up alone than be seen with you in that dress!"

"I won't even go there about these pants, Disco Inferno," retorted Dayna. She grabbed Lula's tie-dyed bell bottoms out of her hands and shook them in her face. "These aren't in tune with the Lock-Up's Medieval Masquerade theme. And you're crazy if you think these would look hot!"

"By the way, good luck trying to find a costume big enough to cover up that ass of yours, Preggo," Lula sneered. "There might be something stretchy in the plus-size section." Lula gestured to the other side of the store where the larger costumes were situated and began angrily riffling through the rack of wench dresses. Ana was wide-eyed and slack-jawed, shocked. I gritted my teeth and prepared for the mayhem.

Dayna became outraged. "You should know all about that section," Dayna exploded. "Well, maybe not. Most of your clothes look like they've come from the juniors' department!" Sadly, Dayna was right about that. Lula frequently shoehorned her plus-sized body into attire meant to fit thin fifteen-year-old girls. She was currently morphing into rhino-mode in a tight, strapless hot pink empire-waisted number and four-inch Jimmy Choo heels.

The preferred choice attire of all women at just over three months pregnant.

"Ladies, ladies," Lester exclaimed, stepping between the two of them before the eye-gouging and fish-hooking started. "No need to get this snippy with each other over the costumes. A polite "fuck, no!" will do fine when something looks awful. What is it? Are the babies hungry? Do we need a lunch break?"

"YES!" Ana, Dayna, Lula, and I all screamed at him in unison.

* * *

Halloween night had finally arrived. My excitement level was nearing a full ten by the time Ranger and I had showered and were ready to start putting on our costumes. As per Plum-Manoso tradition, Ranger and I hadn't shown each other our costumes and had each returned to Costume Scene separately to pick them up.

I couldn't _wait_ until Ranger saw what I'd picked out to wear this year. This year's costume kicked last year's to the curb and down the freaking sewer.

Ranger exited our dressing room in fitted black dress pants and a perfectly-ironed cream dress shirt with a ruffled neckline and ruffled sleeve cuffs that was open at the neck, revealing a gleaming patch of hairless, dark mocha skin. On his feet were shiny black megabucks boots. His hair was gelled into thick, tousled waves. He had painted two blood-red bite marks onto his neck and when he smiled at me, he revealed two sharp incisors. A sparkly black mask covered his eyes only. Draped over his shoulder and held in place with his pointer finger was an ornate, old-fashioned floor-length overcoat that was deep burgundy in color and had a pointy, Dracula-like collar. GQ Vampire Lestat.

Holy...Mother...of...God. I couldn't form words. I couldn't form a sentence. All I could do was stare.

"Babe?" he questioned in a husky voice. "I'm guessing you like what I've chosen?"

When I'd found my vocal cords again, I muttered, "Is the Pope Catholic?"

Ranger laughed and the sound was beautiful. "Your turn." He made his way over to me and slid his hot lips across my jaw. I shivered.

"I'll just be a few minutes," I managed to say. I headed into our dressing room and shut myself inside. My costume was tucked towards the back of my half of the closet, concealed in a white zippered dress bag. I unzipped the bag and removed my gown.

The dress was unlike any I'd ever worn before. It was the one that I'd admired at Costume Scene and I was actually brave enough to buy it when I realized that it looked awesome on me, even at three months pregnant. It was made up of layers of a soft, midnight black chiffon and was long-sleeved, had a plunging neckline, and had flowing pieces of yet more chiffon coming out of the top like a cape for my right arm. The style was medieval and was floor-length, but one side had a dangerously-daring slit running from the floor to the very top of my thigh. Thanks to pregnancy and a little help from Victoria's Secret, my cleavage was coiffed to the max and I looked pretty well-endowed.

I went into the bathroom and arranged my soft, shiny brown curls into cascading submission. I put on the silver headband that went with the dress and did my makeup. When I was done I slid my feet into four-inch silver FMPs, held a sparkly mask on a stick up to my eyes, and opened the dressing room door to greet Ranger.

He'd been on the phone across the room but ended his call when he heard the dressing room door open. I watched as he took me in, his eyes darkening to onyx and his breaths coming in quick spurts.

"Babe," he gritted out, coming to stand in front of me in only a couple of strides. He plastered his front against mine and bathed my neck with his hot tongue. "You look damn _gorgeous._ I want to fuck you senseless against this wall."

"I'm guessing you like what I've chosen?" I chuckled to him. Only a growl came out as his answer. Ranger busied himself with trying to figure out if I was wearing underwear and we were both so far gone that we almost didn't hear the pounding on the front door.

"Ignore it, they'll go away," Ranger mumbled as his fingers tripped down to the slit in my skirt. He moved his hand inside and brushed his fingers across the dampened lace of my thong, eliciting a whimper from my throat.

More pounding. "HEY!" Lester's voice was muffled as he stood on the other side of the front door and yelled to us. Sighing resignedly, Ranger dropped his hand and kissed me quickly before stalking over to the front door and throwing it open.

"Santos," he began darkly, but stopped short when he saw the costume that his best friend happened to be decked out in. I joined Ranger in the foyer and gasped when I saw Lester.

"Ohmigod," I breathed. Lester was dressed as the Phantom of the Opera, complete with the black satin cape, crisp white dress shirt and black dress pants, and contoured white mask covering half of his face. His hair was done similar to Ranger's, gelled into thick, tousled waves. Dayna poked her head into the foyer behind Lester.

"Hey, you guys," she exclaimed, smiling. She came all the way inside and I got a good look at the costume she'd chosen. It looked fabulous on her. In honor of Les being dressed as the Phantom, Dayna was playing the part of the beautiful singer Christine Daaé, who the Phantom falls in love with during the opera. Her dress style was very similar to mine, but instead of the chiffon being black, she'd chosen creamy ecru. Her light brown hair had been curled and cascaded down her back in thick waves. In her hands were a sparkly mask on a stick and a matching ecru clutch.

"You both look awesome," I said breathily.

"You do, too," Dayna gushed. "I'm _so_ glad Lester decided not to go as that medieval drunken-pub guy in the tights." She threw a thumb in his direction. "He wanted me to go dressed as his bar wench."

A mental image of them dressed as that duo sent a shiver down my spine. "Oooh, yeah," I said, grimacing. "That wouldn't have been cool."

Ranger came back into the foyer carrying Samantha and her diaper bag. I had dressed her up as an Anne Geddes flower-baby, complete with a yellow daisy hood, plump green leafy suit, and little green tights.

Dayna squealed and lifted her out of Ranger's arms. "And where are you going dressed up so cute?" she cooed to Samantha. She turned to Ranger and I. "I thought the party invitation said no children."

"Who are you going to leave Santos with, then?" I quipped, pretending to be confused. Dayna cracked up and a smile tugged the corners of Ranger's lips upwards.

Lester made a face and whipped his cape around his shoulders as he stalked out into the hall. He muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like, "Fuck it. I'm leaving without you people."

"We actually have to drop her off at my parents' house on the way to the Lock-Up," I told Dayna. "My mother, Valerie, and Grandma Mazur are taking her and the girls trick-or-treating tonight." Dayna handed Samantha back to me and we trooped out of the apartment.

Ranger fobbed the front door locked behind us and we all headed into the elevator for the ride down to the underground garage.

"Babe," Ranger mumbled huskily, leaning over slightly and placing a hot, open-mouthed kiss just under my ear. Lester saw him and, as usual, took things just a little bit further.

Lester roughly plastered Dayna up against the wall of the elevator with his hips and swept her hair aside before growling in her ear, "Christine." He breathed in deeply and sucked half of her neck into his mouth before groaning, long and loud, against her flesh.

"Baby," she began quietly. "Remember what we talked about before we left the apartment."

Sighing, Lester backed away from Dayna and stood at parade rest next to Ranger. "I need to try to control my Puerto Rican hormones and my lust for my wife in public tonight. It does not look professional or appropriate to be displaying our bedroom actions in places where others may witness them," he recited, clearly from memorization.

"And?" Dayna prompted him. There was more? Poor Les. He was so whipped. And I knew he loved every single second of it.

"And I will not use the words "hot piece of ass" not now or ever again in the future when referring to her in the presence of new people or general acquaintances."

"You do _WHAT?_" exclaimed Dayna and I in unison.

Lester laughed and tried to play it off. "I'm kidding," he chuckled. He hugged Dayna to his front and tried to ignore the death glare she was giving him. "But it was only that one time, I swear."

"You're lucky you're sexy," Dayna smarted back. "Or I'd kick your butt, pregnant or not." She pulled off his Phantom mask and nibbled on his bottom lip.

"Does that mean I'm getting laid tonight?" Lester wanted to know.

Dayna just smiled naughtily and stared into his darkened eyes, slowly sucking her bottom lip into her mouth. Yeah, he was definitely going to get laid. And probably a lot sooner than later on tonight.

Ranger leaned over and put his warm lips onto the shell of my ear, making me shiver and causing little flecks of delicious electricity to blast through my doo-dah. "What about me, babe? Am I getting laid tonight?" he whispered to me. I gripped his forearm tighter and felt the tops of my thighs become wet. I was glad I'd 86ed the thong. Really, what was the point of even wearing one?

"Does a bear shit in the woods?" I whispered back.

* * *

The downtown Trenton Marriott was busier than Grand Central Station during rush hour. The lobby was packed to the max with Lock-Up guests, milling about with drinks in hand and masks up to their faces. Regular hotel guests looked on, probably trying to decide if it would be worth it to run up to their hotel rooms, throw on a tux and a mask, and join in the fun.

Music was thumping out of one of the grand ballrooms drew my attention to the far end of the lobby and I wondered if that was where all the action was.

I nudged Ranger. "Recognize anybody so far?"

He shook his head. "I think everybody we'd know is probably in the LaFayette Ballroom," he replied, pointing toward the far end of the lobby where the music was coming from. "Let's head over there."

Lester and Dayna followed behind us, squealing and laughing as they said British-sounding "hullos" to random strangers, clearly enjoying the fact that they could be silly and no one would know their identities because of their masks. Ranger, ever the epitome of class and calm demeanor, held his arm out to me and I placed my hand on his forearm as we glided along the carpeted lobby hallway down to the ostentatious LaFayette Ballroom. Two women in huge gowns and sparkly pink masks were standing near the Ballroom doors, collecting invitations. Ranger and Lester pulled our invitations out of their pockets and flashed them to the women, who promptly moved aside and granted the four of us access to the festivities.

My breath caught in my throat as I took in the LaFayette Ballroom. It was dark inside, illuminated only by hundreds of tall candlesticks surrounding the perimeter of the room. Dimly-lit chandeliers protruded from the high ceiling and were draped with cobwebs. Spooky decorations that appeared to have come straight from a haunted castle adorned the walls and the spaces between the tables and the dance floor. An old-fashioned casket sat near the edge of the dance floor and was draped with more cobwebs and had mist rising up from underneath it. The entire Ballroom looked exactly like the set of the Backstreet Boys' _Everybody_ video. It was a Halloween wet-dream come true.

Michael Jackson's _Thriller_ was booming from the sound system and a huge group of fifty or so guests were out on the dance floor, attempting to replicate the difficult dance steps.

Tank and Lula boogied up to us, drinks in hand. As soon as Lula got a gander of Ranger and Lester in their costumes, she began fanning herself with a cocktail napkin and leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Batman and Sexy are gonna cause a riot up in here," she hissed.

I laughed. "Possibly. All I have to keep in mind, though, is that Batman goes home with _me_."

"Damn skippy."

She and I headed over to the bar so that Lula could order another Sprite on the rocks. She got me a water and we headed back to the dance floor. "Glad to see you decided against the bell bottoms," I told Lula.

She shrugged. "Lady Santos was right. Turns out they weren't all that sexy, anyway. This here's a Medieval Masquerade, so I needed to keep in tune with the theme of things." Lula gestured to the gown she was wearing. It was royal blue with gold trim and came complete with a matching headdress and mask.

A commotion over by the entrance caught our attention and we turned to face the crowd that had gathered at the doors. Several wolf whistles and catcalls filtered from the group as someone dressed as a knight in shining armor appeared in the doorway. The knight removed his helmet and Joe Morelli stood smiling at the crowd, waggling his eyebrows at the group of women that were squealing.

I hadn't seen Morelli in _months_ and while things were fine and dandy between us, I wasn't sure if he knew I was expecting again. We'd both agreed that he probably shouldn't come to my wedding to Ranger but he'd gotten us a wedding gift, anyway. I thought it was sweet. Ranger thought he was brown-nosing.

Either way, when Morelli's eyes settled on me near the dance floor, his lips quirked into a friendly smile and he made his way over to Lula and I.

"Cupcake," he greeted me, sweeping my hand in his and kissing the back of it. "Lula." He courteously nodded to her.

"How's it going?" I asked him. "Bet that chainmail was hard to put on." I gestured towards his costume.

He looked down at his chest and arms. "Oh. Yeah, but Carlene helped me out with it."

"You're seeing her again?"

"She keeps resurfacing for some reason. She couldn't come tonight because they needed her for a shift at St. Francis."

Carlene Mangione was an old flame of Morelli's who was known for leaving sensual, seductive phone messages on Morelli's home answering machine and his cell phone voicemail. Last I'd heard she was taking off for Indiana on a travel nursing assignment and hadn't been seen nor heard from in eight months. Until now.

Morelli glanced at the bottle of water in my hand. "Uh-oh. Either you're the designated driver tonight or Manoso got you pregnant again."

I grimaced. "I thought you would have heard by now," I said to him.

"I've been undercover in Newark for almost two months now. I don't spend much time in the Burg or Trenton anymore. Not since this cocaine ring got blown out into the open and innocent kids are being mowed down by bullets quicker than we can put the bad guys in jail."

"Sounds like it's been hell for you," I remarked. Lula nodded in agreement.

"It has." He quickly changed the subject back to my pregnancy. "I guess congratulations are in order," Morelli said. He gave me a half-smile and wrapped me into his arms.

When his chainmail started digging into my boob, I said in a muffled voice, "It's starting to hurt, Joe."

He released me. "Sorry," he said. "I'm happy for you, Steph. Let me go find Manoso and give him my best."

"Sure," I said, watching him make his way towards the dancefloor where Ranger, Tank, Hal and Kassie, Les and Dayna, and Hector were all grouped with Bobby and Ana and Hector's new boyfriend Daniél. Daniél was young and dark-skinned, and the fact that his nipples were pierced had me wondering if he'd ever spent time with my sexual maniac of a bondsman cousin.

Lula was staring after Morelli. "He's got one fine ass, that Officer Hottie."

I looked at her. "Are you horny for everyone other than Tank tonight?" I asked her. "So far, you've made lustful comments about Ranger, Lester, and now Joe Morelli. Why don't you go hit on Hal next, for Christ's sake?"

Lula shook her head and stared over at pale, blond Hal. "Hal's a white-boy. I like a little more dark meat on my plate."

Tell us how it is, Lula.

* * *

Two hours later, White Zombie's _I'm Your Boogieman _began playing and several inebriated, masked party guests crowded onto the dance floor to mosh. To my absolute horror, Ranger was one of them.

I hurried up to him and dragged him away from a _very_ drunk Cal and Cal's equally-drunk girlfriend, Jessica. Ranger's eyes were droopy and he threw his arms around me sloppily.

"Babe," he slurred. He leaned over to my ear. "I want to suck your blood." He nipped at my neck with his fake incisors and heated lust flashed through my groin. He wasn't sucking on _anything_ with those fangs in his mouth. I'd end up needing a transfusion.

"How much have you had to drink, Ranger?" I asked incredulously.

"Mmmmm...a couple shots of Patron and 'bout three Coronas. If you wanna be mad, babe, be mad at Santos. He kept giving them to me."

"Where _is_ Lester? I haven't seen him or Dayna since the incident with the casket a half-hour ago." I shuddered at the memory. Lester, clearly intoxicated, had attempted to climb into the old-fashioned casket near the dance floor and had wanted to pull Dayna in with him. Of course, she steadfastly refused and when she'd tried to help him out of the casket, his pant leg got snagged on one of the handles and he ended up toppling out and bringing the casket down off of the rolling gurney, on top of him.

Paramedics were not called in order to spare Mr. and Mrs. Santos some embarrassment.

"I think they're testing out the chaise lounge in the women's restroom," Ranger replied.

"Testing it for what?"

"I dunno. Durability, I guess."

"Seriously? This is a party! They got all dressed up to come here and do _that_?"

Ranger was smirking at me. "Jealous, babe? I could change that, you know." He began placing hot, open-mouthed kisses up my neck and I felt his warm hand slither into the slit in my dress and rest on my bare ass cheek. I checked to see if anyone was looking. No one was. I relaxed and let myself get lost in the sensations his caresses were causing. Oh, what the hell. I wanted my husband to feel me up on the dance floor at a packed Halloween party and I didn't give a fuck _who _saw it.

In keeping with the tune of the creepy ambiance of the decorations, _Everybody_ began playing and Ranger yanked me to the middle of the dance floor, pulling me into the mass of writhing, masked bodies grinding against each other to the beat of the music. The beat was sexy as we moved our bodies together, dipping and grinding to the bass of the song. Even with a few drinks in him, Ranger was an excellent dancer. His hands flitted over me as we danced, leaving trails of fire. Our lips fused together and he sucked my tongue into his hot mouth, scraping it gently with his incisors and slowly driving me insane with the want and need for release. I gripped his waist in frustration as I growled, low and deep. I could feel my own wetness begin to trickle down my legs.

Ranger's hand moved from my ass to the front of me, dipping inconspicuously between my thighs. He parted me and groaned into my neck as he stroked me, his finger gliding smoothly along my soaked folds. We were pressed so close together that not much could be seen from anyone else's perspective. Only the twitching of his forearm muscles belied what he was really up to, and his arms were encased in his shirt sleeves. His hard length was pressed against my hip, hot and thick through the chiffon of my dress.

Without warning, one of his thick, long fingers made its way into my tight hole and I cried out into his shoulder, unable to keep quiet from the sweet sensations coursing through my body. He reached his thumb up to circle my clit and I came almost instantly, rocking my hips to the beat of the music and feeling his finger graze my g-spot with each thrust of my body. When the endless contractions finally stopped, I draped against him, lax and spent and completely satisfied for the time being.

Ranger's deep baritone laugh rumbled through me and made me blush furiously. "Feel better, babe?" he asked me huskily.

I couldn't stop the slow smile from spreading across my face. I didn't answer him so I just nodded.

"Go get us some water," he said to me. He squeezed one of my butt cheeks through my dress and turned me around in the direction of the bar. My legs were still somewhat unsteady, but I took off for the far end of the Ballroom and I could feel Ranger's smoldering gaze on me as I teetered away from him.

I bellied up to the bar and peered over at the bartender.

"I'm hoping that you're here for something virgin," he chuckled, eyeing my three-month belly.

I laughed. "Hey, you're in luck. At least you don't have to make me some complicated drink that has seven different types of alcohol in it."

The bartender chuckled again and grimaced. "Those are always a treat to put together. What'll it be?"

"Two bottles of water."

"You got it."

I took the water bottles from his outstretched hand and when I turned back to the dance floor, a commotion near the casket caught my attention. A flash of silver metal and another flash of burgundy were all I could see through the crowd gathering at the far end of the dance floor to witness what appeared to be some kind of altercation.

Lester approached me from behind and mumbled in my ear, "Don't move, beautiful. Your husband's about to fight Morelli." Well, shit. With that, Les took off for the crowd, followed by Tank and Bobby on either side of him. Loud shouting erupted as I heard Morelli's outraged scream and the unmistakable sound of fist connecting with facial bone splintering over the boom of the music.

Someone had just thrown the first punch. Ignoring Lester's instructions, I set the water bottles down on the nearest table and ran to the crowd near the casket, Lula and Dayna both at my heels.

"You're scum, Morelli," Ranger was yelling. I could see the beginnings of a world-class shiner form around his left eye.

"I'm not done with you, Manoso!" Joe hollered, slurring his words. Before he could hit Ranger again, Ranger took him down with a knee to his right flank, effectively halting Morelli's advance towards Ranger. Something had to be done before Ranger damaged Morelli's other kidney.

"Enough!" I screamed, planting myself in my four-inch FMPs between Morelli and my husband and helping Big Dog drag Joe into a chair. He was doubled over in pain and had winced when we sat him down. Ranger's eye was beginning to swell shut and I watched as Tank and Lester got him ice from the bar and settled him across the room, far away from Morelli.

"Stay out of this, Steph. I don't want you to get hurt," Morelli mumbled to me.

"No, I will not. Joe, what's this all about?"

The crowd had dispersed and trickled back onto the dance floor just as the deejay pumped things up again with _Monster Mash_. The incident seemed forgotten for the time being.

Morelli sighed and glared up at me. "I saw Manoso talking to the chick in the white dress with the curly brown hair while you were getting drinks at the bar. I didn't like that, because I thought he might try something funny while you weren't around. So I said something to him."

"Joe, you're drunk. And that's not just any chick. That's Santos's wife."

Morelli peered at Dayna, who was now encased in Lester's protective arms, both of them laughing at something Lula had just said. Ranger looked on, clearly still pissed as Bobby tended to his bashed-up eye.

"That's Santos's wife? Damn."

"I appreciate you looking out for me." I gave Morelli a half-smile. "But Ranger's a good guy. He's a keeper."

"Just making sure, Cupcake." Joe winced as he shifted in his chair and we both turned our attention towards Carl Costanza, who had just walked up to us.

"Some idiot called the police," he said incredulously, shaking his head. "In a banquet hall filled with cops. Hunh."

"Did you cancel the call with dispatch?" Morelli asked Carl. He sounded tired.

Carl shook his head. "Nah. Whoever comes will probably end up staying for a little bit, anyways. Unless it's Gaspick and that other asshole he's been chummy with lately."

Morelli sneered and rubbed his side. "Yeah, what are the chances that it'll be him and his partner?"

"Slim to none. They've probably got their tongues down each other's throats behind Dunkin' Donuts."

Tank approached us and clapped a hand on Morelli's shoulder. "The fuzz just got here. Anyone know who placed that call?" he asked.

We all shrugged. "Some idiot guest," I muttered.

Lula approached us, Lester and Dayna hot on her heels. "Ain't that Officer Picky?" Lula said, keeping her eyes trained on the uniformed cop that had just stormed into the Ballroom. I didn't recognize his partner but the fellow had to be at least two hundred and fifty pounds and well over six feet tall. Visions of them rocking their squad car in the parking lot behind Dunkin' Donuts flashed through my mind and I shivered.

My heart sank. Officer Benny Gaspick, or "Officer Picky", had tangoed with Ranger before. He was well-known, and not very well-liked, for arresting folks caught up in the most minor of situations and had even been written up for his involvement in a police brutality case. This was not looking good.

"I hope Picky's not feeling cranky that he's stuck working while the rest of the department gets to party here at the Lock-Up," I lamented. "Maybe he'll give the guys a break. Morelli's a cop, for crying out loud. And Ranger's...well, he's Ranger."

"Yeah. It was just a dumb fight," Lula scoffed. "The guys have already kissed and made up. Nobody got hurt. I mean, Batman's got a black eye and Officer Hottie might piss blood for the next few days, but other than that, nothing serious. Let the party go on!"

Gaspick approached Joe and Ranger, who had come over to sit beside Morelli and I with his ice pack to get things straightened out. "Who started the fight?" Gaspick demanded.

Ranger and Morelli glanced sheepishly at each other, both still drunk off their asses. "We both did," they said in unison. Ranger held the ice pack up to his eye as Morelli rubbed his side.

Picky sighed and motioned for his partner to cuff Morelli. "Sorry about this, man," he said to Morelli. I sighed with relief that they were letting Ranger off. Nothing would happen to Morelli, anyway. He was a cop. One of their own. They'd probably take him outside and let him relax for a little while.

I was about to do a happy dance when I heard Picky say, "Hands behind your back, Manoso. Gonna be a long night. Booking's backed up. You might wanna leave your coat and your fake vampire teeth with your wife."

Oh, shit.

* * *

**Hahahahahaha! Will Ranger spend the night in the slammer? Will there be a bit of Halloween smutty goodness for the Babes? You'll have to stay tuned to find out! I'm now a review-slut so let me know what the deal is, homies. **


	10. The One With All The Thanksgivings

**Hey, everybody! Sorry it's been so long since an update. I want to thank each and every one of you for your wonderful reviews and for your excitement over the sex of the babies! More fun to come in the upcoming chapters. Stay tuned! Hope you all have a good weekend. -Jill**

* * *

Lester stepped between Ranger and Officer Picky after Ranger had been cuffed. "Gaspick, what the hell? You don't have to take him downtown," he exclaimed angrily, nodding his head toward Ranger.

"Oh, I believe I do, Santos," Picky replied snidely.

"What do we do with Morelli?" Gaspick's partner wanted to know.

Gaspick looked deep in thought for a moment, furrowing his brow. "Uncuff him," he answered finally.

Gaspick's partner immediately unlocked the cuffs from around Morelli's wrists and replaced them on his utility belt.

"C'mon, fellas," Morelli began, slowly rising from his chair and wincing in pain. "Don't do this. His wife's pregnant, for crying out loud!"

"Morelli," boomed Gaspick. "We did you a favor by removing those cuffs. If you want, we can replace them." Picky turned to Les. "And how about a pair for you, Santos?"

Lester and Morelli fell silent. In a weird way, Picky had too much power right now. He was really milking his badge.

"Let's go, Manoso." With that, Officer Picky and his partner hauled Ranger up by the armpits and began frog-marching him towards the Ballroom exit, pushing through masked guests on the way.

I ran after them, throwing caution to the wind as I dodged guests and outstretched feet in my heels. "It was just a minor altercation, that's all! It's over with now!"

Picky dug his heels in and whirled around to face me. "Mrs. Manoso -

Ranger interrupted him. "Babe. Let them take me down to the station. It's their job. Please, don't make this harder than it has to be. I'll be out in a couple of hours." Ranger's eyes looked tired and he appeared to be sobering slightly. He looked behind me to Lester and Bobby. "Santos. Call Vinnie."

"But -

"Babe."

I shut my mouth. The discussion was over. My chin began trembling as Picky and his partner led Ranger out of the Ballroom, into the main hotel lobby. Lula and Dayna came up behind me and each took one of my hands and walked with me as we followed behind them. Ana had all of our purses and masks, bringing up the rear. A small crowd of guests had ambled out to the lobby to watch Ranger duck into Picky's squad car.

"We're here for you, white girl," I heard Lula mutter as we stood huddled together out on the macadam, knees knocking together from being in the chilly Halloween night breeze without our coats. Beside me, Dayna's teeth were chattering.

"Love you, babe," Ranger called to me, just before Picky placed his hand on his head and pushed him into the backseat. Picky slammed the door shut and he and his partner tore away from the curb with Ranger, lights flashing and thankfully no siren.

"Fucking asshole," Tank muttered from behind us, referring to Picky. He, Lester, Bobby, and Morelli had all come up to stand behind us. Lester and Bobby wrapped Dayna and Ana into their arms to keep them warm while Lula held tightly onto my shoulders.

Morelli hobbled up to Big Dog and Eddie Gazzara, who had just joined the group. "What'll they book him for? Public intox? Drunk and disorderly?"

Eddie shook his head. "I have a hard time believing anything like that will hold up in court," he scoffed. "Probably no charges will be filed at all. I think Gaspick just wanted to show his force tonight and prove to the department that he could take down someone as powerful as Carlos Manoso. Drunk and in a vampire costume, nonetheless."

"Think so?" Tank inquired.

"Yeah," Eddie replied. He turned to me. "Don't worry, Steph. I don't even think you need to get your cousin involved."

"I just got off the phone with Vinnie," spoke up Lester. "I think he was in the middle of something that sounded a little like a special Halloween whips and chains session with Barnhardt." Lester shuddered at the thought. "He told me that hell will freeze over before Gaspick books Ranger for anything and gets away with it."

"I'm still going down to the station," I told everyone. "I'm going to try to reason with Picky to get him to let Ranger off the hook without booking any charges."

"Need us to go with you, Steph?" volunteered Tank.

I shook my head. "No. It's all right. Thanks, though."

Lula, Dayna, and Ana walked me down to the parking garage after we'd retrieved our jackets from the coatroom attendant in the hotel lobby. I located the Denali in the section I'd remembered Ranger parking it in and remoted the doors unlocked.

"Lester and I are riding back with Tank and Lula," Dayna told me. "So don't worry about us. Just make sure Ranger's okay."

I nodded and pulled her to me for a hug. "I will. Thank you."

Ana and Lula were next to receive an embrace. Ana kissed my cheek before pulling away. "Call us as soon as you know something."

"I will," I said again. "I don't know what to expect from going down to that station, but I can't let Ranger sit in that holding cell alone, wondering if I'm okay and all. Even if I end up just sitting outside until they let him go, I'll do it. There's no other options for me right now. I have to be there with him as he goes through this. My parents can keep Samantha until Ranger comes home."

"You're a wonderful wife, Steph," Lula said softly. "I'm proud of you. We all are."

The smile I returned to her was wavering as I fought back tears. I looked at each of their beautifully made-up faces and knew that these three women were the best friends I'd probably ever have in my life. We each shared such a special bond. Not only had our husbands all grown from boys into men together, but between the four of us women we were carrying four children who would no doubt grow into little people together, too. It was an amazing thought. We were all so extremely lucky.

Dayna broke me from my thoughts. "You'd better get going, Steph." She handed me my purse and my sparkly mask on a stick.

"You guys go back in and enjoy the rest of the party," I told them. "Please don't let this spoil your evening."

"Actually," Lula began, shifting uncomfortably in her Manolo knock-offs. "I'm more than ready for some Brown Bear Lovin'. I think we might be goin' soon."

Dayna nodded and squirmed in her dress. "Yeah, the Phantom and I have huge plans for this evening that don't include singing at the opera together. I'm ready to rip that cape off of him and let him do me up against the bellhop podium in the lobby."

"Picky'll be back to arrest you and Sexy for public lewd and lascivious," warned Lula.

"I don't give a crap."

Laughing silently to myself, I hoisted my hips up into the Denali and swung my legs under the steering wheel. "Wait until our second trimester starts. Our men will all be walking funny."

"Damn skippy," agreed Lula. "I heard your fourth month begins a pretty horny stage."

I couldn't resist adding, "Yeah. You'll want it at the weirdest times, in the weirdest places. I accompanied Ranger to a dental appointment once while I was pregnant with Samantha and watching him get a cavity filled was, for some reason, the damn near sexiest thing I'd ever seen. I'm telling you, there's nothing you can do to prepare for it. It'll suck you in and you won't be able to do anything about it."

"Awesome," muttered Ana. "I barely have enough time to breathe now, with the studio and school and all. How are Bobby and I going to fit even more sex into our busy schedules?" True to her roots from the Dominican Republic, Ana and her sister Jesenia ran a busy Latin dance studio in Newark for underprivileged teenagers and young adults. She was also studying for her Master's degree in Forensic Psychology at Rutgers.

"Your man looks like L.L. Cool J with cornrows," frowned Lula, huffing and fanning herself. "I wouldn't have a problem with fitting all that hot sex in if I were you."

Ana's light cocoa skin flushed. "Lula," she chided, thoroughly embarrassed.

"Okay, now I really have to get going," I exclaimed. "I'll let you know what happens." I slammed the Denali's driver door shut and rolled down the window.

"Call when you can," Lula instructed me. "And tell Batman not to become anybody's bitch while he's barred up in the clink. That wouldn't be pretty." Lula shivered at the heinous thought.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure," I said, exasperated. "Have fun tonight, you guys." I put the SUV into reverse and slowly backed out of the parking space.

"Bye, Steph," they shouted as I pulled away. "Love you! Good luck!"

I sniveled and snotted nearly the entire way to the downtown TPD precinct. By the time I reached the visitors' parking lot, my face was a mess and I'd soaked through four Kleenexes that were black with mascara and eyeliner. Ranger was no doubt at the station by now, getting processed in. As soon as I was inside, I looked around for a recognizable face and was crushed to see that both the docket lieutenant and the processing clerk were both unfamiliar to me.

"Can I help you?" the lieutenant asked me.

"My husband was just brought here by Officer Gaspick," I told him. "Carlos Manoso."

"Oh, the vampire," sneered the lieutenant, turning to the clerk and sharing an amused chuckle with her. "Cell number nine." He hit a buzzer and the heavy metal door beside him clicked open.

"Thanks," I muttered, hurrying through the door and into a long hallway. I ticked off cell numbers in my head as I travelled down the hall, looking for number nine. Most of the cells I passed were empty but when I reached number nine, three other guys were accompanying Ranger on the benches inside. Ranger was seated with his back up against the far wall, studying the other men intently, looking more pissed off than I'd ever seen him. I caught his eye through the iron bars of the cell and a look of surprise crossed over his features.

"Babe," he hissed, leaping up from the metal bench and standing in front of me. He kissed me gently through the slats in the cell bars and reached out to caress my cheek. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't let you go through this alone," I blubbered. "I came to convince Picky to let you go."

Ranger chuckled lightly. "You didn't have to come down here," he said to me. "Gaspick's not booking me for anything. He can't, really. He'd get laughed out of the department. He told me to sleep it off and then call you in the morning on the pay phone to come pick me up."

"Why can't you leave now? It's not like you're still bombed," I said. Ranger's eyes were droopy and I knew he had to be exhausted, but otherwise sober. Chatter between the remaining three drunks in the cell behind Ranger ceased and six ears were now listening intently to our conversation. At that point, I really didn't care that we had an audience.

"Can't, babe. Gaspick's orders."

Fresh tears began spilling out of my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. "I'm waiting right here with you, then," I told him. "You're not a criminal. You don't deserve to be here."

"Babe," Ranger sighed. "I just don't want to make any trouble, okay? Where are Tank and Santos and Brown?"

"Right about now?" I glanced at the wall clock behind me. "Getting laid," I replied.

"Fuckers," muttered Ranger under his breath.

I raised an eyebrow and sniffled back some tears. "Jealous, Ranger?"

"Of course," was the menacing reply. "Babe, you look so beautiful tonight. I wanted so badly to show you how much I love you when we got back home from the party."

"Yeah?" I said, smiling through my tears.

"Yes," he said softly. "You were the most beautiful woman in that ballroom tonight. With your gorgeous hair, and your little belly showing through that amazing dress. You can light up an entire room with just your smile alone." He placed his hand on my cheek again and brushed a few rogue tears away with his thumb. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," I whimpered. "I hate that I can't have your arms around me right now."

Ranger leaned in and gently pressed his lips to mine through the cell's slats. "I know, babe, me too." He took my lips with his again and swept his tongue into my mouth, making me groan softly and squirm against the cell bars.

Several hoots and hollers from Ranger's three drunk cellmates blasted through the room, echoing down the hall. "C'mon, let 'im go!" and "Stop bein' a dickhead, Gaspick!" rang out through the cell.

"Fine, fine," said a resigned voice from behind me. I whirled around and there stood Officer Gaspick, jingling a ring of keys and locating the one that would presumably open Ranger's cell. He approached the cell's lock and twisted the key into it before rolling back the heavy metal bars. "Get out of here, Manoso." He smiled sheepishly at Ranger and I. "Nice speech, by the way. Very touching."

"Thank you so much," I gushed to him, grabbing a hold of my husband's hand and yanking him out of the cell before Picky rolled the door shut again. "Happy Halloween, Officer."

"You too," Picky called after us, but Ranger and I had already disappeared down the hall, eager to get home.

* * *

My dress was off and Ranger was sliding his hot, soft lips down over the swell of my belly, in the direction of the promised land. He paused to flick his amazing tongue into my stretched-flat belly button and continued his trail of fire until he reached the dewy curls at the top of my wetness. I was writhing beneath him as his skillful fingers coasted up my thighs and gently probed my folds before parting them, allowing him access to my most intimate locale.

"You are so beautiful," he mumbled against my hip before nipping it with his teeth. He dragged his mouth back up to my chest and focused his attention on one of my hypersensitive nipples, drawing it in between his lips and swirling his tongue around it slowly while two of his long, thick fingers made their way into my tight, wet hole.

"Ranger!" I bucked against his hand and came almost instantaneously, feeling my nipples pucker painfully and my lower half contract. Ranger drew out my orgasm to eternity and a hot, flowing sensation passed through my center.

I still wasn't satisfied. I needed all of him, filling me and stretching me. I had been so on edge all evening and the need to have him buried deep inside me was almost overwhelming. Ranger shucked his pants and boxer-briefs before settling himself between my legs again. His thick head was poised at my slick opening, ready to invade my body and take me to points unknown.

"Thank you for rescuing me tonight, babe." He placed soft, gentle kisses all over my face and neck. His hands threaded themselves into my curls as he held my head back, exposing my throat to his lips. My hands made their way to his delicious bottom and dug in, the soft skin melting into my fingertips as I caressed his luscious cheeks. He pressed against my opening and slipped just the head inside, making me scream out in frustrated anticipation of what was to come. His lips assaulted my collarbone and moved down to my breasts as he repeatedly dipped himself just barely inside of me and retreated, driving me insane.

Finally Ranger took mercy on me and plunged deep, stretching my core and filling me to the hilt. I couldn't help the cry of extreme pleasure that escaped my lungs and echoed off of the walls of our bedroom. He dragged out and pushed in again, working us both toward orgasms of an earth-shattering caliber, taking me higher and higher with each thrust of his hips. Finally we came together as one, flying off the cliff in unison as Ranger's moans mingled with my shouts of delight. He sprayed his thick heat across my belly and in between my breasts, my name on his lips as he milked his nuts of come and slid his fingers across my throbbing clit.

"Fucking Christ, babe," Ranger gasped, collapsing onto his elbows, smearing the artwork he'd created on my chest and belly. He dipped his head into the crook of my neck and his hot breaths blasted onto my overheated skin. "Happy Halloween."

I smiled, completely satisfied and purring underneath the weight of his body. "Same to you, Batman."

* * *

My desk phone rang and I answered it on my headset. "This is Stephanie," I said into the receiver.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" a voice exclaimed as soon as the connection was made. Ugh, he was too excited at this hour. Eight o'clock was, in my opinion, way too early to be calling people, even people who were already at work. And especially people who were no longer able to have caffeine in order to become Mary Sunshine.

"Hey, Les," I mumbled. "Thanksgiving's not until tomorrow, you know."

"Yeah, I know. But I can't help it, I'm just so excited."

I felt myself smiling widely. "On your way to find out?"

"You know it. We just left. Dayna's got morning sickness again. She's afraid that if she opens her mouth to speak, puke will come out instead." Over the phone, I heard the turbo hiss as Lester upshifted the G35. "I'm calling you because Ranger's not answering his cell. I wanted to let him know what time our flight is this afternoon."

"When is it?"

"Our plane leaves Newark for Miami International at six o' five on the dot. We should be in South Florida by nine-thirty or so. Maybe sooner."

I jotted their flight information onto a sticky note and stuck it onto my purse. "Okay, I'll let Ranger know. How long will you be gone?"

"We're staying with the Marreros until Sunday. I'll be back on duty Monday morning."

"Call me the second Dayna has that ultrasound," I barked to Lester. "I'm dying here!"

Lula dashed into my office. "That Sexy on the phone? Did they find out yet?" she hissed to me.

I shook my head. "They're on their way to Dr. Saunders's office," I told Lula. I moved the mic back in front of my mouth. "All right, Les. Good luck!" Lula and I both squelched hysterical squeals of excitement after I disconnected from Santos.

"What time do you and the boss have your appointment today?" Lula wanted to know. She seated herself in one of my guest chairs.

"Four," I said, removing my phone headset and turning to face Lula. "Honestly, I'm not sure what I'm hoping for this time around. Ranger and I have talked about it, but we both agreed that we didn't care as long as it was healthy."

Lula nodded sagely. "Us, too. Although deep down I think my Tankie wants a boy and, truthfully, I'd like to have a girl. But you're right. Nothing matters as long as he or she is healthy."

"Dayna doesn't really care, either, but Lester's pushing for a boy." Dear Lord, for my daughter's sake I hoped they were having a girl. I quickly envisioned Samantha and Santos's son, on their first date at ages thirteen and fourteen. He'd wear aftershave and take her to the movies and insist they sit in the back row -

Lula interrupted my musings. "You're thinking too far ahead, white girl," Lula said, cockeyed and seemingly reading my mind. "I know what you're thinking. Sexy's son and Sam. For what it's worth, he might not even be her type."

"If she turns out to be anything like me, he will be."

* * *

Ranger's knee kept bouncing up and down in the scratchy wool waiting room chair at Dr. Radcliff's office. It was ten minutes until four and neither of us had heard anything from Dayna and Lester. I'd tried calling Dayna's cell, but it rang and rang until it went to voicemail. Lester's cell didn't ring at all; it just went straight to voicemail.

Finally, Ranger's knee bounced one too many times and I turned to face him. "Calm down," I told him. "You're acting like you're waiting to find out if you're dy -

My cell rang and blasted a funky ringtone throughout the waiting room. Several annoyed stares from other patients forced me to lower the volume and I whispered, "Hello?" into the mouthpiece.

"Steph," Dayna exclaimed. "Are you there?"

"I'm here," I hissed. I turned to Ranger and mouthed, "Dayna" to him. "So? Did you find out?" I was practically crackling with excitement. Ranger sat forward in his seat in anticipation and leaned towards me.

"It's a girl," she gushed. I let out a huge breath and squealed, much to the dismay of the already-annoyed waiting room occupants.

"Dayna and Lester are having a girl," I exclaimed to Ranger, bopping him happily on the shoulder. I turned back to the phone. "Why did it take you so long to call?"

"Dr. Saunders had to deliver a baby," explained Dayna. "We had to wait a little while. And Les's phone died."

"Is everything okay?" I asked her. "Is she healthy?"

"She's perfect," sighed Dayna. "I'm so happy we found out today. I can't wait to tell my parents in person!"

"Have a safe flight," I told her. "We love you guys."

"Love you too," Dayna gushed. I heard Lester in the background, presumably on the phone to somebody, whooping happily. She disconnected and as soon as I put my phone back into my purse, the office door opened and Dr. Radcliff's nurse called my name.

_Here we go_, I thought. Ranger helped me up and led me through the door by the hand. After weighing me and taking my blood pressure, the nurse seated us in the ultrasound room and shut the door behind her, leaving Ranger and I alone.

"Santos and a house full of women," laughed Ranger, as soon as I'd made myself comfortable in the stirrups and my paper gown. He grinned at me from the chair across the room. "Our daughter is safe."

"Until they pop out another one," I pointed out. "At the rate they're going, she'll be pregnant again in no time."

Ranger chuckled again. "I've already spoken to him regarding the matter. I think they'll be waiting awhile before doing this again."

I grew serious. "I'm nervous, Ranger," I said to him. Ranger immediately got up and pulled his chair up next to my exam table and took my hand in both of his own before kissing my palm.

"Everything will be fine, babe. It doesn't matter to me what we have, you know that. I just want our new baby to be happy and healthy."

I felt tears spring to my eyes. "But you know what we're both hoping for, right?" I asked him. He nodded. "Do you think it'll happen?"

Ranger shrugged. "There's no telling, babe. Let's leave it in God's hands."

Just then, Dr. Radcliff swung into the room and started setting up the ultrasound machine after greeting Ranger and I. He lubed up the probe and got to work.

"Everything looks very healthy so far, Manosos," Dr. Radcliff said happily after awhile. "Interested in knowing what you're having?"

Ranger and I looked at each other. I nodded to Dr. Radcliff. I squeezed my eyes shut so as to not sneak a look at the ultrasound screen. Ranger leaned over Dr. Radcliff's shoulder as he murmered something to Ranger, both of their eyes presumably glued to the ultrasound screen.

"So that's what it is?" I heard Ranger ask Dr. Radcliff.

"Yep." Dr. Radcliff removed the probe from me and snapped off his gloves. "Congratulations, you two." He shook Ranger's hand and patted my shoulder before exiting the room.

I drew in a deep breath. "So?" I asked Ranger. "Is it what we were hoping for?"

Ranger crushed his lips to mine and when he pulled away, we were both breathless. "Babe," he said, smiling happily.

* * *

"I'd like to make a Thanksgiving toast," my grandmother announced to the dinner table. A bit of her Merlot sloshed out of her glass as she raised it and splashed onto the linen tablecloth.

Ella hurried over and attempted to blot the spill with a kitchen towel. "That's all right, Edna," she said quietly. "Carry on."

Poor Ella. "Grandma," I hissed. "Lower your glass!"

Grandma lowered her glass about an inch and proceeded with her toast. "To my granddaughter Stephanie and her husband Ranger," she slurred. "And our new grandchild that's on the way. Well, my new great-grandchild."

"We found out the sex yesterday," I announced, as soon as everyone had sipped from their glasses and set them back onto the table. My mother's fork clattered onto her plate. My dad's head raised up from his turkey. Valerie, Kloughn, and the girls grew quiet. Mr. and Mrs. Manosos' jaws hit the table. Ranger's brother Alex and his wife Sofia gasped. Grandma just kept on smiling. Samantha hit Mary Alice with a carrot.

"And you waited until _now_ to tell us what you're having?" my mother sputtered.

"We wanted it to be a surprise," Ranger said, setting his glass of White Zin back onto the table. "A Thanksgiving surprise."

Mrs. Manoso, Sofia, and Valerie squealed with joy. My mother got over her outrage and smiled tearfully. "Is everything healthy?" she asked me.

I nodded and smiled. "Yeah. Completely okay." Several collective sighs of relief surfaced around the table.

"So what are you having, you guys?" exclaimed Valerie to Ranger and I. "Stop stalling!"

I took a deep breath and got ready to tell them.

* * *

**So Picky turned out to be a nice guy, after all! It may not be the last we see of him, though. Bummer! What are Steph and Ranger having? Find out in the next chapter! Glad you're all enjoying the story so far!**


	11. New Year's Rockin' Eve

**Hey, you guys! So glad you've decided to stick around for Chapter 11 of Oh, Baby! I've finally been able to update this story, so I hope you enjoy the latest installment. I'm seriously loving writing it! Have a good rest of the week! - Jill**

**Warning: This chapter is not kind to Ryan Seacrest.**

* * *

"Well, it's definitely a baby," I said with a nervous chuckle. "Not some strange, mutant combination of a Bat-Spawn and Wonder Woman."

"Oh, come on. Out with it," exclaimed Grandma. She wielded her wine glass and took a large gulp of Merlot.

I knew I was being evil by holding out on them. Ranger was sitting next to me, chuckling noiselessly.

"Babe," he said quietly. "Our son is patiently waiting for you to tell our families about his impending arrival." I snuck a smirk in Ranger's direction to let him know I'd picked up on what he just said.

Clearly, the rest of the group did not.

"Yes," agreed Mrs. Manoso, completely missing the subject of Ranger's statement. "Please tell us! We're all dying to know here!"

Valerie and my mother both exclaimed their agreements. Maybe it was all the wine. They had put away two glasses of White Zin each and were working on a third. Mrs. Manoso kept having Ella run back and forth from the table to the kitchen, each time with a fresh glass of chilled riesling.

Kloughn, Mr. Manoso, Alex, and my father were all silent. If they'd caught onto Ranger's words, they certainly weren't broadcasting it. I saw my father turning red from holding in laughter, his hands folded near his mouth to hide his smile. Mr. Manoso and Alex were nudging each other. Kloughn, pink-faced and googly-eyed, looked giddy from the excitement of it all.

Yeah, the men had figured it out.

Sofia had been nursing a single glass of DeLoach Chardonnay all evening. Suddenly, she slapped her hand on the table, interrupting the murmurings. A hush fell over the group. Sofia aimed her finger in Ranger's face and grew red. "Our son," she said slowly. "You said _our son_."

I couldn't take it anymore. I was ready to burst!

"It's a _boy_, people!" I blurted out, exasperated but smiling. "Sofia got it! You all completely missed what Ranger said. I guess it's time to cork the wine bottles!"

Everyone began yelling at once. My father got up and hugged Ranger and I tightly, mumbling something that sounded a _lot_ like, "Finally, I'll have a grandson to help offset all these women. And Kloughn." My mother squealed and jumped up to hug Mrs. Manoso.

After embracing me tightly, Grandma Mazur sidled up to Ranger and nudged him, winking. "Good work, soldier," she said loudly. "You and that excellent package of yours -

"Mother!" my mom cried indignantly from across the table. Mary Alice and Angie had pulled Samantha out of her high chair and were dancing her around the dining room, singing a made-up jingle about Sam's new baby brother that was on the way. Alex and Sofia were taking in the scene unfolding in front of them, watching with pained expressions on their faces. Valerie and Albert were chasing after Mary Alice, who had just galloped into the front foyer with Samantha under one skinny arm.

"Two hands," they were shouting.

Ranger politely hugged Grandma and then held her at arms length. "Edna, it gives me such pride to know that you appreciate all of the hard work my excellent package performs in order to produce great-grandchildren for you." He kissed her on the cheek and turned her around before ushering her back over to my mother. He turned to me and shrugged. "I made the decision to humor her, babe."

"Good job," I replied.

When the melee had died down and everyone was seated again, Ella brought out the pumpkin pies. After each of us had been served a generous slice topped with Ella's homemade whipped topping and vanilla bean ice cream, the table grew silent and the sounds of content diners were all that could be heard.

Alex was the first to break the silence. "So Santos's wife is expecting, too," he stated around a mouthful of pie.

Ranger nodded. "Lester and Dayna are having a girl. Tank and Lula haven't found out what they're having yet."

"That Lester and Tank," Grandma spoke up, shaking her head, a mischievious glint in her eye. "Boy, all these references to hot bounty hunters with excellent packages sure have me in a state."

I leaned over to nudge Mr. and Mrs. Manoso. "You'll have to excuse my grandmother," I told them quietly. "Seems as though she may be having a reaction to the antioxidants in the red wine."

What went unsaid was that Grandma had managed to get her mitts on a shipment of East Indian aphrodisiacs that had somehow landed in the care of Dougie Kruper and Walter "Moonman" Dunphy, the resident Burg street pharmacists and illegal contraband salesmen. She'd run into Mooner two weeks ago at Giovicchinni's and had later purchased several bottles of the lime green pills from him with hopes to "get lucky" with old Ed Marchesi, the boisterous geezer of a leader from the Trenton K of C chapter. Ed had loads of ear hair and liver spots from hell, but Grandma felt he was still young enough to rev her engine, so to speak. My mom and I had collected what we thought were all of the aphrodisiac bottles, but Grandma clearly must still have one stashed somewhere in her room.

I made a mental note to search high and low for the remaining bottle before Tank, Lester, Ranger, or poor unsuspecting Bobby became the physical targets of Grandma's East Indian-induced lust.

The Manosos nodded politely to me and went back to forking pie and ice cream into their mouths. I saw them exchange a brief, worried glance and decided that this would be the last Plum-Manoso family dinner for awhile. I figured it would be best to let everything die down until Christmas before inviting both families over to the house again.

"So do you have any names picked out?" Valerie asked Ranger and I after awhile.

I nodded and smiled. "Since this will be our first boy, we figured we'd name him after Ranger."

Several _awwwws_ floated through the air. Mr. Manoso clapped Ranger on the back and said, "You're carrying on the family name, hijo. I'm thrilled for you both." He leaned over and kissed Ranger on the side of the head. Mr. Manoso turned to face the rest of us. "The new baby will be the third Ricardo Carlos Manoso," he announced proudly.

Grandma smirked and shifted her uppers around in her mouth before opening it to say something. I pleaded with God to not let her say something utterly mortifying or completely embarrassing.

My prayers went unanswered. "So," she said, turning to Mr. Manoso and throwing him a saucy grin. "You must have an excellent package, too, hunh? Like father, like son? Is that how it goes in your _familia_?" She gestured towards Ranger, who was doing a slow burn in the seat next to me.

Seriously, just kill me now.

I leaned over to Ranger and whispered in his ear, "I know you're armed. Hand it over!"

Ranger shook his head. "Get in line, babe," he whispered back.

* * *

If you thought Thanksgiving dinner was chock full of Grandma Mazur's inappropriate innuendo, it definitely didn't come _close_ to the mayhem at our Christmas feast. The only difference was that more unfortunate souls were added into the mix.

Since Lester and Dayna weren't leaving town and Tank and Lula had nowhere else to go, I had Ella set four extra place settings at the holiday dinner table. The evening had started out okay, but towards the end of the meal Grandma'd put away so much red wine that her eyes became unfocused and she kept calling my mother "Linny." Ella had promptly entered the dining room and corked the bottle of Cabernet that Grandma had been hitting for most of the evening, effectively ending her drinking spree.

A little too late, Ella.

The icing on the cake was the pandemonium that had occurred during dessert. Grandma had been eyeing Lester and Tank all evening and it was no secret to anyone at the table that she thought they were attractive. Seemingly unable to continue to resist Santos's sexy charm, his sparkling brown eyes, or knee-melting lopsided grin, Grandma finally got up from her seat and teetered over to Lester.

"I want those luscious lips right up against mine," she'd announced to him. Before anyone knew what was happening, Grandma had Lester in a lip-lock so intense that poor Lester was unable to move from the shock of it all.

Everyone began yelling at once. Dayna held her linen napkin over her mouth and gasped, completely unsure of how to save her man from Grandma's hormone attack. My mother chugged her Chardonnay until a healthy flush returned to her previously-paled cheeks. She clutched my father's arm with a vice grip and stared helplessly at the scene playing out in front of her.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," my father exclaimed. Tank, who had vacated his seat from across the table, finally managed to unwind Grandma's skinny arms from around Les's neck and pull her face away from his, leaving Lester red-cheeked and sputtering angrily.

"Mother," my mom cried. "I can't believe you!"

Grandma winked at everyone and hobbled back to her seat. "I've still got it."

Needless to say, things deteriorated rapidly after that and it really wasn't long before Ranger and I were ushering everyone out the front door with hasty good-byes and rushed yuletide well-wishes.

Since the last two family dinners at the Manoso homestead featured my grandmother wreaking havoc in maniacal situations, Ranger and I were both ready to have some fun with our friends without worrying whether she'd show up and make a total hodgepodge of things. When my mother had called the day after Christmas and told me that she and my father were taking Grandma, Valerie, Kloughn, and the girls to Seaside Heights for New Year's Eve, I figured it would be the perfect opportunity for Ranger and I to throw the bash of all bashes to end the year with a bang.

Upon receiving Ranger and I's save-the-date card for our New Year's Eve Blow-Out, Lester, Tank, and Bobby had all initially declined, thinking that Grandma Mazur might be there, punch-drunk on champagne and squeezing the tight ass of every Merry Man in sight. After Ranger had threatened the men with week upon week of mind-numbing monitor duty and the perpetual manning of the underground garage guard gate as punishment if they turned down our invitation, I'd immediately received three RSVP text messages from the core team, each member stating they would be attending the celebration "for absolute certain."

I'd also taken the liberty to return their texts, informing them that Grandma Mazur would be, for sure, out of town. Collective sighs of relief could practically be heard from all seven floors of RangeMan Enterprises.

With the Christmas holiday thankfully behind us, I was able to focus on getting ready for New Year's and plotting out the last half of my pregnancy. So far, so good. A healthy weight gain, clearer skin, non-swollen ankles, and longer hair due to the prenatal vitamins.

Not to mention my boobs looked _awesome_. Thank heaven for small favors.

Poor Lula. She'd gotten the short end of the stick when God was handing out pregnancy features. Her ankles were already swollen to the size of elephant feet and her five-month tummy was starting to look more like full-term. She was currently sprawled across my living room carpet, lying on her side with a large pillow under her belly for support. She was flipping through the latest issue of_ The Enquirer. _A white Blow-Pop stick was poking out of the corner of her mouth.

"Hunh," she commented under her breath. "Says here that Snooki's done the nasty with every guy in the house, including The Situation and that hottie Ronnie." Lula smacked her lips around her lollipop and continued to scan the page. "She even got it on with J-Woww. Imagine that."

If she believed _any_ of the ridiculous stuff printed in that rag magazine, we were all in trouble. I glared at her. "You're supposed to be helping me plan the menu for the party," I said darkly. "Not catching up on the latest fake Hollywood gossip."

"This here's quality news," protested Lula, waving her lollipop at the two-page spread.

I handed her a price list that had been given to me by Astor Catering. "I've got some news for _you_," I said to her. "Unless you want Pino's pizza for dinner on New Year's, you'd better start scanning that menu for ideas."

Lula harrumphed for a few moments but finally pushed her magazine aside and snapped open the menu. The front door clicked open and Dayna breezed into the living room from the foyer, looking relaxed and completely at ease. She set down her handbag and went straight for the fridge in the kitchen to pull out a bottle of water.

"I had Julio give me a pregnancy massage today," she announced to Lula and I, coming back into the living room and flopping onto the couch. "It was heaven."

"From the looks of it he gave you a little more than just a massage," Lula mumbled.

Dayna made a face and retorted haughtily, "No, he didn't. He was a perfect gentleman."

Yeah, right. "Lester sat in there with you, didn't he," I stated dryly.

Dayna frowned and nodded, totally annoyed. "Of course. He claimed that he went along with me to the spa to "keep an eye on things" and so that he could "make sure my sneakers and purse stayed safe." Dayna moved her fingers in air quotes to emphasize Santos's words.

"That was slick, Les," I joked, referring to the stunt he'd apparently pulled at the massage place. "Julio's married. Besides, I don't know why you think he's so sexy. He kind of looks like a jacked-up, juicehead version of Enrique Iglesias with a mohawk." I turned to Lula and grimaced. "And what's with that accent of his?"

She shook her head sadly. "It almost sounds Scandinavian or somethin'," Lula remarked. "I thought he was supposed to be from Costa Rica."

Dayna rolled her eyes and took another one of the Astor Catering menus from the stack on the floor. "What is this place? Their food any good?" She opened the menu's cover and began scanning the entreé choices. She and Lula fell silent as they read, their facial expressions becoming more and more confused with each page they turned.

"_Carpaccio de boeuf_? What the hell is_ Mousse de Foies de Volaille_? And rabbit paté?" Lula snapped the menu shut and tossed it onto the floor. "Fuck that. If you don't order Pino's pizza, I'll beat your ass with a pool stick. I ain't feastin' on no rabbit guts." Dayna nodded in agreement, tossing her menu on the floor to join Lula's.

"You guys," I protested. "I wanted this party to be elegant and classy!"

"Steph," Dayna began gently. "It can still be elegant and classy with food we can actually pronounce. You don't have to order fancy French cuisine just to have an elaborate celebration. In fact, why don't we all just make one of our favorite dishes and bring it over? I'm sure the guys would rather have some of my homemade ravioli and your delicious meatballs instead of the beef mousse stuff."

"And maybe somebody could pick up a Pino's pizza beforehand," Lula added. "You know, since we're goin' Italian and all. I'm just sayin'."

"Yeah?" I asked, still a little unsure. "You don't think the guys will mind?"

"Of course not," Dayna said. "Besides, Lester'll probably say something like, "Damn. I can't pair this Corona with any of that mousse and rabbit paté. I'm not really a wine-drinking, French-eating kinda guy, ya know? Now if anything's gonna be French around here, it's gonna be the kiss I lay on my wife as soon as I get her outfit off tonight."

Dayna's deep-voiced imitation of her whacky husband was so on-target and accurate that Lula and I immediately dissolved into hysterics. "I can _so_ see Sexy saying that shit," Lula managed to say between guffaws.

When we'd calmed down, I tore the Astor Catering menus up and tossed them off to the side. "All right," I said, exasperated. "No more fancy catered New Year's Eve party. Just a bunch of friends, having a good time with normal food. I just hope Ranger'll be okay with it."

"That's what I'm talkin' about," Lula exclaimed, punching me lightly on the arm. "I ain't feedin' my daughter no paté. Who knows if we're even allowed to eat that shit, being pregnant and all?"

I shrugged. "I have no idea what paté even is. And I'm not really all that interested in finding out, either."

The front door opened and a shirtless Ranger strolled into the foyer, sweaty from the gym and looking finer than any man had a right to. He tossed his weight-lifting gloves and iPod onto the sideboard in the hall and joined Lula, Dayna, and I in the living room. He saw the ripped-up Astor Catering menus laying all over the floor and raised an eyebrow, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips and his hands firmly planted on his hips.

"Babe?" he said questioningly, looking from me to the menus and back again. Dayna and Lula cowered together, avoiding eye contact with Ranger. I was seriously hoping that he wasn't looking forward to a fancy New Year's Eve party and wouldn't be crushed when I broke the news to him that us girls and Pino's would be the feature caterers for the evening's casual, fun-filled bash.

Time to bite the bullet. Sighing, I explained, "We decided against the fancy French food and chic dinner party."

Ranger was silent for a long while, peering at me through squinted eyes. Finally, he said, "Does this mean I'm off the hook as far as wearing a tux goes?"

"Well, yeah."

Ranger full-on grinned and pulled me to my feet before wrapping his arms around my huge middle. "Love you, babe. Thanks."

I smiled and let out a breath of relief. "You're welcome. I'm glad you're okay with a casual get-together with all our friends. I wasn't sure, since you seemed to like the idea of a fancy dinner party."

"Only because that's what I thought you wanted, babe." Ranger kissed me just below my ear. "I need a shower. Want to join me?"

A flush started at my toes and worked its way up. By the time it reached certain areas, I was nearly dizzy with anticipation. Ranger nuzzled my neck and I felt his hot breath caress the skin over my pulse point. "Sure," I managed to say.

Lula and Dayna had gotten up and were huddled near the foyer. "I'd better get outta here, quick. I hate when they pull that sexy shit in front of me. It makes me hot and tingly all over," I heard Lula say to Dayna.

Dayna nodded. "I hear you." With that, they both hightailed it out the front door, leaving Ranger and I standing alone in the living room, laughing.

"So this is what I'm going to do to you first," Ranger husked out, taking my hand and leading me towards the door to our bedroom. "I'll start by slowly removing your shoes and socks -

I didn't hear him because I'd already slammed us into the master bathroom and was busy yanking down our pants and my underwear.

Waaaaay ahead of you on this one, RangeMan.

* * *

I swear, there isn't a show on TV these days that Ryan Seacrest doesn't host.

Dayna, with a crab puff in one hand and the TV remote to the plasma in the other, came into the living room and began hitting buttons on the clicker, effectively ending Lester and Bobby's Patriots / Tampa Bay game stint.

"Baby, come on!" and "Awww, Dayna! Third quarter just started!" rang out across the room.

Dayna stuffed the crab puff into her mouth and chewed. "Time for _New Year's Rockin' Eve_," she announced before swallowing. She managed to find ABC and, sure enough, Seacrest's annoying blond head popped onto the screen amidst thousands of screaming partiers in Times Square Manhattan.

"What about football?" protested Hal, who had been sucked into the football force field along with Les and Bobby.

"Sorry, guys. It's a New Year's Eve tradition. We _have_ to watch Dick Clark's _New Year's Rockin' Eve_." Dayna was no-nonsense as she finished off her crab puff and settled onto the couch to watch the events leading up to the countdown.

We made it to New Year's Eve, finally. True to our words, we'd bagged the French dinner party and went with a fun, casual night of great food and cameraderie with our closest friends. We had a smorgasboard of various yummy treats on the dining room table: smoked Irish salmon with onion slices and capers, beef empanadas, Dayna's homemade ravioli and garlic bread, a couple of Pino's pizzas, my seasoned meatballs, Lula's famous crab puffs, potato salad and baked beans, fried chicken, fruit with yogurt dip, and, for dessert, Ana's crème brûlée made from scratch. Everyone had made a plate and was sitting around in the living room, either with a beer or a soda or bottle of water.

I was seated next to Erik's foreign exchange student girlfriend, Aurora. "Stefania," she said, turning to me and pointing to the crab puff on her plate. "In Italia, there are no things that look like this. Can you tell me what is this?"

"Sure," I replied. "It's a crab puff."

"What means _puff_?"

I hesitated, not sure of how the hell to answer that. Finally, I said, "It's a ball of crab meat and breading."

Aurora nodded. "Ah, yes. Ball. A crab's testicle." She picked up the crab puff and took a bite. "Molto deliziosa."

Yikes. "Wait, Aurora -

"Ohmigod!" Dayna suddenly shrieked from across the room. "I just felt the baby kick for the _first time ever_!" Lester nearly spilled his beer getting out of his armchair before racing across the room to Dayna. Excited shrieks filled the living room. Les immediately had his hands on his wife's bulging stomach and Dayna moved them strategically from place to place so that he could feel the baby should she decide to kick again.

A few seconds passed and Lester suddenly lifted his left hand off Dayna's belly so quickly you'd have thought he got burned. "Holy shit," he exclaimed to the rest of us. "She's in there! She kicked my hand!"

Dayna laughed. "Of course she's in there," she said to him. "Did you think I'd just gotten really fat over the past five months?"

Lester made a face. "No, baby," he retorted. He put his hand back underneath Dayna's navel. "It's just so amazing, that's all." He leaned over and kissed Dayna. "I just can't believe we made her." He rubbed Dayna's belly. "I love you."

"Lester," gushed Dayna, turning pink and squeezing the hand of Les's that was on her belly. "I love you, too."

I was getting another one of those toothaches that I usually acquired when Lester and Dayna acted all syrupy-sweet around the rest of us. Lula wanted to feel Dayna's baby kick, so she shoved Lester aside and settled in for the long haul. Almost immediately, Lula's hand was bumped by what she was convinced was a tiny fist.

"I think I've just been punched," Lula exclaimed, confused. Everybody laughed.

Ranger came up to sit in Aurora's vacated spot and handed me a glass of water. "I've got Santos's nuts saved in a jar in my office, so that he can reattach them after the baby's born."

"Stop," I chided, lightly smacking his arm. "They're actually pretty cute. And speaking of nuts, Aurora thinks that a crab puff is some kind of edible crustacean testicle. I haven't gotten the chance to set her straight."

Ranger chuckled. "I don't know how Erik manages to communicate with her," he whispered to me. "She speaks almost no English."

"Who needs deep communication when the sex is so good?"

"How do you know that?"

Crap. Busted. "RangeMan locker room talk."

"May I ask what you were doing in my mens' locker room?"

I hesitated before finally answering, "Lula and I needed a little...eye candy. We'd just started our second trimester, and you know how THAT song and dance goes. You and Tank were in Boston for the weekend on business...we were feeling a little frisky, so we snooped, okay? Is it such a big deal?"

Ranger's face turned an interesting shade of rouge and his eyes were blazing with anger. "Yes," he said through clenched teeth. "Babe, I really don't know what to say. Please tell me you didn't see anything you shouldn't have seen."

"No," I grumbled. "We were too afraid to go inside, anyway. I overheard Erik talking to Cal while I was hidden outside the doorway."

"Babe," Ranger said, a hint of a smile in his voice. "You're too much."

Someone turned the TV's volume up to near blasting and a hush fell over the living room. "In about two minutes we'll begin the countdown," Seacrest exclaimed. For some reason, I wanted to punch him at that moment. "The infamous New Year's Eve ball will be dropping to help ring in the new year."

"Everybody partner up," Ana announced. "This is it, people!"

Several pairs were already sitting together, ready to kiss after yelling, "Happy New Year!" I quickly dashed into Samantha's nursery and lifted her out of her crib so that she could see the ball drop on TV. I carried her back out to the living room and handed her to Ranger, who kissed her sleep-creased cheek and pointed to the big orange ball on the plasma screen. Her big brown eyes lit up and, somehow, she seemed to realize the excitement of it all and woke up completely then, clapping her little hands together in anticipation.

It was time. "Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two...one...HAPPY NEW YEAR!" we all screamed. _Auld Lang Syne _blared out of the plasma's speakers as we all shouted to each other, hugging and kissing all around. Ranger squeezed me to him and I could feel his wide smile against my cheek. Next to us, Lester and Dayna were kissing, Lester's hands on Dayna's belly. Bobby and Ana were in a similar pose. Lula and Tank were also kissing, but instead of Tank's hands on Lula's belly, they were gripping her ass as she plastered herself up against his front. I chuckled to myself as I thought of the Brown Bear Lovin' that would, no doubt, be taking place on four after the celebration was over.

"The party was really great, babe," Ranger husked into my ear as he held Samantha and I close. "You girls did a good job."

"A total success," I agreed. "Can you believe that next year we'll have _two_ children to celebrate New Year's Eve with?"

"Yes, I can. It'll be awesome, babe." Ranger smiled and leaned over to kiss me again. "Love you."

"Love you, too." I smiled. "So...Happy New Year's, Batman."

Ranger returned my grin. "Happy New Year's, Wonder Woman."


	12. Stupid Cupid

**Hey everyone! It's been so long since I've updated and I apologize. I had to wait for some stuff to blow over before I could actually start writing again. I haven't forgotten about this story or Step Up! Please excuse my lack of updating. I hope you're all ready for the next installment of Oh, Baby! because it's a pretty long one (sorry!) so enjoy and thanks for sticking with me!**

I dialed the phone number for Claudio's and waited on the line for someone to pick up. Sixty four rings later, an elderly-sounding man answered.

"Good evening, Claudio's New York, this is Marcel speaking," he crowed.

I cleared my throat and tried to sound as sexy as possible. "Yes, hello. I'd like to make a reservation for four people this Saturday," I replied.

"This Saturday? I'm sorry, miss, but that's Valentine's Day. We're booked solid."

"Surely you can make an exception," I crooned. "This is very important."

The man sighed. "What is your name, miss?"

Without missing a beat, I replied, "Aniston is the last name. First name Jennifer."

I'd barely gotten that last part out when, "I can seat four people, by the window overlooking the outdoor garden, at eight o'clock, Ms. Aniston."

"Thank you very much. See you Saturday." I quickly disconnected and turned to Dayna. "We're both going to hell for this."

"Yeah, but we'll be going to hell stuffed with five-star mushroom risotto and their fabulous osso bucco." She got up and made her way to the kitchen. I heard the fridge open and shut and when she returned to the living room, she tossed me a bottle of water before twisting open her own.

"Don't forget their homemade tiramisu," I reminded her after she reseated herself on the couch. I sipped my water and waggled my eyebrows.

Dayna sighed. "Forget the damn tiramisu. I want the cheesecake. I'll make a special trip any day just to get some."

I looked at her. "You know, it's sad that you're willing to drive all the way to SoHo for a piece of cheesecake."

"And sending Ranger into Philadelphia for Coconut Juniors is totally normal?" Dayna replied dryly.

I squirmed uncomfortably on the leather couch. "No, but -

"I rest my case." Dayna smiled and looked at the clock on her phone. "Lester's due back to the apartment any minute. I guess I'd better go get cleaned up. Thanks for dinner, Steph, it was great." She capped her water bottle and did her best to make a dignified launch off of the couch, but her belly was just too big. She finally grabbed hold of the coffee table and tried to yank herself forward, but only succeeded in dragging the coffee table closer to the couch. She blew out a sigh and flopped back onto the cushions. "I give up."

The front door opened. _"Steph? Baby?"_ Lester called out from the foyer.

"We're in the living room," I yelled back. Moments later, he came into view and stood in front of us on the couch. He crossed his huge arms over his chest and smirked.

"I'd get up to hug you, but I'm vertically-challenged at the moment," Dayna said to him.

Lester went over to her and placed his hands around the small of her back. "On the count of three, I'll pull and you push. Got it?"

"This is so pathetic," she muttered as she got ready to push herself off the couch. "You stink, by the way. What'd you do, get locked in a room with a hundred smokers?"

"I'm glad to see you too, honey," Lester replied sarcastically. He yanked as Dayna pushed and she popped up off the couch and into his arms. "The guys wanted to go to Shorty's for beer and pizza and a couple rounds of pool."

"Where's Ranger? Did you leave him at Shorty's?" I countered.

Les shook his head. "Took a detour to his office." He turned back to Dayna. "I'm very interested in going home right now and washing off all this nicotine and tar."

"And I'm very interested in watching." Dayna turned to grab her shoulder bag off of the coffee table and slid on her sandals.

"Who are these "guys" that you had dinner with tonight? And how does Ranger know them, too?" I asked Lester as I walked him and Dayna into the foyer.

"They were in the 3rd Infantry Division with me when I was in the Army. Before Ranger got into Special Forces, he was head of our unit."

"Oh. So they're ex-Army guys."

Lester looked at me and blinked. "Yeah, Steph." He ushered Dayna out the door and over to the elevator. "Shit. I left my keys on the coffee table. Go ahead down, baby. I'll meet you there."

"You sure? I can wait," Dayna replied as the elevator doors opened up.

"Go ahead. I'll catch up with you."

"Okay." Dayna disappeared into the elevator and the doors slid shut. Lester grabbed my arm and hauled me back into my apartment before slamming us inside. As soon as the door had clicked shut, he whipped a folded-up piece of catalog page out of his pocket and unfolded it frantically.

"This," he began quietly, "is what I just ordered for my wife today after I left Shorty's. It won't be in until Saturday afternoon, so I'm picking it up before we leave for NYC. I want to give it to her at dinner that evening, for Valentine's Day." Santos jabbed at a picture of a gorgeous diamond-crusted platinum heart pendant, hanging from a delicate matching chain. "I want to know what you think of it."

I took the catalog page in my hands and stared down at the necklace. It was absolutely breathtaking. "It's beautiful," I told him softly. "She'll love it, Lester."

He breathed out a sigh of relief and ran his hands through his thick, toussled spikes. "I mean, nothing in this world is anywhere _near _good enough to give her, but this might come close. I want to show her how much I love her and how much she means to me. And that I'm grateful and amazed every single day that she married me and that she's carrying our daughter." Les growled in frustration. "I just don't know how to tell her all that."

I looked at him. "Why was it so easy for you to tell me all of that, but you're finding it hard to express your feelings to Dayna?"

"I don't know. Maybe because she's Dayna." He stared thoughtfully into space for several moments.

"Hey. I made the reservations with Marcel at Claudio's for Saturday night," I said finally, in a sing-song voice. I smiled at Les to lighten the mood.

His eyes lit up. "You're kidding. You called a week before Valentine's Day? And they weren't booked solid?"

"Eight o'clock. A table for four overlooking the outdoor garden," I said, saying _outdoor garden_ in a posh British accent.

"You're the fucking best, Stephanie." Lester grabbed me and hugged me tightly. "How'd you do it?"

"The reservation's under the name Jennifer Aniston."

"I can't believe Marcel bought that. What a douche."

"Tell me about it." I folded up the catalog page and handed it back to Lester. "You'll be fine. Say what's in your heart. Besides, she's so hormonal that you could tell her you're quitting RangeMan to be a garbage barge captain and she'll probably still cry and say she loves you."

"Garbage barge captain?"

"You know what I mean."

* * *

You know, it's extremely hard to find a sexy red dress in a maternity store. I'm not sure how many of you have tried to do that in the past, but it proved to be a nearly impossible task for me.

It was Saturday morning. The morning of the big day. And I had less than eight hours in which to locate, try on, and purchase a scarlet dress that actually fit over my bulging boobs and basketball stomach. Dayna and I had exhausted every Motherhood Maternity in New Jersey. We'd scoured malls, shopping plazas, big department stores, and even online to try and find the perfect red dress for me to celebrate Valentine's Day with Ranger. Luckily, Dayna didn't care if she wore red so she'd settled on a pink cocktail dress from Macy's that I was _certain _Lester would have no problem ripping in half in order to get to her.

I, on the other hand, like my clothing way too much to let Ranger destroy it in a lust-filled rage. And besides, that isn't really Mr. Impeccable Self-Control's style, anyway. Since I hadn't found anything at all in the stores before today, I'd gotten up at the crack of dawn and was now frantically clawing through all of the non-red dresses in my closet, alternating between trying each one on and wishing for a miraculous delivery from the Sexy Red Dress Fairy. I had heartburn from hell and my stomach felt like it was in a constant free-fall.

If Merriam-Webster actually had pictures next to each entry in their dictionary, a not-so-flattering photo of me would be directly under the word _panicked. _

Enter Ella.

"Estefania," I heard Ella call. "I have something I'd like for you to see."

I poked my head out from my walk-in closet and watched warily from the dressing room doorway as Ella hurried into my bedroom and hung a plastic garment bag from the armoire doors. "What's in the bag, Ella?"

Ella beamed and smoothed her hand down the front of the garment bag. "When I was _embarazada _with my eldest son, Juan Carlos, I used to complain to my mother that nothing fit me anymore. She was such a talented seamstress. Many beautiful things have been sewn by her hands."

I came completely out of my dressing room and approached Ella. "Is there a dress in that bag?" I asked her, pointing to the armoire.

Ella nodded and began to unzip the garment bag. When the plastic fell away from the sides, what was left was a beautiful red silk cocktail dress on the hanger. My breath caught in my throat and I momentarily went dizzy.

"My mother made this dress for me when I was about as far along as you are. And since you have been having difficulty finding something special for tonight, I thought you'd might like to wear it."

My knees went weak and I caught myself before I sank down onto the carpet. "Ella...this dress is beautiful. If it fits, you'd really let me wear it tonight?"

Ella grinned again and nodded once before approaching me. She took my face in both of her hands and kissed my forehead. "To you, Estefania, I would give the world."

Well, my throat just choked right up. With shaking hands and tearing eyes, I gently removed the dress from its hanger and held it up to get a better look at it. It was absolutely perfect for tonight. The sleeves were wrist-length and red chiffon. The empire-waisted skirt flowed from the bodice and the hem ended just above my knees. The neckline was sexy yet tasteful, and there was even a sewn-in bra.

Ella was practically crackling with excitement. "Hurry, mi'ja, try it on. I want to see how it looks on you!" She clasped her hands together and nearly blinded me with her mile-wide white smile.

I stepped into my dressing room and shucked my sweats. The dress was brilliantly illuminated in the overhead lights, and I had to smack myself to see if I was dreaming. If, by a miracle of God, that the dress were to fit...I'd owe Ella for a lifetime. I drew down the zipper on the side of the dress and slipped it off the hanger. Gingerly, I slid it on and nearly passed out when I began to zip up the side and found that the dress was a perfect fit. I stood in front of the mirror in a daze, wondering if this was too good to be true. I decided that it wasn't and opened my dressing room door to find Ella grinning eagerly on the other side.

"It fits," I breathed. I'm sure my smile was as wide as the Amazon, but I didn't care. I had my red dress!

"And it looks absolutely beautiful," gushed Ella. "Turn around, let me see that rear end of yours." Ella swatted me on the behind and waited while I twirled around. "You've got the whole package, chica."

I blushed. "It's this pregnancy," I reasoned. "Both Dayna and I are trying to deal with everything expanding."

"And Lula?"

"Lula was already expanded to begin with," I muttered. I twirled a few times in front of the bathroom mirror and Ella. "I don't know how to thank you for this, Ella. It's perfect." I folded Ella into my arms and squeezed her tightly.

"Just bring it home in one piece," Ella said wryly. "Which means _no_ lending it to Dayna."

She was right about that. "I'd better go take this off, I don't want Ranger to see me in it before we're supposed to leave tonight."

"Do you have a warm coat?" asked Ella. She followed me to my dressing room and helped me out of the dress.

I nodded. "A black fur one. It should be warm enough. I'll just stuff myself into some pantyhose and call it a night."

Ella made a face. "Ugh, pantyhose."

"Yeah. I hear you."

* * *

Ranger was changing Samantha's diaper when I walked into the nursery. I tightened my robe ties and smoothed back my curls.

"We have an hour before we need to leave," I told him. "All I have to do is put on my dress and we're out the door. Have you heard from Lester?"

He shook his head. "Actually, I haven't. I know about him picking up that piece of jewelry for Dayna at Tiffany's near Philly, but I haven't gotten a call from him since this morning. Let me call him now." Ranger handed Samantha to me and whipped his cell out of his pants pocket. He dialed Lester and stared at me while he waited for him to answer. After six rings, I heard the voicemail pick up.

_"Hey, it's Lester. At the sound of the beep, you know what to do."_ Beep.

"Santos. Call me." Ranger disconnected and raised his eyebrows at me. "Call his wife. See if he's home."

I carried Samantha into the kitchen and picked up the cordless, Ranger trailing behind me. I dialed their apartment and Dayna picked up.

"Hey," she said breathlessly.

"We're leaving in one hour," I told her over the speakerphone. "You guys about ready?"

"Well, I am, but Lester's not home. He and Bobby were supposed to help Bobby's parents move a piano into their house this afternoon, but they're not back yet. His phone rings and then just goes to voicemail."

_Move a piano?_ Couldn't have thought of a better cover-up, hunh, Les? I stifled a giggle and said, "Okay, well come over as soon as you guys are ready."

"You got it."

I disconnected and glanced uneasily at Ranger. "I know he's not with Bobby. Bobby and Ana went down to A.C. with Tank and Lula. What do we do? Call Tiffany's?"

Ranger shook his head. "Shit. It's not like Santos to ignore phone calls. Especially from his wife." He knocked his knuckles on the granite kitchen countertop and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. "Give him thirty minutes. If he hasn't called or isn't home by then, I'm not sure what we'll end up doing." He disappeared into the bedroom and I heard the door click shut.

The doorbell rang and my heart leapt. Was it Lester? I dashed into the foyer with Samantha and threw the locks, only to open the door to my mother and Grandma Mazur. I let out a sigh and stepped aside to let them in. They trooped through the door with their overnight bags and set them down in the foyer.

"Hi," I said to them. "Happen to see Lester on your way up?"

Grandmother Mazur winked and teetered on her heels as she removed her coat. "That the hot bounty hunter with the brunette wife? I'll tell you, if I'da seen him he'd be -

"Mom?" I said brightly, turning to my mother. "How about you?"

My mother took Samantha from me and shook her head. "Only Cal was downstairs when we pulled in. And we rode up the elevator with the very nice blond gentleman." Had to be Hal. "By the way, next time you see that fellow please apologize for what your grandmother did." She placed Samantha down and Sam toddled over to Grandma Mazur, staring up at her with her huge brown baby eyes.

"What did she do?" I almost didn't want to hear it, but it was necessary if I had to apologize properly to poor Hal.

Mom sighed. "Pinched him on the bottom." My mother set down her coat and headed into the living room. She switched on the plasma and the opening jingle of the five o'clock news blasted through the apartment.

"Grandma, we've been through this," I began. "It's nice to look, but _never_ touch."

Grandma harrumphed and pouted. "I'll just bet that wasn't your motto when you first started seeing my grandson-in-law."

I'll just bet that she was absolutely right. "That's neither here nor there," I said lamely. "The problem is, we're missing Lester. He went to Philadelphia to pick up a piece of jewelry that he'd ordered for Dayna, and he should have been back by now. We're supposed to leave in forty-five minutes for SoHo."

"SoHo?" my mother exclaimed from the couch. "They have nice restaurants here."

I sighed and felt my rogue eye twitch start up. "Yeah, but it's Claudio's. We've all been wanting to go back there and I was able to get a reservation for tonight at eight. Anyways, Lester isn't picking up his cell. I don't want to alarm Dayna and ruin his surprise in case he's on his way back, but I'm not sure what to do if he isn't here by the time we have to leave."

"Call the jeweler in Philly," suggested my grandmother.

"I thought about that," I replied. "Let me look up the number." I headed over to the small computer desk set up in the living room and powered on the laptop. My mother and Grandma Mazur had settled onto the couch with Samantha, ready for a night of babysitting and toddler mayhem. I Googled Tiffany & Co. in Philadelphia and scrolled through page after page, looking for a phone number.

"Some breaking news out of Pennsylvania tonight," began Michelle Dawn Mooney on the news. "Crooks have ripped off several jewelry stores in the Rittenhouse Square section of Philadelphia." I whipped my head around to stare at the TV and motioned for my mother to use the remote to boost the volume. "Late this afternoon, two men dressed as Cupids were seen robbing both a Kay Jewelers and a Tiffany & Co. on South Broad Street before escaping in a black Dodge minivan and making away with more than ten thousand dollars worth of jewelry."

"Just despicable," agreed Michelle's news cohort, Dan Carrigan. "I hope they catch those bandits. Several store patrons were also robbed, but many were able to make an escape before they could be harmed. Phaedra Laird has more on this story, from Philadelphia. Phaedra?"

When the screen shot cut to the attractive blonde reporter, I leapt out of the computer chair and barged into the bedroom where Ranger was tying his tie. "The jewelry store where Lester went this afternoon got held up," I exclaimed. "What do we do? How do we know if he was there when it happened?" It felt like a rock had settled into my stomach and was slowly making its way down into my colon via peristalsis. It was not a good feeling at all.

Ranger stopped cold and immediately whipped out his cell. He dialed Lester and got his voicemail again. He then dialed Tank and managed to get him on the line at some restaurant down in A.C.

"Bossman," I heard Tank say. "Everything okay?"

"Santos may have been involved in a hold-up at a jewelry store in Philly," barked Ranger. "See if you can make some calls. I'm heading out to Pennsylvania in a few."

"Ten-four." Tank disconnected.

Ranger approached me and took my face in his hands. "Babe. I know I can't ask you not to worry, but please at least try. Get Dayna up here and explain the situation. Be there for her, all right?" Ranger jammed a Glock into the waist of his dress pants and threw on a leather coat. He kissed me thoroughly and I trailed after him, into the foyer. Grandma Mazur and my mother joined us, each with a worried expression on their faces.

"Please be careful," I whimpered. "It's Valentine's Day."

"I know. I love you, babe." After one last kiss, Ranger threw the locks on the front door and opened it. Dayna was on the other side, poised to ring the doorbell. She had her hair done and her makeup on, but she was wearing a pink bathrobe instead of her dinner dress.

"Shit," she exclaimed, taking one look at Ranger and paling. "What's going on? Why isn't Lester home yet? Have you heard from him?"

"Dayna," I began, taking her by the shoulders and steering her into the apartment. "Look, we need to talk."

"Wha -

Behind us, the front door was still open and the elevator dinged loudly, indicating that it was stopping on our floor. The doors flew open and Lester stepped out, wearing a knee-length black overcoat and looking as though he'd been through Desert Storm without any hair gel.

"Ohmigod," exclaimed Dayna. She wiggled out of my grasp and ran to her husband before throwing her arms around him. "Are you okay? Where have you been?"

"That piano..." he began lamely.

"Fuck the damn piano," Ranger cut in from behind us. "What the hell happened, man? Were you caught up in that robbery?"

Lester nodded, looking exhausted. "Yeah, I was. Bastards stole everybody's cell phones. I could have stopped to call, but I didn't want to waste any more time getting here."

"What robbery?" demanded Dayna.

Les took a deep breath and hugged his wife again. "I ordered something for you from Tiffany's, and I went to pick it up this afternoon before we were supposed to leave for the City. Only some Cupid crooks decided it would be a great chance to rob the place, and made all the customers give up their purchases and wallets and cell phones. My wallet was in my truck because I'd prepaid for what I ordered, so all they got was my BlackBerry."

"And your purchase," I exclaimed. "They got that, too, didn't they? Ugh! They'll rot in hell. They'll get their karma!" I was so mad I was shaking. I felt Ranger's warm hands on my neck, attempting to calm me down.

"Actually," Lester said slowly. He reached into a pocket deep in his coat and began to pull out what looked like a silver chain. He pulled it all the way out and I could see that it was the necklace and heart pendant that he'd showed me the picture of. The one he'd ordered for Dayna, with the platinum chain and diamond-crusted heart charm. My mother and Grandma Mazur were exclaiming behind us, holding Samantha, wanting to get a gander at the necklace.

All of the air left my lungs and Dayna gasped. "You got to keep it?" I breathed.

Lester's knee-melting crooked grin was in place. "Damn right." He untwisted the chain and held it out to Dayna. She took it gingerly in her fingers and I watched as tears sprang to the corners of her eyes.

"How'd you manage that?" Ranger wanted to know.

"Well, I'd taken it out of the box to check it out just before the robbers came in. I stuffed it in my coat before dropping to the ground and covering my head with my hands."

That explained his Hair from Hell. I turned to Dayna. "Do you like it?" I asked her, smiling.

"I love it."

Lester swept her hair away from her neck and clasped the chain and pendant. He turned her around to kiss her and took her face in his hands before drawing in a shaking breath. "I'm so sorry for scaring you today, and for lying about Bobby's mom's piano."

Dayna laughed lightly. "It's okay. You did it for a reason. I'm so glad you're okay."

"Me, too," he sighed. "It's just that...shit, I'm just going to tell you. Fuck it. I want to say that I love you so damn much and I know that nothing on this earth is good enough to give you, but I'm hoping that this necklace will be somewhat of an indicator and you're having our daughter and you are so amazing for that and -

"Lester. Shut up." With that, Dayna pulled his head down and proceeded to kiss him into oblivion. When they came up for air, she smiled fully at him. "I love you more than anything. You didn't have to go to all this trouble."

"Yeah, I did," he said, puzzled. "You're my wife. I'd do it all again ten million times if it means that I'll never spend another second of my life without you."

"Lester," Dayna gushed, the waterworks kicking on. She kissed him again and Ranger punched Les on the shoulder.

"I hate to break up this G-rated party, but we've got fifteen minutes before our estimated time of departure. If we still want to make it to Claudio's, I suggest we hurry." Ranger smirked.

Dayna and Lester looked at each other. "I'm pretty much ready. I just need to get dressed. And your hair looks weird," Dayna said to him.

"Hmmm. Fifteen minutes...I don't think that's enough time to make things X-rated. Not even on one of my good days. Plus we still have to get ready? No way." Lester looked at Ranger and I. "Can I bump it up to twenty if we promise not to fool around first?" Dayna was pleading silently with her eyes.

"NO," the remaining five of us, including Samantha, shouted at them.

* * *

"Right this way," Marcel announced smoothly, leading the four of us toward a candlelit table against a window. "Now, you're sure your reservation is under the name Jennifer Aniston?"

"No," I said haughtily. "It's under Caniston. C-a-n-i-s-t-o-n. Caniston with a C. I believe I clearly told the gentleman Caniston over the phone when I'd made the reservation."

"Hmmm," remarked Marcel dully, realizing that he'd clearly been duped. He set down four menus and adjusted his ascot. "Enjoy your evening."

"He knows," Lester said as soon as Marcel was out of earshot. He chuckled evilly and scooted his seat under the table. "Slick, Steph."

"Who cares? We're in." I flipped open my menu and scanned it for the mushroom risotto. Ranger, to my left, had unfolded his napkin and was glancing around the place as if it were loaded with tux-wearing, undercover white-collar career criminals. His gun bulge was hidden by his jacket, but I knew that he and Lester had enough firepower on their persons to take down Slovakia.

"Quit sizing everybody up," I whispered to him. "Enjoy the evening."

Ranger relaxed slightly. "You're right, babe. Sorry. It's a habit." He opened his menu and began scanning the entrees. Dayna and Lester were across from us, each looking at their menus and Dayna was making these little noises each time she read something that sounded appetizing.

"I'm having the osso bucco," she announced finally. "And cheesecake for dessert."

"That actually sounds good," I added. I snapped my menu shut. "I'll have the same. I'm not really in the mood for the mushroom risotto, anyway."

When the guys had decided what they wanted and we'd given our orders to the waiter, a small commotion in the far left corner caught everyone's attention. Two couples were being seated at a table near another window and several other Claudio's patrons were whispering. Someone even let out a squeal.

"What's going on over there?" Lester wanted to know, craning his neck to get a gander at the scene. "Holy shit. It's Jennifer Aniston!"

"You're kidding," I exclaimed. "Of all the famous names I had to choose from, I picked that one. And with my luck, she actually shows up!" I twisted in my seat and, sure enough, Jennifer Aniston was being seated along with another couple and a guy I didn't recognize. "Too bad she's not still married to Brad Pitt. I'd have loved to seen him in the flesh."

"Literally," breathed Dayna.

"Hey," Lester said darkly to her. "I have ears, you know."

"Oh, honey. You're _way_ hotter than Brad Pitt. Don't worry." Dayna smiled at him and pulled his face to hers for a kiss. As soon as she'd released him and he'd turned back to face the "real" Aniston party, she turned to me and discreetly shook her head. I stifled a giggle and turned to face Ranger, but he was busy ogling Jennifer with Lester.

I nudged him. "Why don't you two go over and say hello?" I said. "She might even give you an autograph."

Ranger turned bright red. "Babe. No way."

"Think she would?" Lester asked us all, biting his lip. "I mean, I heard she's really nice in person."

"After dinner, maybe," Dayna told him. "Let her eat first."

The waiter brought a tray of salads and freshly-baked garlic bread to the table. He handed us each a ceasar and Lester dug into the garlic bread the second the basket hit the table.

"Save some for us," I said dryly.

"You snooze, you lose, Plum." Lester winked at me and I had a sudden urge to hurl my fork at his forehead. He eventually passed me the bread basket and, sure enough, it was empty. I narrowed my eyes and felt my blood pressure rise a notch.

"_Never_ mess with a pregnant woman's food," I said to him through clenched teeth. "You should know this by now."

"Yes, but we're in a restaurant, in public. You wouldn't try to strangle me here, would you?" he replied smugly. "There are a lot of witnesses. Even Jennifer Aniston could testify at the trial."

Luckily, our server was right behind me with a basket of fresh garlic bread. He set it on the table and quietly ducked away.

"You get to live another night, Santos," I said wryly, with a smile. I took a piece as Lester chucked me lightly on the arm.

"Mmmm. Speaking of that," Dayna spoke up around a mouthful of crouton. "I was wondering if you guys wanted to get a place here in the city, since your mother and grandmother agreed to stay the night and watch Samantha, anyway."

I thought for a minute. "But what about Point Pleasant?"

"Truthfully, I kind of like the idea of a hotel room here in Manhattan. It's so beautiful, and it'll be the first time I've ever actually gotten to stay overnight in NYC."

"All right," I agreed. "Let's do that instead of going to the beach house." Lester and Ranger both nodded their approvals. If we stayed somewhere close to SoHo, we wouldn't have to drive far. The taut mocha-latte muscles that spanned my man's smooth, drool-worthy body would be bared to my aching eyes even quicker if our hotel room was only a few blo -

"Babe," Ranger cut in quietly. "Mentally undressing me again?"

Shit. Busted. "What? Is that such a crime? People do it all the time!"

Ranger blushed. "Yes, but you're the only one I want actually doing that."

"Too bad, Batman. When you're as hot as you are, you have to be accustomed to that happening. Besides, you don't ever do that to me, do you?"

Ranger's grin became wicked and heated as his eyes darkened to onyx. "Babe."

Yowza!

* * *

Jennifer Aniston and her gang ate and left pretty quickly. We were still on dessert when the four of them got up and were escorted out of the restaurant.

"Bummer," I said to Ranger and Lester. "You guys wanted her autograph."

"It's okay, Steph," Lester informed me. He folded his napkin and grinned at Ranger. "Damn. And she was on my list, too."

"List?" Dayna inquired.

"You know, my _list_. My list of five famous people that I get to sleep with should I happen to meet them."

"WHAT?" exclaimed Dayna. "You have a _list_?"

Lester extracted a small card out of his wallet and showed Ranger and Dayna and I. Ranger snapped it out of his hand and scanned it. "Jessica Alba?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at Lester, who nodded. "Nice." Ranger continued with Les's list. "Eva Mendes...Michelle Rodriguez...Jennifer Aniston..._Sarah Palin? _You're kidding me, man." Ranger tossed the card back at Lester and shook his head.

"What?" Lester protested, frowning. He tried to put the card back into his wallet but Dayna snatched it out of his hand. "I like a woman who can take charge like that."

Dayna was looking at the card. "It's laminated," she remarked.

Les snatched the card back from her. "Yep. So I can't change my choices." He smiled smugly at the rest of us.

Dayna opened her wallet and extracted a similar-looking card. "Hunh. Well, here's my list."

The look on Lester's face was priceless. "_You_ have a_ list_?" He took the card and began frantically scanning it. "Johnny Depp...seriously? Adam Rodriguez...Jacoby Ellsbury from the Red Sox...David Boreanaz..._Michelle Rodriguez_? Okay, baby. It's weird that we have the same person on both our lists. Is there something that you didn't tell me? Maybe before we got married, perhaps?"

Dayna just smiled evilly and winked at him before taking her list back and replacing it in her wallet.

"Shit...seriously? That would be a mother-fucking dream come true to watch." Lester turned to Ranger. "Ranger, man. Get somebody on the phone who might know Michelle Rodriguez. Call Hollywood. Call the movies. Call fucking Steven Spielberg."

"Lester," Dayna began.

"Call that guy...what's his name? Vin Diesel? Yeah. He might know how we can get a hold of her."

Lester was beyond rambling by this point. He was still seated at the table, frantically searching the internet on his cell. The rest of us had gotten up and were watching him go crazy. Dayna was looking tired and full and flushed. She reached out to touch her husband's arm and Les jumped a mile.

"We're leaving, baby," she informed him. "Time to go."

"Wait, I found a phone number for Universal Studios. I'm calling them."

"Lester, let..it...go." Dayna tugged on his arm.

"Okay, but can we at least find someone who looks like Michelle Rodriguez then?"

* * *

Ranger rubbed his warm hand on my lower back as we strolled down Broome Street. "Babe, this dress is beautiful. Where did you find it?"

I smiled. "Oh, just..." I thought back to Ella's grinning face and her teary words. _To you, Estefania, I would give the world. _"Somewhere really special."

Ranger smiled back and kissed me just below my ear. "Well, you look so gorgeous. I can't wait to show you how much I love you tonight."

"I can't wait, either," I breathed. I turned around and saw Lester walking with Dayna behind us. He'd given up on the Michelle Rodriguez search and was now hugging Dayna to him with his arms around her shoulders. "Should we just drive around until we find a place to stay?"

"I guess so," Ranger replied. "Wait a minute. I actually know of a really great place, but it's not around this neighborhood. We'll have to drive." He stopped walking and turned around to face Les and Dayna. "Let's get back in the truck. I know of a good place to stay."

Dayna's eyes lit up. "Yeah? Is it beautiful? And romantic?"

Ranger just smiled. "You could say that."

The drive to our destination took just under half an hour, with traffic. Ranger pulled the Denali up to the curb of a large, luxurious-looking gray building that was all lit up and had cars and taxis parked like sardines out in front. A bellhop came up to the open car window and greeted Ranger.

"Welcome to The Plaza, sir. May I have someone park your car for you?"

The Plaza? Dayna was behind me, gasping in shock. I, on the otherhand, had a feeling that Ranger was going to take us here. I smiled at him and said, "You'll put her into an early labor."

Dayna was gripping Lester's arm. "Lester, The Plaza! How exciting is this? It's so beautiful! Ranger, you shouldn't have!"

Ranger turned around to grin at Dayna. "Consider it a Valentine's Day present from Steph and I, since it's your first one together as a married couple."

"Thanks, man," Lester said, grinning his lopsided grin and blushing bashfully. "This really is great."

We got our bags loaded onto a luggage cart and a valet roared away in the Denali. Ranger led us all up to the counter and stepped up to a woman in a flashy dress.

"Welcome to The Plaza," she greeted us.

"Two rooms, please," Ranger said. "As far away from each other as you can manage." He grinned wickedly at the clerk and it was so incredibly uncharacteristic of him to do that that I had to laugh. "Carlos Manoso." He handed her a black Amex credit card. "I'm sure you accept this."

"Yes, Mr. Manoso," the clerk replied. "We don't have any guest rooms available at the moment, but two of our suites are available. The Rose Suite and the Edwardian Suite."

"That'll be fine."

I was nearly squealing with delight inside. I glanced over at Dayna and found her flushed with excitement over staying in a suite at The Plaza. The clerk gave us our suite passes and motioned for a member of the concierge to push our luggage cart up to our respective rooms. Lester and Dayna were on the opposite side of the hall from Ranger and I, but not too far away.

When we were settled, Lester and Dayna exited their suite long enough to say good-night to Ranger and I before slamming themselves back into their room.

"Babe," Ranger began, once our door was shut and we were safely in the privacy of our suite. "I'm thinking of trying something new."

"Yeah?" I managed to say. "Like what?"

Ranger approached me like a panther stalking its prey and took a fistfull of my dress in each of his hands. "I'm thinking that I'd like to tear this dress off of you and -

"NO!" I shouted. Startled, Ranger released my dress and staggered backwards.

"Babe?" he questioned.

I sighed. The one time he wants to rip something off of me, he absolutely can't. "Ranger, I'm sorry, but Ella lent me this dress for tonight. Her mother made it for her, and she'd like it returned in one piece. She even gave me specific instructions not to lend it to Dayna for this very reason."

Ranger stared at me for a full minute, his blank face in place. Finally, a huge smile spread across his lips and he took me in his arms. "Okay, then. How about we get the dress put back on the hanger, and then do some underwear-tearing?"

"Okay," I breathed. "But I'm not wearing any."

Ranger groaned and his eyes darkened. "God, Stephanie," he growled. "I want you so bad."

"Then take me," I whispered to him.

Ranger kissed me with a hunger so intense that it left me breathless. He helped me out of my dress, settled me on the luxurious softness of the bed, and knelt between my legs.

"Happy Valentine's Day, babe."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Ranger," I replied just as his hot, soft tongue swept across my throbbing folds.

Oh, boy!

* * *

**Who can just imagine the episode of Friends where Ross makes a "list" and meets Isabella Rosselini? Hysterical! I could barely stop laughing long enough to type that part about Lester and Dayna's lists! Stay tuned for the next chapters, a baby shower is in the works for the girls! **


	13. How To Save A Life

**Hi to all,**

**I've updated! This is a hefty chapter for your reading pleasure, so enjoy. I hope to work on this and Step Up in the next few weeks, so be on the lookout for updates. As always, thank you for reading and an even bigger thank you for reviewing! I'm always open to feedback.**

"Where does this go?" Lula asked me, holding up a lacy lavender tablecloth.

"Dining room," I replied. "That's where the food will be set up."

Lula waddled past me, unfolding the tablecloth as she walked. "All this purple. Makes me feel like I'm livin' inside a cotton candy machine."

"It's what Dayna chose," I reminded her. "The baby's nursery is lavender and white with black furniture. Her favorite color is aqua, but that's more of a boy color." I rubbed my huge belly. "Actually, I kind of like the idea of an aqua room for us. Ranger and I were throwing around ideas on how to decorate Ricky's room. Maybe I'll mention some sort of aquatic, under-the-sea theme to him."

Lula emerged from the dining room, her eyebrows raised in surprise. "I don't think Batman'll go for that," she warned.

I frowned. "Why not?"

"It's a little...wimpy."

"Wimpy?"

Lula shrugged. "I see Ranger wanting more of a manly theme. Like Bounty Hunters and Bad Guys, or Army camouflage. I'll tell you, if he takes the Army idea and runs with it, that baby's nursery'll end up looking like barracks." Lula made her way over to the living room and began sprucing up the arrangements of white lillies that were on every available flat surface.

I followed her. "How the hell would I be able to incorporate Bounty Hunters and Bad Guys into a little boy's nursery?" I asked, flabbergasted. "Get a crib with iron bars? Fashion the changing table into a wall cot hanging down from chains? Order black and white striped crib sheets?"

"Now there's an idea." Lula adjusted the bunches of lavender and white balloons tied to several of the chairs. When she was done, she looked up at me and grinned. "How's the Army-barracks theme looking now, Steph?"

I sighed. "Pretty damn good."

It was Saturday morning. The day of Dayna's baby shower. Since this was her first baby, she'd need _everything._ I'd given her a few girl items I had that were left over from when Samantha was an infant, like a butterfly-print bouncer, a pink Bumbo, and a little playstation. And _tons_ of clothes. Other than that, she'd registered at a couple of places for just about every baby item under the sun.

My front door clicked open and Ana strolled in, carrying a casserole of zucchini bread and a huge gift bag. "Hey, you guys," she called. Lula and I did our best to hurry and greet her, but the speed thing just doesn't work when you're eight months pregnant.

"Hey, girl," Lula said, hugging her and taking the gift bag.

I took the casserole and kissed Ana on the cheek. "Thanks for coming early," I told her. "Everything's set up except for the food."

Lula and I had been slaving away for the past couple of days, making yummy luncheon items and baking cookies and muffins. We were serving finger sandwiches, spinach and cheese croissants, and a couple other easy dishes, along with the baked goods. The wife of a client of Ranger's, who's a pastry chef, made a beautiful lavender and white cake. We had adorned the living room and dining room with balloons, lillies, and pretty lavender candles from Yankee Candle, and had left various spots around both rooms for guests to leave gifts.

I'd given Lula the tasks of organizing some games and making party favors for the guests a few days ago, and although Lula can be somewhat of a mystery to me at times, absolutely nothing could have prepared me for what I found in her box of tricks.

I took the liberty of looking through her collection of baby shower activities that she'd fashioned for Dayna's shower. I pulled out a stack of Xeroxed lavender paper and checked out the first page on the stack. It appeared to be a checklist of some kind. I read the headline aloud and felt my mouth dropping open in shock: _"Guess the sexual position they were in when they conceived?" _Sweet Lord. I quickly set down the stack of papers and continued to root through the bottom of the box. I pulled out condoms filled with lavender M&Ms and tied off with lavender curly ribbon. "Okay, these party favors are totally inappropriate."

"What?" Lula protested. "They're not lubricated."

"I wish you would have told me what you were planning to make before you put these together," I exclaimed, shaking the chocolate-filled condoms in Lula's face. "Her mother's going to be here! I'm not sure she'd be up for eating candy out of a condom, although I'm certain that my grandmother Mazur wouldn't be opposed to the idea. And do you think Dayna's mother is going to want to guess what sexual position her little girl was in when Santos shot off and got her pregnant?"

Lula grimaced. "Yowza. When you put it that way...I guess you're right." Lula gathered up all of the condom favors and put them all back into the box. She turned to smile at me and had a mischevious glint in her eye. "I'm willing to bet she was flat on her back on the bed, and Sexy was standing -

"_Please_ do not finish that."

The intercom next to the front door crackled to life and Hal's voice patched through. "Bomber, I've got a Linda Marrero down here in the garage, asking to be let up to your apartment. Are you expecting her?"

Dayna's mom was here! "Thanks, Hal," I replied, entering the foyer. "That's Dayna's mother. Send her on up."

"Ten-four."

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang and since Ana happened to be closest to the foyer, she waddled over to answer it. She threw the door open and an older version of Dayna stepped through, wearing a snazzy jacket and a huge smile.

"Linda," I exclaimed happily, entering the foyer with Lula. "I'm so glad you could come! How was your flight? And the ride from the airport?"

"Just ducky," Linda replied. She set down her bags and folded me into a tight hug. "I sat next to some schmuck in First Class who kept asking if my wedding band was just a decoy." She released me and grinned wearily as she took off her jacket. "And I couldn't quite understand why the limousine driver who brought me here thought that my face was eight inches below where it actually is. Other than that, fine."

"Men are pigs," Lula remarked sympathetically, making her way to Linda for a quick hug. "Dayna still doesn't know you're here, right? It would totally ruin the surprise."

Linda lugged her bags into one of the guest rooms and emerged a few moments later. "I spoke to her late last night. I told her I'd be in meetings downtown at the courthouse all day today, to throw her off so she wouldn't call me. I'm hoping Lester managed to keep my visit a secret."

"He did," I replied. "She's got absolutely no clue you're in town. As a baby shower present, Les sent her to Koi Spa in Princeton for the morning to get pampered. You know, a pregnancy massage, a facial, manicure/pedicure, that type of stuff." I looked at my watch. "She shouldn't be here until about one-thirty."

"Good," Linda replied, rubbing her hands together briskly. "We've got time, then. What can I do to help you girls?" She picked up the box containing the answer sheets for Lula's ridiculous guessing game and the condom party favors. "What's in here?"

Lula and I quickly dashed to her and I gently pried the box from Linda's grip. "Lula'll take care of this, Linda," I said, giving Lula a scathing glare. "Why don't you help me in the kitchen?" I plopped the box into Lula's outstretched arms and guided Linda out of the dining room.

Linda grinned at Lula before we walked away. "Sure, Steph."

By one o'clock, most of the guests had already arrived, even though the party wasn't due to start for another thirty minutes. A gaggle of RNs from the St. Francis Emergency Department showed up with beautifully-wrapped gifts for their former co-worker and close friend. Some of Dayna's fellow Rutger's alumni came; my mother and Grandma Mazur, Lester's two sisters Damaris and Lisette, Cal's girlfriend Jessica, Erik's foreign exchange student girlfriend Aurora, and Hal's girlfriend Kassie all followed.

The main gift table was overflowing. It appeared that Lester and Dayna would have everything they needed for their new baby. And if they'd registered for something that wasn't on the table, the gift card that her mom and dad had given them would surely cover it and more, just short of a mansion in the Hamptons.

My apartment was stuffed to the max with shower-happy guests, feasting on finger sandwiches and yogurt-dipped strawberries. Someone had uncorked a few bottles of wine, and light-hearted laughter and chatter came from all areas of the living room and dining room.

At precisely one-thirty, the front door clicked open and I heard, "Steph?"

I motioned for Linda to skedaddle into my bedroom so she could make an appearance once Dayna was settled in. I made my way to the foyer and found Dayna peering in around the front door. "Everybody's here," I told her. "Come on in."

The door opened all the way and Dayna stepped inside, dressed in a comfy-looking black sundress with a little lavender long-sleeved wrap tied at her front. She looked relaxed and happy, albeit slightly flushed. She put her shoulder bag in the kitchen and entered the living room.

"Hi, everybody," she exclaimed, giving the guests a little wave and a big smile.

A bunch of exclamations immediately burst out as the guests crowded around Dayna to hug her and rub on her huge belly. Grandma Mazur teetered up to Dayna in four-inch orange stilettos and shook her glass of wine at her. "Way to go," she announced, patting Dayna's belly. "You and my granddaughter, making more beautiful children with those hot bounty hunters. It's a pip, I tell ya. If I was twenty years younger, I'd let one of them knock me up in a heart -

"Mother!" exclaimed my mother in a strangled voice, coming to Dayna's aid immediately and removing the stemware from Grandma's wobbly hand. She turned to Dayna. "I'm so sorry." My mom set the near-empty glass of White Zin on the dining room table. With alcohol and Grandma, out of sight out of mind is the best way to go.

Dayna simply smiled and put her hand protectively on her belly. "No harm done." She turned to Grandma. "And Edna, my husband's name is Lester."

"Lester. Right." Grandma allowed my mother to lead her back to the sofa by the elbow, effectively ending the melee.

I turned to Dayna. "Why don't you go and sit down in the rocker?" I suggested. "You look like you could use a comfy seat."

Dayna nodded. "I'm feeling a little strange," she admitted. "But I guess it's all the excitement." She threw an arm around my shoulders as we walked into the living room, where her special mommy-to-be rocking chair was set up. She sank down into the cushions and blew out a sigh. Her cheeks looked a little chubbier than usual, and she was flushed, but not sweaty.

"Want some water?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Thanks, Steph."

Lula and Ana were munching on finger sandwiches in the chairs next to Dayna. All of the guests were seated in the living room, eating and drinking and asking Dayna all sorts of questions. This was the perfect time to bring out Linda.

"A special guest is here," I told Dayna when I returned to the living room with a cold bottle of water.

Dayna twisted open the cap and replied, "Yeah?" She looked up at me with blue-green eyes filled with curiosity.

"Let me get her." I headed into the guest room and found Linda organizing some things in one of her suitcases. "She's settled. Come on out. I can't wait for her to see you!"

"My little girl, having a baby," Linda gushed as she refolded a blouse. "It seems like yesterday I brought her home from the hospital. I can't believe it's been twenty-six years."

I smiled sympathetically at Linda. "You ready to be a grandmother?"

Linda's smile faded and was replaced with a look of disbelief. "Grandmother," she repeated wearily. "God, I feel old. I guess it's time for another round of Restylane and a little more Botox."

Linda followed me out into the living room and stood behind me while I grabbed Dayna's attention from one of her nurse friends. Dayna looked up at me and Linda popped out into view.

Dayna's jaw dropped. "Mom!" she squealed, fighting with her huge belly to make a dignified launch out of the rocking chair and eventually succeeding. "What are you doing here? When did you get here? How long are you staying?"

Linda wrapped her arms tightly around her daughter and I saw that she was fighting back tears. "Oh, just a couple days. My flight got in before lunch, and I know I just saw you after Valentine's Day, but I can't believe how much you've grown!" Linda inspected Dayna's bulging belly and held it in her hands.

Dayna sniffled and pulled back to smile at her mom before squeezing her into a hug again. They embraced for several more moments while the guests looked on happily, and finally Linda let her daughter go before grabbing a chair and pulling it up directly next to Dayna's rocker. She helped Dayna back into the rocker and held onto her hand while they talked a mile a minute.

Lula sidled up to me in the dining room. "Is it present time yet?" she whispered. "Or cake time?"

"Chill," I hissed. "Let Dayna catch up with her mom. There are cupcakes in the fridge and cookies on the table if you want junk."

"Want to see what the guys are doing?" Lula pressed.

"Last I heard, Ranger, Tank, and Bobby were taking Les to Shorty's for pizza and a few games of pool. I told them not to come back before four, so they wouldn't crash the baby shower. Dayna wants to wait until she and Les are alone before she shows him all of the new baby stuff."

"Oh," Lula replied. "I hope they rest up when they get home, then. They're going after Beaver Gafferty tonight."

My stomach dropped. "What?"

"Batman didn't tell you? Ol' Simon Diggery's crypt-robbin' cousin skipped court on a hundred-thousand-dollar bond yesterday. They're supposed to be staking out the Riverview Cemetery mausoleums after dark tonight. I'm not sure it's Riverview, though. Could be St. Michael's Churchyard."

"Ranger didn't mention this to me," I replied. "Do Dayna and Ana know?"

Lula shook her head. "I only know because I overheard Tank talkin' about it to Cal over the phone this morning. I don't think I'm supposed to know, though. Maybe it isn't for sure."

"I'm calling Ranger." I ducked into the kitchen and whipped out my cell before hitting speed dial #1.

"Yo," he announced, when the connection was made. "Everything okay, babe?"

"Everything's fine," I replied. "But what's this about you guys going on a Diggery hunt tonight?"

"Control had gotten word that Beaver Gafferty and two of his lunatic Diggery relatives are supposed to be at one of the local cemeteries tonight, digging around in mausoleums. I'd like to get him before time runs out."

"Oh," I replied. "Is he dangerous?"

Ranger chuckled a little. "He carries a shovel, babe. Only way he'd get us down is if he pounds us into the ground with his shovel-wielding arms."

Funny. "Cemeteries are scary," I whispered.

"I think my core team and I have a better chance of getting beat on by Gafferty than getting haunted by some ghost. I don't believe in that stuff."

I shivered, because I definitely did. "Just be careful," I warned. "Are you coming home for dinner first?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, babe."

I felt myself smiling. "Have a good time today," I told him. "Tell Lester that Dayna's extremely excited about her mom being here and that she can't wait for him to see all the baby stuff."

"I'll tell him," Ranger agreed. "I've still got his nuts in that jar on my office shelf, anyway. Love you, babe."

"Love you, too," I replied, still grinning. I disconnected and headed back out into the living room, deciding to wait until the shower was over before I told Dayna and Ana that their guys were plotting to go cemetery-hopping that evening and possibly might end up getting whacked with a shovel, or worse, haunted by some very scary ghosts.

First things first. I put on a smiley face and said brightly, "Who's up for presents?"

* * *

Linda blew out the last Yankee Candle and flopped down onto the sofa. "I'm totally beat."

"Me, too." I plopped into the recliner and yanked the handle to put my feet up. "Baby showers are exhausting."

Dayna was gently rocking back and forth in her rocker, her head leaned back on the chair. She looked awful. Her face was still flushed and she was still puffy-cheeked. Her eyes were drooping and she was squinting to look everywhere. "I think I'll need to lie down soon," she said quietly.

I was immediately on my feet and at her side in an instant. "What's the matter?" I asked her.

"Oh, I've got a headache, that's all," she replied. "I'm fine, Steph. Really." She quickly changed the subject. "So Lester's going after Beaver Gafferty tonight with the guys?"

"I'm sure he'd stay home if he knew you weren't feeling well," I said. "They should be here any minute."

As soon as the words left my mouth, the front door clicked open and the four guys trooped through, laughing and joking about God-knows-what. Guy stuff, probably. Bobby and Tank made their rounds, kissing and hugging us girls, and flopped down onto one of the living room couches. Lester made a beeline for Linda.

"There he is," she announced, smiling and getting up from her seat on the sofa. She allowed Les to pull her into a giant bear-hug before she pulled back and kissed his cheek. "You get more and more handsome each time I see you."

Les smiled his knee-melting lopsided grin at her and blushed. "I'm like a good wine," he began, "because I seem to be getting cuter with age." He leaned down to gently kiss his wife before sitting down in the chair next to her rocker and grabbing her hand.

"I think it's 'get _better_ with age', man," Bobby announced from his seat on the sofa.

Ranger came up behind me and kissed me just below my ear. "How was the shower?"

"So great," I gushed. "Lots of people came. We ate, we talked, we opened presents." I motioned to the dining room, where we'd stacked the hundreds of baby items that Dayna had gotten. "_Lots_ of presents."

Ranger's eyes widened. "Wow," he remarked. "How are we going to get this all down to four?"

I smiled hopefully at him. "Maybe you and the guys could take it all."

There were boxes upon boxes of things, like clothes, necessities, breastfeeding supplies, blankets, towels, a bassinet, a baby bath, a travel-system and carseat, toys, diapers, wipes, and tons of other various handy baby gear. I wasn't sure, but I was guessing that between the four of them and Linda, they could get everything down to Dayna and Lester's apartment in twenty trips or less.

"Come on, gentlemen," announced Ranger. "Let's clear out this baby gear. Down to four."

Lester got up to help, but stopped when he looked closer at Dayna's face. "Baby, your face is swollen," he said to her.

"How swollen?" she replied warily.

"Like the time you went to the dentist and had all your wisdom teeth pulled."

Dayna shook her head listlessly, dismissing the notion. "I'm fine, Lester. It's just the excitement of the day, that's all."

Lester wasn't convinced. "I can stay home tonight," he informed her. "Maybe Cal or Junior will go with the guys to get Gafferty."

"No, no," Dayna insisted. "I'll be okay. I've got my mom here, and Steph and Lula and Ana. Go with Bobby and Tank and Ranger, they need you."

"You sure?"

"I'm positive." Dayna mustered up a small grin and held her hand out for Lester to help her out of the rocker. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead.

"The guys and I are gonna bring everything downstairs," he said to her. "Why don't you go ahead down so you can tell us where to put everything?" Lester headed into the guest room to retrieve Linda's bags and followed Bobby out the front door. Ranger, Tank, and Linda each grabbed some baby gear and headed out of the apartment, leaving Dayna, Ana, Lula, and I by ourselves.

"I'll be right down," Dayna called out the front door. She turned to Lula, Ana, and I and smiled. "Thank you so much for everything, you guys. It was a beautiful shower." She pulled us into a four-way hug.

"Our pleasure, Lady Santos," Lula replied. "We had a blast."

"Just wait until next week," Dayna warned me. "You're next. And when _I _throw a baby shower, it's a hell of a party."

I grinned. "I can't wait," I told her. "I'll bring the O'Doul's and the sparkling grape juice."

"And I'll bring Pin the Pants on Batman," added Lula, much to my horror.

"Sounds like a plan." Dayna hugged me one last time and grabbed her shoulder bag before we all walked her into the elevator.

When she was on her way back down to four, Lula turned to me. "Ana and I are going to see a movie tonight, after the boys leave," she said. "Want to come? Dayna'll be busy with her mom, but we thought you might like to go."

Hmmm. Let's see. Did I want to go see a movie? I was exhausted, my feet were killing me, my apartment was a mess, and Ella had watched my daughter for a large portion of the day. "I'm a little worn," I admitted. "I think I might sit this one out."

Ana and Lula nodded. "We understand, white girl," Lula said to me. "Want us to do anything before we go?"

I smiled. "Nope. You've already done enough. Thank you both."

Lula and Ana grabbed their purses and headed out the front door.

I stopped Lula just before she got into the elevator and asked her quietly, "You really don't have a game called Pin the Pants on my husband, do you? Because that's what you wanted to play at the baby shower I had for Samantha."

Lula blinked. "Who, me?"

* * *

Ranger forked the last bit of his broccoli into his mouth and wiped his face with his napkin. "So Ella watched Samantha all day, _plus_ made this dinner? Man, she really is great."

I nodded in agreement, my mouth stuffed with the creamiest mashed potatoes I'd ever tasted. "She is so talented. And Sam loves her."

"Hey. Is Dayna doing okay?" Ranger asked me.

"I'm not sure," I replied. "She's not having actual contractions, which is a good thing, because her due date is still five weeks away. But she doesn't look so good. Maybe it's just from the excitement of the shower and seeing her mom."

"Maybe," agreed Ranger. "I can send Junior instead of Santos tonight."

I shrugged. "She insists she's okay and that she wants him to go with you and Tank and Bobby," I told Ranger. "I'll probably go down later and see how she's holding up."

When the dinner dishes had been cleared away and Samantha's bath was complete, Ranger and I carried our little girl into her bedroom and set her down into her crib in her fuzzy flannel pajamas. "Daddy's got to go get bad guys tonight," I said to her. "Give him a kiss before he leaves."

Ranger leaned down into the crib and Sam placed a smacking kiss onto his cheek, causing us both to laugh. She plopped down onto her bottom and leaned back, waiting to be covered with her blanket. I pulled her little pink bubby up to her belly and kissed her nose before sliding up the crib's side rail. Ranger flicked off the light and we both whispered good-night to Sam before tiptoeing out of her room.

As soon as her door was shut and the baby monitor was on, Ranger pulled me into the master bedroom and kissed me gently. "I hate leaving you like this," he admitted quietly.

"Me, too," I whispered. "I'm scared for you, traipsing around in that graveyard with a nutcase and a bunch of demons. Your strength must come from somewhere holy."

"It comes from you, babe," Ranger said. He pulled me to him and rested his chin on the top of my head. "Your love keeps me coming home to you and Samantha."

Well, that choked me right up. "You'd better catch that asshole," I said angrily through my tears. "I want that nutsy-cuckoo Beaver Gafferty behind bars before you even_ think_ about coming home tonight."

"He will be," Ranger assured me, pulling away and heading over to his bureau. He opened a drawer and located a black tank top, a black tee shirt, and a pair of black socks before tossing everything onto the bed and striding across the room to the closet. He disappeared inside and emerged a few seconds later with black cargo pants and black combat boots. I watched as he got dressed, saving room for his takedown gear that was stored in the second-floor Comm room downstairs.

"Call if you can," I reminded him as he gathered up his wallet and cell.

"I will, babe. Love you."

And he was gone.

* * *

A piece of leftover baby shower cake was on a plate resting on the swell of my belly, and I was seated on the couch with a fork, devouring it. The latest episode of _American Pickers _was playing on the plasma, but I was paying more attention to the frosting-covered delight in front of me. It had been a long day. I knew I had to call Dayna sometime that evening to check on her, but I didn't want to interrupt her time with her mother in case they were out or spending time talking and catching up.

When Ranger and the guys leave for their madman takedowns and whirlwind stakeouts, us four girls usually get together as a group and do something fun, to keep our minds off of our husbands and their safety. But when I'm alone, and Ranger's gone, this empty, hollow feeling fills my body and sort of takes over. Although I _could_ have gone to the movies with Lula and Ana, I didn't want to leave my daughter any longer than I already did, and figured I'd be okay since Dayna was just a few floors below me.

I licked the last bit of frosting off of my fork just as the doorbell rang. Who the hell? I managed to get off of the couch and made my way over to the door, checking the peephole before unlocking the latches. It was Linda.

"Hey, Linda," I exclaimed after opening the door. I noticed her face, and her serious expression caused my stomach to drop. "Everything okay?"

"I think something's wrong with my daughter."

* * *

"Did you get Dr. Saunders on the phone?" I asked Linda as soon as we got back down to Lester and Dayna's apartment.

Linda shook her head. "No. I haven't gotten that far yet."

"Where is she?" I asked, frantically searching the living room and not finding Dayna.

"In bed."

I took off down the hall and found Dayna, lying on her king-sized bed in black yoga pants with one of Lester's old Army PT shirts stretched over her belly. Her feet were swollen, her face was far worse than I'd seen it earlier, and her skin was bright red and flushed.

"Oh, my God," I exclaimed, panicked, coming to stand beside the bed and doing my best to kneel down to Dayna's level. "What the hell's happening to you?" I was absolutely terrified, and I couldn't remember a time that I'd ever been so scared.

"Steph," Dayna croaked weakly. "I need you to get my keys from the kitchen and go up to the clinic on six. Bring the Dynamap down. I need you to go now."

I got to my feet and paused. "The _what?"_

"The blood pressure machine."

Oh. Right. "Got it." I hurried into the kitchen and found the keys sitting next to Dayna's purse. "Which one is it?" I asked, running the keys back into her bedroom.

"The one with the yellow band around it."

I was out the door and on the elevator in an instant. I got off on six and unlocked the door to the clinic, went inside, and began searching for something that resembled a blood pressure taker. Near the triage area, a small rolling stand with wires coming out of it caught my eye. A cuff was attached to the machine, and it looked definitely like the one that my OB used to take my vital signs with each visit. Perfect.

The cart wheeled, so I wasted no time racing it down the hall to the elevator and riding back down to four with it. I pushed it into Dayna's apartment and rolled it right into her bedroom.

"Plug it into the wall," Dayna instructed weakly. "And hand me the cuff."

I waited while she Velcroed the cuff to her arm and when she instructed me to hit a certain button on the machine, I pounded it once and listened while the cuff inflated.

After what seemed like hours, the reading finally came through. Dayna's blood pressure was 162/110.

"That's bad, right?" I asked her.

She nodded and grimaced. "Really bad." Dayna unstrapped the cuff from her arm and tossed it onto the floor before attempting to get up. She got to her feet and headed towards the door of the bedroom while Linda looked on, terrified.

"Wait! Where are you going? You should get back in bed, Dayna," I insisted, not knowing what the hell she was doing. I grabbed her hand and tried to lead her back into her bedroom, but she held firm.

"I need to get to the hospital, Stephanie," she exclaimed.

"But you're not in labor," I cried, not understanding.

"I've got preeclampsia!" Dayna immediately located an overnight bag and began tossing things into it. "The only cure is delivery, Stephanie. I'm having this baby tonight, whether I want to or not!"

Linda snapped out of it and picked up Dayna's cell. "I'm calling Dr. Saunders," she insisted. She scrolled through the phone until she located the number and finally dialed. She went into the other room, leaving me to deal with Dayna.

"I have to get Ella to come watch Samantha," I said. "I've got my purse and keys with me. Sam's asleep and locked in the apartment, but Ella has her keyfob." I quickly called Ella and she immediately went to the penthouse and let herself in while I stayed on four with Dayna.

Linda came rushing back into Dayna's bedroom. "Dr. Saunders said to get to Helene Fuld right away," she reported. "She'll meet us there."

The Mercedes SUV was gassed up and ready to go. Linda and I had Ram help us downstairs and we waited while he buckled Dayna into the backseat. Linda got in next to her and I got behind the wheel. "We'll be there in ten," I announced to them. "Hold on."

We arrived at the hospital in record time. "Don't call Lester yet," Dayna breathed as I pulled up to the Emergency Department. "I don't want him to worry."

"Relax, sweetie," Linda said, brushing Dayna's hair out of her eyes. "Everything will be fine."

"I'm not even ready," Dayna said, beginning to cry. "We haven't even picked out a name for her yet. The nursery's not all set up. And I haven't had a chance to go to one of those breastfeeding classes!" The tears fell faster as we got her out of the SUV and into a wheelchair that a tech had wheeled over once he saw us get out of the car from inside the ED.

"What's the problem here?" he asked Dayna, wheeling her briskly into the ED through the automatic doors as Linda and I followed.

"I've got a BP of 162/110. My due date is five weeks away."

"Right-o." The tech pushed Dayna straight into triage and motioned for Linda and I to join them.

"I've got to go move the SUV or I'll get towed," I told Linda. "I'll be right back.

When I got back into the triage area after parking the SUV in a nearby lot, a nurse was retaking Dayna's blood pressure while she lay on a stretcher. "168/112," the nurse reported. "It's gone up since you last took it at home. I need a urine sample from you, Dayna, and I need it now. Do you think you can go?"

"I haven't really had to go all day," Dayna admitted. "I hope I can muster up something for you." Dayna got up from the stretcher and carried the specimen cup into the bathroom across the hall. A few minutes later, she returned with a small amount of urine for the nurse.

"Thank you," said the nurse, taking the cup. "Marie will be down in a few to take you up to L&D, okay?"

Dayna nodded and looked up at her mom as she lay back down on the stretcher. "Maybe I should call Lester now."

Linda handed Dayna her phone and Dayna hit speed dial #1. "Hey, baby," she said when the speakerphone connection was made. "Where are you?" Background noise blasted out of Dayna's phone speaker, and finally Lester came on.

"I'm at the TPD station downtown," Lester hollered back. "Things got a little out of hand when we captured Gafferty. I'll be headed home in a few."

"Um, I think we're having a baby tonight."

Silence. Then, _"WHAT?"_

"My blood pressure went sky-high, and the only way for it to come back down is for me to deliver the baby. That's what's been wrong with me all afternoon."

"Holy shit," Lester exclaimed, causing everyone listening to their conversation to chuckle. "Tonight? But it's too early. What if there's a problem?"

"That's why I'm at the hospital," she replied. "Dr. Saunders is on her way. We're at Helene Fuld, and Steph's going to wait for you in the ED lobby."

"Don't do a thing until I get there. I'm five minutes out." The line went dead.

"I couldn't do a thing even if I wanted to," Dayna said wryly from her little bed as she handed Linda back her phone.

An RN in blue L&D scrubs walked up to us and smiled at Dayna before shaking her hand. "Dayna? Hi, I'm Marie. Let's go have a baby."

* * *

I paced the lobby of the Emergency Department frantically, worried sick about my friend upstairs. Since Dayna had told Lester that I'd wait for him in the ED lobby, I wasn't able to accompany Linda and Dayna and Marie upstairs to the unit. Five minutes had passed, then ten, then fifteen.

Finally, nearly thirty minutes after Dayna had hung up with him, Lester Santos came barreling into the lobby, dressed in his takedown clothes and covered with cemetery dirt.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed. "You're a wreck!"

He looked down at his dirty clothes. "Had to pull fucking Gafferty out of a six-foot-deep grave," he said angrily.

We barged over to the security desk. "We need to get upstairs to Labor and Delivery," I informed the guard. I threw a thumb in Les's direction. "His wife was just brought in through triage, and it's an emergency."

"I can't let you through with those guns and two-way radio, young man," the guard said. "You'll either have to leave them with me, or else lock them in your vehicle."

"Hell will freeze over before I leave you with a firearm," Lester spat to the rent-a-cop. He turned to me and began unstrapping his various weapons before piling them up in my arms. He took out his two-way receiver and untwisted the wire from the back of his tee shirt before handing me the radio. I was now loaded down with about three guns, a Taser, a butterfly knife, two pairs of cuffs, a badge, and a two-way radio with a bunch of wiring.

"What should I do with all this?" I asked Lester.

He handed me the keys to his Escalade. "Lock box under the backseat," he whispered in my ear. "The smallest key on the ring is the one."

"What if I get caught? How far away is your truck?"

"It's right outside the door, Steph. In the first slot in the Blue Lot."

I hightailed it out to the Escalade and managed to lock all of Lester's goodies in the lock box under the backseat without getting arrested for carrying a not-so-concealed arsenal of guns that weren't registered to me. I locked the truck and started to trudge back into the hospital, but was stopped by a voice calling my name as I crossed the parking lot. It was Lula, and she had Ana, Tank, and Bobby with her.

"Where's Ranger?" I asked her when they'd caught up with me.

"On his way," Tank spoke up. "He's finalizing the paperwork at TPD for Gafferty." I noticed that Tank and Bobby were also filthy, no doubt from having chased Gafferty through the rows of graves with Les.

"Lester just went upstairs," I said. "Let's all get passes."

Tank and Bobby had already removed their weapons and radios before exiting their vehicles. My guess was that Santos was in such a frantic frenzy to get to his wife that he'd forgotten all about his hardware and small personal armory. The five of us got visitor's passes and we rode the elevator to the fourth floor, talking a mile a minute and with me doing my best to explain preeclampsia to two former soldiers and an ex-hooker.

Lula asked, "So what really could happen if the baby's five weeks early?"

I hung my head, terrified of that answer myself. "I really don't know, Lu. I just hope they're both okay."

We got off on the fourth floor and were directed into a small waiting room by the unit coordinator at the nurses' station. We all took seats and a few minutes later, Lester joined us.

"Dr. Saunders is examining her right now," he said. "They've got her hooked up to all these monitors and shit. They're giving her some medicine in an IV drip line. Magnesium something. And drugs to control her blood pressure." Lester plopped onto the little sofa next to me and buried his face in the crook of my arm. He reeked of cemetery dirt, musty mausoleum dust, sweat, and faintly of cologne, but I ignored it and put my arms around him just as Tank reached over and slapped him on the back.

"She'll be okay," I assured Lester. "But guess what? You're going to be a daddy tonight." I smiled.

Weak moaning was heard, muffled in my tee shirt. "I'm not ready," Lester groaned. "I thought I still had five more weeks to get there."

"You are. You can do this, I know you can." I rubbed his shoulder and continued to let him whine into my tee shirt.

"I'd better get back in there," Les said, suddenly jumping up. "I don't want to miss anything." He dashed off down the hall and disappeared into Dayna's room.

Ten minutes later, Lester came back into the waiting room. He was pale and his hands were shaking. "The baby's breech," he whispered.

"What does that mean?" Tank asked him.

"She has to come out through a C-section."

Shit. This wasn't an option in Dayna's birth plan. I knew she wanted to deliver the baby normally, because an operative delivery poses much higher risks to mom and baby than a traditional vaginal birth.

"Dr. Saunders said she _might_ be able to turn the baby with her hands, but Dayna doesn't want to try that because she says it'll hurt like hell." Lester ran his hands through his thick, toussled spikes. "Shit, I've never been so sick to my stomach in my fucking life."

"Relax," Ana said to him, reaching out to pat his hand. "Stay calm for Dayna."

"I'm trying," Lester replied. "Things were a little better before I found out my wife has to have surgery."

Dayna's nurse stepped into the lounge and smiled at Lester. "We're waiting on the anesthesiologist to start the epidural, Lester," she explained to him. "It shouldn't be much longer." He nodded and blew out a frustrated sigh.

My ankles were swollen and my lower back was aching from walking back and forth from the parking lot to the hospital.

"While you're giving out epidurals, how about sticking one in me?"

Dayna's nurse laughed and pointed to my belly. "From the looks of it, you really might be next."

* * *

Ranger showed up on the unit just as the anesthesiologist was leaving Dayna's room.

"This is certainly a surprise," he said to Dayna, bending down to kiss her cheek. He hugged Lester and clapped him on the back. "I thought we were still about a month out."

"Mother nature decided to make things a little harder on me," Dayna said from her bed. "We have no idea what to name her."

"Well, what names did you have in mind?" I asked her.

Dayna sighed and rubbed the spot on her belly that wasn't covered with some type of monitor. "I like Layla, Faith, and Tara," she replied. "Lester, for some reason, likes Mercedes."

I looked at Lester in horror and he shrugged. "It was my grandmother's name."

Ranger raised an eyebrow and turned to me. "Should we have named Samantha Edna instead?"

"No," exclaimed Dayna, Linda, and I in unison.

A nurse carrying a set of blue scrubs similar to her own walked into Dayna's room and smiled. "These are for you," she said to Lester, handing him the scrubs. "We're almost ready to get started. Why don't you go ahead and clean up a little?"

"I'm thinking you should take that as a hint and clean all that cemetery dirt off of yourself, Santos," Ranger said, smirking.

"I think I will." Lester ducked into the bathroom in Dayna's suite and locked himself inside.

The nurse went over to Dayna to check her monitor readouts and grinned. "The baby's tolerating the drugs well for right now," she informed her. "But the sooner we get her out, the better."

"What happened to my daughter's nurse?" Linda wanted to know. "She was with us from the time we came in until now."

"Change of shift," the nurse explained. "I'm on the eleven to eleven shift. I'll be taking over your care." She squeezed Dayna's taped-up hand and smiled down at her.

"What's your name?" Dayna asked her just before she walked out of the room.

"I'm Meredith."

* * *

When they came from the OR to retrieve Dayna, it was a little before midnight. Lester was dressed in his blue L&D scrubs, and Meredith had done a pretty good job at judging his clothing size. He'd put disposable booties over his combat boots and the mask he'd tied onto his face wasn't big enough to hide the fact that his smile was a mile wide.

"This is it," he said nervously to Ranger out in the waiting room. "It's really happening."

"I know how you're feeling right now, Santos. I've been there. Hang tight, and be there for your wife." Ranger hugged Lester tightly and did the guy handshake with him once he'd released him. Tank and Bobby both did the same. Linda hugged him last and I saw that she was fighting back tears.

"We're ready for you, Lester," Meredith called from a doorway.

Lester gave one last light punch to Ranger's arm and turned on his boot heel before jogging over to where Meredith was waiting. When he'd disappeared inside, my stomach flip-flopped.

Ranger sensed my apprehension and folded me into his arms. "They'll both be okay, babe," he said softly before kissing me just below my ear. "Dayna's in good hands."

Lula and Ana returned from the cafeteria with a few cartons of food. "Thank the Lord that place is open twenty-four-seven," Lula breathed. "It's almost time for my midnight snack." She opened one of the cartons and removed a dried-out hamburger. "Come to mama, sweetheart."

"Did they take her yet?" Ana wanted to know, opening up a bag of cashews and offering some to Linda.

I nodded. "Les just went inside."

"Damn," Tank spoke up. "When Santos comes out of that room, he'll be a father."

Damn was right.

The minutes crept by. Tank, Bobby, and Ranger became engrossed in a police-chase movie that was playing on the TV in the corner. Linda and Ana had made makeshift Tic Tac Toe boards out of some computer paper that the unit secretary had given them and were beginning what had to be their fiftieth game. Lula was watching YouTube on her iPhone.

I, for some reason, was unsettled.

I watched people come and go, sipping their burnt hospital coffee and wandering by with pink and blue balloons and beautiful floral arrangements. Babies screamed from rooms down the hall, alerting the world that they were able to effectively use their lungs. Laboring mothers yelled in agony, new fathers whooped and hollered with joy, and proud grandparents snapped picture after picture of their new additions being wheeled down the hall.

My stomach felt queasy and I didn't know why. All the excitement, I guessed. I was glad I'd vetoed the hospital cafeteria idea, because Lula's hamburger had looked like the bottom of Ranger's combat boots.

But I still couldn't shake that weird feeling of doom.

At a quarter to one in the morning, a commotion rang out from down the hall, in the direction of the OR they'd taken Lester into. The sound of a door crashing open filtered into the waiting room and the seven of us were immediately on our feet. I felt my stomach immediately drop into a free fall and, my knees weakened, I grabbed for Ranger.

"Lester," an OR nurse was shouting. Santos's bootsteps thudded down the corridor and I watched him come into view, his head down and his hands over his face.

When he lifted up his head, tears were running down his cheeks and his facial expression was stricken.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm not an OB nurse, so any medical mistakes made in this chapter are completely my own fault. I had to dig out the ol' 8-pound Maternal Newborn Nursing textbook to do a little research, so I apologize if some things regarding treatment for preeclampsia don't add up. I tried, though! Lol. Sorry for the angsty ending of this chapter, but in the unpredictable world of medicine, things are bound to go wrong even though we pray that everything will turn out fine.


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry for the delay in this, everybody. I know you're all just dying to know what's happened to Dayna, and I've finally finished this chapter. It took awhile because of all the RL stuff I've had to do lately, but it's finally been cranked out! Hope you all enjoy! Your PMs and reviews have all been great. Keep 'em coming!**

* * *

_At a quarter to one in the morning, a commotion rang out from down the hall, in the direction of the OR they'd taken Lester into. The sound of a door crashing open filtered into the waiting room and the seven of us were immediately on our feet. I felt my stomach immediately drop into a free fall and, my knees weakened, I grabbed for Ranger._

_"Lester," an OR nurse was shouting. Santos's bootsteps thudded down the corridor and I watched him come into view, his head down and his hands over his face._

_When he lifted up his head, tears were running down his cheeks and his facial expression was stricken._

* * *

"Dayna's bleeding," Lester managed to choke out, his voice thick with tears. "A lot."

My heart stopped and I couldn't seem to let out the air I'd sucked into my lungs. I heard Linda let out a sob.

"What about the baby?" demanded Lula from behind me. "Is the baby okay?"

Lester gulped back a sob as Bobby quickly strode over to him and threw his arms around Les's shoulders. "The baby's okay," Lester replied, leaning on Bobby. "She's five and a half pounds. She's breathing good, but she's not out of the woods yet." He wiped at his eyes and blew out a frustrated breath. "They kicked me out of the fucking OR because Dr. Saunders had to put Dayna completely out to do emergency surgery to stop the bleeding. Something about her placenta...I don't fucking know. Shit, I can't _deal _with this. What the _fuck_ would I do without my _wife_?" Lester sank onto the nearest vinyl sofa and covered his face with his hands, breathing heavily through his tears, while Bobby and Ana knelt down and did their best to provide reassuring comfort.

I finally let out the breath I'd been holding and immediately burst into tears. Ranger held me close while I sobbed and stroked my hair. I was overcome with several different emotions at that moment. Relief that Les and Dayna's daughter was, for the most part, fine. Horror that something awful might happen and Dr. Saunders wouldn't be able to fix Dayna. Sorrow for Lester, because the two most important people in his life were fighting for theirs. It was all too much, and I sank against Ranger and cried wholeheartedly.

A few minutes later, "Lester," Meredith called out breathlessly, jogging over to where we were congregated in the waiting room. "I'm very sorry that we asked you to leave, but surely you could understand the importance of -

Lester's head flew up out of his hands and he leapt off of the couch before interrupting Meredith. "Meredith," he exclaimed. "Is my wife okay? Is my daughter okay? Why hasn't anyone let me hold her?"

Meredith smiled. "We're stabilizing the baby in the NICU," she said softly. "The pediatricians are with her right now. As soon as they've done their assessments, I'll bring you in there myself." Meredith reached up and squeezed Lester's shoulder. "And Dr. Saunders is working on stopping the bleeding coming from Dayna's placental attachment site, and although I wish I had a more definite prognosis for you, this kind of thing isn't all that uncommon. She's in good hands. When things are wrapped up in the OR, Dr. Saunders will come out and speak with you personally."

Orgasmic relief flowed through every one of my veins as I let out a sob of happiness. Ranger hugged me tightly and kissed my tear-streaked cheek. Tank and Bobby both attacked Lester with hugs and shouts of joy. Linda and Lula were embracing and crying happy tears. Dayna was going to be okay. I just knew it. She had so much to live for. A loving husband who'd walk to the ends of the earth for her and a brand-new little baby daughter who needed her more than anything. And while it's natural for the human race to think the worst when problems arise, we just have to put our faith in the doctors and nurses caring for our loved ones to work their medical miracles and save the people who are important to us.

After Meredith retreated down the hall and back into Dayna's operating suite, Lester dried his tears and was looking exhausted but happy and relieved. Tank and Ranger sat down on either side of him on the sofa, all three guys resting their elbows on their knees and clasping their hands together. "You're gonna hold your baby girl in a little while, man," Tank said quietly to Lester, awe in his voice. He clapped Les on the back. "You excited?"

Lester nodded. "Yeah, man. I'm excited. But I'm worried about my wife. I don't think I'll be able to enjoy seeing my daughter if I don't know how Dayna's pulling through."

"I hear you," Ranger agreed. "When do you think we'll know something about Dayna?"

Lester shrugged. "I'm not sure how long that type of surgery takes. But I'm counting on Dr. Saunders to come out and tell me what's up as soon as it's over."

We settled in for the long haul. Linda and I walked down to the cafeteria and got Lester something to put into his stomach, and although he claimed that he was afraid to eat anything because he didn't want it to reappear in the waiting room trashcan, we knew he needed to at least try to keep something down. Linda and I headed back into the waiting room armed with hot tea, toast with grape jelly, and a chocolate frosted donut. The donut was a last-ditch effort of Linda's to try and bring her son-in-law some happy, and it worked. He choked down the toast and sipped at the tea, but the donut was truly a hit.

"You should have sent Linda down to the cafeteria by herself," Lester remarked from his seat on the sofa, wiping the last of the chocolate off of his mouth with the back of his hand. "I might have gotten more than one donut and no dry toast." He looked up at me and grinned. "I'm surprised at you, beautiful. You're usually the one who forces goodies from Tasty Pastry down everybody's throats."

I threw my hands up in defeat. "The one time I try and get people to eat healthy, and it backfires." I raised an eyebrow and grinned. "You know what? I actually hope you throw that up."

Les put his arms up around my huge middle and hugged me. "I appreciate the gesture. Really, I do."

I hugged him back. "Just trying to help."

Lester quickly sobered and buried his face in my belly, sighing. "I just feel like at any second someone could walk in here and tell me something else is wrong," he mumbled. "I really can't take much more."

"I know," I replied softly, stroking my hand through his thick spikes. "Believe me, I know."

What seemed like forever passed before the OR door opened down the hall and Dr. Saunders exited, in green surgical scrubs, a surgical hat, and booties. She approached us, untying her mask as she walked, and finally entered the waiting room. A huge smile spread across her face and reached her eyes. Les jumped up off of the couch and moved to stand next to her.

"I've managed to stop the bleeding," she announced to Lester. "She needed a transfusion in the OR, and will need plenty of time to recuperate, but I'm confident that there will be no long-term complications that stem from this."

"Oh, God," Lester choked out, running his hands through his hair. He began to tear up again, but I knew that this time, his tears were from relief. "She's okay." Les turned to look at Tank and Ranger and I as Linda pulled him into her arms for a hug. "Shit, I've never been so scared in my entire life."

Dr. Saunders and the rest of us chuckled. "You can relax now, Lester. The uncertainty, for the most part, is gone. She'll need close monitoring for several days. I'd like to keep her here until I'm sure that she's out of the woods. Now, your daughter may go home before your wife does, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Les drew in a nervous deep breath and let it out slowly. "What does this mean as far as us maybe having another baby someday?"

Dr. Saunders smiled. "Although nothing is for certain, I don't really see any reason why Dayna wouldn't be able to carry another child. She'll have to have another Cesarean delivery, but if she's willing to do this again, I'd certainly be glad to see her through it."

Lester sighed with relief and grinned at the rest of us. "I know it's a little soon to be wanting another baby, but whatever," he said.

"See how you guys like this one first," joked Tank.

Ranger spoke up, "If she turns out to be anything like you, Santos, one will be enough."

Linda laughed and then grew serious. "When can I see my daughter?" she asked Dr. Saunders.

"They've taken her into recovery," Dr. Saunders replied. "It may be a little while before she's awake enough to actually know you're there. She'll most likely be hoarse when she wakes up, because of the breathing tube we had to put down for the surgery, and she'll be in some degree of pain. We've medicated her well for now, but when she gets up to the postpartum care unit, she'll have a special pump that will deliver pain meds into her IV each time she presses a button."

"Those are great," Ranger spoke up, making us all laugh. He'd needed one after surgery last year, when Scrog shot him. "Really a neat invention."

Dr. Saunders chuckled again. "Yeah. We get that a lot."

The waiting room door clicked open and Meredith poked her head through, smiling. "Hey, Dr. Saunders. Sorry to interrupt, but Lester, your daughter's doctors are finished with her. Would you like to see her?"

Did a bear shit in the woods? "Of course," Lester exclaimed. He turned to the rest of us. "You guys coming?"

"Can we?" I asked Meredith hopefully. Lula was next to me, making pleading puppy-dog faces.

Meredith nodded. "You'll all have to watch from outside the NICU window, but when Dayna is moved to postpartum a little later, the baby will go along with her and you can visit with them both at that time."

* * *

We watched through a small window as Lester followed Meredith over to a corner of the NICU that didn't have hoardes of intimidating-looking equipment lying around. The lights in the unit were off, to minimize environmental stimuli for the sick babies that were in there, and several nurses in pink and blue patterned uniforms were working around inside, amongst the incubators and rolling baby carts. Meredith and Lester stepped up to a cradle that had a special warming lamp hovering over it and Meredith had Lester put a yellow gown over his clothes. Meredith picked up a teeny bundle of blankets, swept a few of the blanket's corners back, and placed the bundle into Lester's huge arms.

"My granddaughter," whispered Linda tearfully from beside me. "She's beautiful. And I don't even have my glasses on yet."

Lester held his daughter close and nuzzled her tiny cheek. He looked over at us through the window and began slowly walking towards us, presumably talking to the baby because his lips were next to her ear and were moving. He stopped in front of the window and waited while we all leaned in to get the best view. He held the baby up and we finally got our first good look at her when Les removed her pink cap.

I burst into tears immediately. She had loads of wispy black hair, Lester's perfect nose, and Dayna's full dark-pink lips.

"She's gorgeous," Linda breathed through tears of her own, fumbling to put on her glasses. "I can't wait to hold her."

"Me, too," I blubbered. I bopped Ranger happily on the arm.

Les gently took one of the baby's tiny arms out of the blanket and made her wave at us. "Bye, everybody," he mouthed as he stepped away from the window, making Lula, Ana, Linda, and I all squeal with barely-controlled glee. Meredith took the baby from Lester and placed her back under the heated bassinet. Les removed his yellow robe and met up with all of us in the hall outside of the NICU. I could tell he'd been crying just now, and he wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand.

"She's having a little trouble getting warmed up," he told us. "Meredith said that when her temperature starts to stay within a normal range, she'll be able to come with us to the postpartum unit in a couple of hours."

"That's good," Lula said, putting her arm up around Les's shoulders. "They're keepin' her warm in there. Babies always need a little extra heat."

A nurse came up to us in the hallway and approached Lester. "I'm Sue," she announced to Lester. "I'll be taking you to recovery to visit with your wife."

Lester breathed in a shaky breath. "She's okay?"

Sue smiled and nodded. "She's awake and asking for you."

"Either she's asking for me because she misses me, or she's asking for me because she wants to rip off my you-know-what for getting her into this whole birthing situation," Lester replied with a wry grin.

Laughing, Sue replied, "It could be a little of both."

* * *

The seven of us were lounging around in yet another waiting room on the sixth-floor postpartum unit. Lester was still down in the PACU with Dayna, and the baby was still down in the NICU with the nurses.

"What do you think they'll name the baby?" Lula asked to whoever would listen.

Linda, Lula, and I were the only ones still awake. Ana was lying on the vinyl sofa, her huge belly up in the air and her thick curls under her head as a pillow. Bobby was next to her with her feet in his lap and he was slouched against the arm of sofa, dead asleep. Ranger and Tank were seated across the room in club chairs, their arms crossed over their huge chests. Tank's head was back against the wall, and he was snoring. Ranger's head was lolling off to the side and his eyes were shut, but I knew he wasn't fullly asleep. He was always vigilant, ever watchful. Never fully engaged in unconsciousness, and ready to leap at the first indication of trouble. But nevertheless, I was glad he was at least resting.

"Dayna and I talked about some names after the shower yesterday," Linda spoke up. "And she mentioned a few more earlier before they took her into surgery. Tara, Layla, and Faith. I like all of those."

Lula scoffed. "Those are boring," she muttered. "How about something exotic, like Kenyatta? Or Jyoti? Saran!"

"Saran?" I raised my eyebrows. "As in Saran Wrap?"

"It's exotic," Lula reminded me.

"Yeah," I replied weakly. "Still, you hear _Saran_, you think _Wrap_."

Just then, voices from down the hall of the quiet unit came filtering in our direction. A thudding noise was heard, and someone laughed. Two nurses pushing a stretcher loaded down with Dayna, who had the baby in her arms, came into view. Lester was jogging along beside them.

"We're going into twenty-two," Lester exclaimed once he saw me in the waiting room entryway. They rolled Dayna past and I motioned for Linda and Lula to follow me so we could wait outside Dayna's door.

"Let the guys and Ana sleep," Lula said, waving her hand. "Everyone at once wouldn't be good for Dayna and the baby."

Once the nurses had gotten Dayna settled into bed and had wheeled the stretcher out, Lula, Linda, and I tiptoed into the room. It was dark and cool inside, and Lester was already seated in an armchair and was messing with the TV controls before eventually settling on a White Sox season-opener.

"You guys," Dayna gushed in a whisper from her bed. She sounded teary. "Thank you so much for being here. Sorry for the scare earlier."

Linda moved to kiss her daughter's cheek and hugged her gently. She bent down and nuzzled the sleeping baby in her arms. Lula and I each kissed Dayna on the cheek before pulling chairs up to the bedside.

"You and the baby are fine," I whispered back. "That's all that matters."

Dayna was hooked up to several IV lines and had a catheter bag hanging off the bottom of her bed. Some kind of automatic compression devices were wrapped around her lower legs under the covers, and the machines attached to her bed's footboard hummed softly in the background. Her hands were all taped up with tubing and she looked _so_ extremely tired, but happy. Really happy.

"I'm a mom," she whispered incredulously. She looked down at the baby and smiled. "I'm somebody's mommy. I have a baby now." She threw her head in Lester's direction. "Sometimes I still can't believe it's with him, but who cares?" Dayna snickered silently while Lester gave her a death glare from his recliner. "I'm kidding, baby. You know I love you more than life. But we didn't exactly get off to the greatest start."

"Yeah," Lester mumbled from his armchair. "You kept shooting me down. All because of that cock-head Brent Hannigan. Who, by the way, is still in prison at East Jersey State. He's up for parole in twenty-fifty."

"Good," Linda muttered. "I don't know what her father and I ever saw in that man."

Dayna scoffed. "Well, Lester, I found out that you and Bobby had been calling me Nurse Ratched right after I moved into the building last year." She nuzzled the baby and smoothed a non-existent wrinkle from her blanket.

Lester sat up straight. "What about what happened in my kitchen the night you moved into RangeMan, hunh? Remember that? Yeah, I know for a _fact_ that you do. I'd never heard any woman scream my name that loud before. Then you practically told me off afterwards!"

Dayna's mouth dropped open. "Lester!" she hissed. "How dare you bring that up? And speaking of our pre-engagement encounters and name-calling, you referred to me as a bitch down in the gun range right before you slammed me up against the wall and tore off my panties!"

Lester groaned and bit his bottom lip, letting his head roll back onto the vinyl armchair. "Hell, _yeah_," he rasped out. "That was freaking a_ma_zing. And I didn't slam you up against the wall. _You_ slammed _me_ up against the wall. Besides, you were a bitch." He caught the evil eye Dayna was giving him and added, "_Were_, Dayna. Past tense. Although I'm rethinking that right about now..."

When Dayna replied to that last comment of Lester's, she spoke through clenched teeth. "If I didn't just have my perfectly nice stomach cut open with a scalpel and a cauterizer and then stapled back together, I'd be out of this bed with my hands around your throat so quickly that you'd be dead before security got up here."

"Yikes," laughed Lester. "Empty threat, baby. Empty threat." He approached Dayna and took the baby out of her arms.

I cleared my throat and looked over at Linda, who was beet red and had her lips squeezed together so hard they were turning white. This was not exactly ideal conversation in the presence of one's _mother_, but Dayna and Lester were known to be extremely...open when their sex life was involved, no matter who was present. Linda looked back over at me, and eventually everyone fell silent as we all looked to Linda for her response on the matter.

She finally threw her arms up in defeat. "They're adults. And they're married. They can do whatever they want. She's not my little girl anymore." Linda smiled wearily.

"Man," Lula spat out. "Had I known Linda was going to take this so well, we could have played _Guess What Sexual Position They Were In When They Concieved _at the shower, then_."_

Linda chuckled nervously. "Lula," she said gently, placing a hand on Lula's forearm. "You know what? I don't think I want to even go there at this point."

Dayna was grinning wickedly. "Oh, I think I can answer that one," she said, hitting her pain medicine button. "It was our wedding night at the Setai. I'd just gotten my gown off, and I was flat on my back on the bed. And Lester was standing -

Lula exclaimed, "I _knew_ it! Hah!"

"My ears are bleeding," wailed Linda with a moan. She buried her face in her hands. "I can't take much more!"

"Just kill me now," I groaned.

* * *

By the time Ranger, Ana, Bobby, and Tank had been in to see the baby and Dayna, it was nearing daybreak. Dayna looked completely exhausted, Lester was already starting to nod off in his special father's armchair, and they both had still failed to pick out a name for their new daughter.

"We can't agree on anything," Lester yawned. He stood up and lazily grabbed for his keys on the overbed table. "I've got to go home and get the rest of our stuff and the baby's things. I'll be back in an hour or so." He gently kissed Dayna before heading for the door. He stopped and turned back to face us. "Let's just name her Mercedes."

"No way, Santos," Dayna exclaimed. "Pick one. Layla, Faith, or Tara."

"Audi," he replied.

"Tara," Dayna said angrily.

"Acura."

"Faith!"

"How about Toyota? She could pass for being Japanese with all that black hair."

"Lester!"

"Okay, okay. Ooooh, Escalade."

Just as we were about to hightail it out of that room and let the two of them hash it out over baby names, the door cracked open and someone knocked. "It's Meredith," a voice called from the other side. "Can I come in?"

"Come on in," Dayna replied.

Meredith came all the way into the room and grinned. "Just wanted to see how everybody is," she said. "I'm off in less than an hour."

Les moved to put his arm around Meredith, smiling. "What would we have done without you?"

"Oh, you would've managed," laughed Meredith. "I'm sure another nurse would have cared for you guys in the same way. I was just lucky enough to be assigned to your room earlier."

"No, we're the lucky ones," Dayna said from her bed. "You stayed with my husband while I was in surgery, and you took care of me before I had my baby. You went above and beyond. And as a nurse, I can tell you that I truly appreciate it."

"Not at all," Meredith said. "The pleasure was all mine. Now, do we have a name yet?" Meredith bent over the baby's bassinet and stroked her little cheek.

Dayna sighed. "We can't agree on anything. I'm thinking that we'll give it some time and see what we can come up with."

"She'll need a name before she's discharged," Meredith reminded Dayna and Lester. "But I'm sure you two will come up with something beautiful."

Lester smiled and said, "Otherwise we'll have to name her Mercedes."

Meredith's grin disappeared. "You think about it some more, sweetie," she said, patting Lester's hand.

"Is anybody else thinkin' that Meredith's a nice name?" Lula spoke up once Meredith had left.

I chuckled. "They can't name their baby that," I chided her.

"Why not?"

Lester and Dayna fell silent and looked over at me expectantly, waiting for my rationale. Lula's eyes were as wide as soup tureens.

"Well?"

"It's...um..." I sighed, defeated. "I'm sorry, guys. I actually really like the name Meredith."

Les and Dayna turned back to each other. "Do _you_ like it?" Lester asked Dayna.

Dayna was quiet for several moments before grinning softly. "I think it's perfect," she said. "I really love it."

"Meredith," Lester repeated. He went over to the baby and carefully lifted her out of her bassinet. "Do you like Meredith?" He nuzzled the baby and kissed her tiny forehead. "I think she likes it, baby."

"What about a middle name?" Dayna wanted to know.

"What are your grandmothers' names again, baby?" asked Lester. "Because Mercedes and Luz aren't gonna cut it."

Dayna laughed. "My dad's mother is Brunilda. And my mom's mother is Anne."

"Anne it is," Lester exclaimed. "Meredith Anne. I love it."

"Holy crap," I interjected. "Did you guys actually just agree on a name? No more naming different car companies?"

"I think we're done with that, Steph," Dayna replied, chuckling lightly. "If Lester wants to go back down that road, he'll be living out of an Escalade instead of just driving one."

"Well-played, Lady Santos," Lula said.

* * *

Dayna and Meredith had been out of the hospital for a day when my baby shower rolled around on the following Saturday, so Lula and Ana took the liberty of having it at the fire house instead. I had an excellent turnout, since half of the 'Burg showed up with baby gifts in beautifully-wrapped baby boy paper. I'd never seen so many blue bows in my life. I'd gotten pretty much everything I needed, including a blue and brown travel system, bath stuff, and all kinds of clothes.

It was a very nice shower, and Grandma Mazur even behaved herself for the most part. Since the servers from the catering company had been notified ahead of time (by my mother and I) that they weren't to serve her any alcohol due to her "heart condition", Grandma totally bought the sparkling grape juice.

The only notable event that included Grandma was when the cake was brought out. "It's in the shape of a baby buggy," she said while getting a gander at the blue and white confection. "Ain't that a pip." She rubbed my bulging belly. "I was thinking that since you're having a boy, the gals would've gotten you a penis cake. You know, like one of them things at those bachelorette parties."

A hush fell over the shower. Then, "Um, Grandma, I don't think that's appropriate for a baby shower." Valerie to the rescue.

Grandma harrumphed. "Well, hogwash."

"Don't worry, Grandma M." Lula sidled up to Grandma and slung an arm across her bony shoulders. "I actually thought of that myself but since we're dealin' with Miss Conservative over here -" she nodded towards me - "I figured we'd better go the baby-buggy route. But ain't that somethin'? Dirty minds really do think alike."

Grandma smiled up at Lula. "I've always liked you best, Lula."

Ranger, Tank, and Bobby loaded all of the baby gifts into their SUVs after the shower was over and took off for the RangeMan building. When most of the guests had dispersed and the caterers had packed up their van and left, my mother, Val, Lula, and I all sat around and ate the rest of the cake. Ana and Valerie were bustling around us, ripping down balloon bunches, and Grandma Mazur was happily popping them with a tumb tack she'd found.

"I can't believe Lady Santos had to sit this one out," Lula remarked around a mouthful of cake. "It's just not a party without her."

"She's got a lot of recuperating to do," I reminded Lula. "Lester's been great. He and Linda have been taking care of everything. And his mom just got in from Chicago yesterday, so Dayna's got all the help she needs. Not to mention Les's sisters have been in and out."

"Meredith is such a beautiful baby," my mom said dreamily. "I remember how beautiful Samantha was when she was born. She looked just like Meredith. All that black hair and those perfect facial features." She forked a bite of cake into her mouth.

I finished off the icing on my slice of cake and set my plate on the table. "I've got three weeks to go, give or take a few days," I sighed. "I feel like a beached whale. I'm definitely bigger with this baby than I was with Samantha."

"He'll be a ten-pounder," Grandma called from across the room.

"Mother," my mom exclaimed. "Stop scaring Stephanie."

I could envision the headlines now: _Trenton's Own_ _Bombshell Bounty Hunter Gives Birth to a Twelve-Pound Baby Boy. Film at eleven. _

"Don't even think about that," Val said, leaning over and patting my arm. "I know what's going through your head."

"But -

"Don't, Steph. I thought the same thing before I had each of my girls, but in reality he's only about six or seven pounds right now." Val smiled sympathetically.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Okay, but if my vagina_ never_ looks the same after this birth because he really was twelve pounds, I'm coming after you. And it won't be pretty."

Val just kept on grinning.

* * *

Two weeks after my baby shower, Ranger got a bug up his ass about staying home and having a romantic evening together one afternoon. He'd picked a Friday night and had even arranged for Lula and Tank to watch Samantha for us for the night. Ella cooked my favorite, fettucine alfredo, and chicken pasta primavera for Ranger. She'd made salad, garlic bread, and her orgasmic tiramisu for dessert.

Have I not told you yet how amazing Ella is?

"Babe," Ranger said when I'd gotten out of the shower. It takes me longer to bathe than usual, because I've got the Hindenberg in my uterus, but I'd managed to rinse off, wash my hair, and shave in about thirty minutes.

"Ranger," I replied. I waddled over to my dresser and selected a snug-fitting bra, some granny panties, and maternity pajamas from my lingerie drawer.

"Ella's got dinner on the table. So, come on out when you're dressed?"

"Absolutely."

Ranger smiled and kissed me just below my ear. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

When Ranger finally left, I let out all of the fat that I'd been sucking in and released a huge breath. I know that he'd tell me I was beautiful no matter how big I got, or how many rolls at Stephanie's Bakery there happened to be, but I still felt somewhat self-conscious. Ranger's body was perfect, and although I was pregnant, sometimes I felt like the Chik-Fil-A cow next to him.

I dropped my towel and stepped into my granny panties, one foot gingerly at a time. I hiked them up over my belly and tackled the tight bra next. After I'd managed to stuff the girls into the extra-large cups and get the straps yanked up, I pulled on my maternity pajamas and turned to look at myself in the mirror. _There's Stephanie_, I thought. _Gained so much pregnancy weight that it took her two years to look even slightly the same again._

Maybe I should have told Ella to make two pasta primaveras instead, but as soon as I entered the dining room and saw that heaping, quivering mass of carbs and saturated fats, I threw that notion out the window.

"Mmmm," I groaned, savoring the first bite. "So good."

"You'll be saying that later on in our bedroom, babe." Ranger grinned his wolf-grin at me from across the table.

I swallowed my bite. "Only if we can have the lights off," I said seductively, trying to get him into the idea of making love in the dark.

"No way. You know I love the visuals." Ranger bit into his salad.

Damn. Well, it was worth a try.

I'd eaten so much that had I not been pregnant my stomach would have _looked_ like I was, so at least I didn't have to worry about being bloated when Ranger and I slid between the sheets not long after dessert. He crawled up the bed and laid next to me, propped up on his elbow.

"Want to get on top, babe?"

Want my weight to damage your organs and cause internal bleeding, Ranger? "Okay," I finally said. "Are you sure about this?"

"Oh, I'm sure."

_Here goes_, I thought as I rolled onto my side and hefted myself rather unsexily onto his lap so that I was straddling it. I felt a slight twinge somewhere in my nether-regions as I moved, but brushed it off when I realized Ranger's fingers were slowly probing my folds, awakening...things.

"_Dios_, babe," Ranger groaned. "You're so wet. I've never felt you this wet for me before."

I grimaced. "No?"

"Hell, no."

I sat up a little higher and Ranger's fingers delved a little deeper. Suddenly, without warning, the slow trickle of my wetness became a larger gush and splashed onto Ranger's abdomen and thighs. Not to mention his nice, hard -

"Ooops," I said. "I think my water just broke."

"Steph," Ranger grit out, struggling to sit up with me still on his lap. "Are you okay? Can you move?"

"I'm pregnant, not handicapped," I replied. "My due date's not for another six days!" I managed to wiggle myself off of Ranger's lap and eased myself down onto the carpet next to the bed.

Ranger grabbed a towel from somewhere and wiped himself off. "Well, he's early. I'll call Dr. Radcliff. I'll get the bags, then I'll pull the SUV around to the elevator downstairs." He raced naked over to where his keys and cell were and headed into the foyer. I heard the locks on the front door tumble.

"Get dressed first," I shrieked.

A few seconds later, Ranger emerged in our bedroom doorway. "Oh, yeah," he chuckled. "Clothes would be nice. Wouldn't want to put any of the hospital patients into cardiac arrest."

* * *

**A/N: Baby Ricky (Ricardo Carlos Manoso the third) is about to arrive! Stay tuned for more Plum Delivery-Room Bedlam!**


	15. A New Addition

**Thank you to all who have expressed an interest in me getting my ass moving with continuing this story! You are all the best! Hope this new installation finds you all doing well. For those of you who have been supportive about my kitty, thank you all! Your kind words have made this easier. She is doing much better, by the way! So here it is...the latest chapter of Oh, Baby! Please let me know what you think. **

My contractions were beginning to feel like the Incredible Hulk was using my uterus as a squeeze toy by the time Lester, Tank, and Lula made it up to my birthing suite. Lula's basketball boobs and enormous stomach were stuffed into a blast yellow sundress meant for a petite non-pregnant woman. She was currently teetering over the head of my hospital bed in matching blast yellow Louboutin knock-offs, instructing me to take deep breaths and to just visualize the win.

"What win?" I asked her.

She shrugged. "When that twelve-pound sucker comes out, I guess."

"He's not twelve pounds."

"Thank the good Lord," Lula huffed, shuddering. "Batman wouldn't be able to find Ground Zero, what with all that extra stretched-out skin flappin' around down there."

Awesome. "I need something for pain," I told my nurse when she entered the room. "It's really starting to get to me."

She nodded. "I'll take care of that."

Several minutes later, she squeaked back into the room in her rubber-soled nurse clogs and uncapped a needleless syringe. She proceeded to twist the tip of the syringe into a port on my IV tubing and slowly pushed in whatever Happy Juice she was giving me. Sweet relief.

"You're still only at five centimeters," the nurse informed me. "Even though this is your second baby, it still may be quite awhile. What I'm giving you should help you to get some sleep."

The last thing I saw before my eyelids slid shut was Lester standing next to Lula, peering down at me. He grinned his knockout grin and was busy making silly faces at me when I finally slipped into La-La Land, into a deep, restless slumber.

_"Are we good to go?" Ranger asked me, shutting the back door to the Cayenne. He had buckled Samantha into her big-girl car seat and had gotten the baby settled in the backseat next to her. _

_"Yup." I climbed into the passenger's side and arranged the baby's diaper bag at my feet. "I've already got their address plugged into the GPS." I turned around in my seat and faced Samantha. "Ready to go visit Uncle Lester and Aunt Dayna? And cousin Meredith?"_

_Samantha bounced up and down, no doubt delighted about spending time with her favorite aunt, uncle, and baby cousin. I'd done her hair in pigtails, and she was Ralph Lauren Baby right down to her frilly pink socks. _

_We hadn't seen the Santos's in close to three months, since they've both been on parental leave from RangeMan. I was excited to see their new place and finally see Dayna and Meredith, since I missed them living right downstairs. _

_"Twelve-sixteen Aunt Jemima Lane in Bordentown," I read off of the GPS screen. "Strange name for a street. Makes me hungry for pancakes. And chocolate chip waffles."_

_Ranger and I drove in comfortable silence, his hand entwined with mine over the center console. We reached Bordentown not too much time later and the GPS directed us into a subdivision of trashy-looking trailers that advertised Green Acres labeled across a dirty, half-broken neon light-up sign._

_"This clearly isn't it," I laughed. "Wrong Green Acres."_

_"I know we've never been to their new place before," Ranger said, confused. "But their Green Acres is supposed to be more like Millionaire's Mile. This is like a nightmare out of Eight Mile. I half expect Eminem to come rapping down the sidewalk any second."_

_Ranger put the Cayenne in reverse but before he could do any kind of backing up, the door to the trailer closest to the park's entrance opened and Dayna strutted down the steps, carrying Meredith in one arm and balancing several cans of what looked to be Steel Reserve in the other._

_At least I thought it was Dayna. Maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me. I shook my head to clear any potential cobwebs._

_"Is that...Dayna?" Ranger asked. He sounded completely shocked._

_Dayna spotted the Cayenne to her right and tried to wave at Ranger and I, but her arms were just too full. She hurried down the rest of the trailer's front steps and motioned with her head for Ranger to pull in. _

_"Holy Mother of Christ," I mumbled. "This is a nightmare. I'm having a fucking nightmare, aren't I."_

_Dayna set the cans of beer onto a busted-up table near the front door of the trailer and made her way over to us. "I'm so glad you guys made it!" she exclaimed through the Cayenne's open windows. "Welcome to our home! Did you bring the kids?"_

_I exited the Cayenne glued to Ranger's side after leaving the car's a/c running with the kids safely inside. "Dayna, what the hell is going on? What happened to your house?"_

_"What house, Steph?" She looked confused. "I mean, I wouldn't exactly call this a house. It's actually a double-wide."_

_Dayna did not look like the Dayna I saw three months ago. Her once-shiny brown and blonde locks were bleached blonde and were tangled in a greasy, ratty side ponytail held up with a neon orange scrunchie. Her once-perky breasts were sagging down to her...oh, God. Her muffin-top. The faded Goodwill tanktop she had on looked as though it wasn't doing an adequate enough job holding in her goods. Neon green exercise shorts stretched across her Texas-sized ass, her dirty feet were stuffed into cheapo dollar-store flipflops, and her only excuse for makeup was two thick eyeliner rings around her bloodshot eyes. _

_I could tell that Romina down at Bahama Nails was clearly no longer doing her manicures and pedicures by the chipped hot pink toe polish in place of her usual French and the tiny nubbins of fingernails that used to be long and healthy._

_Worst of all, when she opened her mouth to smile at me, her once-perfect white teeth had morphed into rotted yellow squares that stuck crookedly out of her gums. Several of her teeth were missing, anyway, and big black gaps shone in the vacant spaces. _

_Ranger found his voice. "Where the hell is Santos?" _

_Dayna gestured towards the trailer. "He's around back, working on the car." To my absolute horror, she dug a pack of Newports out of a pocket in her shorts and lit up, barely hanging onto the sleeping infant in her arms. _

_"What is the matter with you?" I shrieked, ripping the cigarette from between her lips and stomping it out on the hard-packed dirt. _

_Before Dayna could protest, "Hey, you guys made it!" Lester's voice rang across the yard and seconds later, he came into view._

_Dayna's appearance was shocking enough. Seeing Lester put the Weird-o-Meter into overdrive. _

_A huge beer belly covered what were once eight-pack abs. His hair was long and touched his shoulders, tangled and frizzed. He was soiled with car grease and motor oil, reeked of alcohol and dirty armpits, and was in desperate need of a shave. And when he smiled, I half expected dead worms and maggots to crawl out from between his teeth. _

_"Santos," Ranger gasped. "I can't find words. Shit, I can't even find words to fucking say."_

_Overwhelmed, I dashed away from the group and ran around to the back of the trailer to the driveway, praying to God that I'd at least see Dayna's black G35 or Lester's Escalade or some other indication of normalcy. The vehicle sitting on top of the cinder blocks was a rusted-out 1981 Cutlass. No Escalade or Infiniti in sight. Lester and Ranger followed me, and Lester gave the Cutlass's front quarter panel a bop with his wrench._

_"I've gotta get this thing running so that Dayna can drive down to the WIC office," Lester announced. "Our checks are in. Now we can buy baby formula and stop putting regular cow's milk into Meredith's bottle. I don't think it's good for her."_

_My mouth opened in shock. Regular milk? Were they insane? What happened to that expensive Medela breast pump Dayna had received for her shower? Everyone knows babies aren't supposed to have cow's milk. Dayna was a nurse, for Pete's sake!_

_"This is just too weird," I exclaimed, throwing my arms up in an Italian rant. "I can't see you guys like this. What the hell happened to you two? It's only been three months since we've last seen you, and both of your teeth couldn't possibly have rotted out in that time frame." I turned to Lester. "Since when do you drink? And since when does Dayna smoke? This is ridiculous! How could you do this? Where are the real Lester and Dayna? Why haven't you been taking care of your baby?"_

"Steph -

"Why haven't you been taking care of your baby?"

"Beautiful -

"Go take care of your baby. And your teeth. And stop smoking!"

"Babe."

The smell of Bulgari and strong arms encircling my body awoke me with a start. I felt sweaty and groggy as my eyes fell on the side rails of my birthing bed. Beyond the siderails were the lit-up buttons of an IV pump and windows with the curtains closed. The steady _thump-thump_ of a fetal monitor filled the air, and I rolled my head back onto my pillow with a groan.

"Jesus," I mumbled. "I was dreaming. It _had_ to have been a dream. If all that was actually real, we're in serious trouble."

"How's your pain?" Ranger asked me.

"Minimal right now."

My birthing suite door opened and I turned my head to see who my latest guest was.

"Where the hell's my new damn great-grandson?"

Tank and Lester were seated in the corner, watching ESPN's baseball highlights. I was certain that Lester's nuts jumped up into his body at the sound of Grandma Mazur's voice, but Tank's were probably still hanging out where they should be. Out of all the RangeMen, Tank had yet to endure the wrath of Edna Mazur. I suspected it was because he was the sharpest out of all of the guys, as Ranger's right-hand-man, but poor Santos was on Cloud Nine lately and wasn't able to detect Grandma's wandering hands approaching his package or his butt until it was too late.

"Still in here," I replied, rubbing my belly between the two strapped-on monitors. "No action yet. I got something for pain a little while ago and actually got some sleep, but it still might be a long ways off."

My mother popped her head into the room. "We came as soon as we could," she exclaimed, coming through the door with my father at her side. After kissing me on the cheek, he joined Lester and Tank over at the TV for some ESPN and socialization with other men. "The Buick stalled out on the corner of Hamilton and Broad. Your father had to walk back to the house and get the cab." My mother put her purse down and perched herself on the edge of my bed, next to Ranger. "Where's Samantha?"

"Lula and Tank were watching her when my water broke, so they came with us to the hospital and left Sam with Ella and Louis. They're bringing her over after the baby's born."

My grandmother Mazur was standing over me, inspecting all of my tubes and wires. She clucked at the monitors strapped to my belly under my gown and tsk-tsked at all of my IVs.

"What are they giving you in these things?" she asked me, peering up at the bags hanging from the IV pole.

"I'm not exactly sure, but I'm pretty positive they're supposed to be helping me give birth to this baby." I shifted to my right side and waited while Ranger adjusted the pillow behind my back. "I think I'm ready for my epidural."

"Not until you're at seven centimeters," Ranger reminded me. "You heard what the nurse said."

"Screw what the nurse said," I snapped. "Either that, or I want more Happy Juice."

My mother gave Ranger a sympathetic smile. "It's not you, sweetie," she said to him.

"It _is_ him," I insisted. "Damn Bat-Sperm."

The door to my birthing suite opened again and just as I was about to tell whoever it was to take a hike unless they had drugs with them, Dayna breezed in with Meredith in a baby carrier and quietly shut the door behind her.

"Oh, thank God," I breathed as soon as I saw her shiny brown hair and perfect smile. "By the way, do you own neon green exercise shorts?"

She looked confused. "Um...no, Steph."

"Thank you, Jesus."

* * *

My epidural was in and things couldn't have been better. If it weren't four o'clock in the morning, the sun would be shining and birds would be chirping. It was still creepy having some wire jammed in between my vertebrae, but whoever invented it should be hugged. Had to have been a woman. No man could ever be this ingenious.

Tank and Lester had taken Ranger and my dad down to the cafeteria to get an early glimpse at what the hospital was serving for breakfast, but I really suspected they were all down in the hospital's smoking area with cigars. Dayna, in the corner, was covered in a pink blanket and had her Army Rangers tee shirt lifted up. Meredith was attached to her breast, drinking like there was no tomorrow. My mother was crocheting in the easy chair next to me. And Grandma and Lula were watching the latest on Casey Anthony.

"That crazy ho," Lula suddenly burst out. "She'd better get plastic surgery. I'd recognize her ass anywhere."

"Some woman in Nebraska claims she's Casey Anthony's double," Grandma said. "Boy, I'd hate to be her. Angry citizens would harrass the wrong girl."

"No one's going to do that," I scoffed. "She'll be a millionaire before we know it."

"Ain't that a bitch," Lula muttered.

The door opened and my nurse strode in. She checked the readout on my contraction pattern and listened to the baby's heartbeat on the monitor for a few seconds. When she was done, she located a pair of sterile gloves and some KY before settling herself at the foot of my bed and nudging my legs apart.

"Well?" I asked darkly. "Am I at ten yet?"

She felt around in there a little more. "Yep," she finally replied. "Ten centimeters. Time to start pushing. I'll page Dr. Radcliff to the unit." She looked around. "Where's your husband?"

"They're all downstairs."

"Might want to get them up here."

Things happened really fast after that. Hospital policy wouldn't allow more than three people in the birthing room with me, so I narrowed it down to Ranger, my mother, and Grandma. Something told me that having Grandma in there might be trouble, but I figured how much trouble could she get in if my mother_ and_ Ranger were in there to supervise, right?

Wrong.

"Let me just get out my camera," Grandma said while the nurses hoisted my legs up into stirrups. "I don't want to miss a thing."

"Grandma -

"Hush, you. This is something you'll want to remember for the rest of your life."

Yeah, I can't wait to be reminded of my vagina stretching to accomodate a watermelon and, if I should be so unlucky, a pebble of poop popping out right along with the baby. I felt the urge to push through the epidural and voiced this to the nurses.

"Go ahead," they told me. "Dr. Radcliff is scrubbing up."

Through the counting and excited "come on, Stephanies" I managed to catch a glimpse of Grandma off to the right with a video camera. Shit. This was so not good. Not only was she filming the gaping mess between my legs, but my hair and makeup weren't done.

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask that you put that video camera away," one of the nurses said to Grandma. "It's hospital policy. No camcorders."

"Ain't that a pip," Grandma said, angrily flipping the lens cover back onto the camera. "I'll put it back in my purse then." Between pushes, I watched her open her shoulder bag and begin to root around, looking for her camera case. "I know I just had that cotton-pickin' thing." Grandma gave up and dumped out her entire purse on the overbed table, and her .45 long-barrel clonked down onto the plastic tray. "There you are, Elsie." Grandma picked the gun up and held it fondly.

"GUN! GUN, EVERYBODY DOWN!" screamed a nurse. The entire room froze and dove for cover before Ranger managed to wrestle the gun from Grandma and secure it at the back of his jeans, under the waistband.

Ranger, panting, said, "It's okay, I've secured the weapon."

"Call security!" hollered another nurse. "Call the cops! This crazy old lady's got a gun!"

"Hey!" I yelled from my bed. "That's my grandmother. And I need to push again!"

Security reached the door to my birthing suite in record time, Tank and Lester on their heels. They burst inside with two armed Trenton PD cops and retrieved the weapon Ranger handed to them. They headed for Grandma with handcuffs, but Lester stopped them.

"We've got it from here, man," he said to one of the cops.

"I've still got to take her down for carrying concealed," the guy explained to Lester. "Has she got a permit for that gun?"

At that moment, Grandma reached around and squeezed a handful of Lester's ass through his Levi's. Hard. "It's so nice that you're willing to save an old lady from gettin' her mug shot taken downtown," she warbled, staring up into his shocked face. "I've always thought you were the sexiest one, too."

"Nope," Lester exclaimed angrily to the guards. "Best to take her down to the station."

My mother was leaning back in the easy chair, fanning her face with a _People_ magazine. "Dear God in Heaven," she kept repeating.

While all the melee was going on, I was still pushing away and had half a head sticking out of me by the time the cops carted Grandma off, my father right behind them and ready to bail her out. I suspected he would rather them keep her there for an indefinite amount of time, but the look my mother gave him got him moving with his credit card in hand.

Lula stuck her head in. "There room for one more in here?" She glanced at the party going on between my thighs. "Whoa. Looks like there's about to be one more real soon."

"Just come in," I wailed. "They've arrested my grandmother for carrying concealed, and -

"One more push and he's out," yelled a nurse. "Come on, Steph. You can do it."

I mustered strength from I don't know where and gave another big push. With a funny twinge and a lot of pressure, Ranger and I's newest child slid out and joined the crowd with a nice big cry. Dr. Radcliff propped him up on my chest and some nurses began toweling him off to get him to cry better. It was amazing. I was now a mother of two. Everything felt complete.

"He's beautiful, Steph!" a wavering voice said from the doorway. It was Dayna and big mascara tears were running down her cheeks.

"Can she come in?" I asked Dr. Radcliff. "Please?"

"As long as it's not your grandmother, I'm open to just about anybody coming in."

* * *

I had baby Ricky up to my breast practicing his breastfeeding when Tank and Lester entered my recovery suite.

"We went down to the station with your dad and your grandma," Tank informed me. "She got bonded out right away by Vinnie. We had to do a lot of persuading to get Vinnie to do the bond, but in the end I think he'll believe it was worth it."

"And that bruise from the gun butt should go away in no time," added Lester, adjusting the Glock that I knew was nestled at the small of his back, under his jeans waistband.

Dayna was rocking Meredith in the corner, yawning. "I'm exhausted," she said. "We've been awake all night. And all morning. It's practically lunchtime."

"I'm definitely exhausted," I agreed. "Although I have to say that I was more tired after I gave birth to Samantha. I think it was because I had to work harder to get her out." I switched Ricky to the other breast and waited while he latched on. He was actually pretty good at it, and I silently thanked God that he was getting the hang of breastfeeding.

Tank and Lester walked over to Ricky and I to meet the baby. "He's gorgeous," Tank remarked, scooping the baby up into his huge arms. Lester stood over his shoulder and cooed.

"Looks just like the Bossman." Les brushed his thumb across Ricky's cheek. They stood there with him for several minutes until Meredith started crying.

"Lil' mama wants something," Lester said, heading over to his wife and daughter. "I bet she wants to go home and sleep in her nice comfy cradle instead of this shitty car seat."

"It was the most expensive one in the store," Dayna remarked dryly. "I remember because I went crazy after I saw the receipt from your credit card."

"Oh, yeah. And then you did that thing I like."

"What? Cut up your credit card?"

"No, after that."

"Dream on, Santos." Dayna strapped Meredith into the carrier and handed it to Lester. She slung the diaper bag over her shoulder and headed over to kiss me on the cheek. She nuzzled the baby for a few seconds and finally pulled away, a goofy smile on her face. "I'm so glad Meredith will have a playmate her age."

"She'll have two more soon," I reminded her. "Lula's due any second. And Ana's a ticking time bomb."

"She and Bobby are probably having a great time in Nova Scotia but I hope they make it back before she goes into labor."

"Yeah, me, too."

Tank kissed me on the cheek and said that he was going to join Ranger, Lula, and my parents down in the cafeteria for coffee. Ella and Louis were on their way with Samantha, and since Grandma was banned from the hospital she'd have to wait and see the baby until after we got home.

Dayna and Lester were halfway out the door when she stopped him and pulled him up against the open door with her. "Wait. What were you referring to when you mentioned that thing you like?"

A slow smile spread across Santos's face as he stared down at his wife. "That thing where you kiss all the way down to my toes and -

"Hey," I said from my bed. "Can you guys whisper? Please? For my own mental health?"

Lester bent down and brushed his lips across Dayna's ear while he whispered quietly to her. She giggled for a few seconds and then whispered something back in his ear while standing on her tippy toes. A gutteral groan emerged from Lester's chest as his hands became tight fists at his sides. He plastered Dayna up against the door using his body and ground against her front, his hands clutching her waist.

"You two have three more weeks before all the sex can start up again," I reminded them.

"Some of it can start now," Lester replied. He turned back to Dayna and growled something in her ear. This caused her head to fall back against the door and a breathy, "Fuck!" to escape her lips as she twisted her hips to try to feel Lester through the seam of his jeans.

Dayna has only said that word twice since I've known her. Once, when she told Scrog to go fuck himself, and again after Ranger and I had been so lucky to catch her and Lester having makeup sex on the hood of her G35 after a particularly nasty fight. I guess three in the morning is a bad time to walk into the back part of the RangeMan garage.

"Get out of here," I exclaimed. "Even this is making me horny and I just had a baby."

Ranger entered my recovery suite with a clear plastic water jug filled with ice water. "Time to drink another one of these," he announced. "I passed Santos on my way up. Who the hell gets a hard-on in a maternity ward?"

"Doesn't surprise me." I took the jug and drank from the straw, surprised at how thirsty I was. "The baby eats pretty good. I'm still having the lactation consultant come in for good measure later, but he's got the hang of it."

"That's great, babe." Ranger kissed me just below my ear.

"Where's everybody else?"

"Actually, Tank and Lula are down in triage because Lula had some pretty painful contractions while sipping her cup of decaf. They're checking her to see if she's going into labor. Your parents are down in the gift shop, and I just spoke to Bobby. He and Ana made it back to Trenton a couple hours ago and are on their way here. And apparently Lou Raguzzi and his wife Stella are quarantining your grandmother at their house until your parents get home."

"So it's just us for awhile?" I asked him.

Ranger grinned. "Yep."

I sighed. "We're a family of four."

"Amazing, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

I leaned my head back against Ranger's chest and the two of us sat and watched Ricky sleep in his bassinet, all the cares of the world flying right out the window. Life was as close to perfect as it could get.

* * *

**Stay tuned...more to come! **


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